Nora laughed. “I don’t know. I blame Cassie. It was her idea.” Was Cassie the blonde? “It sounded fun at the time, but now I’m sweating and my hair is messed up and we only rode it four blocks over from the restaurant.” She straightened the tiara on her head that proclaimed she was a bride to be, and then ran her fingers through her long black hair. “It’s a good thing I’m not looking for a man tonight,” she winked at my brother who gave her a dark look.
“You better not be.”
Her smile stretched wide across her face. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
We pushed inside the bar. The girls had claimed a table on one side and the guys the other. James and the blonde were standing between the two groups, talking closely. Obviously they knew each other. I watched him set his hand intimately on her arm and decided they more than knew each other.
That was too damn bad.
For me anyway. He already lost Nora to my brother; probably wouldn’t take kindly to me slipping in and trying to steal this one. Her eyes darted toward us as we made our way inside. They fell on me only for a second before she tore them away, but then she did something that had me suppressing a smirk. Out of the corner of her eye, she snuck another glance. And she knew I’d caught her.
James might want to hold onto her a little tighter.
My brother and Nora only separated when another of her friends came to drag her away to their table. This one was cute as shit too. Golden complexion, dark hair and eyes, a little on the short side, but lots of curves to go around. She flashed me a grin as she slipped away with Nora in tow.
Could be fun, but my gaze, almost as if pulled by a magnet, was drawn once more to the blonde, still huddled close to James.
Forget it, I told myself and went to sit down at the table with my brother. James joined us a second later, an unfriendly look on his face. Directed at me. Seemed he was an observant guy.
I ignored him; I wasn’t in the habit of fighting over chicks.
Drinks came and we were in perfect view of one of the big ass TVs above the bar. ESPN was on and the conversation turned toward sports. Didn’t stop my pathetic brother from continuously sneaking glances at his girl, despite the ribbing he received for it.
Despite my best efforts, and telling myself she was taken, I couldn’t stop my own wandering eyes from going to the blonde friend every few minutes. She sat beside Nora, her profile to me. After spending longer than I cared to admit observing the girl, I decided she must be the quiet friend in the group. Either that or she wasn’t having as good a time as the rest of them. Occasionally her eyes flitted over here, but she was always quick to look away when she found my gaze on her.
I couldn’t even say what it was about her that had me so damn enthralled. She wasn’t the only beautiful girl in the place, but there was something about this one.
“Oh no,” my brother leaned in, “I know that look. This time I’m going to have to ask you not to pursue it.”
I lifted my beer glass to my lips and met his stern frown. “I don’t know what you mean,” I brushed him off but he wasn’t buying it.
“The hell you don’t. I can see where your eyes keep going, and I’m not the only one.” He gave a subtle nod toward James, who, when I looked, was glaring at me.
“He’s got nothing to worry about,” I tipped my beer to my lips and pretended to suddenly be engrossed in what the sportscasters were saying on TV, but I could still feel Spencer’s hard gaze. I turned my head back to him. “What exactly is it you think I’m going to do?”
“Nothing. You’re not going to do a damn thing. Not only is she a friend of Nora’s, but that’s Emily.”
“Emily?” It took me a second, but I set my glass down as realization sunk in. “Oh.”
My eyes drifted back to the girls, my interest doubly piqued. So, that was Nora’s best friend and roommate who’d been held captive for over a month by the psychopath who terrorized Western Washington last year.
Emily Raynes, her full name came to me.
Raynes.
Shit, James’ sister. Well that explained all the glaring.
I didn’t know all the details, but I knew enough to know she’d survived hell and my brother had been the one to rescue her and Nora. The sadistic asshole who’d taken Emily and then Nora was behind bars now. He wouldn’t be tasting freedom again. Sick bastard deserved the needle. Or a firing squad.
I’d seen a lot of shit on the job, but the details from the news and then the ones that weren’t even on the news that I got from my brother, were bad. Shit made even me sick.
