Emilia lowered her eyes, seeming hesitant as she murmured, “I don’t mind going with you, and I’m curious about that small animal, so…”
“Okay, let’s go, then!”
“But it might be troublesome for you to have me with you like…”
“Got it, let’s go!”
“…Are you really listening?”
“I’m listening! I could never let a single word or phrase from Emilia-tan escape!”
“Oh, Subaru, I just hate you!”
“Aaa! Aaa! Sorry, what was that?! I can’t hear you!”
How Subaru covered his ears, spectacularly taking back what he’d said the moment before, made Emilia break out in laughter, all ills forgotten. Then, she wiped a teardrop from her eyes with a finger as she looked at Subaru.
“Goodness…but only after I finish my studying and you finish all your work, Subaru?”
“Oh yeah! Roger that! I’ll so totally get them done!”
With the date arranged, Subaru made a dramatic fist-pump pose.
Watching Subaru’s self-satisfied look, a charming smile came over Emilia as she let out a little sigh.
“I was thinking, watching you makes my worries seem so small, Subaru.”
“No way?! I mean, you might become queen; worries and social stress like that would turn my stomach inside out!”
Emilia, unable to hold back any more, burst out laughing, her mirthful voice making Subaru laugh, too.
The two laughing like that announced that their rendezvous for that night had come to an end.
Let it be noted that there was one final exchange.
“Come to think of it, why are you dressed like that after work?”
“Ah, I thought it’d make a good impression on you… So, what do you think? Pretty handsome, huh?”
“Mm, I suppose so. It has that ‘I’m a capable servant’ look.”
“Well, there you go crushing my hopes!”
12
Subaru had his hand on the door, peeking in as he spoke in a casual voice.
“Huh, do you actually sleep right, loli girl? If you stay up too late, you won’t grow as tall as you should and you’ll end up as an adult that short.”
Beatrice replied with resentment in her voice.
“…Do you breach the Passage as if it is a matter of course, I wonder?”
She sat on the wooden stool well within the archive as she glared at Subaru.
“Did you have a reason to come see me, I wonder?”
“Not really. I thought I’d say hi before I went to bed. I was gonna give up if I didn’t get it in three tries, but I got it in one, so…”
“Truly, what kind of intuition do you have…?”
Beatrice had a tired look as she pulled on one of her rolls. When her fingers released it, the stretchy, elastic roll bounced the other way. The sight struck Subaru profoundly.
“Can I try it, too?”
“Only Puckie may touch the likes of me… Would you go away already, I wonder?”
“Not fair only you get to play. Oh well. I’m in a good mood, so I’ll forgive you.”
Still buoyant from the promised date, Subaru headed out as Beatrice glowered at him. But the moment before the door closed, he thought he heard a voice speak with a lonely echo.
“—That has nothing to do with me.”
The voice tugged at him.
“Huh, gotta open the door so I can give her a good comeback.”
The once-open door to the secret archive now led to a simple guest room once more.
He tried opening and closing the door in front of him to see if he could catch it connecting to the archive again.
Rem looked beside herself as she watched Subaru there, opening and closing the door.
“…What have you been doing? Checking the condition of the lock?”
“Oh yeah, I thought I heard a creak in the hall the last few nights… So that was you, Rem?”
Rem was carrying a silver tray with nothing on it in one hand as she watched Subaru feel up the door.
“Is something bothering you?”
“Nah, this led to the archive of forbidden books with the loli girl till just now; it’s gone, though.”
“Did you want something from Lady Beatrice? You could ask me if you prefer…?”
“Just saying hi before going to sleep. Nothing…big.”
The phrase he heard from Beatrice just before the door closed was on Subaru’s mind, but he shook his head—it wasn’t something he needed to press her about at the moment.
“What, you’re still working, Rem? Better turn in. Morning’s coming quickly.”
“I’ll sleep after I do the dishes. At the moment, Sister is serving tea to Master Roswaal, you see.”
“What the heck are those two doing at a time— Ah, well, that’s fine.”
It was almost past midnight; he didn’t much care for Roswaal and Ram having a private chat, discussing some lively topic between just the two of them.
Not my business to say, though, Subaru reflected. He suddenly realized that Rem was watching him. Her pale blue eyes were staring in the direction of his head.
“Don’t suppose chances like this come up much. Doesn’t look like it bothers you any, though.”
“…No, until now it has not bothered me that much, or somewhat, or even a little bit.”
“Geez, downplaying a bunch of times back-to-back makes it sound like it really bothers you!”
The sharpness and intensity of Rem’s gaze increased to the point that his capacity for speech faltered.
Subaru wrapped up work rather late and Rem had been constantly busy, so few opportunities presented themselves. What the heck, thought Subaru with a grimace when Rem raised her hand a bit.
“If you like, how about I do it now?”
“What… Now? It’s pretty late, isn’t it?”
“A quick cut and wash will not take very long. If I do not, I cannot fulfill the cherished desire you confided in me from your own lips, Subaru.”
“Cherished desire is a little much!”
