But I reckon she should of shut up while she still had her pretty face or kicked him out 'fore he wrecked it. For sure she'd have her front tooth, and she probably wouldn't have to be in that jail, going to that courthouse with those chains on her ankles that they roped up to her waist. I probably might still be there, too—with Carolee, down at the creek, swinging on that rope, just running and playing, making up a batch of them mud cookies. But knowing Ray, I guess he wouldn't of stayed kicked out anyway. He was as big as he was mean. He did what he wanted. Somebody bigger and stronger than my mama would of had to stop him.
I prayed Melvin would, but he didn't. Guess he couldn't, Ray being the older brother and all, out a' respect or something.
Then they got their own place, Melvin and Lexie. By the time Ray started in on me, they weren't around to see it. I wondered if Melvin would of stopped him then. Mostly I wondered if Lexie would of made Melvin stop him. I thought about it every time Ray got hold of me. I cried about it when he busted my eardrum and it hurt so bad and Mama poured warm oil in it and pushed a plug of cotton in to keep it there. I hated the feeling of that stuff as it trickled into my head. Mama said to stay out of his way and to run and hide when he got the liquor out, which didn't make no sense. I'da been hiding all the time I wasn't in school 'cause he got hisself fired and weren't working no more.
Most of that bad stuff didn't start 'til after MeeMaw died. She got the flu, the kind that come all the way from China. I was eight. She died in her sleep out on the porch. 'Neumonia. I hated that porch from then on. It weren't nothing but a mud room leading to the back step, anyway, but it was her spot and she wouldn't hear of giving it up. I knew it was too cold out there. Mama knew, too, and fussed at her all the time about it. That was one thing about my ma. She loved MeeMaw as much as I did. She loved MeeMaw the way I wanted her to love me.
Melvin and Lexie coming was about the best thing that ever happened to me and the worst thing, too. Carolee said that was a paradox. She's real smart. Read it to me right out of a book, It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.
Melvin, he was looking for work at the Scottsdale Cotton Mill clear over in Decatur. Heard they was hiring and drove over from Birmingham after Lexie's mama died. He found work straightaway and they found a temporary place to stay with us, MeeMaw saying it was our Christian duty to look out for those that needed a helping hand.
Things was about perfect, too, 'til Ray got word the mill was hiring and he showed up. Mama fell for him right off. The first thing I noticed 'bout Ray was he picked his nose and had bad breath. Mama must not of cared, her being so lonely. Ray didn't cotton to church none, talked hisself a filthy mouth MeeMaw said, and she run him off. Told Melvin right out how it was.
"You and Lexie is welcome to stay a piece, 'til you git settled," she said, "but that no-count brother a' yours is not welcome to put another foot on my doorstep."
"Yes, ma'am," Melvin said. He was real respectful to my meemaw, he was.
"He's a lost soul, that one, ma'am," Melvin said, and he shook his head from side to side real sad like.
"Amen," MeeMaw whispered back, and she nodded her head real sad like, too.
"Reckon we should pray for him right now, ma'am?"
"Glory be," MeeMaw answered.
And Melvin, he led us in prayer. MeeMaw bowed her head and closed her eyes. Melvin winked at me and Lexie and then he said a prayer as good as any preacher.
MeeMaw liked Melvin. She liked Lexie all right, too, I guess, but prayed real funny when Lexie was around.
"Sweet, merciful Jesus," she said once when Lexie was all fixed up nice for church. And another time, Lexie wore the prettiest yellow sundress that scooped down in the front and jiggled when she moved and MeeMaw said, "Mercy! Lord a' mercy!" She shook her head and looked up at the ceiling like it was heaven itself.
"God help us all," she said. Stuff like that. We was only going to a picnic and I thought Lexie looked real nice. All the men did, too. She was the center of attention that day. Just beautiful. They musta couldn't believe how good that yellow dress went with her red hair 'cause their eyes followed her wherever she went that day, 'til they drunk too much whiskey and couldn't follow their own feet and some of them fell down even. MeeMaw prayed for them, too.
