“Contrary to what everyone would have you believe—probably myself included—Jarred was far from perfect.”
Kayne couldn't help but cock a skeptical eyebrow. From what he’d heard, Jarred had been a saint. Yet he knew it wasn't the truth; her reaction last night had proved that.
“Nobody knows I'm aware, but Jarred cheated on me. More than once.”
There it was—he'd been right. The selfish bastard. Now the question was, had the abuse been limited to emotional or extended to physical?
***
Somehow whispering in the dark had lulled Jess into a false sense of security and before she even realized she'd decided to confide in Kayne, the words were flowing from her. “I didn't know about the affair until long after the fact. Her name was Megan. When she found out she was pregnant, she planned to have an abortion, but Jarred talked her out of it. Offered her money to pay her “expenses”. In short, he'd bought his child and her silence.
“Megan moved to Phoenix before she started showing and had Isabelle in some hotel room with Jarred and Cody's help, so there would be no record of Isabelle’s birth. She used the state's Safe Haven law to “abandon” the baby at the fire station on a night when Jarred and Cody were working.”
Jess smiled sadly. “The first time I saw her, she was in Jarred’s arms, and I just knew he was never going to let her go. Sure enough, he all but begged CPS to let us keep her since we were certified. She was so beautiful and tiny, only a couple days old, and I fell instantly in love with her.”
Kayne brushed a curl off Jess’s face, tucking it behind her ear. “How did you find out?”
“Other than that she looked like Jarred?” Jess had been so naïve. No matter how many times she'd heard people claim Isabelle looked like Jarred, the possibility of what he'd done had never crossed her mind until the day she'd accidentally overheard Jarred and Cody talking about it.
“Megan wanted to see Isabelle. I heard Jarred tell Cody she was blackmailing him. She wanted time with him and Isabelle or she’d tell me everything. Megan hadn’t been his first, and she planned on letting me know it.” Megan hadn't been the last either.
“I sent her a text from Jarred's phone, pretending to be him, and she happily agreed to meet me. I figured she’d back off once she couldn’t use Jarred’s secrets against him, but what she really wanted was Jarred and her baby back.”
Jess brushed the bangs out of her face. “I told her that if she didn't walk away, I’d make sure God and everybody knew what she'd done. I reminded her that her congressman father’s very conservative constituents wouldn't look favorably on a home wrecker who'd been enticed to sell her baby instead of aborting it like she’d originally planned. In the end, Megan quietly walked away.”
***
Kayne leaned back, reeling from what he’d just heard. What a dick! Not only was it immoral, it was flat out illegal. It momentarily made Kayne wonder if Jarred had known Gracie’s true identity. If so, the truth had died with him. Kayne mentally shook his head. He needed to focus on the here and now and what Jessica was telling him. “Did you confront him?”
Jess quickly looked away. “No.”
Kayne shot to his feet. “Why the hell not?” Jesus! Admittedly, he didn't know Jess well, but he'd never imagined this side of her. The mousy side royally pissed him off. Albeit it was on her behalf, but still—he was pissed.
Jess threw off the covers, flipped them back over Gracie, and stormed into the hidden stairway. Kayne was right behind her when they reached the first floor. “Why in God’s name would you let him treat you that way?” Kayne demanded.
Jess threw her hands in the air, the action stretching her all too thin tank-top across her braless breasts. “God, are you really going to make me spell it out for you?”
Kayne guiltily ripped his gaze away from those beautiful full breasts. “I guess you're going to have to, because I don't understand.”
“Of course you don't. How could you?” She crossed her arms, covering her nipples. “You've never had to sleep with me. So I'll spare us both the disappointment. I wasn't enough for Jarred, and I sure as hell won't be enough for someone like you. So please, just be discreet, I'd rather not have your girlfriends flaunted in my face or the children to find out.”
***
Jess turned on her heel, fully intending to bolt. Could she be any more pathetic?
She hadn't taken half a step before steel bands of muscle lifted her off the ground and pulled her back into a warm wall of granite. “You do not get to drop a bomb like that and walk away,” he said softly.
