Jess pulled away. It was only the slightest movement, but Rob instantly released her. He stepped back, still supporting her, but now from an arm’s length away.
She could hear his breathing, ragged and quick as he struggled to regain his control.
“Oh, my God,” he whispered. “I’m sorry—”
“No,” Jess said quickly. “Don’t apologize. Come home with me. That’s where we should be. I want to stop—but only until we get home.”
Across the parking lot, a car engine started with a roar. As it pulled out, its headlights swept across them. Rob released her and took another step back, pushing his disheveled hair out of his face.
“I can’t,” he said tightly. God, she would never know how much he wanted her. She’d never know how close those kisses had come to pushing him over the edge. She’d tasted so sweet, she’d felt so right in his arms. She’d so clearly wanted more… “Jess, I’m sorry—”
Another car started up. Rob looked down at Jess. Her lips were parted and moist, and her cheeks were flushed with desire. She wanted him to come home with her, to come with her into her bed. Her dark eyes were molten, wanting him…
In a sudden flash, he saw another woman, only this one looked up at him with pain and fear in her eyes. There was blood everywhere, so much blood… He was covered with the blood, with her blood. And as he watched, the pain and fear drained from those eyes, leaving them lifeless, glazed, dead…
Rob backed away. “I’m sorry….” he said again.
“It’s okay—”
“No, it’s not,” he said savagely, and turning, he bolted for the other side of the parking lot, for his car.
“Rob, wait—”
Jess started after him, but the light disappeared with the car that left the parking lot, leaving them again in darkness. Dammit, what was wrong with him? She couldn’t chase him—she couldn’t leave Kelsey.
She saw the sudden flash of headlights and heard the squeal of tires as his car pulled away.
He was gone. Just like that.
HE HADN’T PLANNED IT, but suddenly the need was so great, he had to do it.
This area was unfamiliar to him. That was bad. But the drive back to his own neighborhood would take at least half an hour. And once he was there, he wouldn’t be guaranteed satisfaction.
More importantly, he couldn’t wait that long. Already, he was burning.
Suddenly he knew the solution, and he pulled into the parking lot of one of the fancy condominium high rises that sat directly on Crescent Beach. It was risky, the car could get towed, but it must be done.
The beach was dark, and a thick fog was rolling in off the gulf. Several of the high rises had flood lamps that lit part of the beach, but most of them didn’t.
The darkness, the fog and the late hour didn’t keep a few hardy couples from strolling along the edge of the water, hand in hand. Occasionally, a crowd of partying teenagers would pass by, but mostly the beach was empty.
Empty and very, very dark.
The powdery sand shifted into one of his shoes. As he sat down on a wooden beach chair to wait, he emptied it out.
It didn’t take long until he found her.
She was walking alone, dressed in a windbreaker, her hair tied back with a scarf.
She wasn’t as young as she should be, and he didn’t even know the color of her hair. It wouldn’t be as good, as complete.
But it would be done.
He flicked his knife open.
WHEN JESS PULLED INTO the driveway, Rob’s car wasn’t there.
She hadn’t really expected him to be there, waiting for her, but at the same time, she couldn’t help feeling disappointed.
And hurt. Not to mention confused as hell.
What had just happened between her and Rob? Had she missed some vital and important moment? Had she misunderstood something he’d said?
One moment he’d been kissing her as if his single goal in life were to make love to her, and the next he was running away from her as if she carried the plague, shouting his apologies over his shoulder.
The entire episode had been too strange.
I can’t kiss you, he’d said—right before he’d kissed her.
And what a kiss. She’d never been kissed that way before. She’d never been kissed so hungrily, so passionately—as if she were the only woman in the world that he wanted.
Except he didn’t want her.
She’d invited him to come home with her, to make love to her. True, she hadn’t used quite those words, but her meaning had been clear. She’d been ready to give herself to him, totally.
And he’d run away.
He’d rejected her.
Don’t cry, she ordered herself sternly, trying to force back the tears that were flooding her eyes. It wasn’t the end of the world. It only felt like it right now.
