“The batteries are running out,” she replied, motioning toward the flashlight. “I was going to get some candles. And now that the wind’s not blowing so hard, I want to open the windows. It’s hot in here.”
“I’ll do it,” Rob said. He moved toward her, gently pushing her back onto the bed. “Let me do it, okay?”
She looked up at him. He still didn’t have his glasses on, but his eyes no longer looked blue. Must’ve been the light before, she thought hazily.
She closed her eyes, hearing him moving around the room, opening the windows. It had been a long time since someone had taken care of her, she realized suddenly. It felt nice, knowing that he cared enough to help her.
He was a good friend, she thought sleepily. Except she didn’t want to be friends. She wanted…
She wanted to know more about him. And tomorrow she was going to ask him a raftload of questions that he was going to answer.
Jess drifted off to sleep, dreaming of snake tattoos and razor sharp knives.
Chapter Six
A persistent shaking woke Jess. She opened her eyes to see Rob sitting on the edge of her bed, leaning over her, candlelight playing across his handsome face. He smiled with relief.
“You scared me there,” he said. “I thought for a minute that you weren’t going to wake up, and I’d have to take you to the hospital.”
She stared at him with wide eyes, taking in the candles on her bedside table, his tousled hair and lack of shirt, the tattoos of the snake and the sword on his left arm.
Rob frowned at her confused look. “Jess, do you remember what happened?”
“No,” she breathed. Lord, what was he doing there, in her bedroom? Did he…? Did they…? And if so, why couldn’t she remember? She recalled his tattoos. That was for certain. She’d definitely seen them before. As well as Rob’s well-toned body…
“Do you know me?” he asked, his brown eyes searching her face.
“No,” she said again. “I mean, I know that you’re Rob Carpenter, but I don’t know you very well at all.”
There was relief in his eyes. Amusement and heat. He was leaning over her, with one arm supporting his weight, propped against the mattress, pinning her in place. If he leaned forward much farther, their lips would meet. She could see from his eyes that he was as aware of that as she.
“You hit your head,” Rob said. “Do you remember that?”
It came back to her in a rush. His apartment. Thunderstorm. Windows open. Shadowy shape of a man. Big, gleaming knife…
“You had a knife…?”
“I didn’t think it was you,” he said quickly. “You always knock. You never just come in. I thought you were…someone breaking in. So, yeah—I had my knife out.”
His knife. He said the words with such familiarity, as if he always carried a lethal-looking weapon. The blade of that knife had been long and deadly. Long enough to slit a throat…
Jess felt a shiver of fear. She was a little bit afraid of this man, she realized. Afraid, but also attracted.
“What were you doing, coming in like that?” Rob asked.
Jess moistened her dry lips. “I was in your place this afternoon,” she said, “changing the AC filter. When it started to rain, I was afraid I’d left the windows open and…”
She gazed up into Rob’s eyes. He wasn’t wearing his glasses, and without them, he looked older and harder, and somehow, at the same time, more vulnerable. His perfect nose wasn’t quite so perfect. It looked as if it had been broken at the bridge, maybe even more than once. And he had a scar she’d never noticed before, right underneath his right eyebrow. He looked dangerous in the flickering candlelight, with shadows dancing across his features. But he also looked tired. Not just physically tired, but psychologically weary.
His gaze dropped almost longingly to her mouth. She could see his tension in the muscles that worked the sides of his jaw as he clenched and unclenched his teeth.
It wouldn’t take much, Jess knew, for him to kiss her again, the way he’d kissed her in the parking lot of the Pelican Club. And this time there’d be nothing to stop them from carrying that kiss through to its culmination.
He pulled back then, putting more space between them, as if he could somehow read her thoughts. He probably could. Jess wouldn’t have been surprised if everything she was thinking was written clearly across her face.
But now that he wasn’t sitting closer, his gaze was drawn to Jess’s legs. She was wearing nothing more than an old T-shirt that barely met the tops of her high-cut panties. Her legs were bare and smooth and at that proximity, nearly impossible for him to ignore.
