All the reasons she’d had for pretending to be Jacques’s girlfriend didn’t seem to matter any more. Especially when she realised she hadn’t even had the chance to promote her store when she’d been on air. All she had done was boost Jacques’s ego even more.
But wasn’t that the reason he’d brought her on the show in the first place?
She took a few more deep breaths to calm the anger pumping through her veins and walked to the door, avoiding the mirrors in the room so that she didn’t have to be reminded—again—of how terrible she looked. When she opened the door Jacques was standing there, hand in the air, ready to knock. She plastered a smile on her face, not wanting the sacrifices she’d already made to be undone, and brushed a kiss on his cheek.
‘How did the rest of the interview go?’
She forced cheer into her voice and slipped her hand into Jacques’s, gently pulling him towards the exit. She assumed since he was there that his interview was done, and she didn’t want to stay any longer and pretend she loved a man she wasn’t even sure she liked at that moment.
‘Great.’
Jacques walked with her, though she could sense the resistance in him. They didn’t speak for the rest of the short walk to the exit, but Jacques stopped before they could walk past security.
‘I have to stay and meet with Jade and Riley. The PR firm reps.’
She nodded, remembering their conversation last night—though it seemed a longer time ago—and brushed another kiss on his cheek as goodbye.
Hopefully for ever.
‘Will I see you for dinner later?’ he asked, threatening her hopes of never seeing him again. But then she realised that she wasn’t really his girlfriend, and that this was his attempt at seeing the non-girlfriend Lily again.
And that she could refuse.
‘I’m working late tonight, honey—remember? You can call me later.’
She waved at him and walked out of the studio, knowing full well he didn’t have her number.
CHAPTER EIGHT
‘YOU ARE SO lucky I had a deadline this afternoon or I would have called earlier.’
Lily briefly closed her eyes at Caitlyn’s irate voice on the phone and locked the front door of the store. It was just before seven, and normally Lily would have taken the store’s accounts outside and enjoyed the sound of the sea lapping against the pier and the laziness of Friday evening as she worked.
But today she’d exposed enough of herself to the public.
‘I’m not sure I would use the word “lucky”,’ Lily replied, gathering her things. She just wanted to get home, soak in the bath and forget the mistakes she’d made that day.
‘Oh, trust me, you’re definitely lucky,’ Caitlyn disagreed. ‘But that luck has run out and now I want to know exactly what’s going on with you and my future brother-in-law.’
‘There isn’t anything going on with me and Jacques.’
‘Really?’ Caitlyn demanded. ‘Because I’m watching a clip of you defending his past right now. It currently has four hundred thousand views.’
‘Cait,’ she said wearily. ‘Please. I can’t deal with snippiness today.’
Lily wasn’t surprised her friend had called, demanding answers. She’d already had to deal with her mother’s hurt because Lily hadn’t told her she was dating again. And by ‘deal with’ Lily meant ‘lie to’, since she couldn’t possibly tell her mother it was all a charade. She’d managed to talk around it, but that conversation alone had taken up a substantial part of her energy.
But then she’d had to conjure up more for her work day. Because as soon as she’d walked in Terri and Cara, her staff, had demanded why they hadn’t known. And then people had begun to recognise her, and the store had grown busier than it had ever been before.
‘I’m sorry, Lil. I’m just worried about you. You barely know Jacques. Hell, I barely know him.’
‘I know. I know,’ Lily repeated more definitely. ‘I’m sorry for snapping. It’s just been a...a long, long day.’
‘Don’t apologise.’
Lily could almost see the hand her friend was waving her apology away with.
‘At least not to me. Besides, I keep telling you that you don’t have to say sorry for bringing the fire. I love it when you do.’
She paused, and Lily sensed her hesitation over the phone.
‘Will you tell me what’s going on now?’
Lily sighed, and quickly explained everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours. The only thing she left out was the kiss—she didn’t need Caitlyn to remind her of how much she had messed up, and that was the part she was most embarrassed by.
Caitlyn didn’t say anything when Lily was done, and her heart pulsed. Her silence was out of character, which meant that Caitlyn wanted to say something she knew Lily wasn’t going to like.
‘Cait, just tell me what you’re thinking.’
‘I don’t want to...’ Caitlyn sighed. ‘Fine. Look, I just want you to be careful, okay? I don’t really know that much about Jacques, and even when I pressed Nathan about him last night he wouldn’t tell me any more than he already had. I just... Well, I don’t think he’s the person you should move on with. Especially not after Kyle.’
Lily felt annoyance, but pushed it aside. She didn’t know why she’d felt it in the first place.
‘I’m not moving on with Jacques. This...it’s pretend.’
‘Are you sure?’
She waited a beat, and then answered, ‘Yes.’
‘And if you go on with this pretence you’ll be fine with all the attention?’