A tear escaped, and she closed her eyes, letting her head fall back against the headrest.
What was wrong with her? Why was she always attracted to men who ended up hurting her?
In the back seat, Kelsey stirred and sat up groggily. “Are we home?”
Jess quickly wiped her face. “Yeah,” she said. “We’re home.”
“Where’s Rob?” Kelsey asked, more awake. “Didn’t we need to drive him home? Where did he go?”
Jess pushed the remote and the garage door slid up. She glanced at her daughter in the rearview mirror as she pulled into the garage. Even in the dimness, she could see that Kelsey’s eyes were dark with worry.
“Rob lent his car to Ian,” she explained. “Ian returned it to him, so Rob’s driving it home.”
But Kelsey didn’t seem to hear, or understand. “Was it Ian’s fault?” she asked suddenly, her small face tight. “Did he make Rob go away?”
“What?” Jess turned on the car’s interior light and looked at her daughter.
Kelsey looked down at her hands. They were clasped tightly in her lap.
“Kel, I don’t understand what you asked about Ian,” Jess said. “I need you to explain. Please?”
Kelsey looked up at Jess, tears in her big eyes. “When we were at the Pelican Club, you seemed so happy. I saw you and Rob kissing. While you were on stage, I asked Rob if he was in love with you, you know, like Ariel and Prince Eric in The Little Mermaid.”
Jess’s heart caught in her throat. “Oh, Kel.” What did he say, she wanted to ask. Lord, she thought, look at me, about to pump my daughter for information, like a lovesick seventh grader.
“He said that it was more like Beauty and the Beast, and then he looked really sad.” Kelsey took a deep breath. “But I was happy, because in the movie, the Beast comes back to life and he marries Belle in the end, and I thought that meant you and Rob were gonna get married, and we could all live happily ever after.”
There was a moment of silence while Jess took all of that in.
Kelsey added darkly, “Then Ian showed up, and he was so rude to you, saying those mean things, and I was so mad at him, and when me and Rob played video games, I was really just pretending to play, really, I was so mad at Ian….”
“I’m sorry, Kel,” Jess murmured, reaching back to pull her daughter up to the front seat and into her lap.
“Then Rob told me that it wasn’t Ian’s fault that he acted so rude. He told me that Ian was upset ‘cause he still loved you, and I told Rob that if Ian still loved you, then he wouldn’t be so mean to you, and I told him how Ian used to yell so loudly and break things and make you cry, and I was glad he didn’t live here anymore. I told him that I hated Ian.”
“What did he say?” Jess asked, looking down into her daughter’s fierce face.
Kelsey blinked, her angry expression changing. “Rob told me that it was okay for me to be mad at Ian. He said he was pretty mad at him, too. But he said that I should probably give Ian a break, because he’s my father, even though he doesn’t want me to call him Daddy. And Rob said that he thought maybe someday, when I’m older, I’d be able to get to know Ian, a
nd maybe then I might even like him a little bit. He said that maybe by that time, Ian might be a little older, too, and that that would help.”
Jess didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
“Rob’s a pretty smart guy,” she said. She took a deep breath. “Kel, Ian didn’t chase Rob away.” Jess had done that all by herself. “Okay?”
“Okay.” Kelsey’s face was still skeptical. “So, are you going to marry Rob?”
Jess hugged her daughter close to her. “We’ve gone on one date,” she told her. One date, and there wasn’t likely to be another. “People don’t get married after just one date.”
“Prince Eric and Ariel did,” Kelsey countered. “And so did Belle and the Beast.”
Jess gave Kelsey a kiss. “If only,” she said, “life could be as simple as a Disney animated movie.”
“MURDER ON SIESTA KEY—Victim Twelve?”
The sensational newspaper headline caught Jess’s eye at the gas station, inside the little attached convenience store.
A woman had been murdered on the beach on Siesta Key. Last night. Not more than a mile from the Pelican Club.
