But she didn’t have time to think about it any further. The door opened and in a few quick movements Jacques was in front of Kyle.
‘You should leave. Before I remind you of what my fist feels like.’
Lily didn’t think she’d ever heard anything sound as menacing. And, considering the look on Kyle’s face, she didn’t think he had either.
‘She’s after your money. Just like she was after mine.’
The air in her lungs quite simply froze. But Jacques didn’t respond to Kyle’s words. Instead he said, ‘I’m going to say this one more time, and then I’m going to act on it. And, no, I don’t care if people speculate about it when they see you leave with a bloody face.’
Jacques sent Kyle a hard look.
‘They’re all aware of my reputation.’ There was a short pause, and then Jacques repeated, ‘Leave—before I make you leave.’
Kyle didn’t stay any longer to tempt fate, and when he was gone Lily’s knees went weak. In one quick movement Jacques’s arms were around her, steadying her.
‘It’s okay,’ he said softly. ‘He’s gone. And he won’t be back.’
‘How do you know?’
‘Because I told you I would protect you. And that means making sure Kyle never gets to you again.’
At his words, she rested her head on his chest and for a brief moment closed her eyes. She wished they could stay like that, away from the realities of the world. But she knew they couldn’t. Not when Kyle’s presence had reminded her of something she’d managed to avoid thinking about in the past month. Not when she knew Jacques would ask her about it.
She took a step back, asked a question to delay the inevitable. ‘How did you know where we were?’
‘I saw him arrive, and then I got distracted.’ A shadow passed over his face. ‘When I couldn’t find him again—or you—I began to look for you. And then I found you.’
‘Thank you.’
‘What was he talking to you about?’
She turned her back towards him, needing the time to compose herself. She told herself she needed to do this—not because Jacques had asked, but because she needed to tell him.
She needed to do this for herself.
When she turned back, he was watching her with expressionless eyes.
‘When I found Kyle cheating on me I was devastated. Not because I loved him—which I realised after a few weeks—but because it gave my insecurities more grounds than they’d had in a long time.’
Her voice faltered with those words, but she cleared her throat.
‘And although Kyle begged me to go back to him—though he told me that he’d just made a mistake—I couldn’t believe him. You don’t make a mistake like that when you love someone.’
Get to the point, she told herself.
‘When he realised I wasn’t coming back he began to buy me things. And when I sent them back he told me I could have whatever I wanted. That it would be my “choice”.’
Bitterness washed over her tongue.
‘And when that didn’t work he threatened me.’
She saw the fist Jacques made in response to her words, stifled the hope that flared inside her. It didn’t mean anything.
‘I told him if he didn’t stop I would go to the police, and I was on the way there when his family’s lawyer called me.’ She took another breath—for courage. ‘He wanted a meeting. He told me that the Van der Rosses wanted to “solve” the situation without involving the police, and that he would ensure Kyle stayed away from me. By then I just... I just wanted it all to go away.’
She still cursed her naiveté.
‘So I agreed to the meeting, and when I got there Kyle’s parents were there, too. They were never...fond of me. They thought I was beneath their son, that I was too dowdy, too...common.’
And she’d proved them right, she thought with a pang.
‘Though they were perfectly nice to me. Told me they were so sorry about how everything had ended with me and Kyle.’
The rest came out as a rush. She couldn’t bear the silence, the tension that pulsed from Jacques.
‘And then they told me that they’d give me whatever I wanted if I signed a non-disclosure agreement. I just had to agree never to speak about Kyle’s philandering ways—especially since his father was pitching to an important client with solid family values—and I could ask them for anything.’
‘And so you asked for money?’
The flat tone broke her heart.
‘I didn’t. Not at first. I asked them why they thought it was necessary. Whether they really thought I would ruin their business because Kyle had broken my heart. And my self-confidence, which was really the case.’
She closed her eyes, and then shrugged.
‘Though they only actually said something about “covering all their bases”, I realised that it was because they didn’t think much of me. The look on his mother’s face... I knew what they thought of me, and it made me feel so...worthless.’
She bit her lip, tried to stop the tears from coming.
‘So I asked for something that would make that feeling go away.’
She paused now, and looked at Jacques’s face. His expression made her attempts not to cry useless, and she brushed at the tears.
‘My store,’ she continued when she’d cleared her throat, ‘was something I’d been working on for years. I knew I would never have enough money to start it if I didn’t take the money from them. So we agreed on an amount and I signed the document.’
So now he knew, she thought, and folded her arms as she waited for him to respond.
‘That’s why you didn’t want to take the loan I offered you?’
‘Yes.’
There was a pause.
‘I have to propose to you.’
‘What?’
He shoved his hands into his trouser pockets. ‘I don’t have the Shadows’ most important sponsors on my side. Riley told me that they might be swayed if I propose to you.’
‘And you...what? Want my permission?’