Killed something like ten people, including his foster family when he was younger. Dude was obsessed with Nora from childhood when they shared a foster home for a while. Posed as her friend for close to a year while he was raping and strangling girls in the area that looked like her.
He abducted Emily last January. Even over here it was all over the news for months. I stole another glance at her, trying to recall more of the details, but it made my blood boil even thinking about it.
I looked back at my brother. “Message received.”
“Good. It’s nothing against you. I just know you. You’re not ready for what she needs and the last thing she needs is any more shit. She’s been through enough.”
“I know. I got it.” But something about what he said prickled at me. He was right, I wasn’t ready for anything that girl needed. But maybe I was tired of my same old shit. I finished the beer in front of me and tried to go about the rest of the night pretending like Emily didn’t exist, and like I didn’t want to turn and see if she was having a good time, or finally smiling. I was going to do what my brother asked and leave her alone.
Then the girls went and screwed up all my good intentions.
The moms and the rest of the over-forty crowd said their goodbyes, leaving the remainder of the night to the younger ladies, who decided to come crash our table.
Nora pulled a stool up between Spence and me, snuggling up to his side. “Do you mind if we join you guys?”
Oh hell, there wasn’t a moron alive that would mind when she was flashing those dimples and batting those damn eyelashes.
“Not at all,” my brother told her, setting his hand on her thigh.
I wouldn’t have minded either, honestly, except that Emily took a seat between the short, sassy one who turned out to be Cassie, and her brother, putting her on the opposite side of the table from me and well within my view.
Now that she was so damn close, my eyes were drawn to her even more. I found myself noticing every little thing. Like that even though drinks were continually being set in front of her, she hardly drank a drop. She’d lift the glass to her lips a few times, mostly when she was uncomfortable any time attention turned to her, but then she’d casually slide the drinks to Cassie. I’m not even sure Cassie realized how many of Emily’s drinks she finished.
She rarely joined in the conversations, content to be an observer, but she’d force herself to smile and laugh in the right places. I knew it was forced because it never touched her eyes. In fact, the entire evening felt forced with her. I didn’t know how many times I saw her glance at her phone, my guess checking the clock as she never appeared to be doing anything else on there.
She was stiff and closed off and used Cassie and her brother like a security blanket. I’d accept that she was just shy, except now that I knew who she was, I recognized that look in her eye. It wasn’t shyness. It was haunted.
I almost wished I didn’t know, didn’t understand it. Made it all so much worse, because then my pull to her became about more than simple attraction.
The protector in me was coming out, and even knowing she was off limits, I couldn’t shut that shit down. It was a weakness with the men in my family. Show us a pretty damsel in distress and we were done. Five generations of cops on my dad’s side. It was practically in our DNA.
Even Spence, who’d chosen a different route than law enforcement, wasn’t immune. He still had to play the hero and
had clearly fallen for his damsel, hence the wedding.
I wasn’t in danger of falling for her, but it was still a problem. When something wrong, I wanted to fix it, especially if it was a pretty girl. Trouble was, I was out of my depth with this one, and I knew better than to think I was capable of solving all her problems.
Two
Emily
Why was it so damn warm in here? The AC was on full blast. I knew because our table was under one of the vents. The cool air tickled my skin and still my entire body felt flushed.
It was him.
I knew it was.
His gaze blanketed me in heat every time it was focused on me, which was every few minutes. And it wasn’t like the creepy stare of the old, bald guy at the bar who looked this way occasionally, or even the lust-filled perusal from the douchey, J Crew, college boy at the next table.
Nope. The way Spencer’s brother looked at me was something else. He looked at me like he couldn’t help himself, like he didn’t want to tear his eyes away. He looked at me like he saw everything and was trying to fit together the pieces of the puzzle that was me.
I nearly laughed out loud at that thought.
Good luck, buddy.