He briefly closed his eyes. “Is there anything I can get you?” When he opened his eyes again, he carefully kept his gaze on her face.
Jess shook her head. “Not unless you know where to get a spare air conditioner at—” she leaned forward to look at the glowing numbers on her clock radio “—two o’clock in the morning.”
“No,” he said with a laugh. It broke his concentration, and his eyes slipped down to her legs again. He wrestled his gaze back to her face. “It is kind of hot in here, isn’t it? I know the power’s been off for a while, but I’m also guessing that sometime this afternoon the AC finally broke down.”
“Yeah. To the tune of five hundred dollars.” He looked so good sitting there like that. He had the kind of lean, muscular body most men only dreamed of achieving, the kind of body muscle shirts were created for. Yet Rob never wore anything but long-sleeved shirts.
He wore them to hide his tattoos, Jess realized suddenly. Of course, that had to be it.
“Five hundred?” Rob grimaced. “Ouch.”
Jess smiled ruefully up at him. “Ouch is right.” She pushed herself up on her elbows. Her head still ached very slightly, but it was nothing like before. “You were supposed to go to Orlando,” she said. “What happened?”
“The whole job’s been delayed,” Rob said. Beads of sweat had appeared on his upper lip, and he used the back of one hand to wipe it clean. “There’s some problem with the contract, I don’t know exactly what. I’m on hold for a while. It could be weeks or only a few days. For all I know, they could send me out to the site tomorrow.”
This was insane. They were sitting here, both of them barely dressed, having a conversation that seemed on the surface to be extremely normal, almost mundane. But undercurrents of emotion and attraction and danger were flying around the room. Jess would have given nearly anything to be able to reach out and touch Rob’s shoulder with her hand, to feel his smooth skin and hard muscles under her palm. She wanted him to pull her into his arms and kiss her….
“Do you…” Rob stopped himself.
“What?” she asked.
“May I ask you a personal question?”
Jess nodded, caught in the intensity of his gaze. She couldn’t begin to imagine what he was going to ask her. She could only hope.
“Do you have enough money to cover the cost of the repair?” Rob asked. “You know, for the air conditioner?”
Not the question she was hoping for. A combination of disappointment and pride made her lift her chin. “I’ll handle it.” It wasn’t a lie. Somehow she would handle it. She’d pay in installments, or get an advance on her credit card.
Rob nodded, seeing right through her. “How about if I lend you the money? I’ve got a lot saved, and…well, you can take your time paying me back.”
Jess felt a lump forming in her throat and the sting of tears in her eyes. It wasn’t so much his offer that touched her—it was the fact that he had offered her a loan rather than a gift. Rob had money. She knew that. Five hundred dollars was nothing to him, a mere drop in the bucket. But he hadn’t just blithely suggested he foot the bill. And in doing that, he had given her a gift—a gift of her pride.
“Thank you,” she said softly. “I’ll take you up on that offer.”
It was the tears in Jess’s eyes that did him in. Rob had managed to keep his distance up to this point by she
er force of will, but now it was clear he was fighting a losing battle.
He stood up. “I should go.”
“Please don’t.” Her voice was low, her gentle southern accent a caress.
Rob could feel her eyes on his back, feel her watching him. If he turned around, if he looked into the midnight darkness of those beautiful eyes, he would be lost.
He stayed absolutely still, willing the waves of desire and need that were washing over him to subside. Desire, he could handle. Need, he could tame. But it was this other feeling—this hope that could destroy him. Hope that maybe he was wrong. That he could start something with Jess, something open-ended and permanent, something “happily ever after.” Hope that somehow everything screwed up in his life would straighten itself out so that he could love this woman the way he so desperately wanted to.
Not a chance. There was not a chance in hell that any of that would happen. And if he started hoping, all he was doing was setting himself up to crash and burn.