‘Yes.’ His tone was clipped. ‘I didn’t want to put you on the spot again.’
Her heart wanted to soften at his words. At the confirmation that things between them had changed. That he’d changed. But how could it when he couldn’t even look her in the eye?
‘I appreciate you asking me. And...and I know this is important to you. So of course I agree.’
‘Thank you.’
He nodded and then turned away.
‘Jacques, please. Say something. Anything. Tell me you’re disappointed in me. That you can’t stand it that I took money from them.’
He turned back. ‘Is that how you feel about yourself?’
A sob escaped from her lips. ‘Yes.’
‘Would you do it again?’
‘I didn’t even want to take a loan from you, Jacques. You know the answer to that.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because taking that money has stripped away my confidence, my self-worth.’ She was purging herself now, she thought. ‘Because I’ve belittled my success by taking it. Because the lack of success in the months before I met you eroded every belief I’d had that owning my shop would make me feel better. That it would make me feel like I was more than what other people thought me.’
It would have felt so good if she’d finally been able to make a success of something. If she’d finally been able to prove her parents wrong. The engagement had been the only thing they’d approved of in her life, and she’d disappointed them once again when she’d told them it had ended.
She hadn’t told them Kyle had cheated on her. It wouldn’t change the fact that they saw her as a failure. That she saw herself that way...
‘Oh, here you are.’
/> Jade popped her head into the room, and her smile faltered as she looked from Lily to Jacques.
‘I’m sorry, I’ve interrupted something...’
‘What do you want, Jade?’ Jacques asked tersely.
‘I was actually checking to see if this room was free, not looking for you. Yet. But there are a few people...’ She trailed off. ‘I can stall them if you like?’
‘No, that’s fine,’ Lily said. ‘I’ll go.’
She avoided Jacques’s gaze as she walked out of the room, too embarrassed by her confession to look at him.
She spent a few minutes in the bathroom, composing herself and freshening up.
When she returned to the event she thought she could fake her way through trivial conversation. Until her eyes settled on Nathan and something inside her sagged with relief.
‘It’s nice to see a familiar face here.’ She kissed him on the cheek.
‘I know how you feel,’ Nathan answered, but when he gave her a smile it seemed distracted. ‘It’s almost like old times.’
His eyes shifted over the room and she remembered that Caitlyn wasn’t with him. That she wouldn’t be for the rest of the night.
‘I didn’t think you would come without Cait. She told me she had a deadline for tomorrow morning.’
‘I wasn’t going to. But I changed my mind last minute.’
‘Did you bring Kyle?’
‘What?’ Nathan’s attention was now on her. ‘Kyle’s here?’
‘He was.’
‘Are you okay?’
‘Yes,’ she answered, and found that it was true. ‘Your brother helped.’
And that was the reason she was okay.
‘Is Kyle still alive?’
She smiled, though she could tell Nathan was only half-joking.
‘He is. But he won’t be bothering me again.’ She was pretty sure of that.
There was a moment of silence and then Nathan closed his eyes. ‘Lily, I didn’t bring him, but I think he was here tonight because of me. I mentioned it to him earlier today. I’d just decided to come, and was telling him I couldn’t work late on a case. I’m so sorry!’
‘It’s okay.’ Her heart was beating at its normal rate again. ‘It worked out in the end.’
And she needed to find the man who’d ensured that. They needed to talk.
‘Will you excuse me, Nate? I have to find...’
Her voice stopped working when she saw a man walking towards them. Dark skin, dark hair peppered with white, a strong, muscular build. If it hadn’t been for the fact that he was clearly years older Lily might have thought she was looking at Jacques. And then, when he stopped in front of them, she saw Nathan’s face.
Her heart began to thrum uncomfortably in her chest.
‘Dad,’ Nathan said, confirming her suspicions. ‘This is Lily. Caitlyn’s best friend and—’
‘Jacques’s girlfriend.’
His deep voice held a hint of an accent—British, she thought—and it reminded her, again, of Jacques. But there was something beneath the tone that sounded off to her.
You’re bringing your feelings for Jacques into this, an inner voice told her, but she shook it off. It was too complicated a thought to consider before introducing herself.
She smiled and offered a hand. ‘Yes. It’s lovely to meet you, Mr Brookes.’
‘Please, call me Dale,’ he said, and brought Lily’s hand to his mouth.
A shimmer of discomfort went down her spine, but again she shook it off.
‘Does Jacques know you two are here?’ she asked pleasantly, directing her question at Nathan.
She saw something that might have been shame pass through his eyes—he clearly knew she was actually referring to whether Jacques knew his father was there—before he shook his head.
‘I don’t think so, no. I haven’t seen him yet.’
Suddenly it made sense to Lily. Nathan had been looking for Jacques. To warn him? No, she thought. He could have called him to do that. This was some kind of...ambush, she thought, and anger simmered through her veins.
‘I should probably find him, then,’ she said, and heard the coldness in her stilted tones.
