He rested his hands over the cotton fabric bunched up around my hips. He toyed with the edges of the shirt while I ran my hands down his chest and then followed with my lips, tasting his skin.
I flicked his nipple with my tongue and then scraped it with my teeth. His fingers dug into my hips and he dragged me closer, pressing me down on the hard bulge in his boxers while he tilted his hips up.
I pulled my head away from his chest and let it fall back, hooking my arms around his neck. He rocked us together a few more times, creating a delicious friction that burned me up from the inside out. I was sure he could feel my wetness soaking through his boxers, the only barrier between us.
I fingered the short locks of hair at the back of his neck while he kept the rhythm with our hips. He was slowly taking back control and I knew it wouldn’t be long before he was owning my body again. As much as I ached for it, I wasn’t done having my way with him just yet.
I shoved his shoulders, pushing his back down to the mattress. He scooted back so that his legs weren’t hanging off the edge and I crawled over him, stopping astride his hips.
I raked my hands up his chest and resumed my oral exploration of his taught and well-muscled chest, running my tongue along every dip and bulge, teasing him with the occasional nip of my teeth.
I traced my tongue down past his belly button and along the trail that led to a place in position to give Disneyland some competition for the happiest place on earth.
Oh God, it was probably so wrong to think about Disneyland and sex in the same thought, but now the only thing running through my mind were dirty ride jokes.
I flicked my eyes up at him as I scraped my teeth over the stretch of skin just above the band of his boxers. His eyes were dilated to the point that the iris was indiscernible from the pupil and his hungry gaze was fixed on me. I didn’t look away as I hooked one finger under the elastic and started to tug.
He groaned, shifting his hips, and then his hands grabbed me under the arms and dragged me up his body. “As much as I want to let you keep going, it will have to wait until later. Right now, I just need to be back inside you.”
He sat up, grabbing the bottom of his shirt, and yanked it over my head. I sat back on his thighs, letting his eyes have their fill. They caressed my face and down over my chest, lingering there a bit, before dropping even lower. He bit his lip between his teeth and shifted his hips once more. I knew if I glanced down, his hardness would be straining against the stretchy, black cotton holding it back.
His hands flattened against my stomach and followed the path of his eyes back up. He took my aching breasts into his hands and squeezed. I grabbed his biceps and let my head fall back.
His hands were rough and demanding, but at the same time his touch was somehow tender and reverent. He made me feel like a goddess in his arms as he left a trail of fire in his wake. My entire body was lit.
Then he began torturing me with his mouth the way he had last night, and I was convinced I was going to melt into a puddle right there. I needed more of him. Everywhere.
A groan rumbled from his chest and I could see his control slipping. He scooped me up in his arms and fumbled his way to the dresser where he set me on top so he could rifle through one of the drawers for a condom. He didn’t waste another second shoving his boxers just past his ass, freeing his erection and sheathing himself. I fisted my hands in his hair and wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him to me as he drove inside.
He braced himself on the dresser as he stretched and filled me, going as deep as he could. He retreated and pushed back in slowly. We both fixed our eyes on the point where we connected. It was so erotic watching him slide in and out.
He grabbed my hips and dragged my ass closer to the edge. I braced one hand behind me and let my head hang back as he started to move faster. Pretty soon the dresser was thudding against the wall with the force of his thrusts.
He wrapped his arms around my back and picked me up again. I clung to him as he moved us back to the bed, sitting and pulling me on top of him. He lay back as I sank down on his length. He was even deeper than before.
We found our rhythm again, him driving up every time I sank down. His hands played with my breasts, spurring me on, and when he pinched my nipple I bucked hard. He lowered one hand to my hip, urging me to go faster and taking control. My entire body was tingling, on the verge of going over the edge.
A second hand gripped my other hip and then I was bouncing up and down. When I didn’t think I could take any more, I tumbled over that precipice into ecstasy. I was still falling when Camden suddenly flipped me onto my back and began pounding into me like he was trying to break the bed. All I could do was grip his hair while he buried his face in my neck. He bit down and I pulled his hair and then he found his release.
“Fucking hell woman,” he growled with a shudder, as he rolled to his back beside me. “What are you doing to me?”
I could have asked the same thing.
Once we’d finally recovered and made it out of bed and back downstairs, the dogs were on the front porch waiting with their knowing, judgey eyes. They needed food and so did I. Camden delivered that promised complimentary breakfast along with several complementary kisses that led to him dragging me off to the shower once we were done eating.
I finally got to finish what I’d started earlier when I was tasting his body. I brought him to his knees, literally, and then he returned the favor. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever get enough of him. Of this.
I didn’t even know what we were doing. I wasn’t sure if it even mattered. Last night and this morning changed things. What I’d hoped would just be a one-off to relieve some stress and get him out of my system, was quickly becoming a hell of a lot more. He’d reminded me how pleasurable it could be to give up some of the control I hung onto so tightly. Made me feel like a desirable woman again and showed me how good it would be to be his woman. And damn it all to hell, I wanted to be.