For such a neutral expression, Subaru saw Rem’s eyes brimming with fierce determination. Subaru scratched his face, realizing it must have annoyed her quite a bit over the last four days.
He wanted to do something about that annoyance if he could, but—
“Sorry, Rem. I’ve made a promise to go out with Emilia tomorrow. I’ve gotta get up early and take care of work quickly, so I really can’t do it tonight…”
“Is that so… No, I was being unreasonable. I’m sorry.”
Using the just-made promise as his reason for putting off the promise he’d made to Rem before, at his own suggestion, weighed on his conscience. But Rem was a practical girl and tried to take Subaru’s circumstances into account.
Feeling guilty about Rem’s position, Subaru felt his words left a bitter taste in his own mouth when suddenly, “How about tomorrow night?”
“…At night, you say?”
“My condition for the promise with Emilia is getting all my work wrapped up. There’s no special work scheduled for tomorrow afternoon, so after that, since it’s still on your mind…”
As he spoke, he was truly shocked with himself for arranging dates with two girls on the same day. Not that his feelings toward Emilia and Rem were in the same vein to begin with…
With Rem, he felt fondness toward a fellow coworker. He still didn’t really know how he felt toward Emilia.
Faced with Subaru’s suggestion, Rem closed her eyes and made a small nod.
“Understood. Tomorrow night it is. This is a firm promise, you understand?”
“I don’t know why it bothers you that much, but yeah, a promise it is. Tomorrow night, then.”
He thought about making it a pinkie promise, but he hesitated, not knowing if such a thing existed in that world’s customs. As he hesitated, Rem made a polite bow, turning around with a small flutter of her skirt.
She departed with quiet, gliding steps.
Subaru watched her go before heading back to his room, biting down a yawn as he mentally went over his schedule for the coming day.
“I have to thank the kids for creating the reason for a date all the way to the village tomorrow. Oh, before I do that, got to find out where the best flower gardens are…”
As he entered his room, he held his nose high and puffed out his chest, full of hopes and dreams for the coming day. Subaru stripped off his butler uniform, giving himself a makeover with the tracksuit as he crawled into bed.
As his head hit the pillow, his eyes were open, thoughts racing about the next day, not conducive to sleep at all.
Faced with his mind betraying his body, Subaru immediately switched mental gears and resorted to his secret weapon. Namely…
“One Puck, two Pucks…”
In the back of his mind, little gray kitty cats were running around and frolicking as he counted them one by one. Subaru linked his fantasy Puck to the real one, letting his memory of the fluffy feline lead him to a happy place. His mind slowly sank, pulled into dreamland.
“One…hundred and four Pucks…”
Picturing a fluffy paradise, warmth enveloped his mind—and finally vanished.
13
As Subaru awoke, he felt like his consciousness was rising as if poking his head through the water’s surface.
Suddenly released from the suffocating feeling, his eyes opened, waiting several seconds to take in the world. He felt like he’d woken up in a different place than where he’d gone to bed.
He felt sunlight burning his eyes. Subaru sat up his slightly sluggish body and shook his head.
His head was a bit heavy. Perhaps he was tired from not being entirely used to his new life yet.
But this was not the day for such weak thoughts.
Wide-awake, Subaru went over the date promise he’d made with Emilia the night before. “That’s right, Subaru Natsuki—today’s the time to leap into action!”
The day was a day with a happy future. A day he’d awakened to crisply, a day of promised victory. But…
“—”
Pink-haired and blue-haired twin sisters looked upon Subaru’s determined face in surprise.
Subaru, blushing to the tips of his ears, buried his face in the pillow to hide it.
“What! You were there?! Then you should’ve said something! Aw man, I’m so, so embarrassed!”
The fact that they’d stopped rousing him awake two days before made him careless. To think that both of them would visit on that particular morning…
As usual, the twins’ expressions did not change much as Subaru groaned on top of the bedding. Though it did seem like they were fighting the temptation to point at him and break out laughing.
“Er, hold on, you two. I mean, that reaction kinda hurts. I’m a delicate soul here. There are other reactions, right?!”
He was looking forward to their at least engaging in the cold verbal abuse to which he was accustomed.
—Subaru realized afterward that it was quite awful for him to actually be looking forward to the verbal abuse.
“Sister, Sister. He’s greeting us as if he knows us somehow.”
“Rem, Rem. He’s greeting us in a very chummy fashion.”
It didn’t feel right. Their murmurs brushed against something in the back of Subaru’s mind.
“Er, ah? Something weird? My seniors coming to wake me up is one thing, but playing pranks on me is bad taste, you know?”
Certainly the two were always blunt, but—something felt off.
As Subaru spoke, he began to realize why he felt that something was off with them.
—Their eyes.
The way they looked at Subaru. The familiarity from the previous night was gone; they’d gone back to treating him like a complete stranger. Then, decisive proof came flying at him.
“Sister, Sister. Our Dear Guest seems to be a little confused?”
“Rem, Rem. Our Dear Guest seems to be a little touched in the head.”
—Subaru was aghast at being called “Dear Guest.”
The polite echo made Subaru feel like something sharp had gouged out the back of his stomach.
