by R.J. Adams
Three
I feel a bright light over me but my eyes are closed, like someone is shining a torch right over my eyelids, what the hell is that. Disturbed from my sleep, I open my eyes and jump back. There in-front of me is a bright light floating above me. It’s flickering, like a tiny fairy light you would see in a kid’s story, it’s so pretty.
I look over at the wall, the clock show’s it’s just before 3am. The children around me are all fast asleep yet this light shines so brightly. How has it not woken them, it flutters in-front of my eyes and moves in circles as if trying to get my complete attention.
Am I dreaming? I close my eyes tightly and pinch myself, jump at the sharp pain and then open my eyes, no I am not sleeping, I’m definitely awake and now I have a red mark on my arm. This light moves away and then comes back to me, it goes to the door and floats, is it telling me to follow it? I have no idea what it is or how it even got in here, and if I’m not dreaming, which it appears that I am not, then how can I see a floating white light? It doesn’t seem to want to harm me in any way otherwise I’m sure it would have done so by now, it could have done so while I was sleeping soundly. But what if I follow it and then it harms me? It floats back to me and then moves away fast as if telling me to hurry up.
Curious and cautious at the same time, I climb out of bed to follow the strange glowing light. I cannot see where I am going or where it is leading me, this light is so captivating that I’m following it oblivious of its intentions.
It leads me outside, out of the confines of the orphanage and down into the woods. I hate the woods, the woods terrify me, and ever since I was a little girl I have had nightmares of these woods and something or someone chasing me. It always happens here as if something dark and terrifying lurks beyond the trees.
I pause for a moment and look back as I realise I have wondered outside of the orphanage and its grounds. The light whizz’s around me, it seems to be encouraging me to go deeper into the woods, something I have never done. Not whilst I have been awake anyway!
With the light guiding me, I head deep into the woods where it leads me to a clearing. I look up at the stars gently twinkling in the dark moonlit sky. It’s peaceful, quiet and I do not feel fear at all.
The strange ball of light heads into the air and stops, as I watch it above me, it starts to form into something else, a shape is forming and I see it starts to become a person. A woman suddenly floats before me, her hair is long and black and her dress is as red as blood and yet she is surrounded by that lovely white light. I’ve seen this woman before; I have seen her in my dreams, am I sure I’m not dreaming right now? I scuff my feet across the debris below me, twigs and dirt brush against my feet, I feel it, I’m definitely awake, I must be to feel it so close to my skin, can you feel that stuff in your dreams?
“There you are Willow,” she smiles at me, her voice sounds almost faded away, “don’t worry; I’m not going to harm you.”
She says that as she floats above me and I’m meant to believe her? A floating person who doesn’t look real says they are not going to harm me? “Who are you?”
“Do you not recognise me? For years I have wandered your dreams, shadowed you from the darkness that follows and tried to make sure it does not tempt you, but I can no longer filter in your dreams, I’m afraid time is running out.”
I have no idea what she is on about, “time is running out for what? I don’t know who you are,” she may seem familiar to me but I have no idea who she is, she’s just a person I dream about sometimes.
She grins at me, “why, I am your mother, I would have thought you would recognise me, I’m so sorry I have to come to you like this but I’m afraid there isn’t time to be easy on you, the darkness is coming and it is coming for you.”
My mother, the woman I have been dreaming about is my fucking mother, is this real? Surely this cannot be real, nightmares and visions are possibly just the result of my crazy mind but a floating woman claiming to be my mother? She isn’t shying away though is she, no mother-daughter bonding time, just straight into ‘I’ve run out of time,’ and darkness.
“I thought you were safe here, I thought they would never find you, just haunt your dreams until you gave yourself up, but they have found and you need to leave.”
Leave? “I can’t leave here, I have nowhere else to go, and you left me abandoned here? Why did you leave me?” I shout up to her.
“There is a man living in a cottage on the edges of the city, his name is Alfie and he is expecting you. Go to him and he will look after you, please Willow, you do not have much time. The answers you seek you will find.”
She’s not giving me much to go on is she, just telling me to leave. Can I just leave now? Is that what she wants me to do? What about Ruby, Doreen and the others? And how does she know I have questions, I have had questions all my life about who I am, my strange dreams, my scary visions but I have been stuck in the orphanage, never met anyone except people who have come to pick up new children, my life is here. I cannot just go can I? “But I can’t just leave, I need to stay here, they need me. Ruby she.... she needs me.” I think out loud.
She lowers herself and floats directly in-front of me, she looks fearful, “the little one is not what she appears to be, your mind will show you things that are not real, you need to go now before anyone else is put in danger.”