Jess struggled to free herself, but he was an immovable object. “Please, let me go,” she pleaded. She couldn't face him. Not after what she'd just said.
“Not until you listen to me.” He sat her feet on the ground, but continued to hold her tight. “I'm so sorry he hurt you, but I'm not him. For as long as we are married—be that the next ninety days or sixty-years—I will be faithful to you and only you.”
Jess nodded, hoping he'd just let her go. She knew he really didn't mean it, but she wasn't going to fight about it.
Kayne’s heavy sigh fluttered across her neck. Her nipples tightened in response. “I can tell you don't believe me.” It was as if he’d read her mind. “That's okay. For now. But you will learn to trust me, Jessica. Just like you'll learn that you could never be a disappointment.” He pulled her closer, his hot breath on her neck. “I've held you,” he said. “Tasted your sweet lips. I've seen the desire burning in your eyes, felt the flames lick my skin.” Kayne splayed his palm low over Jess's belly, pulled her tight, and she shivered when she felt his arousal against the upper swell of her butt. She wasn't sure what the emotion was, but she knew it wasn't fear, not of him.
“Did he force you, Jess?” He gentled his hold.
“No, he...I...” How could she tell him sex was uncomfortable for her? Her first time had been on her wedding night, and she'd expected there to be some pain, but it had been more than a little, and she'd been in tears by the time he was done. After that, while not painful, it had never been anything like what she'd read about in books. She'd never orgasmed during intercourse, and Jarred wasn't much for foreplay. At first she hadn't cared about more than pleasing him, she'd just wanted the closeness she felt by giving herself to him. But it hadn't taken long before he started complaining about her lack of response, then her lack of interest. Finally, his interest disappeared too. Except for those moments in the darkest hours of night when he'd reach for her in his sleep.
She'd been naive enough to believe it was his subconscious professing his true feelings for her, but the truth was, he was reaching for someone else, someone in his dreams, and she was only a warm body to live out the fantasy with. And when he was done, he'd get angry and blame her for seducing him, before storming off to God knew where, sometimes for days at a time.
Kayne buried his nose in her hair. Inhaled deep. “Even if he was your husband, it didn't take away your right to say no. It doesn't take away your right now, either.”
Jess shook her head. “He didn't force me.” He hadn't needed to; she'd never said no to him. Not once. She’d always submitted, and he’d always been gentle with her, at least in bed.
“You don't have to tell me. Whatever it is can be your secret, but know this: When I take you to bed, it will be different from whatever it was or wasn't with him. I'll go slow, because I want to learn all your sensitive spots. Like here.” He brushed his lips behind her ear.
Jess shuddered, feeling her nipples pucker painfully tight in response.
***
Kayne turned her to face him. He knew he needed to be careful with her, needed to go slow so he didn't scare her away. “Or here,” he said huskily. He grazed his teeth across the pulse point at the base of her neck.
He knew he was playing with fire. Knew he wouldn't be able to finish what he was starting. At least not the way he wanted to. He worked his way up her neck and across her jaw, placing gentle kisses along the way. All the while, he s
lowly traced his hands up her ribcage, lazily drawing circles with his thumbs until he brushed the underside of her breasts and elicited a soft gasp from her.
“Okay?” he whispered. He pulled back slightly to see her response.
“Yes.” Her voice was breathless, her eyes glazed with want.
Her tank top was old and worn, leaving little to the imagination. Her breasts were spectacular—round plump mounds with the nipples tilted up just slightly. Perfect. He brushed the tips with the pads of his thumbs, and she gasped.
“So responsive,” he whispered against her ear. “I need you to promise me one thing, Jessica.”
“Wh-what?” Her chest rose and fell quickly, her words little more than a breath.
He nuzzled her neck, traced the whorl of her ear with his tongue. “I need you to know that I will never hurt you, that I will never force you. Ever. In return, I need you to promise that you'll be honest.”
“Oh-okay.” Her fingers dug into his biceps as she clung to him.