‘Are you looking for me, my love?’
An arm snaked around her waist, pulling her closer until she was moulded to Jacques’s body.
‘Yes, I was.’
She brushed a piece of hair away from his face and he looked down at her, just as she’d intended. He smiled, but by now she knew when it wasn’t genuine. Even if she hadn’t been able to tell she would have known it by the hard glint in his eyes.
‘Well, I’m here now.’ He turned his head to the two men in front of him. ‘And I see Nathan’s introduced you to my father.’
There was a pause.
‘Why are you here, Dad?’ He said the word in a mocking tone.
‘I heard you needed some help with your...investment.’
Dale had used the same tone as Jacques, and Lily felt Jacques’s arm tighten around her.
‘You told him that?’ Jacques asked Nathan after a moment.
Lily saw Nathan’s slight nod, saw the apologetic look in his eyes. It told her that maybe Nathan hadn’t meant to ambush Jacques. Maybe he’d wanted a reconciliation. But that didn’t seem to be the direction their conversation was going in.
‘Well, I don’t need your help. Haven’t needed it in a very long time, if I recall.’
‘Yes, the success of your rugby career tells me how well you’re doing in your life.’
The muscles under Lily’s hand hardened, coiled, as if she was touching an animal that was about to pounce.
‘My rugby career may not have ended in the way I had hoped for, but it made me into a much better man,’ Jacques replied in a measured tone. ‘I’m going to buy my club—without your help—and I’m going to turn it into something I never could have while I was just playing for it.’
Determination fortified every word, sending pride bursting through her body.
‘Trying to convince me, son, or yourself?’
‘That’s the trouble with you, Dad. You never really got to know me,’ Jacques said easily. ‘If you had, you’d know I never say things unless I believe them. It’s called conviction—though you wouldn’t really be familiar with the word.’
His arm dropped from Lily’s waist, and he took her hand instead.
‘You’d also know that I no longer feel the need to convince you of anything.’
With those words, Jacques pulled at her hand and they walked away.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
THERE WAS NO time for him to process his thoughts. There hadn’t been since Jade had interrupted his conversation with Lily. And now he had his feelings about Lily’s revelation and seeing his father again swirling through his head—all before he needed to speak to the people who held his fate in their hands.
‘Stop.’
Lily tugged at his hand, stopping him in a relatively empty corner of the room.
‘I have my speech soon. And the proposal...’
She drew in a breath at his words, but shook her head and then angled him so that his back was to the crowd.
‘I know. But you have to take a moment to breathe. Pretend you’re stealing an intimate moment with the woman who’s about to be your fiancée.’
She was right—he needed to breathe. He needed to deal with the rush of emotions that was making him feel nauseous before he spoke to the crowd.
Suddenly he became aware of the way his chest was heaving, and because he didn’t want to be he focused on Lily. ‘I heard the way you said “fiancée”. It scares you.’
‘Of course,’ she answered breathily. ‘Doesn’t it scare you?’
‘No.’ Yes. �
�It’s not real.’
‘Someone should tell my heart that,’ she murmured. Her eyes widened and she quickly followed that with, ‘It’s beating so fast at the prospect.’
Focusing on her words—on the possibility of what they might mean—was helping to distract him. ‘Mine is, too.’
‘You don’t have to say that to make me feel better.’
‘I’m not.’ And he realised he wasn’t.
‘I thought you weren’t scared?’
‘I’m not. But that doesn’t mean I’m not nervous.’
As he said it he realised that there was more to his confession. That it coated something he didn’t fully understand yet.
‘I’m sorry for the way things turned out tonight,’ she said.
‘It’s okay,’ he answered, and looked down at her.
As he did so, he realised that he’d been avoiding it since she’d told him about accepting money from Kyle’s family. His heart immediately softened—he worried that it had weakened—and he felt the disappointment that he’d felt at her words disappear.
That was why he’d avoided looking at her. Because though her confession should have made him doubt her—he had experience with people who thought money was the most important thing, after all—he didn’t. He couldn’t.
And he found himself feeling even more for her.
‘Is it really okay?’ She shook her head. ‘Kyle pitches up here, and then your father. It’s like the past is trying to make sure we remember it.’
She gave him a small smile.
‘For what it’s worth, I’m really proud of you. I was worried at first. I saw your face when you joined us. But then you spoke and I could tell it was just occurring to you. I was so proud.’
He felt as if her words had switched on a light in his body. It warmed him even as it pulsed in his chest, and he realised that the desire to hear those words from his father had driven him through most of his life. Even when he’d been convincing his mother to leave he’d still wanted to hear it.
And though he’d realised long ago that it wasn’t going to happen he hadn’t accepted it. Not until he’d heard Lily say it and felt that desire go free inside him.
‘It looks like you’re up,’ Lily said, nodding her head to where Jade was trying to get Jacques’s attention.
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