by Maya James
"Mr. Powers, that's great! Congratulations!" Justin is saying somewhere in the fog of this confusion. I feel him grasp my hand gently to reassure me discreetly. He knows I'm upset, but he's trying to help me see the good in this.
Mom laughs, "Honey, this is a good thing. Your father and I deserve this after all these years. This company has been seven days a week, all hours of the day and night. We've earned the right to slow down and enjoy things before we're not healthy enough to do it."
I feel my eyes get wet. "Are you sure?"
"Positive!" Dad barks. "We've already started looking for that condo in the Keys we've been bullshitting about for years. It's actually going to happen. Enough talking and dreaming—I want to do it."
"Okay, that does make me feel better," I admit. "I've been telling you guys to do this for years. I think I'm just shocked by the suddenness of it. You guys haven't mentioned it once lately."
"And now we are," Mom says with a giggle. That's enough for me, just seeing her so damn excited. She's waited long enough, they both have, and she's so damn happy.
"So we have some celebrating to do tonight?" Justin asks, eager to have everyone happy again.
I smile. "Seems so."
"I WORKED RIGHT THERE for a year during high school," I say to Justin as I wave an excited finger toward a small pet shop we we're passing. "Before I went to help my parents at their place." We're not headed anywhere in particular today, just driving around in my parent's car while I show him childhood memories he's only heard about before now; the middle school I went to, the playground Dad took me to when I was small, which is also where I had my first kiss with a boy.
"Of course you did," Justin teases. "You were probably busy feeding rainbows to the unicorns."
That makes me laugh. "Fuck you," I snarl playfully.
My parents were cleaning up from the overly-abundant breakfast they'd made this morning, insisting we don't even attempt to help. They remind me this was down time for me. Justin wanted to help them too, but they kicked him out with me, told him it was his job to get me out of the house. That was a few hours ago now.
After a few turns, we're in a small neighborhood that I know well. We pull over and sit here for a minute while I stare down the street.
"That's where Steve grew up; his parents still live there, in the red cape on the right." My voice is small and insignificant.
I feel Justin's sympathetic arm loop around me. "Do you want to go see them?" he asks carefully. "I can go with you, or stay in the car, whatever you need."
I don't answer him. I can't decide what I should do.
"Maybe this helps, or maybe it doesn't, but just remember that it was not the same guy that came to New York. Their son went missing and was never seen again, not even by you," Justin says softly.
He's right. I can't give Steve's parents anything that might help them. I don't know what happened to their child, the one they raised, the one they're longing for. That thing that came for me, it wasn't their son. At best, seeing me might unearth feelings and memories they had a hard enough time burying.
My shoulders drop. Justin feels it happen and understands that I can't see them. He pulls me close to him and kisses me on the top of my head gently. "As you wish, Warrior." His comfort and strength warms me.
Driving away doesn't end the sadness that has seeped into my chest.
"You should call Melissa, tell her we're picking her up for lunch a little earlier than we planned," Justin tells me firmly. "I think you could use your girlfriend right now."
Oh, God yes! I could totally use her smiling face right now.
"SO, TELL ME ABOUT Tommy," I say as cheerfully as I can. "Are you still in touch, or did you decide to hit it and leave it?"
Melissa blushes and laughs. "That remains to be decided," she says as a tease. "We have been in touch, mostly by text, but I'm not sure if it's going anywhere. He's thinking of visiting his family in Pittsburgh next month, so we'll see."
"You're arranging a booty call," Justin laughs.
Melissa only blushes.
"Oh my God," I squeal. "You totally are, aren't you?"
"Maybe," she says with an innocent tilt of her head. "He wasn't half bad on New Year’s, got the job done—twice."
"Nice," I say high-fiving her across the table.
"Seriously, he was very nice," Melissa continues. "I'm just not sure how to make it work from so far away. I don't see me moving to the city, but I can't ask him to move back. For now, I'm just keeping it light because I don't think it can be much else."
