by J. L. Paul
An hour later, Jake opened the door, his face a little pale. I sat straight up, the book I’d been trying to read falling to the floor.
“Are you okay?” I asked. “What happened?”
“Nothing, Iz,” he said, stripping to his boxers. He slid into bed beside me. “He just wanted to talk.”
“About what?” I asked, my curiosity and concern overwhelming.
Turning out the light on the table beside the bed, Jake rolled to his side, propping his head with his hand. “He wanted to talk about addiction.”
“Addiction?” I asked.
He nodded, brushing the hair out of my face. “Yes. He’s an addict, too, you know. He’s addicted to gambling. Just like drugs got me into trouble, gambling got him into trouble.”
“Wow,” I muttered. “I hadn’t thought of it like that.”
He dropped his head to the pillow, slipping an arm around my waist. “There are different forms of addiction. We just talked for awhile about it and how we’re working through it. He’s going to meetings, you know.”
“He is?” I asked.
“Yep. And they’ll help. They helped me.”
“Did it help both of you to talk tonight?” I asked.
“Yes. It sucks to be an addict – it’s a helpless feeling,” he explained. “It helps to talk to counselors and stuff, but when an addict sits down with another addict – be it a drug addict or a gambling addict or whatever – it’s totally different. They know – they’ve been there. They know how you feel.”
I scooted closer, realizing just how hard Jake and my grandfather had struggled. It wasn’t like they could just quit and be done – once that addiction had set in, it sank its claws inside and didn’t let go.
“I’m glad, then, that you two talked,” I said.
“Me, too,” Jake said. “He’s worried, too, about what your parents think of him. I urged him to sit down and talk to them once the weekend is over and everyone goes home.”
“Is he going to?” I asked, my heart wrenching for my poor grandfather.
“He said he would,” Jake said. “But it’s up to him to start the conversation.”
I closed my eyes, muttering a quick prayer for my healing family. Jake snuggled closer, tightening his hold on me.
“Iz?”
“Yes.”
He kissed my cheek. “I love your little niece. She’s adorable.”
“Yes, she is,” I agreed.
He continued to pepper my cheek with kisses. “You know, Ronnie has a kid, Seth has a kid, and now Matt and Greta will have a kid.”
I tensed. “What are you getting at?”
“Nothing,” he said. He kissed me again and then stilled, the air quiet around us. “Well, just, you know, that I want one.”
“Want what?” I asked.
“A kid.”
I sucked in a breath. “Jake.”
“Not now, of course,” he said. “But someday.”
I bit my lip. Yes, I wanted Jake’s child, but not now. I had to get my life figured out before I could bring a child into it.
But then, I hadn’t been exactly careful lately, either. When I’d left Brad’s, I hadn’t taken anything but my purse. The little pills I took every morning were still in the medicine cabinet in my bathroom. I just hadn’t gotten around to refilling them since I’d been at Jake’s.
And we hadn’t been angelic, either. The little physical break we’d taken hadn’t lasted long.
“No comment?” he asked.
I rolled to my side and kissed him. “I would like a child, too, but not right now. Let’s just get our lives settled first, huh?”
“Absolutely,” he said, rolling on top of me to pelt me with kisses, making me giggle. He placed one last, lingering kiss on my lips before returning to his side of the bed. “I love you, Iz.”
“I love you, too,” I whispered before closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.
Sixteen
The next few days passed in a blur. Once we returned to Jake’s, I began work on the flowerbeds only to be interrupted Monday by Jake announcing that he’d be leaving earlier than planned.
“What do you mean?” I asked, removing the dirty gardening gloves from my hands. I stood, swiping at my knees before facing him. “When are you leaving?”
“In the morning,” he said, wincing at the pained look that must have flitted across my face. “Sorry, Iz, but Rob had to move the shoot up a few days.”
Dropping my gardening spade into the dirt, I nodded. “I understand. You’ve got a job to do.”
