by Lynn Red
“I’m the one that let you find it!” the woman screeched. “I sent it with them so you’d know who was after you! What the hell is wrong with you?”
Jake rattled his chains, testing their toughness. “I’m looking at you, and I still don’t know who you are. Why would leaving a metal tooth on the ground tell me anything at all? Seems like a real Bond villain kind of thing to do, and as everyone on earth knows, that’s about the stupidest way to get attention there is. But, while we’re here, why don’t you explain your entire evil plot to me and I’ll tell you what I think. Sound good?”
Mali managed to get her head off the floor and arch her neck just enough to see the tiny figure standing in front of the opposite cell door. “Cell” is a generous description. Really, it was more like a freestanding closet made up of metal paneling. The door was just a big, heavy-looking wooden door with a slit cut in it about waist-high, which struck Mali as very funny. Then again, when she saw the little creature standing in front of said door, it made perfect sense.
“Sure!” the little thing said. “Here’s the deal. I have you in a locked cage. I know you broke the laws about not changing a human without written consent of the alpha and the town council. And I also know that said alpha is your brother, which, by the way, I think the council will find to give him quite a conflict of interest.”
“That was a lot more direct than I—”
“I’m not finished!” the little thing squealed. She started hopping around frantically in front of Jake’s cage, as though she was too angry, or too excited, to keep still for more than about four seconds at a time.
“She’s like a greased up weasel on Adderall,” Mali said under her breath. Jake, who somehow heard, laughed out loud before he nodded in agreement.
The diminutive ball of anger stuffed her fists into her hips and stomped her feet one after another, throwing a nearly adorable temper tantrum that made her seem more silly than terrifying. It really took Mali a lot of concentration to remember they were being held captive, and no matter how bizarre their captor looked, she was clearly dangerous, and they were clearly not in a very good way.
“I said I’m not finished!” she said. “And since your brother, the alpha, is going to want to protect you from the law, he’ll happily pay me a shit load of money and let me steal the town helicopter to get away and start a new life somewhere else. Somewhere no one has heard of Petunia Lewis.” She started to stare off into space as though in a daydream. “Nothing will chase me, nothing will stop me, and I’ll get to sit around my new house, which will be underground by the way, because this is really nice and the power bills are almost nothing since it stays right at sixty-five all year around and... say, you have some really nice arms.”
Jake went to rub his head, but had apparently forgotten the chains binding his arms. They clattered again, Petunia laughed in a snorty, seal-like kind of way. She hopped up on one foot, then the next. One after another, she hoped from toe to toe, clapping as she did. “I’m a goddamn genius!” she cried out a few moments later. “But you do have really nice arms. Too bad they’re chained up, huh?”
“Want me to pose for you?” Jake asked. He shot Mali a brief gaze that she only caught because she was staring straight at him. “I mean, you seem kinda lonely. Petunia, right? That’s what you said?”
“I’m not lonely,” she snapped. “I’m tired of being haunted by what I did in the past. So what, I murdered some vegetables and almost flooded out the town. I did my time, baby, I did it all. Sort of. Actually, I didn’t, but I behaved really well so they let me out. They kept telling me I was crazy but I’m not. See? Do I seem crazy to you?”
Jake looked at her for a second, and then shot a glance at Mali. He shook his head, wisely. “Not at all,” he said. “Seems like you just know what you want, and you really like my arms.”
Petunia cackled excitedly. “See?” she asked as she slapped Jimmy right in the stomach. “He gets it! There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m not crazy! I’m not! It feels like it’s been forever since someone realized that. Thank you, Jake,” she said with a grin, as she languidly lay against the door. “You’re a real gentleman, you know?”
“So I hear,” he said. “So, posing? Want to see some real muscles?”
Mali could hardly contain herself, but as she watched, she saw Petunia start to twitch. It was almost like she realized something not quite to her liking was about to happen. At the same time, she couldn’t control her desire to see said posing, and was just about to let him semi-free when Jimmy, the enormous biker werewolf, grabbed her shoulders. “He’s trickin’ you,” he said in his slow, slightly slurred drawl. “He ain’t tellin’ the truth.”