He’d been living this life, this lie, long enough to know that there was no chance.
There was only bleak reality stretching on forever into the future, like two mirrors, each reflecting the other’s desolation, creating an endless corridor of nothingness.
And, God, he wanted so badly to escape from that—even just for a little while.
“Don’t go,” Jess whispered again, and he knew that all he had to do was turn around. She wanted him to stay, to hold her, to make love to her. All he had to do was turn around, and he’d have his escape—at least temporarily.
“Oh, Jess,” he said. “I wish…”
“What?” Her voice was breathless. “What do you wish?”
He turned around.
She was sitting on her bed, her long, slender legs gracefully arranged in front of her, her eyes wide and dark. Her hair was tousled from sleep, and the candlelight played across her beautiful face, giving her smooth skin a golden glow.
He was lost.
It took only two steps to bring him back to the bed, to her side. Holding her gaze, drowning in the darkness of her eyes, Rob sat down on the bed next to her.
“I wish…” he said, “this.”
He pulled her into his arms and he kissed her, his lips feverishly seeking hers.
The night erupted in an explosion of heat as Jess hungrily opened her mouth to him. Yes, yes, this was what she wanted— Rob in her arms, in her heart. In her bed. She leaned back, pulling him down with her onto the bed.
His tongue swept inside her mouth, claiming her, even as his knees parted her legs. She clung to him, kissing him harder, running her hands down the smooth skin of his back as their legs intertwined. She could feel his muscular thighs through his pants, pushing against her. She heard him groan as she pressed her hips up to him.
She could feel his arousal, and she rubbed her body against him. He groaned again, and his hands swept underneath her T-shirt, exploring the smooth bareness of her skin, finding the softness of her breasts. His mouth left a fiery trail of kisses down her neck to the soft spot at the base of her throat, and she put her head back, welcoming him, wanting more.
“Stop me, Jess” he whispered, his breath hot against her neck. “Stop me now.”
“I don’t want you to stop.” She reached for the waistband of his pants, and her fingers fumbled with the button.
He pulled back. “This is crazy—”
She looped her arms around his neck, not letting him go. “No,” she said. “It’s crazy to pretend this thing between us doesn’t exist. That’s what’s crazy.”
His eyes were hot, his breathing ragged. He kissed her again, hard and demanding, as if he couldn’t bear to be apart from her for even a few seconds. And when he stopped, it was as if he had to tear himself away.
“I want to make love to you,” he said hoarsely, “but I can’t make you any promises.”
“I don’t expect any promises,” Jess told him. She reached up and touched the side of his face, willing him to believe her. “Why can’t we just see where this goes?”
His eyes were intense, his mouth tight. “What if it goes nowhere?” he asked.
Rob kissed her again, drawn by the sweet temptation of her mouth, mere inches from his. He felt her fingers in his hair as she angled her head, granting him easier access. He pulled back with a groan half born of frustration, half of anger at himself. When it came to this woman, he was so weak. “What if we only have tonight?” he continued, determined to make her understand, determined to give her a chance to end this craziness now. “What if you wake up tomorrow to find me gone?”
“I don’t care.”
Rob could see from her eyes that she didn’t believe him. She was saying the words, but he knew her better than that. She did care. She would care.
“Jess, I can’t give you what you want. The only thing I can give you is…pain.” He closed his eyes, seeing blood, all that blood. Covering him, warm and sticky… God forbid it should ever come to that. He couldn’t let it go that far. He wouldn’t…
She kissed him—featherlight, gentle kisses on his face, on his mouth, and he opened his eyes to look at her.
She smiled, but her smile was so sad. “Love me tonight,” she said softly. “We can worry about tomorrow when it comes. Please?”
There was such longing, such need in her eyes. She wanted him as desperately as he wanted her. And maybe, just maybe, she needed him now, tonight, to help chase away some demons of her own.