Jess quickly skimmed the article. The coroner’s report estimated the victim’s time of death at about 1:30 a.m.—just shortly after she had left the club. Minutes after that disastrous kiss.
Where had Rob gone after that? What had he done? He certainly hadn’t gone onto Crescent Beach and slit a woman’s throat. Had he?
The unpleasant truth was that Jess couldn’t say that for sure. She didn’t know Rob well enough. She knew he had a dark side and a violent past. But just how dark and violent?
According to the article, the police were hesitant to link this death to the Sarasota Serial Killer. All of the previous murders had been committed in the victims’ own bedrooms—this killing was done right out in the open, on the beach, not far from where Jess’s parents owned a house. And the woman didn’t fit the killer’s usual type. She was older, with light brown hair.
Not that it really mattered. Either way, the poor woman was dead.
And Jess couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that the dead woman could well have been her.
Chapter Five
“Robert Carpenter. Nickname Rob. Born September 13, 1962, in Jersey City, New Jersey,” Rob said aloud as he rinsed his razor in the bathroom sink. It always helped to recite exactly who he was and where he had come from every morning. He gazed at himself in the mirror as he finished shaving. “NYU, class of ‘85, computer science. Took time off between sophomore and junior year to travel out west. Got a job at Digital directly out of college, moved to a small software design company before the layoffs—a company that has since conveniently gone out of business. Moved to Sarasota less than a year ago.”
He rinsed his face, splashing cold water on his cheeks as he gazed up again into his ordinary brown eyes. “Outside interests include books, folk music, movies…and being boring as hell.”
Rob leaned closer, trying to see what Jess saw when she looked into his eyes. He couldn’t figure it out.
He knew what he saw in her. She was a vivacious, happy, friendly lady with a cheerful disposition and the ability to smile in the face of disaster. In fact, Rob knew her better than he knew himself these days. She’d caught his eye the day he’d moved to Sarasota, and he’d watched her for months. He’d watched her playing with her daughter in the yard, saw the love they shared. He’d even sometimes followed them on a Saturday when they went to the beach or out shopping. He’d envied them their casual happiness. More recently, as they welcomed him into their lives as a friend as well as a tenant, Jess had talked without reservation about her warm, wonderful parents and her happy childhood. He’d fantasized at great length about being a permanent part of their perfect little world.
He’d fantasized about more than that, too.
Jess. Yeah, he’d fantasized about her also at great length.
But now he was avoiding her.
The past few days had been hell. Each day, he had left for work early in the morning and hadn’t returned each night until long after midnight.
He wanted so badly to see Jess, to talk to her, to touch her. Yes, this project he was working on required some overtime, but not so much that he was forced to stay until midnight. He stayed late because he couldn’t risk running into her. He knew he wouldn’t be able to stand the temptation. He could still taste that kiss….
Rob also knew that whatever time he came home from work, he’d do no more than lie awake in his bed for most of the night. And when he did finally fall asleep, he’d dream about being a part of Jess’s life. He’d dream about being normal, about being a husband and father.
But then reality always intervened in the form of the dawn. He would stagger out of bed and into the bathroom. And there, in the bathroom mirror, he would be faced with his bleary-eyed reflection—and the fact that he was not, had never been, and would never be normal.
What right did he have to dream about being Kelsey’s father? His own father had been one hell of a lousy role model. The only thing Rob’s father had taught him was how to beat the crap out of a kid like Kelsey—how to degrade her and crush her self-esteem into oblivion. Oh, yeah, and he had also learned from his dear old dad how to intimidate and hurt without leaving bruises behind. He knew how to be feared and hated.
What goes around comes around.
Rob got dressed, carried his suitcase to his car, and then climbed back up the stairs and onto the deck to knock on Jess’s kitchen door.
He took a deep breath, forcing his speeding heart to slow. Yes, he was going to see her, but only for the briefest moment.