“Don’t you think I realize that?” she asked. “How stupid do you think I am? Do you think I care that he’s trying to trick me? He’s in a damn cage! And look at those arms, for god’s sake!”
Jimmy, for his part, just shook his head. “I don’t... I don’t know about all this.”
“Shut up!” Petunia screeched. “Just shut up! There isn’t anything you can do to stop me! We’ve got them caught, we have everything I want, what the hell’s wrong with getting a little show on top of it?” She was getting so excited that she was hopping, once again, from one foot to the other, and hardly managing to keep herself from waving her arms around. After the hopping, she started squealing again, and then chewing on her fingernails. After the fingernail snack, the diminutive Napoleon began rocking back on her heels.
“This is so good!” she squeaked, apparently about to burst at the seams. “It was so easy, too! I hardly had to do anything except lay out some money and hire some goons!”
“Wasn’t that easy,” Jimmy said with a decided down-turn in his voice. “Ma’am.”
Petunia wasn’t hearing any of it though. The little ball of energy hopped up on the door to Mali’s cage and gripped the bars with her long toes, then slid down to the ground. “And you!” she screamed, “I’ve never even seen a changed human. This is gonna be fun. I can do all kinds of horribly painful experiments on you. I can figure out how to turn myself into a werewolf,” she trailed off for a moment, thoughtfully pinching her chin between thumb and forefinger. “No, no I don’t think I’d like that at all. And what the hell use do I have for being furry and smelly anyway?”
Petunia was very much in a world of her own. Her head swam with possibilities, as she turned slowly around on her heels, Mali began to wonder if there wasn’t just a little bit of sadness behind the apparent insanity. She watched the tiny creature with great interest, and then shivered heavily. A nasty chill slid down Mali’s back.
No matter what sort of fascination Petunia held for her, the realization that she was sitting in a makeshift prison cell, and Jake, the only man on earth who could possibly protect her—if she needed protecting—was locked up right across from her. A foreboding sense settled into her bones. An unseen, unfelt chill blew through Mali and raised goosebumps down her arms and her belly. Jake shifted his weight and took a deep breath. “So what are we gonna do?” he asked a few moments later. “My brother will work out whatever sort of deal you want. This is crazy.”
“For now,” Petunia said, “just relax. You know, lie down or pop a squat, whatever makes you happy. As for me, I’ve got something else to do.”
She bent down and wrestled briefly with something she fished out of her pocket. When she straightened herself again, Mali noticed silver light glinting in her mouth. “She’s got a fancy grill?” Mali asked, not entirely meaning for it to be aloud.
Petunia snapped her teeth together, thrusting her head toward Mali’s bars like a pissed off snapping turtle when someone tries to pick it up from the ground.
“You missing this?” Jake asked and once again tried to move his arms, forgetting he was chained. “Er... are you missing the silver tooth in my pocket that I was going to grab and dramatically present?”
Petunia laughed in a slobbery, wet, slightly twisted way. “No babycakes,” she said, “I made
extras. Like a calling card, you know? I think you need to see that I’m serious, so... come on, Jimmy, let’s go call the alpha. After I eat, I mean.”
At least half of the sounds she made came out in wet lisps. As soon as the door slammed behind the clearly disturbed bunny rabbit and her goon, a florescent light flickered on overhead. Mali looked up at it, and winced as it buzzed. The light wavered, and for the first time, Mali realized that hypersensitive senses weren’t always a good thing.
“That light’s gonna make me throw up,” she said flatly. “How do you deal with this?”
Jake didn’t reply, at least not at first. He growled a low, dangerous sound, and then managed to shift his weight enough to loop the chain on his left hand around itself. A few seconds later, Mali heard metal grinding against metal. “What are you doing?” she asked.
“Getting us out of here,” Jake answered simply. “I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let that shrimpy thing keep you and me in a box. I told you I’d protect you, didn’t I?”