He ran his hands up and down my arms. “Yeah, but I hate leaving you when we just got back together. You know, you can still come with me.”
“I know,” I said, biting my lip. I considered it for a moment and then remembered Cammy coming on Friday. “I think I’ll hang out here. Maybe, if you’re not back by the time Cammy leaves, I’ll come.”
“Okay,” he said, letting his hands fall to mine. He laced our fingers together. “I’ll be working a lot but you can shop or sit on the beach or something.”
Pulling a face, I wrested one hand free to place on his chest. “Yes, I know you will be. I remember how you get when working on a video. And it’s twice as bad when Rob Ross is involved. That’s why it’s probably a good reason why I stay home – you’d work twenty hours a day and I’d never see you.”
Snorting, he pressed a quick kiss to my lips. “Probably. I’ll tell you what – if we finish early, I’ll fly you out and we’ll spend a few days in LA. How’s that sound?”
“Great,” I said. “It’s a plan.”
I followed him into the house where I washed my hands in the powder room before joining him in the kitchen to make sandwiches. After eating our simple lunch on the deck, we went upstairs to pack Jake for his trip.
“I hate packing,” Jake said from the foot of the bed. He sat, remote control in hand, and watched as I gathered underwear and socks for his suitcase.
“I see that,” I grumbled as I crossed the room to the closet. “Best to just do it and get it done.”
“Yep,” he said, his eyes on a baseball game on TV. “Damn. That was so not a strike!”
“What shirts do you want?” I asked, flipping through the clothes in the closet.
“Just some t-shirts,” he mumbled. “Oh! Nice hit!”
Peering out of the closet, I raised a brow. “You don’t want something nice in case you, I don’t know, go to a nice restaurant or a dinner meeting or something?”
“Nah,” he said, scooting back onto the bed. “If I do need something, I’ll pick it up.”
Clucking my tongue, I left the closet in order to gather up t-shirts and jeans. “You know, you have a lot of clothes already, it’s a shame to buy something new just because.”
He shrugged. “I should get rid of some of that stuff. I don’t wear it. I’ll donate it to charity or something.”
“Good idea,” I said, dumping an armful of clothes on the bed. “Don’t overtax yourself packing.”
“Huh?” he asked, leaning forward as the batter smacked the ball to centerfield. “Drop, drop, drop. Ah damn. He crushed it.”
“Jake,” I said in a firm tone.
“Yeah?” he asked as the game went to a commercial. “What’s the problem?”
“Is this okay?”
He glanced at the pile of clothing, lifting a shoulder. “It’s fine, angel. Whatever. Hey, thanks for doing this for me.”
“You’re welcome,” I said as I neatly placed everything in the suitcase. Something inside of me wilted at the thought of Jake being gone, but I shook it off. I remembered years ago when he’d told me that if we couldn’t make it apart, we’d never make it together.
His arms snaked around my waist and my body instinctively pressed against him. “I’m going to miss you, Iz. But it’s only ten days.”
“I know,” I sighed. “It’s just that we’ve been together over a month, now, and I’m used to you being around. But, I suppose I should get
used to it.”
“Why is that?” he asked.
“Because you’ll be going on tour again, soon,” I said. “Or going out of town for appearances or video shoots.”
“Yeah,” he said, kissing the hollow at the base of my neck. “But you don’t always have to stay home. You can come with me.”
“I know,” I said, turning to wrap my arms around his neck. “But you know what the best part of you leaving and me staying here?”
“What’s that?” he asked, kissing below my ear and running his lips toward mine.
“Saying goodbye,” I said, pressing my mouth to his. “And saying hello.”
“I like how you think,” he said, sweeping me up in his arms and dropping me on the bed. “Let’s get to work on that goodbye right now.”