Maybe I made things harder for her; I only wanted her to have some fun.
Justin grabs my hand again under the table. "Was it all worth it, though?" he asks, being so blunt that he made me cringe.
"Oh hell yeah!" Melissa shrieks. "I had the time of my life."
My eyes land on Justin's and I see a large hint of JP in them right now. His reassuring face, and the way he squeezes my hand, tells me he did that to show me the good I did before I dwell on any bad.
Always looking out.
The waitress came with our drinks, interrupting us. Melissa used to waitress here herself and it was always one of our favorite places to come and hangout, it still is.
"New York was the best and meeting Tommy was wonderful. Seeing you two, the way you love and look out for each other, that was the highlight. I only want what you two have," Melissa says. "I'm completely jealous."
Justin's face has a hint of pride that makes me swoon. When he sees his effect on me, his pride grows along with his boldness. His hand burns a hole through mine.
"Tommy is good for now and a great guy, but both of us deserve better. Everyone deserves what you two have. Tommy isn't it and he knows that too," Melissa tells us. "Charity, when you and Justin met, it was immediately intense—even if you guys tried to deny it. And what's even more amazing is that all these months later it hasn't stopped in the slightest way, in fact, it's gotten stronger. I see you looking at each other; you two melt into each other every minute. That's what I want! I think I deserve it."
I lean to her and hug her, feeling a mix of hope and excitement—for her and for myself.
"Speaking about infatuations," Melissa quips after I let her go, "how are Lena and Terrence?"
"Crazy in love," I answer. I see Justin nodding his head in agreement beside me as he reclaims my hand under the table.
"That's terrific," she squeals, practically clapping her hands.
I know Justin looks at Lena like a sister, so I lower my voice. "She's been walking funny and smiling about it."
Trisha laughs right out loud and Justin can tell exactly what I said. He grumbles comically at us.
"Seriously, she's on a whole new planet," I admit proudly.
"I've never seen her so happy," Justin says suddenly. "I can't thank you enough, Charity. You gave her the one thing I couldn't get for her. I didn't know enough about the heart before you came into my life."
Big fucking swoon!
"That's so wonderful," Melissa chirps. "You two kill me. I'm going to go vomit now."
I ignore her and kiss him lightly on his full lips.
"How is Trisha doing?" Melissa asks.
"Better," I tell her. "Her strength is returning and she's done with physical therapy."
"No, I meant how she's doing."
I get her. "Not great. She has no trust left in anyone, and it's probably going to be a long time before that gets any better."
Melissa drops her head. "Can't blame her—that fucking piece of shit! Did they find him yet?"
I nod at her. "They're not even looking for him at this point, not actively. There's no sign of him, no leads for them to work on."
"Bastard!" she growls.
Our waitress comes with our food and I welcome the break. It's hard not being able to tell anyone that the prick is gone.
I find my smile after the waitress walks away. I grab my phone and flip through my playlist. "I've got her singing this one with me constantly." Cheryl
Cole starts belting out "Screw You" and Melissa laughs with me.
The first bite of cheese steak hits my mouth. "Oh, Christ—I forgot how good these are here. Holy fuck!" my high voice exclaims around a gigantic chunk of greasy, cheesy, meat-packed heaven.
"Seriously!" Justin chokes. "That's straight out of Philly."
Melissa nods as she swallows. "Yes it is. The owner came here from Philly about sixteen years ago and his family ships everything over from the same suppliers. He says the rolls are the most important part so he won't get them from anywhere else."
"So good," he mumbles through a second bite.
"You mean, you're professionally trained mouth has a soft spot for dripping, Cheez Whiz-filled steaks?" I ask, shocked.
He winks and take another bite.
"What do you mean he's trained?" Melissa asks, curious why I had said that.
"Mr. Security Company here actually went to culinary school before hitting it big in technology. He's actually quite good," I boast.