Am I putting these people in danger? I hear the rustling of the leaves as the wind begins to howl through the trees. The woods become creepy and dark and the stars above begin to disappear. The woman, this woman claiming to be my mother looks terrified.
“What’s happening?” I ask her looking around as that feeling that something bad is around is back in the pit of my stomach.
“He knows you are here, he can sense you and he can sense me, please do as I say, go to Alfie, he is expecting you. The address is in your locket.” And with those words she is gone and I am all alone in the cold eerie woods.
What locket? I have never owned a single piece of jewellery in my entire life. What the hell am I caught up in and why has she disappeared? My head is spinning, so many words and yet so little information in such a short space of time.
A strange darkness creeps through the woods, it’s unnatural and chilling. I slowly step back but I feel it getting closer. Scared, I turn and run back to the orphanage as fast as I can, I have on no shoes the stones, sticks and whatever is on the ground is scratching on my feet, but I ignore the pain.
I feel whatever it is getting closer to me, I pick up pace and see the gates of the orphanage. As I reach them I feel like something is trying to pull me backwards, I look and nothing is touching me but the darkness is getting closer. Barging through the orphanage gates, I run straight up to the door which is now suddenly locked. Who the hell locked it? This door is never locked, I fiddle with the door knob but it’s not budging.
I look behind me as the darkness creeps over the gates to the orphanage grounds, like thick black clouds making its way towards me, I bang as loud as I can as I see the darkness getting closer, it’s coming for me, “open the door,” I scream. “Please, open the fucking door!”
I hear the lock twist and the door opens, I fall in onto the floor just as the darkness reaches me, it grabs me at the ankle but I wriggle it free and I slam the door shut.
“What the hell, Willow, are you alright?” Doreen asks helping me up from the floor.
“Yes, no, I don’t know.” Did she see what I saw or did she just see a frightened girl on the doorstep. “Did you....” I freeze not knowing whether to ask her. I don’t ask, after everything I have seen tonight I’m starting to question my own sanity, if I ask her then she will probably question me too. “I’m sorry I woke you, I should go to bed now,” I mumble walking away.
“Willow,” she calls out making me turn to face her, “there is so much I.....” she pauses and looks at me, does she have something to tell me? “I feel you are leaving sooner than expected and all this will no longer be.”
That wasn’t what I was expecting her to say, “I didn’t realise I had to leave so suddenly, what makes you think that I am?”
“You don’t have to leave but I know you are. There are strange things that have been happening and I know you seek answers from your past, here come with me, I have something to show you.” She takes my hand and leads me to her bedroom. I look at her bed, where she has slept is obvious but Henry’s side is still neat and tidy as if never disturbed. It’s dark and damp as if the curtains have not been opened in a long time, I don’t remember the last time I was in here.
She kneels down and pulls out an old wooden box covered in dust and hidden under so much crap. When she blows on it, I see the symbol on the box, it’s the same symbol that is burnt or tattooed onto my palm and the same symbol I saw on the dark figure that tried to reach out and grab me.
“What is this?” I ask her sitting down on the floor beside her.
“This is the box that came with you on the day you arrived.” She opens it up and hands me a long silver shiny locket, “I was told to give this to you when you turned eighteen, here.”
I take it from her, she was told? How can she be told, I thought I was abandoned? “Why are you giving this to me now? I’m not eighteen, not for another month,” I find it strange she hands it to me now after what just happened in the woods.
“Because I don’t think you can wait any longer, sometimes your mind will let you have what you need to, and you need this because your mind knows you need it. I swore to protect you and I can no longer do that, I shouldn’t be here, things are not what they seem Willow, your mind will do things to you, the darkness is near. Remember this, the darkness will always try and pull you in, but you are stronger and you are a good person, you must learn to resist.”
I look at her slightly baffled by her choice of words, “I’m sorry, I don’t understand, none of this makes sense to me. How do you know about the darkness, why do you have this box and who gave you this locket?”
“The answers you seek you will find. I’m sorry I cannot be of anymore help to you,” she pushes me out of her bedroom and places the box in my hand, she seems terrified. I have never seen her like this before. “You must go now,” and with that she slams the bedroom door in my face.
“What the fuck was that,” I whisper to myself. I have never seen her act so strange, and the weird part is she gave me all of this after I apparently seen my mother. Something isn’t adding up here, it’s like everything in my head is turned to mush and I cannot make sense of anything. She clearly knows more than she is letting on but it seems she is too afraid to tell me, why would she suddenly bring this up? I never told anyone about my nightmares or the darkness, I have always wondered where I come from and why I have this strange mark on the palm of my hand. I have seen it on the strange figure that comes after me and now on this box; does it have something to do with my family? Is it possibly my family crest or something?