“Stay with me,” she said, her eyes as dark and mysterious as the midnight sky, and full of her own secrets. “Just for tonight.”
What loneliness had she suffered? What emptiness had she known? God, he knew all about being lonely. He knew that feeling, that hollowness in his chest, that burning ache that wouldn’t go away.
He couldn’t give her the promises she deserved, but he could make the loneliness disappear for just one night.
“Please don’t go,” she breathed.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered, and then he kissed her, lowering them both back on the bed.
He meant to take his time, to take it slowly, to make it last a lifetime—each kiss, each touch, each sigh. But the sensation of her body, so soft and pliant underneath his made his blood roar through his veins. He kissed her hard, harder, and his hands found the edge of her T-shirt and yanked it up.
She pulled free from their kiss long enough to help him draw her shirt up and over her head. Her body was beautiful—her breasts full, her nipples dark and taut with her desire. His rush of pleasure at the sight of her was so intense, Rob knew without a doubt that despite her begging him to stay, despite all his rationalizations, he was not here tonight for her. He was here for himself, for his pleasure. He was the one who needed his loneliness eased for an hour or two. What Jess needed was a man who could really love her.
But the sensation of her smooth, silky skin against his chest was overpowering. She kissed him then, a hard, fierce, demanding kiss that sucked all thought from him, leaving only their need and a wild, burning urgency to become one.
Jess was spinning.
It had been so long. It had been years since she had felt a lover’s touch. Not that she hadn’t had plenty of opportunities. Men had wanted to date her, to sleep with her, but she hadn’t been interested. She hadn’t realized it at the time, but she’d been waiting. Waiting for someone special. Waiting for Rob.
Now he was here, and Jess knew it had been well worth the wait.
Never in her life had she felt so desired, so needed. Never had she felt such an answering passion. His hands swept almost roughly down her body, kneading her softness, pulling her closer, even closer to him.
He slid one hand between their bodies, covering her, cupping her most intimately. Jess pressed herself against his fingers, and he quickly dipped his hand beneath the cotton of her panties. His touch was gentle now as he explored her softness and heat. Now it was Jess who wanted more.
She reached to pull down
her panties, and quickly kicked them free. He pulled back slightly, his eyes sweeping the length of her naked body as he still touched her, harder now, deeper. When he met her eyes, he smiled, a hot, fierce smile at the pleasure she knew he could see on her face.
Dear heaven, she wanted him. All of him. “Do you have protection?” she asked, her voice breathless and husky.
“Yes.”
She reached for him, and when she had trouble unbuttoning his pants, he helped her. He kicked off his shoes and his pants as he fell back onto the bed with her. His mouth latched onto the hard bud of one nipple, and she clenched her teeth, stifling a loud cry of pleasure that seemed to rip through her. His muscular body was hard against her, their legs intertwined, his hands exploring every part of her. She pulled at the waistband of his shorts, wanting nothing between them.
She felt something hard against his ankle, and as he pushed himself away from her to pull off his socks and shorts, she heard a clatter on the wooden floor. But she forgot it instantly as she heard the tearing of paper as he opened a condom that he had gotten, from where? His wallet, she guessed. His hot eyes raked her in the dim light as he sheathed himself. He came back to her then, and covered her with his body. Deeply, endlessly, he kissed her, and she felt herself melt.
It was at that moment, in a flash of understanding that seemed to illuminate the candlelit dimness of the room, Jess realized something with great clarity. She was falling in love with this man. He was still so full of mysteries, so private, even secretive. There were so many things she didn’t know about him, so many unanswered questions. But that didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except the fact that somehow, somewhere down the line, this thing that had started as friendship and attraction was turning into love.
Jess arched her hips up to him, aching for all of him. He touched her, kissed her, stroked her, carrying her to new heights of sensation, and just when she didn’t think she could bear to wait any longer, just when she drew in a ragged breath to beg him to take her, he thrust into her.
No Ordinary Man Page 8