“I want to put my mouth on you.” Kayne flicked her turgid nipples with his thumbs, and Jess whimpered. “Okay?”
“Yes.” She moaned, so he did it again.
He bent low and closed his mouth over her right nipple, taking an easy drag though the thin material. Jess trembled in his arms. “So sensitive.”
The thin material was too much, though, and he'd gathered up the hem and removed it before his lust-filled mind could stop him. He eyed her breasts appreciatively. “Beautiful.” God wasn’t that an understatement. He’d never seen such natural beauty in his life.
High tight breasts, creamy white skin with mouthwatering, pale raspberry nipples and aureoles so light they were barely there. This time when he suckled a perfect little tit into his mouth, she moaned, laced her fingers through his hair, and arched into him, even as she pulled him against her. That's it, baby. Trust me.
He alternated back and forth from nipple to nipple, while his hands roamed her body. “I want to touch you. Just touch, nothing more.”
She didn't pull away as his fingers tugged on the drawstring, freeing her pants at the waist. Slowly he slid his hand lower, palming her belly as his fingers trailed down, giving her plenty of time to pull away, to stop him. Kayne couldn’t suppress the groan when he discovered she was naked under those pants. The tips of his fingers slid through her soft curls and continued down to caress her slick folds.
“Open for me, baby.” He nibbled her ear as he nudged her legs further apart with his knee. “You're so hot. Is that sweet honey for me?”
***
Jess could do little more than nod. She was on fire. Every nerve ending in her body felt raw, and that terrified her. This felt so much like those things she'd only ever read about. But none of those heroines had ever found themselves in a situation like this, she was sure. And then she stopped thinking as one long finger stroked down her slit. She couldn't stop Kayne’s name from falling from her lips.
“That's it, baby.” He circled the entrance to her core with a thick masculine finger.
Tiny tremors skittered through her body, awaking a deep ache within. Even touching herself had never felt like this. To her shock, her hips thrust forward, her body trying to take Kayne's tantalizing digit inside.
“Shh...not yet, baby. Easy.” He stroked, never touching her clit directly, teasing lazy circles around it, poising for penetration only to retreat again and again. He suckled her breasts, first one, then the other. Using his free hand, he teased her nipples, gently pinching and rolling each in turn, keeping her keen.
Then he was on his knees, and before she realized what he was doing, Kayne leaned in and scented her. “God, you smell incredible,” he mumbled.
Jess was about to protest—Jarred had only ever gone down on her once, and he'd obviously not enjoyed it since he'd never done it again. But before she could form a coherent thought, Kayne had parted her nether-lips and swept his tongue across her most sensitive flesh, once, twice, and then again before gently suckling. The thick masculine finger that had promised more sank deep, then dragged deliciously through her wetness only to be joined by a second, pressing in, stretching her even as her muscles clamped down hard, and she shattered without warning.
White light blinded her vision. Her whole body contracted around its epicenter as a tidal wave rolled over her, pulling her under deep and hard, then throwing her back to the surface, gasping and clinging, violently shuddering. He drew out and plunged in again, relentless in his assault on her body and her senses. She could do little more than hold on as he used his lips and fingers and tongue to bring her to orgasm a second time. His name ripped from her lips.
***
Kayne scooped Jess up, holding her close. He had yet to put on his Kevlar vest, so he was able to truly appreciate the feel of her body against his. But it served as a reminder that now wasn't the right time, and that he was seriously late for work. He continued down the hall, into the bedroom, and settled her on the bed, then sat beside her. He braced one hand on her other side so he could lean in close. “Baby, thank you.” He kissed her deeply, letting her sate herself on his lips. “I’ll see you tonight.”
Jess's eyes flew open. “But you didn't...” She abruptly stopped and looked away. Swallowed hard.
Ah, Fuck! Way to go, moron!
