by MJ Carnal
By two in the morning, Lily was done. She had met the most amazing people and had danced until blisters had formed on her feet. Champagne was a curious thing. One never knew what would happen after several glasses. She had lost Damien by midnight. She spotted him once, making out with a brunette at a table near the dance floor. She knew he was hurt and she had been the cause. But seeing him kissing someone, just hours after their talk in the limo, stung a little. Checking her watch, she realized it was too late to feel safe in a cab. She pulled her cell from her clutch and dialed.
“Lil?” Steve’s voice was sleepy.
“I’m so sorry to wake you up. I didn’t know who else to call. I’m stuck at this party and I just want to come home.”
Her voice was a little slurred. Steve reached for his shoes. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Lily did one last sweep of the room in an effort to find Damien and say goodnight. To her surprise, he was nowhere to be found. She said goodnight to his band and headed out the front door. The night had been perfect. The awards show was a once in a lifetime opportunity and sitting with the ‘next big thing’ had been exciting. She had spent a good portion of the night sitting with the other members of Liquid Regret and had an instant connection with the wife of the lead guitarist. Harley and his wife, Della, had only been married for a year and as the band prepared itself for the first tour, Della was their biggest cheerleader. She liked them all and was sad that she wasn’t going to be spending more time with them.
“Hey gorgeous. Need a ride?” Steve’s voice broke into her thoughts.
She smiled at him. He was the sexiest man she had ever seen. His gray t-shirt molded to his chest, hugging every muscle. She was suddenly jealous of his shirt. She wanted to be wrapped around him. His Red Sox baseball cap sat low on his forehead, hiding his jet black hair. All he had done was drive up and roll his window down to look at her and she was having a hell of a time trying to catch her breath. She couldn’t help but stare a minute longer as his smile widened.
“You coming or did you want to sit on that bench the rest of the night?”
She opened the car door and sunk into the soft leather seats. The car smelled just like him. There was always comfort being in his car. “Thank you for picking me up. I’d had enough.”
“Mr. Rock and Roll didn’t want to take you back to penthouse? Stupid man.” Steve chuckled.
“He might already be there.” Lily watched the lights of the city fade into the background.
“He left you there?” Steve was staring at her now.
She just shrugged. “I don’t know. Last time I saw him, he was tongue deep in some brunette. I will say, he looks good in pink lipstick though. It’s his color.”
“I’ll kill him.” Steve growled.
Lily smiled and put her hand on his leg. His body stiffened. “It’s ok. It’s not the right time for us. He’s a good guy, Steve. Don’t be mad at him. It was me.”
She shivered as she closed her eyes and curled into his shoulder. Before long, her breathing changed and Steve knew she was sleep. Her delicate curves begged to be touched but he focused on the road. Why couldn’t he stay away from her? In the morning, he would tell her what he was feeling. He was confused and scared and his head was all over the place. But breathing was difficult without her and that had to mean something.
Pulling up to the apartment complex, Steve parked his Corvette Stingray in his parking space and smiled. When he sold the house, he had blown some money on something just for him. The car was his baby and a constant reminder that life was still good. He’d wanted a Corvette as long as he could remember. He had taken Lily to help him pick something out. The way her eyes lit up when she saw the 2014 white master of machinery had solidified his decision to buy it. She looked amazing in his car.
“Angel, we’re home.” Steve brushed the hair out of her face but she didn’t stir. “Wake up, baby.”
He got out of the car and pulled her from the front seat. He carried her up to their apartment. She sighed and hugged his neck. Once inside, he threw his keys on the counter and headed down the hall to his room. He wanted her to be near him. He couldn’t stomach the thought of another night without her.
“Can you wake up for me, beauty? I don’t want you to sleep in this dress.”
Lily moaned and sat up, her eyes welded shut in an attempt not to wake up. Steve unzipped the side of the dress and pulled it over her head. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t keep his eyes from roaming her body. She made his heart race.