Lexie had a special way with people, 'specially men and most 'specially Melvin.
"Melvin, honey, reach on down in yore pocket, sugar, and give your sweetie all you got," she said, and he did. He give her all the money he dug out of his jeans.
"Gosh, is he always this nice?" I asked.
"Pretty much."
"And you always get what you want?" I said, not understanding. Mama never got nothing from Ray but trouble.
"Uh-huh," she said and smiled this itsy-bitsy smile where just the corners of her mouth turned up and her eyes twinkled like Christmas.
"How come?"
"It's a secret, sugar."
"Oh, tell me, please, please!" I begged, thinking I could pass it on to my mama so's Ray'd be nice to her, too.
"Well, sweetie, I get what I want," she said and turned and whispered in my good ear, "'cause I got what he wants."
"Oh…" I said nice like, but I was plumb disappointed. Mama didn't much have what Ray wanted, I guess. He just wanted that bottle and he wanted those young girls he met down at the tavern. I heard her yell that at him one morning when they was fighting over where he'd been all night.
"Go on now," Lexie said. "Fix yourself up real pretty, baby girl. We're going shoppin', too." Lexie was getting herself a set and style most every week now. One time she even got herself one a' them permanent waves, which stunk real bad at first. Before shopping we headed to the Cut 'n' Style. Lexie picked out a different color for Wanda to use on her hair. Wanda had these little ponytails for Lexie to pick from, looked like they come off the back end of itty-bitty horses. She pointed to one with some gold in it.
"See, honey, in't it pretty?" she asked me.
"Uh-huh."
"Now, don't be tellin' peoples I dye my hair, Lori Jean, hear?" she said. "There's a few things a proper girl keeps to herself. Her hair color and her bust size is two of 'em."
That sounded reasonable to me and I decided I'd keep those things to myself for sure. It weren't hard since I wasn't planning on changing the color of my hair. It was near black and Carolee said it was hair sent by the angels. Hers was blonde. And keeping my bust size secret weren't no problem, neither, being I didn't have none yet. But I decided when I got me some, I wouldn't tell anyone what size they was 'cause I wanted to be just like Lexie, excepting for my hair. I couldn't see changing it, mine being sent from the angels themselves and all.
Lexie tried on dress after dress that day. She settled on a pink sundress with little baby straps and she bought me one, too. She did! She honest to golly did. I liked to 'bout died of excitement right on the spot. It was white with a crocheted collar. It had these tiny flowers peppered all over it with lace all around the hem. Said I looked like a princess. I don't know about that, but I sure felt like one. I never wanted to take it off. I woulda slept in that dress, but I was afraid I'd get it all wrinkled and ruin it 'fore Sunday. After church the next day we went to the fair. MeeMaw made Lexie put a sweater on over her shoulders 'cause of the straps on her dress being thin as spaghetti.
"Missy," she said, "I got enough faith to move mountains, so I don't have enough left to count on those straps holdin' up melons the size a' Georgia!"
"Oh my, my," Lexie said. She acted real surprised to hear words like that come out of MeeMaw. I weren't too surprised. MeeMaw had more'n one side to her. I heard her curse once even, when Maybelle Hawkins's grandson stole Rosie, her roosting hen.
"Lewis Hawkins, you run off with my hen!"
"Did not."
"You did!"
"No ma'am."
"You little shit! I seen you with my own two eyes," she said and chased him clear down the road, dust flying in all directions. Caught him, too. About wrung his neck the way
he must of wrung Rosie's. He and Chester Britt roasted that chicken over a fire down by the creek and ate it. I saw 'em. I never did tell, though, it being her favorite hen and all.
MeeMaw was plumb full of wisdom. She had a lot of 'pinions, too, and she passed them on whenever they come to her.