"No shit?" Melissa asks. Without waiting for an answer, she continues, "Oh, yeah, your ass is cooking me something while you're in town."
Thanks for making me snort, Melissa!
We're all still laughing when I see someone familiar walk by the windows near where we're sitting. He's younger than us by a couple of years at least, and pretty damn good looking. Dark brown hair. Dark eyes. A strong jaw like Justin's. He seems lost, or maybe surprised at seeing me, not expecting me to be so close to the window.
Where the hell do I know him from?
I convince myself it must be someone from high school, someone that I don't remember clearly. There are tons of men in this town that I have never met. His face seems a bit fresher in my memory to me than that, but nothing else make sense.
"Wasn't that guy at the Grill in New York?" Melissa suddenly asks.
Holy fuck—that's it!
He was at a table near the front, watching every move we made before Terrence met us.
"No, I don't think so," I reply. I have no fucking idea how I sound so nonchalant when my heart is beating out of my chest, but Melissa cannot know how God damn scared I am right now.
I reverse our hands under the table and grab Justin's thick fingers—hard! My eyes tell him everything he needs to know.
Yes! This guy was in New York!
He's following me.
I'm terrified!
Suddenly, I'm sitting next to bottled rage. Justin's protective instincts draw him out of his chair, demand he run out after the guy and pluck his head from his neck, but he can't, not here, not now.
"You sure?" Melissa asks. "Because that really looked like him."
I take my hand away from Justin's and lay it on his tense leg to help calm him, help both of us, and I give Melissa my best uninterested shoulder shrug.
We can't touch him right now, and he's already gone; best to let it go for now.
It must be related to Senator Lewis. I just can't figure out why their following me instead of Justin.
"GIRL, ARE YOU REALLY going to call every night?" Trisha snaps at me.
I'm smiling already. "What the fuck kind of way is that to answer a phone?"
It's good to hear her laughing.
"I can barely hear you," she says. "Do you have me on speaker or is this just a shitty connection because you're out in God’s country someplace?"
My second snort-laugh in one day, really?
"Hey, Bitch," I shout, "you wanna move the phone to your good ear?"
I hear a bunch of rustling and loud claps of laughter. "I can't believe I did that," she chuckles when she comes back. "Hell, I've been holding the phone the same way my whole life. It's gonna take a while to make a new habit."
"I forgive you. That was fucking hilarious though, and I'm glad to find you in a good mood."
"Suck it," Trisha says. "How's our prince; what's he up to?"
"Shining his armor," I reply.
"Good." Her voice had gotten softer. "I miss you guys."
"We miss you too, Sweetie. Everything going okay? Are you eating the food we sent?"
"Yeah," she sighed. "What's with the Junior's cheesecake at every meal?"
I smile privately. "Memories."
"You freaks," Trisha barks at me. "I'm gonna weigh ten extra pounds by the time you get back."
A quick moment of silence passes.
"Do you have any plans while we're away?"
"Just going out with a couple of girl’s tomorrow night to see if I can still hang," she answers.
I'm very proud of her for that. It's a huge step; getting out with some girls and knowing at some point, invited or not, some guy is likely to hit on her. I think she's ready for that. Something meaningless and simple she could handle easily, as long as there's no trust needed, no commitment.
"I can hear you thinking," she jokes. "I'll be fine. They're not all assholes, most of them, but not all." Her laugh is contagious. "Seriously, I wanna get back out there eventually, and this is a good baby step."
"No, I know you're right, and I'm happy you're doing it, but—and I mean this—you call me if there's any problems. I don't care what time it is, and I don't care what the problem is. If you just need to be talked down, you call," I tell her.
"Thank you, baby," she says, meaning it sincerely.
Trisha and I talk for a few more minutes, long enough for me to feel better about having left her, and then we hang up. Before we ended the call I heard the shower turn on in the bathroom near me. Justin had gone in to shave when I was calling her, and I can clearly picture his beautiful body standing under the water.