Subaru pressed a hand to his chest to hold back the phantom pain.
He didn’t know what it all meant. Their reactions, it was as if—
“You two… Ha-ha, this really isn’t…funny…”
With both of them still looking at him like a complete stranger, Subaru abruptly brought up his left hand to block them from his view. But Subaru instantly regretted doing so…
…because he saw that the bandage on his left hand was gone.
The rough fingertips from kitchen work, the callouses from handling knives in ways he wasn’t used to, the bite marks from the puppy that had bitten him while the children toyed with him—they, too, were gone.
—Somewhere distant, he heard what sounded like a bell tolling.
The ringing came over him in a rush, crashing against him over and over again like a wave.
Subaru didn’t realize that the pain that came with the sound was from him pulling out his own hair.
The temple of his head really hurt; he felt a hot, nauseous feeling in his nose. But Subaru’s mind focused instead on the sharp pain and taste of blood from biting his own lip, as if he were using it to drown out the sense of loss that felt like someone had carved out his internal organs.
The facts at hand forced Subaru to accept reality.
Feeling his eyes grow hot inside, Subaru buried his face in the pillow for an entirely different reason than before.
—For he absolutely, absolutely did not want anyone to see his face at that moment.
Not the people he’d grown so fond of.
Not the people who’d seemed to grow so fond of him.
He absolutely didn’t want to cry in front of people looking at him like he was a stranger.
“Why’d I…go back?!”
—And so, Subaru was dragged back into the loop anomaly that had brought him so much suffering.
For the second time, his first day at Roswaal Manor began—
CHAPTER 3
THE SOUND OF THE CHAIN
1
“Dear Guest, Dear Guest. You look rather unwell. Are you all right?”
“Dear Guest, Dear Guest. You look like your stomach hurts; did you soil yourself?”
As Subaru hung his head in shame, the sisters called out with voices of concern.
They were familiar voices, even after such a short time. The voices were sometimes annoying, sometimes relieving, voices that he could trust.
—But now those voices sounded entirely different, ringing harshly against Subaru’s eardrums.
Responding to the feel of their gazes, Subaru put his breathing in order and lifted his face.
“Sorry to…make you worry. I’m just a bit…dense when I’m waking up.”
Somehow, the rage surging within him had dissipated while he pressed his face into the bedding. Though the initial shock had subsided, he felt as if he were bound with silk string, a sense of loss that made him feel a sob rising from his chest.
—Thinking how wonderful and infuriating it would be if only this was all just some mischievous trick Roswaal was playing on him. The pretense in his own mind making him feel somewhat better, Subaru opened his eyes and looked straight ahead.
“—Ah, that’s right.”
After an instant, the blurry world became clear and reality forced itself upon the young boy.
Subaru saw the twins standing on both sides of the bed, their hands on the bedding. The familiar faces of Ram and Rem were gazing expressionlessly at Subaru, as per usual.
Neither pair of eyes contained any emotion toward Subaru whatsoever. The four days that he had lived with them, growing closer to each other bit by bit, had evaporated like morning mist.
“Dear Guest—?”
With bewildered voices, both of their lips wove the words in unison.
Their gazes chased after S
ubaru, now sitting up in bed. But Subaru, seemingly feeling a chill in the air, obeyed his feeling of unease and rose in great haste, putting distance between them.
“Dear Guest, you mustn’t move suddenly. You are not yet well rested…”
“Dear Guest, it’s dangerous to move suddenly. You have not yet soundly rested…”
Subaru’s body reflexively pulled back from the two girls and their concerned voices. The cold response made their eyes tighten with hurt looks, but Subaru was too frantic to notice such a thing.
He was having a very hard time dealing with the feeling that he knew them but they did not, in turn, know him.
It was only a few days prior that Subaru had the same feeling in the busy street, the back alley, and the dilapidated shop.
But it was completely different now. The situation was different. The time was different. The experience was different.
It wasn’t like when he’d redone things with Emilia and Felt when he’d barely known them.
Certainly he’d done some arm-twisting to redo things with the people he trusted. But now, faced with having people he knew turn back into strangers, Subaru was gripped by an unshakable, faceless terror.
The maid twins before Subaru’s frightened eyes had begun to sense that something was terribly wrong.
Silence descended upon the room. Neither side could say or do anything. That was why…
“Sorry—I can’t do this right now!”
…Subaru’s action, gripping the doorknob and practically falling into the hallway as he rushed out, was just a moment faster than the twins’ move to stop him.
Subaru ran, the bare soles of his feet soaking up the cold of the hallway, drawing heavy, ragged breaths as he went. He ran fiercely, in a daze, with no particular destination in mind.
He ran. He fled. Yet he didn’t comprehend what he was running from.
All he knew was that he couldn’t bear to remain in that place a moment longer.
Subaru ran down a corridor lined with similar-looking doors, his strides still tenuous, like he was about to fall over at any moment.
Then, out of breath, Subaru put his hands on a door as if it led right to it—
—and, as he tumbled in, he was greeted by the great mass of bookshelves in the archive of forbidden books.
Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World-, Vol. 2 Page 9