"Missy, the Lord didn't put those bosoms there to test the strong and tempt the weak," she said to Lexie one morning 'fore we left for church.
"'Course he didn't," Lexie said.
"Then tuck 'em back in 'fore some fool grabs 'em!" MeeMaw said. Lexie did like she was told, no questions asked.
After church, at the fair, we run into Maybelle Hawkins.
"Lexie Ann!" Maybelle run over to hug her. "Why it's been ten years if it's been a day!"
Lexie hugged her back, but she didn't look none too happy to see her. I could tell.
"You sweet thang. Don't you look good, now," Maybelle said.
She kind a' looked like a hawk 'cause of her nose. And she had a real fat body with funny little bird legs, too. I felt sorry for her and hoped people wouldn't laugh 'cause that'd be real mean, but truth be known, I was having trouble not laughing at her a little myself.
"How long's it been—how old are you now?" Maybelle asked. Her voice was big as she was and she talked real loud.
Lexie said it certainly had been a long time and it'd be nice to chat, but we had to get going.
"Lori Jean hasn't even rode the merry-go-round yet and here we got us two tickets left," Lexie said and grabbed my arm.
I thought we'd used the last ones on the funhouse, which weren't even much fun, so I was real happy finding out we had us two more, but in truth we didn't.
"Lori Jean, when you're grown," Lexie told me when we left, "don't ever tell your age! A woman who'll tell her age will tell anything.
"Another thing, stay clear a' that woman. Maybelle Hawkins will do you more harm than a hurricane that hits in the night—and don't you forget it."
Turned out she was right. But I did forget. On my tenth birthday, I shared a secret with Maybelle after she coaxed me. When she called the law, I remembered what Lexie said. By then it was too late. That's when all our lives changed—and I don't mean for the better.
Chapter Three
When a girl got a daddy who's run off and a mama beat up and hurtin', there ain't a lot of happy times, but the summer Lexie Ann found out she and Melvin was having a baby sure was one of them. She went to this doctor and he give her this test with a rabbit and it showed she was having a baby for sure. She was real glad. Only thing, that poor little rabbit, it died. That was real sad.
"See, honey, if the rabbit lives, that means I'm not pregnant. So don't you be sad now, hear?" Lexie told me. "They got a whole bunch of rabbits, sugar. They's just doin' their part is all, okay?"
I told her it was, but it really wasn't. After that, every time I seen a lady fixing to have a baby, I thought about those little rabbits. Maybe they was doing their part and all, but who asked 'em if they wanted to anyway? Seems like them smart doctors could come up with a better way to tell someone they was having a baby than killing a cute little rabbit, hopping around, minding his own business.
I decided I wasn't ever having me a baby 'til they found another way. I wasn't in any hurry to make one when I growed up anyway. That day Carolee told me how a lady and a man made one, it didn't sound like much fun to me nohow. Carolee said it was. Said her sister Connie Dee did it with her boyfriend in the hayloft on Friday night when their ma and pa was at the church revival. They caught her watching and give her a quarter to hush up. And Carolee said her cousin Millie Anne done it once, too, with a fella never called her again and she liked it real fine. Still, I don't know…seemed right peculiar to me, girl parts and boy parts plumb joined up. I sure couldn't imagine Melvin and Lexie doing something like that. Still, they was having a baby—but what other choice did they have anyway? They probably wanted one so bad they done what they had to, then just put it out of their minds. I'm pretty sure of that 'cause they's real nice folks, they is, go to church regular like and everything, they sure do.
When we got back from the doctor's, Lexie told Melvin straightaway about the baby.
"Heeeeeehaaaaa!" Melvin was dancing Lexie all around in a circle, 'til she got herself all dizzy.
"Melvin, I'm gonna have this baby six months sooner than it's time if you don't stop that!" Lexie said and she sunk right down against him.