“I actually don’t remember if you did,” she said with a little chuckle. “Things have been happening kinda fast, you know? Life seems to be coming from all around me, and I don’t really know how to take it.” She started shaking as she admitted to the world what she’d been hiding for the past three days. “I can’t handle this. I’m sitting here in a cage and I’m shaking and terrified and barely able to keep from throwing up.”
Jake didn’t say anything. He just kept grinding the chains. Mali just had to keep going. Her guts were a pressure cooker of nerves and she could feel the valve starting to whistle louder and louder. “If someone wanted to drill a hole in my head to let the pressure out, I’d be willing to entertain that possibility.”
“You’re gonna be okay,” was the first thing Jake said. “I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. I didn’t go all this way and I didn’t do this to you to let you get hurt. Not a chance in hell.”
His gravelly, gruff voice sent a wave of warmth and comfort surging through Mali’s body that replaced the awful chill from moments before. She held her breath for a moment, and then let it out in a slow, rattling exhalation. “I’m sorry for freaking out,” she said softly. She pushed herself up off the ground, and was almost fully standing when her knees got wobbly again. Mali half walked, and half stumbled backward against the cinderblock wall, which she promptly slid down. The scratchy brick plucked at her shirt and then at her skin, sending a thrill of sensation up her spine.
“You didn’t freak out,” Jake said in between grunts of effort. “If anything, I’m the one who should be apologizing. But instead of doing that, I’m gonna fix what I made a mess of.”
As he ground away on the chain, the scent of iron briefly met his nose. And then, a soft snoring sound came across the way. He laughed softly and called Mali’s name. When she didn’t respond, he nodded to himself, and went right back to work.
“I’m not gonna let you down, Mali,” he whispered. “I promise.”
He thought he heard a purr from her cage, or maybe it was just a sleep snort. Either way, at that exact moment, Jake Danniken made the decision that he wasn’t going to stop until she was safe. It didn’t matter what it took, it didn’t even matter if it killed him on the way.
He wasn’t stopping until that woman was safe.
Jake listened to her sleepy breathing. “Because I think I love you,” he whispered.
She didn’t hear, at least he didn’t think she did. In the back of his mind, though, he sort of hoped she had.
7
“What in the hell?” Erik Danniken, Jamesburg alpha, awoke at around ten in the morning that Thursday, to knocks on his door. He hated people knocking on his door. “Izzy? You here?”
From the other end of the house, his mate clicked on the intercom she’d installed for the baby. “No, I’ve been up since normal people wake up,” she said. “Frederick has a doctor’s appointment in a half hour so I’ll be gone for... god, probably the rest of the day. You know how Jenga is, he never manages to not chat for an hour or three.”
Jenga, the town witchdoctor, who was assisted by his two hand-crafted helpers: a giant re-animated bear named Atlas, who enjoyed nothing more than chugging lilac water and various colognes, and Sara, Atlas’s mate who was similarly sewn. Due to a lack of more traditional medical practitioners in Jamesburg, he’d gotten an honest-to-god medical degree. Turns out, he was kind of a genius, and blazed through three years of coursework in just over six months. He made a special deal with the head of the medical school to skip his residency, owing to his very peculiar sort of bedside manner.
Well, and owing to the fact that after a twelve hour shift, the chicken feet and bones in his beard really started to stink, and that Atlas started getting separation anxiety that threatened to destroy entire blocks of Jamesburg at a time. It was a mutual agreement based on Jenga never practicing anywhere except Jamesburg, but that wasn’t an issue. Somehow, the witchdoctor just never felt quite comfortable anywhere but home. As it happened, nowhere else but home was comfortable with him, either, so it all worked out.
“Make sure he doesn’t kick down any walls when he gets his shots,” Erik said. “It cost me like eight hundred bucks to get that stuff rebuilt, and I’d rather not have Jenga thinking I owe him anything. Even if I do.”
“He’s so good with Freddie,” Izzy said as she walked down the hallway and poked her head into the bedroom door. Frederick was strapped to her chest with a backpack device that Erik insensitively called a “papoose-to-go” in his endearingly offensive way. “And the only reason he made you pay for that was because you offered. He said not to worry about it, but you already had your wallet out.”