I hadn’t felt this good in a very long time and I wanted to hang onto that feeling. I knew it couldn’t last, but I was trying at the moment not to think about that. It was better to just enjoy the moment. Carpe the diem and all that shit. That used to be my motto, and this was the closest I’d felt to the old me.
I couldn’t get her back, but maybe, just maybe, this is what I needed to move forward. A crazy hot fling to make me feel alive again.
Even as I thought it, I knew it was a bad idea. Camden wasn’t hot fling material. He was wild, crazy, passionate, intense, love-affair kind of material. The guy you tell yourself not to fall for, because you know it’s a bad idea, but you foolishly do it anyway. I could already see it happening.
In his arms was the first place I’d felt truly safe in so long. When he held me, the only fear I felt was of losing my heart. That terrified me more than anything, because I knew safe was an illusion. One I couldn’t trust even if he made me want to. Even if he might be the one man who could protect my heart; protect me. He could also break it, and with it, me as well. If I let him in, he could hurt me in ways Will/Aaron had never managed to.
I had a text from Nora when we got out of the shower. She wanted to know how things went and if I was doing alright? I sat on the bed and stared at the text on the screen. I had no idea how to answer it, or what I should tell her about last night.
Maybe the smart thing was to just walk away before I got in too deep with him. Last night was incredible and amazing and I’d needed it. I’d seized the moment, and I was glad I’d seized it with Camden, but maybe now the moment needed to be over. Especially since it couldn’t go anywhere beyond the week or two I might be here.
I fell backward onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling, resolved yet feeling inexplicably devastated by my decision, even though it was the right one. This wasn’t about being afraid to let someone in anymore. This was about being smart and practical and realistic.
Then Camden walked into the bedroom in a pair of athletic shorts and nothing else – hi
s skin still glistening with drops of water from the shower, dragging a towel over his hair, that perpetual naughty grin on his face as he observed me lying back on his bed.
Who the hell was I kidding?
Walk away?
Riiiight.
That plan was quickly being blown to hell.
How deep could we even get in a week or two?
I knew what I was doing.
I wouldn’t let my heart get involved and mess things up.
I was sure Camden would be on the same page.
It would just be a bit of fun and we might even come out of it friends when it was time for me to go back home. . .
Nora always was the smart, practical one.
Fifteen
Camden
“What’s that look on your face?” I tossed the towel I’d scrubbed over my hair down and approached the bed, where Emily was leaned back on her elbows, watching me with a decidedly wicked smile.
“I was just thinking that if you didn’t mind, I wouldn’t go to the hotel tonight.”
“Oh really?” I pressed my knees to the edge of the mattress and held my hands out to her. She grabbed them and I pulled her up. “You want to stay here?”
“If you’ll have me,” she grinned coyly.
“Oh, you better believe I’ll have you.” I yanked her to my chest. “I plan to have you again and again.”
“Oooh,” she murmured softly. “Aren’t you just accommodating.”
A soft chuckle rumbled from my throat. “For you, hell yes.” I smacked a hard kiss on her lips and then stood. “But right now, we have to get our asses to the hospital, and if I don’t get you out of that bed like right now, we won’t make it to the hospital. We won’t make it anywhere.”
She exhaled audibly and scooted off the bed. “You’re right. We should go see your mom. You’re to blame for this though. You were distracting me.”
“I was distracting you? You were the one spread out on my bed, practically begging me to take you.”
Her face scrunched into a scowl. “I was just sitting on your bed.”
“Same thing.”
She rolled her eyes and gave my chest a shove, brushing past me to walk over to my dresser. She pulled a shirt from one of the drawers and threw it at me. “Well you need to put more clothes on.”
I caught the shirt and chuckled.
“I’ll leave you to finish dressing.” She strode toward the door, but I caught her arm and stopped her, shifting into a more serious mood.
“Hey, before we go, I just want to say something about last night and this morning first.”
“It’s okay, we don’t have to do this right now. We should really get going. We can talk later,” she quickly tried to brush me off.
I frowned slightly. “I just want to make sure you know that this isn’t just casual sex to me. I don’t want you thinking I’m just using you for a bit of fun between the sheets before you go home and I never see you again. That’s not what I want.”
She seemed unsure of what to say to that for a second, then mumbled an awkward, “okay,” before slipping out of the room.
When I dressed and went downstairs, she was waiting on the front porch. As soon as I stepped outside, she headed for the car, carefully avoiding looking at me.
What the fuck?
“You good?” I asked once we were in the car.
“Yup.” She clicked her seatbelt and then reached for the radio. That’s when I knew she was lying. The satellite radio was tuned to a country station, and she turned the volume up.
Emily hated country music. I’d figured that out within the first five minutes of having in my car that first time. It was a personality flaw I was willing to overlook because of her other, more delightful qualities.
Something was going on in that head of hers because she just sat back and let the music play. Hell if I knew what it was or how to get her to talk to me. The farther I drove into town, the more distance I felt between the two of us.
