by Maren Smith
“He’s not coming, Nick.” With nothing to do now but wait for first responders, the surge of guilt turned into tidal waves, crashing down on her, crushing her. “We have to go back. I have to help him.”
“T, look at me.” He took her face again. “Champ is the most determined animal on the planet, he’s more determined than most people. We cannot go back up there.”
Just because he was right didn’t make it any easier to accept. “But…”
“There is nothing we can do, do you understand me?”
Tears flooded her eyes and poured down her face. Stupid Castle. Stupid Assignment. Stupid Assassin. Stupid Bomb. Her entire life had been in a state of upheaval since they had been dragged into the captain’s office Wednesday morning, and now, to top it all off, her worst nightmare was coming true. She was losing not one, but both of her beloved partners. Nick, because she was going to move on, and Champ because he’d been killed in the explosion.
The thought was too much for her to bear, and it only got worse a half second later when a shadow of movement in the smoke above sent hope soaring through her. But it was Chris, his face a reflection of whatever tragedy had occurred on the roof, not Champ who materialized to come staggering down the stairs towards them. Hope crashed into despair. Shoving away from Nick, she covered her face with her hands and ran.
Chapter 16
Nick wanted to chase after Terri but Marshall had stopped him. They were bomb squad and a bomb had just gone off. He had to suffer through debriefings, personnel checks, and combed through the third-floor rubble as much as they would allow him to, but by then, the place was crawling with law enforcement, medics and Masters, and Champ was still nowhere to be found.
Terri was safe. He had gotten her out of the line of danger, and there was no possible way she could have gone back to the third floor unnoticed. That was what he kept telling himself, but he knew the knot in his chest wouldn’t fully dissipate until he found her safe and sound. He drew a deep breath and exhaustion filled his body as he pushed open the door to their room, sending up a silent prayer that she would be there.
She was. Standing in the middle of the room over their open suitcases, various jars and toiletry bottles in her hands, she looked lost and broken.
“Terri, thank God,” he breathed, crossing to her with two gigantic strides.
“Nick,” she wailed, dropping the bottles she was holding into the nearest suitcase.
He took her face in between his hands, and leaned down, kissing her soundly, trying to ignore the lingering feeling of finality when she clung to him, kissing back.
When she finally let go, he surveyed the room. For having packed so lightly, the place was a disaster, and he realized he was seeing the remnants of an epic shit fit.
Bending at the waist, he picked up a lamp that had previously resided on the bedside table and inspected it for damage, aware of her eyes on him, watching for a reaction.
“Trashing the room is quite naughty.” He spoke softly, his voice full of compassion as he restored the lamp to its rightful location once he concluded that it was none the worse for wear.
“I broke a glass,” Terri admitted, listlessly. “I imagine they will just charge it to the room. I’ll pay, of course.”
“I’ll pay,” Nick corrected gently. “Right after I take the bill out of your ass.”
The timing, of course, was all wrong, but that was why she needed it, and when he opened his arms, Nick knew he was right when, her breath catching and her face crumpling, Terri flung herself into them.
“It’s my fault,” she sobbed.
“No—” he countered but, with her face buried against his chest, she covered her ears with both hands, refusing to hear him.
He hugged her hard and close, so close that they didn’t even feel like two separate people anymore. If he could have found Champ… If he could somehow have saved her from this hurt, God, he’d have done it. He’d have found a way. But, he couldn’t, and in the absence of that, Nick turned to the only thing he could think of that made sense.
A good spanking could be an enormous source of stress relief when conducted correctly, and certainly nothing relieved a submissive’s guilt faster. But more than that, he was being selfish. His initial promise to her was on replay in his brain, and he could see the writing on the wall. The end was near. He had pushed her too hard and taken too much, and soon he would lose her forever.
Pulling her along behind him, he sat on the edge of the bed. When he offered his hand she took it without a word. Her eyes told him everything he needed to know as he guided her over his lap, flipped up her skirt, and pulled down her panties.
This spanking was different from the start. He didn’t hit hard, using the length of his fingers instead of his entire hand.
Her ass was already a myriad of multi-colored bruises, and he would normally be inclined to veer away from spanking someone who was already so bruised. He would find other methods of punishment, but this was not a punishment, and they both needed the intimate contact and stress relief a spanking could provide
He spanked slow and gentle, hitting just hard enough to leave a sting that had her squirming against his hand, and pushing her butt up to meet him.
The movement gave him a glimmer of hope, but one glance around the trashed room reminded him that she was acting out of despair. As she had reminded him many times over the course of the weekend, just because he was a Dom, that didn’t make her a submissive. And he got it; he understood why it was so hard for her to give up that control, and why it felt to her like she was going backwards against everything that she had worked so hard for in her life.
But when she was with him like this, a silent partner in a dance of submission and domination, he couldn’t help but get caught up in the moment, to convince himself that what they had was real. Terri was his, and he had always known it. It was exactly why he had never shown his true self to her, and why he had held back. Losing her would break them both, but just as much as he knew that was true, he knew he had to be himself, and that she wouldn’t let him be less, even if it meant they couldn’t be together.