I walk away shocked she has just slammed the door on my face, is she afraid of me? Or afraid of what is after me? I head into the bedroom and pick up some clothes, being as I have been told to leave I’m at least going to put on something on other than my pyjamas. I go to the bathroom as I do not want to disturb the sleeping children.
I head over firstly and kiss Ruby on the head; she sleeps so peacefully and barely makes a sound, sometimes I poke her just to check she is still breathing.
Why would the floating woman, well, my mother, tell me she isn’t what she seems? I see a small innocent child with burn scars on her back in need of loving care, what else is there to see?
Stood alone in the bathroom as I am fully dressed, I try and piece together in my own mind everything that has happened tonight, but then I get a strange feeling comes over me and I suddenly feel scared, has the darkness got in? Is it about to take me? I turn and there in the door way is Ruby, “Jesus Ruby you scared me, are you alright?”
“I couldn’t sleep, I heard banging and it scared me,” she mumbles sleepily.
“Aww I’m sorry sweetheart,” I walk towards her and scoop her up into my arms, “I didn’t mean to wake you, come on; I will take you back to bed.” I walk into the bedroom and place her on the bed, she climbs in and I cover her with the blanket.
“Did you have another nightmare?” She asks me.
“Sort of sweetheart, just a really bad dream and I woke up is all,” I don’t to scare her and tell her the things I saw, she’s five years old!
She stares at me as if contemplating her next words, “Are you leaving?” She asks me her face expressionless.
“Why would you ask that?”
“You were with Doreen; I heard her telling you that you had to go and you don’t have your pyjama’s on anymore.”
Very observant isn’t she, although how did she hear what Doreen said to me when she was asleep? “Yes, I’m afraid I have to, but don’t worry it’s just my time to go from here, venture out into the world and make a life for myself,” what am I meant to tell a five year old? I have to leave because something sinister is after me and a floating woman told me so? I don’t think I can tell anyone that let alone a five year old, “you will be okay, the other girls are staying so you won’t be alone and if you’re still here when I am settled I will come back for you.” Not that anyone will come and take her; no-one has collected in a child in so long I lost count after five years when no-one came.
“There’s no need to come back for me,” she smiles, “you will never be far from where I need you. I will find you, we will all find you.”
Her voice sounds different all of a sudden and her coldness towards me is unnerving. This is not like her; normally she is the most loving little girl. She has gone from a sleepy child who seems worried and caring to a cold creepy one.
“Ruby you’re scaring me.” I move closer to her and look into her eyes; her eyes seem dark when normally they are a sky shade of blue, “who will find me, do you know someone who is looking for me?” Why would I ask that? As if she is going to know.
“You will see, I am what you imagined me to be and I will never be far away from you, don’t worry Willow, I am always going to be where you need me to be, those who seek you will find you, it is your destiny.”
I slowly get off the bed and step away from her. She sits up and is as stiff as a board staring at me. “Ruby, you need to go back to sleep now okay,” I move further back, “I will come back and check on you when I am sorted.”
“Don’t worry Willow, I won’t be here when you get back, I will be where I belong and soon you will be too, goodnight Willow, I will see you soon,” she smirks at me and lies down to get back off to sleep.
I have been around Ruby for a very long time and never in that time has she displayed this strange creepy behaviour. I grab my things and go to head out of the door.
I knock on Doreen’s bedroom door, “Dor, you in there,” I knock again, “look I’m leaving now but I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye.” She has always been the mother figure in my life, I understand things have become difficult and she and I have since had a lot of downs, the orphanage has been neglected as have the children, her husband died and finances are extremely tight, but I still have a deep love for her, after-all, she is the only mother I ever knew. I cannot just walk out of the door and not check on her, that isn’t who I am.
“Doreen,” I knock again, “please come and say goodbye, I don’t want to leave with us on an argument, I want to know that you and I are okay and you know, one day I can come back and we can hang out or something, please? Doreen?” I press my ear against the door but I hear nothing.
Surely my knocking would be annoying her, or has she passed out so drunk that she cannot hear me? Feeling snoopy, I open the door, “Doreen,” I call out but again I hear nothing. I walk into the bedroom and it’s completely silent. She isn’t on her bed where I thought she would be and I didn’t hear her come out of her room.
This is unusual, she is always he
re, I don’t come in here but if she is nowhere else in the building we all assume she has retired to her bedroom. And if she leaves the room or walks around then she is not the quietest person, I feel unsettled, I walk over the wall and switch the light on. To my horror I see Doreen hanging from the ceiling by rope.
I let out a terrifying scream only to look at the doorway and see Ruby stood there. She begins to cackle and point at me, who the hell is she? What have they done to her?
Frightened and without thinking, I head straight out the front door, run through the gates and keep running until I am as far away from the orphanage as possible.