There are knots everywhere in my back and neck. As I stand, I feel nearly every one of them pop and there is no denying the affect that all this stress is having on me. Justin was right, I need to slow down and take these few days off. The group had confirmed they are all in to see this thing with the senator through, no backing out. And then with everything happening with Trisha—I'm exhausted. I wasn't really aware of what it's doing to me; it's like withdrawing off something toxic.
My knees start to quiver as I move towards the bathroom. It feels like my whole body is humming and vibrating, ready to give way.
The bathroom door pushes open easily exposing the brightness inside, the light colored walls and marble counter. Justin is in the shower and the curtain hides him from his chest down, but the top is transparent. Water streams down his head and shoulders before he sees me. Then he notices me in the doorway, looking haggard and drained, and I watch his concern overtake his expression and posture. His prefect green eyes beckon me in. "Undress," he says with soft control, pulling the shower curtain open.
I realize my hands are obeying him, undoing and dropping clothing to the floor around my feet. I cross the room and step in with him. The hot water feels incredible.
Justin's arms wrap around me and he draws me in, leaning my fatigued body against the warmth of his. "Just relax, Warrior. There's nothing for you to do right now, nothing to think about. I have you."
My soul collapses into his arms, and he holds me up as promised.
"Let go," he says. "You do so much for everyone, Charity. You do so much for me that I don't know what I'd do without you now, and you deserve a break. I'll take care of you."
The hot water rushes all around us, drenching the knots from my muscles. His strong hands press into my sides and back, his solid body gives me comfort.
"I'll do everything and be everything that you need, because you do that for me every day," Justin continues.
A long, exhausted breath explodes from my chest onto his neck where my head rests. For a short while I can't even move.
Eventually I find my strength and I begin supporting my own weight again. Justin steps us back deeper into the water, drenching us. He carefully fixes my wet hair away from my face. "You're so beautiful," he whispers. I feel his lips press onto the top of my head.
One of his arms lets go and grabs my shampoo from where I left it yeste
rday. Its familiar scent wafts into the shower before he even begins rubbing it into my hair. He turns me and dumps the shampoo on, letting me do nothing while he massages my scalp. When he's done, he rinses it out thoroughly and picks up my body wash.
It amazes me how gentle he can make his touch, with hands that have beaten and killed. They've strangled the life out of people but on me they are tender and caring, kneading the life back in to me. He massages my back deeply with the body wash and starts working his way around my body. My nipples do not resist the chance to harden as he rubs them.
"Every inch of you is breathtaking," his soft voice convinces me.
He rinses the soap off me before continuing with new, fresh lather. The pressure he uses on my feet and calves relaxes them so much they don't want to hold me up. He slides over my wet thighs and ass, gently cupping my warrior parts.
Of course they react, tingling and twitching, begging for more, but I don't think that's Justin's objective tonight. I want whatever he's offering, I don't want to think.
Gently, he pulls me closer, embracing me with one arm so that we are buried in each other's necks and the length of our bodies are touching. My hands go to his tight sides, as if we might dance in the water.
Justin is still cupping my vulva. Softly, his fingers move through the wet folds of my labia, not entirely penetrating into me, but not teasing me, either.
I squeeze his sides gently, letting him know to continue.
His finger slips up the middle and finds my clitoris. Justin's thumb pulls its hood back, and his finger begins circling on my swollen tip. My breath spills out into his neck and chest, deepening with each moment.
By my ear, I feel his soft lips. "Relax, Warrior. I won't hurt you. There won't be any teasing; you don't need to beg. Tonight I'm the one begging. I'm begging that you relax and let life catch up to you."
The tingling becomes throbbing under his steady finger. I squeeze him again, telling him it's getting close. My nipples are sliding around the wetness on his chest, and I feel like I'm wrapped in a blanket of warm pleasure.
Now the throbbing is nearly reaching my ears. My entire body is looking for this release.