He knocked then waited as he heard her movement in the kitchen, as the door swung open. Jess stared out at him through the screen. She was wearing shorts and a T-shirt, and her feet were bare. Her hair was slightly messed, as if she hadn’t gotten around to brushing it yet this morning. Her eyes were guarded.
“Hi,” Rob said, wishing that she would smile at him, but knowing that she wouldn’t. He looked away from her, down at the deck. “I, uh, just wanted to let you know that I’m going out of town tonight.”
Jess pushed the screen door open, a gesture that invited him inside. She had just finished pushing and prodding Kelsey onto the kindergarten bus, and had been getting ready to leave on her regular Thursday morning grocery run when Rob had knocked on the door. But the groceries could wait. She wanted—no, needed—to talk to him. But he shook his head, still not quite meeting her eyes.
“I’ve got to get to the office—I’m already running late,” he said. “We’ve got a project going and we’re working around the clock.”
Jess stepped out on the deck, joining him in the hot morning sunshine. “Gee, and I thought you were just hiding from me.”
He was tired. She could see it in his eyes, on his face, in the way he was standing. But he smiled at her words. It was a sweet smile that touched his eyes with sadness and made her heart turn over.
“I was doing that, too,” he admitted. His smile faded, leaving only the sadness in his brown eyes. “I’m sorry about…what happened.” He rubbed his forehead as if he had a bad headache. “The bottom line,” he continued, “is that I really had no right to go out with you in the first place. I thought I could handle it—you know, being with you—but I couldn’t, and I’m really sorry, Jess. The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt you.”
“I don’t understand,” she finally said when he didn’t speak again. “Are you telling me that you’re married?”
He shook his head. “No.”
“Engaged?”
Another head shake.
“Seeing someone else?”
“No, Jess, it’s not that at all…” But he didn’t explain.
“Then what?” She willed him to look up, to meet her eyes, and finally he did. “Are you some kind of priest?”
That got a rueful smile. “Not even close.” He paused, looking away again. “I just…I need some space, some distance. I got
too close, Jess, and I needed some time to back away. I still need time.”
She crossed her arms, wondering if he could read the unhappiness in her face as clearly as she read his. Why wouldn’t he be more specific? Why did he need space? There was clearly an explosive spark of attraction between them that in her mind was well worth the time and effort it would take to explore it. She liked him and he liked her. Why not see where that might go?
And unless Rob had some dark secret that was keeping him from starting a relationship with her…
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I really am.”
“That’s too bad,” she told him quietly. “Kelsey misses you.”
He met her eyes then. Kelsey missed him. Did Jess miss him, too? He didn’t say the words aloud, but she saw the question in his eyes.
She looked so sad, so fragile. Rob forced himself to take a step back, away from her. God help him if he gave in to this damned urge to put his arms around her.
He took another step back, and cleared his throat. “I’ll be gone for two weeks,” he told her. “With any luck, it’ll be a few days less.”
Jess nodded, her beautiful dark eyes watching him soberly. “Where are you going—if you don’t mind my asking?”
“Orlando.”
“Kelsey’s going to be so jealous.” She was trying so hard to be casual, to pretend that he hadn’t created this big, awkward chasm between them. “I’m not going to be able to convince her that you’re hard at work instead of running around Disney World.”
Rob had to laugh. “I’m not going to have time to get within twenty miles of Disney World,” he said.
“That she’ll find scandalous,” Jess told him with an answering smile. “Going to Orlando without paying homage to the Great Mouse is sacrilege.”
“Tell her I’m sorry,” he said. But the apology in his eyes was for more than Kelsey. It was for Jess, too.
She nodded again, looking away from him. “I guess we’ll see you when you get back.”
Rob couldn’t help but think that if he’d made love to Jess, if he’d followed the urgings of his body and become her lover, then it was very likely that he would be kissing her goodbye right now. She would be in his arms, her beautiful body fitting so perfectly against his. Kissing her goodbye? Hell, with Kelsey at school, he’d swing her up into his arms, carry her into her bedroom and make love to her all morning long.
No Ordinary Man Page 6