“Whoops, don’t lie down. Let me grab something for you to wear to bed.” Steve laughed when she grunted. Her eyes were still closed and he wasn’t convinced she was actually awake. He pulled his shirt over her neck and helped her get her arms untangled. He smiled. “I need to talk to you in the morning. I’ll let you sleep tonight.”
He tucked her under the covers. When he tried to step away, she grabbed his hand. “Stay with me.”
Chapter 14
Lily tried to move her legs and couldn’t. She was pinned and it was hot. She tried to throw the covers off but they wouldn’t budge. Her eyes snapped open in a moment of panic. She followed the arm across her chest, up to the broad shoulder, past the crazy mop of black hair and locked on to the most mesmerizing brown eyes she had ever seen.
“Good morning.” Steve smiled and her breath hitched. “How’d you sleep?”
“I don’t even remember coming home. I must have been in a coma.” She looked around the room and realized she wasn’t in her bed. She thought back to the party. She had only had three glasses of champagne so she couldn’t have passed out. She looked down at the shirt she was wearing and then back at Steve.
He laughed. “Don’t worry. Nothing happened. You were sound asleep and I brought you in here because it was closer.” The lie rolled off his tongue too easily. He needed to finally tell her what he was feeling.
“I’m glad you’re here.” She snuggled into his chest and sighed. He was home for her. Going back to Georgia was going to be the hardest thing she had ever done. Staying here would only delay the inevitable. Her heart was going to break if she continued to fall harder for him. He had been very clear before she left to go stay with Kevin and Andi. It was time to tell him what was happening. She closed her eyes tightly. Like ripping off a Band-Aid. She tried to convince herself but even she wasn’t falling for that. “I need to tell you something.”
Steve rubbed her back and she relaxed into him. “I’m all ears.”
“A couple weeks ago I applied for a new job.” She drew circles on his stomach with her finger. His muscles rippled under her touch. “I am totally unqualified for it so I never thought I even had a chance. They called me two days ago and offered me the position. It’s an amazing opportunity for me. I’d be teaching special education classes and I’ve wanted to do that as long as I can remember. It still doesn’t feel real.”
Steve hugged her closer. The excitement was obvious in his voice. “Lil, that’s amazing news. I’m so proud of you. When do you start that?”
Her eyes filled with tears, the drops landing against his chest. “I start the first Monday in August. The pay is double what I’m making now and the retirement benefits are unbelievable. It would be a brand new start. I’m terrified and excited at the same time. And, I miss home like crazy.”
Steve’s hand stopped moving. He took a deep breath when he noticed his chest was wet. Fear made him shiver as he realized she was crying. “Where’s the job, Lil?”
“The University of Georgia.”
Steve sat up, heartbreak written all over his face. He placed his hands on the side of her face, wiping her tears with his thumbs. “Why?”
“It’s the right time. I’m homesick; I miss my family so much. I don’t love my job here. I don’t feel like I make any difference here.” She covered his hands with hers.
“You make a difference to me.” He whispered.
She closed her eyes as her heart shattered. “I know.�
�� She whispered. “But if I don’t leave now, it will just get harder. I want so much more and it hurts. Not just me, I hurt Damien. I have to go.”
“Baby, please look at me.” Steve begged.
“Please don’t make this harder. Leaving you is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” She wiped her face and shook her head. “This is home for you. You have a job that you love. Your friends are awesome. Kevin has Andi and he’s finally settled. Sophie found Mark and Layla found Ryan. I adore Jena and Caleb. But it doesn’t feel like home for me. I came out here to be in Sophie’s wedding and absolutely fell in love with the life she had. I got to meet Kevin and watch him fall in love with Andi and I am so thankful for that. And through it all, I met you. You are everything, Steve.”
“I can’t believe you’re leaving.” Steve’s voice cracked.
“We just need to make the best of the next few days.” She tried to smile.
“What do you mean days? You aren’t starting for three months.”
“I’m flying home Friday. I’ll pay rent until you find a roommate.”