"Oh, baby girl, baby girl," he said to me. "We're gonna have ourselves a little baby. What'd you think about that?"
"Oh, that's about the next best thing to Christmas, I reckon," I said. "Better even."
Mama come in the room and sat down on the sofa. She looked kinda poorly. Her eye was swollen on one side. She had her hair hung over the front of it, but I could still tell. That's what she always done when she was trying to hide it. She weren't eating much again, so she was real thin and she was a pretty thin mama to start with, so that weren't good.
Ray, he was staying out all night. Twice this week I knowed of, so they was fussing at each other. I sure hoped she'd leave him be 'fore he hurt her again real bad. Why'd she care if he stayed out all night anyway? I was hoping he'd stay out all year. Suit me fine.
"Mama, Lexie's havin' herself a baby. Now ain't that nice?" I asked her.
"Babies cost money—that part ain't nice. The rest's okay, I guess," she said.
Mama looked so sad I run over to give her a hug. I sat down next to her and just patted her shoulder.
"Don't be sad, Mama. We're gonna have a little baby round here to love."
"Babies is real sweet," she said.
"MeeMaw always said babies is gifts from the angels, 'member?" I told her and just kept patting her, wanting her to be happy like us, about anything even. Just happy.
"Yes, babies is real sweet," Mama said, and she patted me back. Then she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "And you're real sweet, too, Lori Jean." It was the nicest thing my mama ever said to me. After that, whenever I'd get sad, I'd think to when Mama told me that and 'fore long I'd forget all about being sorrowful.
Come winter, MeeMaw wasn't around to sew some pretty clothes for Lexie to wear. Her belly was getting bigger every week now. So she bought herself some fabric and a dress pattern, and we hauled out MeeMaw's old sewing machine and got to work.
"Baby girl, I'm gonna lay out this here material on the floor, see?" Lexie said. "Then I want you to pin the pattern pieces here to the fabric for me, okay?"
Lexie couldn't bend over hardly a'tall, so I pinned them pieces down the way I remembered MeeMaw doing it. We was making a dress with long sleeves and a bow in front, kinda like a sailor dress or something.
"Okay, sugar, now just cut all around them pieces," Lexie said, and handed me MeeMaw's pinking shears. They was real peculiarlooking, like regular scissors 'cept they had these jagged teeth all around the edges.
"These pieces sure enough don't look like anything that would fit a body part, Lexie," I said.
"Well, honey, that's 'cause we gotta fold them over and sew 'em together. Then it's gonna look like this, see?" She held up the front of the envelope the pattern come in. A lady with yellow hair was wearing the dress, showing how it would look, only hers was dark brown. Ours was red-and-navy plaid with some green and black in it. We bought that 'cause it was on sale. Fifty-nine cents a yard and the lady at the sewing place said it was a real bargain. Only we forgot to tell her we was beginners. Maybe then she would of told us it wan't such a bargain.
Lexie sewed all the pieces together. She was real excited and I was kinda, but not too much 'cause I thought it still looked funny, but I didn't want Lexie to know that 'cause she worked so hard on it. When she got it finished, she tried it on.
"How's it look?" she asked me.
"Um, it looks, um, it looks nice, I think," I said, but I was telling a big ol' lie. Truth be known, it looked mighty peculiar. The plaid lines in the fabric was going every which way. It plumb changed direction
every time it run into a different seam. Made my eyes go crossed just lookin' at it.
"Do I look okay?" Lexie asked.
"Well…" I was trying to say something good about it when Melvin come in. Lexie turned to him right off.
"Melvin, honey, what do you think a' my dress? All I gotta do is hem up the bottom." Lexie swirled around so he could get a good look.
"Honey, that dress belongs on a kilt somewhere in Scotland. Where'd you get that crazy thing?" Melvin said.
Lexie started crying right off. She was doing a lot of that lately. Her hormone things was goin' haywire, Mama said. She said it happened to her, too, when I was growing in her belly.
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