Pushing the thoughts aside, he forced himself to be present in the moment. Terri was squirming on his lap, her breasts rubbing against his cock through the thin fabric of his trousers, and sad though all of it was, it was also poignantly erotic.
He stopped spanking and, finding the v between her legs, used his hand to force her thighs apart to make room for him. He teased her with one finger, delighted to find that she was wet and ready for him. Pushing past the soft folds, he entered her with two fingers, caressing her core with pressure and urgency that had her hips gyrating with each movement he made. It became a frenzied dance between them, and soon she had rolled onto her back atop his lap, parting her legs wide to give him the full access he needed. He answered by withdrawing his fingers and giving her pussy a firm slap that had her purring and shuddering at the same time.
“I love to spank this naughty little kitty,” he whispered. “But I love to fuck it even more.”
She pulled herself into a sitting position on his lap and, through watery tears, managed a mischievous smile as she straddled him.
“That’s nice. There’s just one problem. I still have pants on.” Grabbing her hips, he stood, and without letting go of her, dropped his pants and boxer briefs to the floor. When they sat again, she was perched atop his cock. “Much better.”
He leaned in to take her in a kiss, but she got there first, claiming his lips in a kiss that was greedy and filled with need. Their lovemaking reached a frantic pace as they let go of all the stress and uncertainty the morning had brought. For a brief moment, none of it mattered, and it was just them, and the beautiful harmony of their bodies in sync. They even came in unison, collapsing backwards onto the bed as they shuddered out their orgasms.
When it was all over, they lay side by side, upside down across the bed, smiling, panting and covered in a thin sheen of sweat. Bliss.
; But, sadly, the kind of bliss that didn’t last. He saw the change in her face the moment she remembered and winced as the pain came again, fresh and anew.
“Nick,” she cried, clinging to him.
“I know, shhh, I know.”
“I forgot I’m mad at you.” She pouted. A fresh wave of tears fell from her eyes, rolling down her cheeks and coming to rest on his bare chest.
“I’d do anything to change what happened. I spent hours looking for him, Terri, as soon as they would let me. I thought if I could find him, no matter how broken, and bring him back to you, maybe just maybe you would be able to forgive me for everything I’ve done here, and give me a chance. I know what I said, I know I talked a big game, like I didn’t care what happened after this weekend, and I thought what I said was true, I really did. But the minute that bomb went off, I knew I was a bold-faced liar. The moments before I got to you and the ones when I couldn’t see you were the scariest in my life, and I’m sorry I didn’t let you go after him, but I was terrified of losing you. When it comes down to it, we’re just cops, and we can’t do our jobs without Champ. When we couldn’t find him, I had no idea what kind of situation we were looking at, or if it was safe to send you in there to search for him. We lost a great partner today, but I can’t lose another one. That being said, I will stay true to my word. If you want nothing more to do with me, I will ask to be reassigned as soon as we return to duty, but, Terri, I love you.”
Her heart thumped hard in her chest. Tucked into Nick’s warm embrace, listening to him say everything she had spent years praying to hear, she was almost able to forget that things had changed. But they had. And she had the bruises on her ass to prove it.
“I should have never agreed with you that night, T. The night we broke up.” As Nick kept talking, the ball of dread in her stomach grew. “I should have worked harder to figure things out. I should have pushed for what I wanted and followed my instincts.”
“Wh-what did you want?” She knew the answer, but she needed to hear him say it. She ached to hear the words. Truth was, she would give anything to go back to that night and take back every word she’d said too. Having him agree with her had sucked.
“You, T. I want you. Not only as my partner and my best friend, I want you to be my everything.” He rolled onto his side, rising up on one strong arm—the arm he used to spank her with. “Fuck, T. I can’t imagine my life without you in it. Today taught me that.”
“But being your everything includes being your submissive,” she reminded both him and herself.
“I want to say I’d be happy giving it up for you, T, but I don’t know if I can promise that. This is a part of me. It’s who I am.”
She sighed and nodded, already expecting something like that. “I know, Nick. And with the exception of that part, I feel like you just said everything I have waited years for you to say. But,” she paused, shaking her head as if to clear it, “but, it’s been a hell of a week. I’m tired, and I’m confused, and I’m devastated, and I don’t know what to do. I can’t give you any kind of answer and know that it’s the right one.”
Nick sighed. “Yeah, I know, Ter, I’m sorry.”
She rolled onto her side, propping herself up with an elbow, and implored him with her eyes. “It’s Champ, Nick. I know it’s silly, but until I see for myself that he’s gone, I’m never going to be able to accept it. And if I can’t accept it, it’s going to take over my brain, and I’m not going to be able to focus on anything. Can we go look one more time?”
“The third-floor access is cordoned off, Terri. All the employees have been displaced into empty rooms and local hotels, and Marshall’s wife is in labor with his baby. I don’t think we could get up there if we wanted to.”
Tears filled her eyes again, and she laid her head on his chest. He tightened his arm around her and pulled her close.
“Maybe tomorrow. I know we can probably leave soon, but I don’t think I can without checking for myself one last time.”