***
After Jake left the next morning, I wandered outside to the flat of impatiens and petunias waiting for me. The pretty purples and pinks did little to inspire me so I sat on a chair, staring at the ripples in the lake at the end of the dock. BK sat at the end of the wooden structure, watching the ducks glide across the water, possibly considering jumping in after them.
Sighing, I couldn’t summon the energy to get out of the chair. My mind was on Jake, probably flying overhead by now, and how I would get along without him.
“Stop, Isabella,” I groaned. “Since when have you ever needed a man around all the time to be happy?”
That comment dragged Brad to the forefront of my mind. Brad, who thought that, once he put a ring on my finger, I should be indebted to him. Brad, who thought that I was his inferior. Brad and his stupid interviews and appearances that painted my family in a bad light. Brad who thought that he’d won another battle.
My eyes widened as I recalled the horde of reporters in front of my parents’ house and the one familiar face.
“He hasn’t won,” I mumbled as I scrambled out of the chair, scraping it against the wood. BK turned at the noise and trotted after me as I raced into the house and to Jake’s office. I booted up Jake’s laptop and did a people search. It only took a moment to find what I was looking for and another moment to locate my phone.
She answered on the third ring.
“This is Karen Lange with the Central Indiana Report.”
“Hi, Karen,” I said, taking a deep breath before taking the plunge. “This is Isabella Ames. I was wondering if we could get together and talk.”
***
After my lunch date in a little town halfway between Jake’s house and my parents’ place, I returned to Jake’s feeling a little better. I wandered out to the deck with the dog, pleased that I’d taken a step in, what I hoped, was the right direction.
As I puttered around the yard, doing whatever I could to keep my mind off of Jake, I started to plan a girls’ night Saturday when Cammy would be here. Since Matt and Ronnie were also out of town, I decided to call Greta and Carly. Smiling, imagining how fun it would be, another person popped into my head. Peeling off my gloves, I stepped onto the deck and retrieved my phone from a table. After a quick search through my contacts, I found the number I was looking for and called it.
“Hello?”
“Jenny, hi. This is Isabella Ames.”
“Bella!” Jenny shrieked. “Oh, I am so glad you called. I wanted to call you a long time ago but Kevin told me to wait for you to call. He told me that you might need a little time.”
A smile found its way to my face, making we wish I wouldn’t have waited so long to get in touch with her. “I’m sorry I haven’t called before now.”
“That’s not important,” she said, hastily. “So, how are you? Is everything all right?”
“Yes, I’m fine. I’m staying with Jake and we’re working on our relationship,” I said. “Things with Brad weren’t…well, it wasn’t right.”
“I heard that you left him but no one was really sure why,” she said. “I had a feeling that he might have hurt you – I remembered the bruises on your arms – but I didn’t say anything.”
“I appreciate that,” I said. Enough of my life had been broadcast in public already.
“But he’s pissing me off,” she said, the bubbly tone in her voice instantly changing into something darker. “He’s running his mouth, telling people that you were cheating on him and that he caught you so you ran off to be with Jake.”
“I never cheated,” I said. “But you know that I did see Jake a few times.”
“I know.”
“And Brad found out thanks to the tabloids,” I said as I sank to a chair, BK lying at my feet. “We got into an argument and he hit me. I was intending on leaving anyway but when he hit me, I decided that there was no better time.”
“He hit you?” she asked, her voice growing higher.
“Yes, but I’m all right,” I said, trying to calm her. “I promise. I’m done with him and am where I’m supposed to be.”
“Oh, that man,” she fumed. “He’s such an idiot! He’s running around, telling lies about you when he was the one who hurt you.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “I don’t care what he says. I know the truth and so does everyone who matters to me.”
“Well, I wish you well,” she said. “And just let me know if you need anything.”
“Actually,” I said, cracking a smile. “I do. Some of my friends are going to be here Saturday night since Jake is out of town. I was thinking of a girls’ night – chick flicks, wine, fattening foods – the works. And I wanted to know if you’d like to come. You can crash here – I’m sure the other girls will, too.”