“Jesus.” Steve stood up and paced. “I don’t give a shit about that. I could buy this whole fucking apartment complex if I wanted to. I don’t want your money, Lil. I want you.”
“You’ll still have me. We can talk on the phone and we’ll see each other. We’ll video chat. It’ll be like I never left.” She knew it wasn’t true but she didn’t want to hurt him anymore than she already had.
“How can you say that? I don’t know what I’m going to do without you. I know I’m being selfish Lil, but you’re why my life is full. You’re why I smile and laugh every day. You make me believe shit is possible again. I don’t want you to go.” He ran his hands through his hair. He knew he was being unreasonable but for the first time since Amber, he felt like he could let someone in. She was walking out of his life and he was losing someone else that mattered.
“I feel the same way about you. We will always be in each other’s lives.”
“Stay, Lil. Stay here with me. Give us a chance.” Steve knelt in front of her.
“What?” Lily’s eyes were wide.
“I want a chance. Don’t walk away now. I’m broken and I don’t trust easily. I’m fucked up when it comes to relationships. But you love me anyway. That deserves a chance.”
“Steve.” Lily cried for the second time. “I can’t just give you a chance because you’re afraid you’ll lose me. You won’t. We will always be in each other’s lives. Don’t do this. Please. It’s an amazing opportunity for me. Don’t make me feel guilty about it.”
Lily ran her hand down his face before standing to leave. She wanted to throw her arms around him and take the chance that she had been praying for. Part of her wanted to pretend that was real and he wasn’t just afraid to lose her. She’d never wanted a future with anyone but Steve. Every step she took reminded her that walking away was going to hurt. She didn’t want to be his by default. More than that, she never wanted him to resent her for making him choose her just so he wouldn’t be alone.
When his bedroom door clicked shut, Steve collapsed onto his bed. Tears flowed freely for the first time since he caught Amber. This felt so much worse. Was he just saying those things to make her stay? Was he that selfish? He hugged his pillow closer to his body. It was too late. She’d been right under his nose for all this time and he’d been too scared to realize how much she meant to him. Telling her now meant making her give up something she had dreamed about for so long. He couldn’t do that. If he truly loved her, he needed to let her chase her dreams. He would stay in touch with her and if it ever felt right, he would confess his feelings for her. Until then, he would fake a smile as he watched the person that meant more to him than anyone in the world walk away to find her future.
He pulled his phone from the nightstand. The way you inspire me. I love you more than you realize.
The week had been the fastest week in history. Steve had helped Lily pack up her classroom while she said goodbye to the kids that had changed her life. He had packed endless boxes of shoes and girly crap and sent them to her apartment in Georgia. The station had been great with the last minute time off request. Jennifer had stepped up and taken the bulk of the morning show despite all the sadness in her life. He’d taken Lily out to dinner every night. They’d spent countless hours together and it still didn’t feel like enough.
Now Steve sat on the couch in their living room watching her say goodbye to Kevin. It was heartbreaking to watch such a tough man break down with a goodbye. He knew exactly what he was feeling and it wasn’t easy to watch. Tomorrow they would all head to the airport to say goodbye. Ryan, with all his ass kissing skills, had gotten them clearance to say goodbye at the gate. He would be so thankful for that tomorrow as he watched her walk away. It was becoming hard to breathe.
“I’m gonna head out. I’ll see you tomorrow at the airport.” Damien squeezed Steve’s shoulder.
“Yeah, man. See you then.”
Steve watched Damien leave. The lucky bastard was going to be flying home with her. What were the odds that his summer tour started in Atlanta? Slim to none but it was happening and Damien would be sitting next to her on the cross country flight taking her to the next chapter in her life. He had debated asking to tag along but he wasn’t sure where they stood and didn’t want to be a witness to that. He was heartbroken enough.
Lily shut the door. The lock turning got Steve’s attention. She slid to the ground and covered her face with her hands. Her shoulders shook as she cried. Another piece of his heart was lost. He sat down across from her and pulled her into his lap. She buried her face in his neck.