I couldn’t even figure me and all my shit out and I’d gone to a shrink for help. Still, it was unnerving and had me shifting constantly in my seat. I did my best to pretend not to notice him at all. It was almost impossible though. He had one of those charismatic personalities that sucked you right in and made you hang on his every word.
He carried on conversations and jokes as if there wasn’t this weird thing passing between us. As if he wasn’t stealing long looks every chance he got, letting his gaze linger longer than was appropriate given that we hadn’t even been formally introduced.
“So, there I am, young, cocky, rookie officer, just transferred to vice. Youngest guy in the department, got something to prove, and I’m thinking this is it. I’m going to be making this huge bust. I’ve caught onto a major drug operation and these guys are trading in stolen merchandise as well. In my head, I’m already receiving commendations.
“And then we raid the warehouse I’d tracked their operation to, and it turns out the crates I thought were filled with stolen electronics and drugs, were actually filled with stolen dildos and vibrators and other sex toys.”
Everyone at the table busted up and even I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped. Camden’s eyes flashed to mine briefly and he grinned.
“And my criminal masterminds,” he continued, tearing his eyes away, “were just a couple of morons and petty thieves who ripped off the wrong truck and were trying to trade the merchandise for drugs. Didn’t have more than a couple dime bags on them when we busted them. So much for my major drug operation. Instead of receiving a commendation for the bust, it became a joke in the department.
“And so now, I’m constantly finding dildos and shit and my locker back at the station. Guys won’t let me live it down.”
There were more laughs and the guys at the table razzed him. He took it good naturedly, and then some of the guys Spencer worked with started sharing their own anecdotes from the job. I was only half listening to their stories, focused instead on Camden, taking the opportunity I had to study him while his attention was on Nikoli.
He must have felt my eyes on him though, because he glanced over at me out of the corner of his eye. I couldn’t even pretend that I hadn’t been staring. He raised his bottle to his lips, covering the smirk that turned up the corners of his mouth. Then he winked before setting the beer down and returning his gaze to Nikoli.
I blushed like an idiot and looked down.
What the hell was with him, and more importantly, why the hell was I reacting this way? I wasn’t a stranger to staring, or ogling, or judging or any of the other kinds of looks people gave. I’d grown used to them since my life became national news, and long before then I was accustomed to the appreciative gazes of men. I used to relish them, encourage them, work for them.
Not anymore though. Now all I did was ignore them or avoid these sorts of situations entirely when I could. Tonight was unavoidable though. So here I was. In a dress, heels, and the whole works no less. For my best friend. Because I was healing. I was better. I was happy. I could have a normal night out and all that other bullshit no one, myself included – myself especially – believed.
No doubt that’s what Camden Shaw was seeing, because I wasn’t as good as he was at hiding my thoughts.
And it bothered me.
It shouldn’t. He was just another guy I wasn’t interested in, like J Crew over there. Yet it did.
And it wasn’t just because he was hot. Even J Crew had that going for him, although his hotness wasn’t on the same level as Camden’s. No one in the whole damn bar was on the same level as Camden Shaw except for maybe his brother. And Nikoli. Yet, Nikoli wasn’t reducing me to a pile of ashes with his eyes.
Camden was so damn good looking, in a James Dean meets Dean Winchester sort of way. He was tall and the strength in his build was obvious, but he had a lean cut, not all bulging muscles. And his smile. It was a nice smile. Warm, a bit playful, a hint of mischief and maybe even something a tad more sinful. Or maybe I was seeing that in his eyes when I dared let myself meet them. Lord knows they were dark and intense and they flashed with heat the few times our gazes collided.
I thought sparks were fake.
Something made up for movies and romance novels.
But it turns out they aren’t fake.
They weren’t like I would have expected though. I didn’t feel like I’d been zapped. It wasn’t this intense bolt of lightning that made me want to tear his clothes off or let him tear mine off.