Lily knew Caitlyn wouldn’t be her best friend if she didn’t know everything about her—well, mostly everything, she corrected, thinking how she’d never told Caitlyn about the way things had really ended with Kyle. But it irked her that her friend knew just where to hit.
‘Actually, I take that back. You have to be fine with all the attention. You’re in this now. You have to keep this illusion going until Jacques’s deal is signed, and perhaps even after that.’
Though she desperately wished that Caitlyn was wrong, the feeling in the pit of her stomach told her that her friend was right. She’d known it the minute she’d got that call from her mother.
‘I’ll figure it out,’ Lily breathed, and heard Caitlyn sigh again.
‘Just be careful.’
‘I will be. Thanks.’
There wasn’t much to say after that, and when she’d said goodbye Lily locked up and made her way to the parking lot. She kept her jersey tight around her, despite the early summer heat, and kept her head down. She didn’t want to be recognised. Not only because she’d had enough of it that day, but because she didn’t know what to expect if one of Jacques’s more devoted fans found her.
‘Lily.’
Her first instinct was to grab for the pepper spray in her handbag. But though it took her a moment, she recognised the voice.
Jacques was leaning against the car that was parked next to hers. He’d changed his T-shirt from white to blue, abandoned the leather jacket. She felt a flash of disappointment, but shook it off.
‘Hi...’
His deep voice rumbled, and her train of thought was derailed. And for that reason, she said, ‘No.’
‘No, what?’
‘No, I’m not interested in whatever you’re here to say.’
‘Give me a chance.’
‘No.’
She shook her head and walked past him to the driver’s side of her car. A hand closed over her arm.
‘Can we go somewhere private to discuss this, before we draw an audience?’
She knew he was right—that people would recognise him and then perhaps her sooner or later—but she couldn’t bring herself to agree.
‘We
don’t have anything to discuss. I did what you asked. Debt paid. Now we can move on.’
‘Lily, please. I just need a few minutes. Please.’
Her heart softened, though her mind urged her to stay strong. For a minute she struggled between the two. But one look at his face had her sighing.
‘My flat is twenty minutes away.’
‘Mine is ten.’
She frowned. How had he always been that close to her and yet had only now managed to disrupt her life?
‘Fine, I’ll follow you.’
Lily was grateful for the short drive, since it didn’t give her enough time to indulge her feelings about going to Jacques’s flat. So she ignored the slight churn of panic in her belly. Ignored the rapid beat of anxiety in her chest. She’d experienced them often enough with Kyle to recognise the signs of anticipating an argument.
Instead she focused on her breathing. And as she parked her car in front of the sophisticated building in Jacques’s secure estate she gave herself a pep talk. But she didn’t speak in the elevator they took up to his flat. She didn’t comment when he let her in and the first thing she saw was Table Mountain. When the first thing she heard was the crashing of waves.
Jacques put on lights, though it was only just beginning to grow dark then, and she got a better view of the glass that made up one side of his flat. Part of it was a sliding door, she realised when he opened it, and took a step closer. It looked out onto the beach, and the steps leading down from the balcony of the flat went directly to the sand. Having specifically rented her shop at the beachfront for its calmness, she appreciated Jacques’s choice. Even though he probably didn’t really live there, she thought, looking at the inside.
Grey laminate floors stretched across the open-plan room. Soft white furniture was arranged in the living room to face the spectacular view, with a light brown carpet and white dining room set just behind it. The kitchen was next to that, designed in white and grey to match the colour scheme of the entire flat. Lights beamed softly in the roof above the living room and kitchen, and an intricate fixture hung over the dining room table, illuminating it intimately.
It looked like the homes she’d seen in magazines—visually beautiful, glossy, and so very perfect. Except it didn’t feel like a home. It didn’t have the cosiness a home with a view like his should have.
‘You’re upset because of the interview today.’
It wasn’t a question, and she braced herself for the inevitable.
‘You already seem to know the answer to that.’ She saw the confirmation on his face. ‘Why am I here, Jacques? For you to point out the obvious?’
‘No, I wanted to...to apologise.’
The way he said it made her think that wasn’t the real reason she was there. She thought about Caitlyn’s words, thought about her own reservations, and knew he didn’t only want to apologise.
‘I shouldn’t have ambushed you this morning. I just... I didn’t know what to do when they started asking questions about you.’
‘And you thought having me on camera with you could only help your aim to buy the club.’
‘Yes.’
He was watching her closely and she shifted.
‘But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel bad about it.’
‘Do you?’
‘I do.’
‘At least you’re being honest.’ And sincere, she thought, looking at his face.
‘I’m sorry if I upset you.’
The words seemed more genuine now.
‘I also wanted to thank you.’
He took a step forward, and instinct had her moving back. Then, because she didn’t want it to seem as if she was afraid of being close to him—he didn’t affect her that much, she assured herself—she stepped out onto the balcony.