“Saying goodbye to him was so hard. I don’t think I’ll be able to say bye to you. I didn’t know it would be this bad.”
He ran his hands through her hair. If he could shelter her from the pain, he knew he would. “It will be ok. I won’t let you fall apart. You’ll be back here in two months for a visit. And I’ll come out there for Labor Day.”
“Promise?” Her lip poked out and it was the cutest thing he had ever seen.
“I promise.” Steve chuckled. “Besides, your sister is so excited that you’re coming home. I’m sure your dad is already trying to figure out what excuses he’ll use to come by your place every night.”
This was going to kill him. If he lived through their goodbye, it would be a miracle. He had to find the strength to hold it together for her. He’d been so selfish when she told him she was leaving. He needed to make sure she knew that she was strong enough to take this next step. He wanted her to know that he would always be here for him, no matter what she had to tell him.
Steve’s mind wandered to what could be ahead for them. Would she meet someone at the university that she couldn’t live without? Would she run into an old flame from college that was teaching there and realize they had been good together? How would he react when she called to tell him that she had met someone and was getting married? Would he pray that he got hit by a bus or would he fly out to Georgia for their wedding and watch another man win the woman that held his heart? He wanted to believe that he would always do what was best for her but he wasn’t sure he could ever watch someone steal her heart.
“I think everything’s packed. We should probably get some sleep. It’ll be a long day tomorrow.” Steve stood up and offered his hand to help her.
“Ok.” She wiped her tears. “Can I sleep with you?”
Steve smiled. “Of course you can. That would probably do us both some good.”
Lily put her hand on his chest. Their eyes locked. “Will you hold me?”
“You never have to ask. There’s nothing I love more.” Steve took her hand and led her to his bedroom.
Chapter 15
Steve took extra care in tucking Lily in. He pulled the covers over her and tucked them around her body, cocooning her in his blanket. She giggled the whole time but he didn’t care. This was their last night together and he wanted to show h
er how special she was. He kissed the top of her head before turning off the lamp next to the bed. He stepped out of his shoes, dropped his jeans onto the floor and then crawled in next to her.
Her smell instantly surrounded him. It was tropical fruit heaven and he wanted a taste. In attempt to find her hand, his fingers brushed against her hip and she sighed. That sound filled his dreams. It was sensual and innocent mixed together and possibly the hottest sound on earth. His body responded instantly. He would miss the sexual torture that she didn’t realize she subjected him to on a daily basis.
Her fingers brushed his and he was home. As she rolled toward him, she ran her foot up the length of his calf then settled her leg inches from where he needed her. The simple act caused his breath to hitch. His entire body responded, hardening, longing to own her. Lily’s fingers ran over the muscles in his abdomen, up his pecs and finally across his bottom lip. His tongue flicked against her fingertip and that was all the encouragement she needed.
Lily rolled on top of Steve, straddling his waist. Her lips were less than an inch from his. Her silky hair fell loose around them, tickling his chest, igniting his blood even more. He felt her breath on his face. Her blue eyes locked onto his and he felt it in the depths of his heart. She licked his top lip, never breaking eye contact. His hands grasped her hips in an attempt to keep control of his body. Her tongue ran the length of his jaw before her teeth nipped at his earlobe.
“I need you inside me.” Her breathy whisper in his ear was enough to make him moan. “I want to make love to you.”
His body was trembling. “Fuck.” He gripped her hips tighter and rolled her onto her back. “If this is all we get, I want you to get lost in me all night.”
“Please don’t make me wait. I need you.” Lily pulled his shirt over his shoulders and sat up to give him an invitation to do the same.
He pulled her satin camisole top over her head, revealing her perfectly round breasts. Her pink buds straining, begging to be touched. His fingers ran up her rib cage and he cupped her breast. She bit her lip as he gently rolled her nipples between his thumb and index finger. She arched into him, whispering his name. She was perfection.