“I want you, Jess. So damned bad.” He took her hand and placed it on his aching cock. He was so primed that when she reflexively wrapped her slender fingers around him, he nearly came. “Don't doubt that for even a second. I want you. But not yet. I wanted to show you the fire I see within you. You are a beautiful, responsive woman, and I'm sorry I can't finish this. You have no idea how sorry. But when you're ready to let me take you to bed, I'm going to need hours and hours, not minutes, with you.”
Kayne stood up, slowly backing away, all too aware of the way her gaze fastened on his tented uniform pants. He couldn’t help but grin when the thought popped into his mind: The tan uniform made everything look bigger.
“Thank you.” She swallowed hard, again. “Be safe…Gracie just found you...she deserves more than stories of you.”
Jesus, he didn't deserve her!
Kayne stepped back toward the bed and bending low, braced his hands on either side of her. He kissed her once, twice, and again. The pressure was gentle with no demands, only an attempt to convey what he couldn't put into words, what he, himself, didn't even understand yet. And when she returned that last kiss, the power of it shot straight through him, in equal parts, to his groin and his heart.
Damn! If he wasn't careful, he'd end up in serious trouble.
TWENTY
Saturday proved busy as always. In addition to Jess's normal routine, and, after a long debate with herself, she decided to get a room ready for Kayne. After this morning, she wasn't sure where she wanted him to sleep, but her body screamed that she wanted him. Just thinking about the things he'd done to her with his mouth and hands, the way she'd shattered without warning, scared the hell out of her as much as it turned her on.
Jarred had been a selfish lover. It was the only logical conclusion, because she would not admit to any possibility that her response had been to Kayne himself. She reasoned it could have been anyone with her that morning, and she would have responded the same way.
Ocean front property anyone?
After some debate, she decided to give Kayne the in-law suite. The room was the largest, aside from the master suite, with a king-sized bed already in place and a double Jacuzzi in the bathroom. It would be the most comfortable for Kayne, and it was the only free room in their closed-off wing of the mansion. Though she very rarely used the rooms in the main part of the house for work, she kept their living separate.
She pulled out the new linens she'd recently purchased, a beautiful silk duvet set in a block patchwork pattern of blue, silver, and chocolate. She kept the accent pillows to a minimum, and, with Maddy's help, installed the coordinating curtains. The overall look was masculine enough to suit Kayne, wh
ile still homey.
Yet, when it came time to move his clothes and personal items, Jess couldn't work up the courage to actually do it. In the end, she decided to let him make the final decision and moved on with other items on her list.
Kayne had several boxes of beautiful old leather-bound, first-edition books, printed in Hebrew and Cyrillic, which she carefully placed on upper shelves in the library’s second-story stacks. Well out of the reach of little hands. When that was done, Jess and the kids made cupcakes for the party and set them aside to cool. While the kids made birthday cards for the birthday girl, Jess carefully cleared out and packed up a display cabinet full of Jarred's antique toy fire trucks. Then she unpacked and replaced them with Kayne's impressive collection of beautiful Russian artifacts.
Jess was truly surprised at the quality workmanship on items he’d claimed were Romanov era replicas. The Faberge eggs especially appealed to her, specifically the large blue and white one with the elephant on top. The other three were just as beautiful: a golden egg with red and white enamel and what looked like cupids arrows and red stones; a mauve and gold egg covered in a trellis of jewels, containing a silver swan on a jewel like lake, and last, but certainly not least, a pale blue enamel over gold egg with a flower basket on top.
Additionally he had several jewel-encrusted swords, a set of daggers, a large, intricately inlaid wooden chest covered in jewel-like stones, and a smaller gold and silver chest with stones inlaid to resemble stalks of wheat with a matching tiara inside.
Kayne had told her these items, along with the books and a collection of artwork still stored at his parents, had been a wedding gift from Oksana's parents. With the exception of the inlaid wood chest and the tiara. Kayne said the wood chest was full of costume jewelry, and that Oksana had become upset when her mother had shown up with the gift. As such, Oksana had never allowed their children to play with the things. Curious, Jess tried to open the box to view its content, but apparently it had a hidden lock, because it wouldn’t open for her.
Razing Kayne Page 17