“Are you kidding?” she gasped. “I’d love to! I haven’t done much of anything since you left. I have met a few girls at the gym, but they are more of the wine tasting, theater type. I don’t mind that stuff once in awhile, but I like sports and music, too.”
“I know what you mean,” I said. “So, great. I’ll send you directions.”
After a few more minutes of chitchat, we ended the call. I immediately dialed Greta and invited her. She was all for it but informed me that Carly and the baby had gone to LA with Ronnie. Apparently, Carly had an ancient aunt in the LA area and she wanted to see the baby.
“That’s too bad,” I said. “I really was looking forward to getting to know her better.”
“You’ll have plenty of time, trust me,” Greta said. “I cannot believe Cammy will be here! I haven’t seen her in ages! I can’t wait.”
After making more definite plans with Greta, we hung up and I moseyed upstairs to the giant tub in the master bath. I soaked for awhile, nursing a glass of wine, missing Jake terribly. Although I was excited to spend an evening with my friends, I was kind of regretting not going with Jake.
With a sigh, I located my phone on the side of the tub and called him.
“Angel, how are you?” he asked.
“Fine,” I said. “Missing you, though.”
“I miss you, too,” he said. “It’s not too late to come out here.”
“I’ve been thinking about that,” I said, “but I’ve already made plans for Saturday night. Cammy, Greta, and Jenny are coming over for a girls’ night.”
“Oh, hell,” he said. “Do you think my house will still be standing when I get home?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I laughed.
“You jest,” he said, “but I know how you girls get.”
“I promise to keep it tame,” I said.
His laughter was like a warm, comforting blanket dropped around my shoulders. “Just have fun, Iz. I want you to enjoy yourself.”
“Okay,” I said. “How’s the video shoot?”
“Shit,” he sighed. “But, we’re getting there. We’ve worked out most of the kinks and should get it wrapped up soon, but Rob wants us to do another while we’re out here.”
“So, will you have them both done by next week?”
“Doubtful,” he said.
“Oh,” I said.
“I know,” he said. “But we should only be delayed a day or tw
o.”
“Okay.”
“Iz,” he said around a yawn. “It won’t be that bad, I promise. Remember how we used to do this all the time when you were in high school?”
I snorted. “Yeah, but it was torture then. It seems worse now.”
He chuckled. “I have to agree with you there. But at least you’ll be at my house when I get back and not in some dormitory at a boarding school.”
“Good point,” I said. “Tell me about the video.”
We talked for about an hour – long enough for my water to cool and my skin to prune. We ended the conversation and I climbed out the tub, padding into the bedroom to retrieve one of Jake’s t-shirts from the drawer. Once I was dressed, I headed to the bed, pausing for a second as my head grew light. I stumbled to the bed, resting a palm on the foot until the feeling passed. Shaking my head, I crawled up the bed and burrowed under the sheets, waving the lightheadedness off on stress, too much wine, and a long time in the tub. Before I knew it, I was asleep.
***
Standing on my toes, I craned my neck, looking for a familiar face. The airport was packed, of course, with families awaiting loved ones, businessmen looking for connecting flights, and young people, browsing their cell phones as they waited for the for the luggage carousel to start.
Finally, after fifteen minutes, I spotted Cammy pushing her way through the crowd, carryon slung over her shoulder. Her hair was cut into a cute bob, but that was the only difference I could spot. She was still lean and athletic, still beautiful, and still somewhat dreamy.
“Bella!” she shouted as she wrapped her arms around my neck, nearly crushing me. “Oh, it’s been far too long!”
“I know,” I said, sucking in oxygen when she finally released me. “I’m so glad you’re here!”
“Well,” she said with such an achingly familiar smile, “I might be here longer than the weekend.”
“Really? Great! You can stay with us. I’m sure Jake won’t mind,” I said, linking my arm through hers as we went in search of her bags. “Nick’s already living in the guest room.”