It was this feeling that every time our eyes met we shared something, that we were in on a secret no one else at the table knew. Like we were having this entire conversation with just looks as if we’d known each other before tonight, maybe in a past life. I didn’t even believe in past lives, but that was the only way I could describe the feeling.
And that feeling was electric. It made my body hum and the hairs stand up on my arms. It was strange and unfamiliar. I kept thinking it would go away, that I’d look at him again and it wouldn’t be like that, but it was. Every time and I didn’t know what to do with it. So I just stopped looking.
Maybe another girl would be excited. If I were any other girl, I would have been. I would send him flirty smiles, work my way toward his end of the table, or maybe I would play coy and let him come to me. I’d let him buy me a drink and see where the night took us. But I wasn’t that girl and whatever this was, it was unwelcome.
Beside me, Cassie slid out of her seat and stood. “I need to use the bathroom and get a refill.” She wiggled her empty glass, the ice in it rattling.
“I’ll come with you.” I practically leapt out of my seat. Anything for a moment away from him. I needed the reprieve to clear my head.
“I’ll get your drink while you go to the bathroom,” I told her, taking the empty glass. “What are you drinking?”
“Thanks, I’ll take another margarita.”
She headed toward the restrooms and I walked up to the bar and set the glass down. I tapped my fingers on the bar top while I waited for the bartender’s attention, willing myself not to turn around and look back at Camden.
I glanced up at the flat screen in front of me and feigned interest in the recaps from an earlier soccer match. I felt someone come up beside me, their arm brushing mine. I jerked away immediately. It was a reaction I couldn’t help, and when I saw that it was J Crew, I slid away another few inches.
He was leering at me drunkenly and even though the music wasn’t that loud, he leaned in. “Can I buy you a drink?”
“No, thank you,” I said briskly and then looked around for the bartender, hoping this guy would take the hint and walk away.
But he didn’t and the bartender was still busy mixing drinks for another group.
“Come on, one drink. The
prettiest girl in the bar shouldn’t be buying her own drink.” One side of his mouth curled up in what I’m sure he thought was a winning grin.
Gag me.
“Look, I’m flattered, but really, no thank you.”
Now walk away dude, while your pride is only slightly bruised.
But J Crew was nothing if not persistent.
He scooted closer and tried another approach. “Listen, my name is Eric. I just want to get to know you. I noticed you as soon as you walked into the bar. I haven’t been able to stop staring.” I’d noticed, and I inched away again. “It’s one drink. We can grab a table and just talk.”
I drew in a deep breath and prepared to face him fully and shut this down, when someone came up on my other side. A warm, firm hand pressed at the small of my back. It was reassuring and protective and unlike when Eric touched me, I didn’t shirk away.
“Hey babe,” his warm breath fanned my cheek as he leaned in. “Did you order our drinks already?”
This close, I could see that his dark brown eyes had flecks of gold in them. And he had a tiny scar above his left eyebrow.
A soft smile tugged at his lips and I realized he was waiting for me to play along and answer his question. I wasn’t sure I was capable of speaking coherently, so I just jerked my head side to side.
“That’s okay, I forgot to give you the money,” he chuckled like it was silly boneheaded, boyfriend thing to do. “You can go sit back down and I’ll get our drinks.”
“Okay,” I managed. His hand lingered on my back for another second before he withdrew it and let me slip away from the bar. I avoided glancing at Eric, but I had to turn back when I remembered I was supposed to be getting Cassie a drink.
“Babe,” I squeaked awkwardly, earning myself another smile when he looked over his shoulder at me. “I want a–”
“Margarita, I know,” he winked and turned to give the bartender, who had finally come over, the drink order.
When I returned to the table, they were all engrossed in a debate about baseball teams. None of them had noticed what went on at the bar. It was almost like it never happened. Then Camden came back with the drinks. When he leaned in to set Cassie’s in her spot, his arm brushed mine and I knew the contact was intentional, but it wasn’t aggressive the way Eric’s had been.
Tears of Blue (Shades of Death Book 2) Page 2