“We’ll make sure we do, T, I promise.”
She closed her eyes and pursed her lips together, fighting off the barrage of questions and emotions threatening to overwhelm her. This day had just been too much. Her eyes were heavy, her heart was broken, and exhaustion was taking over, whether it was from the amazing sex they had just had, or the physical stress of the morning. All she knew was it was time to sleep.
It was dark outside when a loud and incessant knock on the door jarred her from a sound sleep. She sat up with a start and shook Nick awake, whispering loudly in the dark room. “Are we expecting someone?”
“Room service!” a voice called through the door.
“I didn’t order anything. I was asleep.” Nick’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. Jumping off the bed, he threw his pants back on and grabbed his weapon from its hiding spot under the bed. Holding it at his side, he stalked toward the door on high alert.
Terri lurked behind him for backup, wearing only the plain white undershirt that was part of his uniform. Her heart was in her stomach as he pulled the door open. Was it the assassin? Had he survived the explosion too?
The sight beyond the door had her dropping to her knees in shock. There stood Master Marshall, dressed in his usual black leather attire with white button down shirt. The shirt was wrinkled, half-unbuttoned, and smudged with God only knew what, but despite everything, he wore a shit eating grin on his face. Her first thought was that Kaylee had had her baby and that he was so overcome with joy he was going door-to-door, announcing it through the Castle like any proud papa would.
And then Nick moved out of the way, and she saw the bundle in his arms. Bandaged, sedated, and covered in soot and debris, but alive. Champ perked when he saw her too, lifting his head and giving a weak bark.
“Oh my God! Champ!”
Marshall grinned and carried him into the room, brushing past her to carefully deposit the dog onto the oversized bed he had provided.
As soon as he laid Champ down, Terri all but fell into his arms, weeping and hugging him, as she muttered incoherent questions into his shirt. “How? Where? What?”
He stood there helplessly, occasionally, patting her shoulder half-heartedly until Nick peeled her off of him. “I just got back from the hospital and found him wandering the second floor hallway. I checked him out, and bandaged a cut on his leg, but that’s about all I could do for him. I’ve called for a vet, and they should be here shortly.”
“Thank you!”
“No.” Marshall stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. “Thank you. You guys are the real heroes. I was happy to help. But now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a lot of cleanup to organize if I don’t want to get stuck doing it myself.”
Terri turned her attention to Champ, watching out of the corner of her eye as Nick walked Marshall out, slapping his back in congratulations.
When the man was gone, Nick closed the door behind him, leaned against it, and grinned. “You were saying? About not being able to make decisions until you knew what had happened to Champ?”
“Geez, Nick.” Terri rolled her eyes, not bothering to look up from the dog she was currently fussing over. “Eager much?”
He pushed off the door, shrugging and smiling as he sauntered toward her. “Just a little. When a Dom sees what he wants, T, he goes after it. And what I want is you.”
He knelt beside her and she gave a long-suffering sigh, laying her head on his shoulder. “But that’s the problem, Nick. I don’t know if I can do that, be the sub to your Dom, I mean. I want to say yes and be with you more than you will ever know, but I just can’t bring myself to commit to that decision.”
Nick’s face hardened, and he tucked an errant lock of hair behind her ear before gently brushing her cheek with his fingertips. “You don’t like to make decisions, brat. You like having them made for you. That’s one thing I’ve learned this week. You don’t want to be a doormat, but there are some times when you enjoy having the pressure of decision making taken from you, especially
when it comes to submitting to your Dom. You’d rather be forced into it and to believe that you don’t have a choice in the matter.”
Her breath hitched in her chest as she listened to the words he spoke, finding a glimmer of truth in them. She had enjoyed submitting to Nick, when she thought she had no other choice. Once the ball was back in her court, she faltered, big time.
She still couldn’t admit that. She would never be able to say the words he needed to hear. He deserved more.
“Last time it was all on the line, brat, we lost everything. We were both at fault, I’m not placing blame, but if you can’t make the choice, I’m going to make it for you.”
He took her hand. Her tongue darted between her lips, a nervous tic as she waited to see what he would say.
“You’re mine, T. You always have been. And I know you think you can’t submit, and you’re not a submissive, and that being so will somehow screw up everything you have worked for, but it won’t, not with me. I love you for how strong you are in the workplace, and I love you for how weak I can make you in the bedroom. There is no decision to be made here. You belong to me and denying something that is so obviously true and evident will earn you a harsh punishment. If you won’t come to me willingly, I will claim you as mine, because I know you are. More importantly, you know it too.”
The pressure in her chest eased, and her breathing calmed. Her heartbeat restored to normal and just when she thought she might be able to respond, Nick stood and walked away, returning with the same shiny black leather collar she had worn on Friday.
“You are mine,” he commanded, fastening it around her neck.
She gasped, and her hand flew up to caress the thin strip of leather.
“There is only one answer, T. One answer that will make you mine.”
She could have still walked away. She knew it, and by the look on Nick’s face, he did too. But as he had said, only one answer would make her his. She opened her mouth to speak and Champ barked, giving his doggie seal of approval.