“Yeah well, what can I say? I’m not the kind of jackass whose kid punches a hole in the wall after he gets a shot and then I refuse to pay for it. I mean, I’m a jackass in other ways, but—”
“Open up in there, Danniken!” a screechy voice from outside the bedroom window came. It was accompanied by a series of knocks that rattled the window frame. “I know you’re in there you lazy bastard, open up!”
“That voice is familiar,” Erik said quietly as he rolled out of bed. He kissed Frederick on the head, then pulled Izzy against him, and kissed her much too hungrily for morning time. She sighed, smiled, and gave him a quick peck back.
“You’ve got three meetings at the courthouse starting at noon, and then you have Complainer’s Court tonight at six. I’ll come by after I drop Freddie off at pre-school with Lilah, all right?”
“How’s she doing?” Erik asked, as he casually pulled his jeans up. “Should probably take her a casserole or something. When’s the baby supposed to come?”
Izzy laughed. “About six months too late, whenever it decides to show up. That poor girl. She’s been a mess since the second month. I guess that’s why raccoons and bears don’t usually end up mating?”
“Oh she’ll be fine,” Erik said. “She’s a limber girl.”
He somehow said that without a shred of irony or mindfulness. Izzy arched her eyebrow at him. Slowly, he turned to face her. “What?” he asked. “Why are you staring at me?”
“Limber? Really, Erik? How would you know that?”
He flushed a deep crimson across his cheeks and neck. “I mean, er, she’s a raccoon. I mean, they’re limber, right?”
Hardly able to keep herself from laughing, Izzy meant to continue the cross examination, but the pounding on the window interrupted her thoughts. “Open up, Danniken!”
“I swear I’ve heard that voice before,” Erik said aloud, but distant. “Who do I know with a really squeaky voice, who would be pissed off enough at me to bang on my window, and would also be either dumb enough or brave enough to do it before noon?”
“Either open the door or I’ll, uh... I’ll wait until you do, damn it! I’m a busy bunny, you get the hell out here right now!”
“Did you make coffee?” Erik asked casually, completely ignoring the increasing volume of Petunia’s jeering
.
Izzy grabbed her keys off the nightstand. “Yeah, it’s still in the pot. Might want to let it warm up for a few minutes, but it’s made.”
“Thanks babe,” Erik said. “What would I do without you?”
She shrugged. “Probably be less able to completely ignore whoever that is banging on the window. You should address that before you end up having to spend the weekend re-caulking.”
Erik snickered, and then laughed for a moment. “I’ll re-caulk something,” he said, and then grinned widely in pride. “Get it? I’ll re-caulk something, I said!”
Izzy rolled her eyes so hard they almost clacked in the back of her skull. “Right, thanks. Yeah, I got it. Now will you please deal with whoever that is before I deal with you?”
“I’ll deal with you!” Erik said. “Get it, I—”
She hushed him with a finger on his lips. “Yes,” she said, “thank you very much for the keen humor that would have been at home in a National Lampoon movie from the 90s. For the record, those were the ones that weren’t ever funny.”
Erik though was still in a world very centered on being very proud of his joke. He was looking at the mirror, buttoned his shirt, and was just about to start singing to himself as he lifted the brush to his hair, then paused, Fonze-style, and dropped the brush on the counter.
“I love you, Erik,” Izzy said with a laugh. “You are completely ridiculous. Anyway, I gotta run. See you at the courthouse in a... well, a while.”
They kissed again quickly, and Izzy hurried out of the house. She opened the door just as Petunia was starting to come around the corner of the green natural-wood siding house. The little bunny started hopping, trying to get her attention. Izzy waved to her. “How ya doin’, Petunia?” she asked.
Petunia was completely disarmed. She’d almost forgotten that the vast majority of the people in Jamesburg saw her as reformed. Reformed, whatever that meant. She almost forgot that Erik was the one who signed the probation order that let her out of the lockup. “Uh, hi,” Petunia said. “Doing okay I guess?”