“Do you want to stop anywhere before we head to the hospital? Do you need anything? I know you weren’t planning to be here this long.” I was reaching for anything to get her to talk to me.
“No. I’m fine.”
We were back in the city limits and all I wanted to do was turn the car around. Rewind and spend the entire day between my sheets with her. I wished I could’ve kept her there, in a bubble of sex and laughter, until we were both clear on what this was.
This morning – waking up to her, having her in my house, in my bed, in my shower – I was pretty damn sure I wanted to put that particular track on repeat. It felt big, but then maybe it was just the haze of amazing sex that left me feeling like that.
Being with someone had never felt like that before, like that was it, like there wouldn’t ever be anyone else because I’d never want anyone else. Yet, that’s exactly how it had felt to have her. I thought I’d seen something similar in her eyes. I thought she was letting down all those walls and letting me in, but again, maybe I was wrong.
Maybe it was just an escape for her, because the second I’d tried to talk to her about it, she closed herself off again. It wasn’t like I’d proposed marriage. I just wanted her to know it was more than just a bit of casual fun between us. I didn’t want her to think I was only using her for the sex, but maybe I should have been more worried about her just using me for the sex.
“I just need to swing by my apartment and grab something.”
She sat quietly in the passenger’s seat, staring out the window, lost in her head and it was like last night and this morning were already forgotten.
I was making this too fucking complicated. I gripped the steering wheel tighter in an attempt to get a handle on this frustration. I was letting myself get too worked up and too wrapped up in one girl. We spent the night together and had incredible sex, but if that’s all it was, then that’s all it was. Whatever happened now was up to her. At this point, I was just along for the ride, and at the moment it was filled with awkward silence.
I pulled up in front of my apartment and shut off the car. “I’m going to be a minute. You can come up if you want.”
“Okay.” Her tone implied she didn’t care one way or the other and she was still avoiding looking me in the eyes, but she exited the car when I did. She followed me inside, up to my second-floor apartment.
As much as I wanted to pin her against the door when I shut it behind us, and work out whatever was going on, now wasn’t exactly the time.
I needed to grab some files and then get to the hospital before it was time to meet with Captain Richards and the rest of the team. I left Emily standing in what passed for my tiny living room and went to the bedroom and retrieved a small USB drive from its hiding spot. I took it over to the laptop on my nightstand. You couldn’t be too careful doing this job, and maybe that’s why out of habit I scanned the parking lot and street out my bedroom window while I waited for the laptop to fire up.
The curtain was half drawn so I only caught a glimpse of a figure standing across the street, appearing to be staring up at my apartment. I went to the window and drew the curtain back, searching for him, but he was already gone. I didn’t get a close look, but I could’ve sworn it was Lenkov.
I didn’t know what that bastard would be doing here, and it might have just been in my head, but I had a bad feeling in my gut. If it was him, whatever his reason for being outside my apartment wasn’t good.
Fuck.
Had whoever it was been standing there when we pulled up? I was so distracted by Emily and whatever was going on with her, that I hadn’t been paying attention to anything or anyone else.
I did a full scan of my room, looking for any sign of disturbance. Nothing was out of place, but that didn’t necessarily mean shit when it came to Alexei’s men. If It was Lenkov I saw, it was also possible he was here on his own checking up on me.
That I lived here wasn’t a secret. It was never supposed to be. That was the point of having this apart
ment as part of my cover. I already knew Oleg didn’t like me, but it didn’t mean I was blown. No reason to panic yet.
I copied the files I needed from my email to the USB and then shut the computer down again before returning to the living room. I went to the window there. People were coming and going from the building. This was a busy neighborhood – a coffee shop, a grocery store and a hair salon took up the parking lot across the street, so it wasn’t exactly like the streets were deserted, but none of the people I saw looked like the guy I’d seen staring at my building.
I couldn’t exactly call Alexei up and ask him if he’d sent Lenkov to check up on me, but I had to be more cautious. Emily was watching me curiously, probably wondering why I was staring out the window. I hated that I might have put her in this guy’s sights. I felt sick to my stomach.
“Come on. I got what I needed, let’s go.”
I couldn’t get her out of there fast enough.
Nora and Spencer were already at the hospital when we got there. They both had a grim set about their faces. Spencer pulled me aside before I could even step inside Mom’s room. Emily joined Nora and my parents in the room and Spencer shut the door behind them.
“What’s going on?” It hadn’t been that long since I’d spoken to him on the phone.
“We’ve got a problem. You know those extra tests we asked the doc to run, just to be sure? Well they just came back with results.”
Fuck.
Spencer explained what the lab found in Mom’s system, what would have gone undetected had we not asked them to take a closer look.
I was ready to kill someone.
“Looks like it was probably ingested yesterday morning. Best guess is in her morning tea. Anyone who knew her or had been watching for any amount of time would know she drinks it faithfully. Dad’s already talked to the police.”
“And what are you doing?” I growled at my brother.
“You know damn well we’re doing everything we can to find this guy.”
“And coming up with shit.”
“We’ll get him.”
Tears of Blue (Shades of Death Book 2) Page 13