The fresh air immediately eased some of the tension in her chest.
‘Why do you want to thank me?’ she asked when she heard him step out beside her.
‘Our interview has gone viral.’
Ah, there it was. The real reason she was there.
‘Yes, I’ve heard,’ she said dryly. ‘So you’re saying thank you because we’re all over social media?’
She could feel him watching her, and her heart hammered.
‘Yes,’ he answered, leaning against the railing as he’d done the night before at Nathan’s. ‘But more because the comments people have made are positive. My PR firm is very happy.’ He paused. ‘People really like you, Lily. And because of that they’re starting to really like me again, too.’
She almost laughed. ‘I’m glad it’s working out for you.’
‘You don’t believe that people like you?’
‘It doesn’t matter what I believe.’ But he was right. ‘You got what you wanted.’
Jacques pushed himself up, his face revealing no emotion. ‘Why don’t you just say what you really want to say, Lily? Say what you mean.’
She looked at him. ‘You used me.’
‘You were the one who showed up at the studio today.’ His voice was low. ‘I didn’t ask you to. In fact I’m pretty sure I remember telling you that you weren’t the right person for it.’
His words sent a jolt through her.
‘I know that. And I realise now that it was a mistake.’
She forced herself to calm the anxiety pumping through her at the confrontation, told herself she was doing the right thing.
‘But I showed up there because I chose to—which means I actually had a say. You took that away from me when you called me on to live television without checking with me first.’
A flash of regret crossed his face, but Lily refused to be swayed by it. She might as well say everything she needed to now.
‘I would have never agreed to that if you’d asked me, and in my book that means you used me.’
The regret was gone from his face now, replaced by a stormy expression that she might have been wary of if she hadn’t expected it.
But instead of the fire she knew he was capable of, he simply said, ‘You knew what this would entail when you agreed to do it.’
She waited for more, but there was nothing. She shook her head.
‘Why can’t you just say that you shouldn’t have done it? And then you can apologise sincerely—not because what you did upset me, but because you did it at all.’
He still didn’t reply.
‘I know the real reason you wanted to talk is because you need me,’ she said. ‘And because I’m already in two minds about helping you, it would probably be best if you stop with the silent treatment.’
CHAPTER NINE
THERE WAS A part of him that appreciated her temper. It was so different from the insecurity he could sense just beneath the surface, and the honesty was refreshing. But a bigger part of him was disturbed that Lily’s words were describing his father.
Again.
From the moment he’d met her he’d been treating Lily as his father had treated his mother. Manipulating her, using her. But, unlike his mother, Lily had called him out on it both times. She wasn’t as similar to the woman who’d raised him as he’d thought, Jacques realised. But did that matter when he was acting like his father? Someone he’d fought all his life not to become?
‘I’m sorry I used you.’
‘Thank you,’ she answered softly, and he had to take a moment to compose himself. To protect himself against the emotions—the memories—he’d always managed to keep far, far away from his daily life.
Until he’d met Lily.
‘So, will you help me now?’ he asked when he was sure he had control of himself again.
‘If we’re being honest, I really don’t want to.’
She looked at him, and his heart ached at the vulnerability he saw on her face.
> ‘So I apologised for nothing?’
‘No, you apologised because you want to be a decent human being.’ She shot him a look that had him smiling and shook her head. ‘You were kidding. Okay, well... A sense of humour.’
She shook her head again, and looked out to the beach.
‘When you get over your surprise, how about you tell me what’s going on?’
‘I told you—I made a mistake this morning. And now I realise how big.’
‘Because people are recognising you?’
‘Yes, but more than that, too.’
She angled her shoulders so that he couldn’t see her face. Again, his heart pulsed for her.
‘My parents called this morning. They wanted to know why I hadn’t told them we were dating.’
She turned back to him now, and his heart’s reaction became harder to ignore.
‘What did you say to them?’ he asked, to distract himself.
‘I lied.’ She shrugged. ‘What could I tell them? That I was pretending to be your girlfriend for a business deal? They would be so disappointed in me. And I’ve disappointed them enough.’
The words to ask how were at the tip of his tongue, but he stopped himself. He didn’t want to become more invested in this woman. Not if he could help it.
‘We’re in this now, aren’t we?’ She looked up at him. ‘We have to keep this going until the deal’s done. Until people lose interest.’
Since it was exactly what he’d wanted, he thought he should confirm it to her with excitement. But instead, he found himself saying softly, ‘Yeah, we do.’
She crossed her arms, sucking in her bottom lip in such a defeated way that he couldn’t help it when his words came tumbling out.
‘Why did you do it? I’m not talking about the reason you already gave me.’ He brushed off the explanation he knew she had ready. ‘Sure, maybe you did come through this morning because you wanted to thank me or pay off a debt. But that wasn’t the only reason.’
She tightened her arms around herself, and he knew he’d been right.
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