by Robin Perini
Logan hated to move. He’d been in heaven, holding his children against him. He hadn’t known what to expect, but even though they’d known him only a few hours, they burrowed against him. They apparently trusted him a lot more than their mother ever had.
He met Kat’s gaze in the rearview mirror briefly. Every second with his children raised his frustration with her. It shouldn’t be this way.
Lanie stirred beside him as Kat eased the car into a hidden spot. The little girl was a strange creature, so delicate. He’d felt like an oaf holding her. He was a guy. He understood Hayden and his daredevil instincts, but this fragile baby? He worried he’d break her. Maybe if he’d been there from the start it would be different, but he’d missed everything. He’d make it up to the twins, though. That, he promised.
He didn’t know what to do with Kat, except save her life. Trusting her wasn’t going to come easy.
The SUV rolled to a bumpy stop, startling Lanie from sleep. Her wide eyes met his gaze in panic. “It’s okay, sweetie. Daddy’s got you.”
She patted him. “Daddy,” she whispered.
Hayden, on the other hand, looked like he’d had enough.
“Down,” he ordered, his expression mutinous.
His kid was right. Logan had to move quickly.
“Why are we stopping?” Kat asked, shifting in her seat.
“I’m checking the SUV for bugs. Get them out of their car seats.”
He passed Lanie to Kat then lifted Hayden. As he did, he caught the whiff of a distinctly toxic odor. “Whoa.” Logan stared at Hayden as recognition hit. “You wear diapers?”
“Good thing for us or we’d be stopping every ten minutes. They’re not potty trained,” Kat said, biting her lip, but humor danced in her eyes. “They’re considering it.”
Logan clutched his squirmy son. The imp just grinned at him, tugged at the waist of his small jeans and started pushing them down his legs.
“Uh, Kat. He’s taking his clothes off.” Logan fought to keep his son from undressing but within seconds Logan had clearly lost the battle. As much as he wanted to ignore Kat’s laughter, he was way out of his league here. Give him a bomb that needed disarming, a grenade launcher or room full of terrorists any day over these two.
He shot her an exasperated look. “Take him. I’ll learn the intricacies of diaper changing later. For now, I need to check out the SUV’s rear end, not Hayden’s.”
Logan leaped out of the car and sucked in a breath of fresh air. Man, the kid was ripe. Logan yanked the tailgate, but it wouldn’t budge. He moved to the front and turned the key, rolling down the back window as far as the damaged back allowed.
“What are you looking for?” she asked, as she quickly changed both kids, then sat them down on a blanket with juice boxes and a snack.
“My equipment bag. I have a bug sweeper in there. Those men knew where we were,” he said. “I need to check for a transmitter.”
He rounded the SUV and reached in. Part of his duffel was caught in the crumpled metal of the rear tailgate and it had been littered with bullets. Great. He unzipped the bag and rifled through its contents. The case containing his electronic detector had been decimated. Holding his breath, he pulled out the shot-up equipment. The bug detector was beyond hope.
He grabbed his phone, another link to the outside world. Supposedly secure. Only his computer expert, Zane, should be able to trace his location with it.
Logan hesitated. His gut told him to remain incommunicado. He pulled the battery from the phone and unhooked the GPS power source. He wasn’t taking any more chances. Not with his kids’ lives.
He looked over at them. Each child sipped on a juice box while Kat sang softly to keep them entertained. He wanted to watch and listen, but they couldn’t afford to stay anywhere for long. He needed to find that transmitter. Nothing else explained how the gunmen had found them.
Logan rifled through the equipment, searching for anything out of place then checked the kids’ seats before beginning a swift visual search on the vehicle’s exterior.
“What are you doing now?” Kat asked. “I thought you had a detector.”
“It’s ruined. That makes us vulnerable.” He rose quickly and dusted off his jeans. “Get everything else out of the SUV, Kat. Fast. If we don’t absolutely have to have it, we’re dumping it and getting the hell out of here.”
Logan stripped the vehicle of anything not nailed down except for his most sensitive high-tech equipment, the diaper case and one toy each to distract the kids. He grimaced at Kat’s dismay as she dumped a garbage bag of clothes and toiletries, but when he grabbed the small bag from the floor of the backseat and threw it on the trash pile, she clutched his arm.
“No,” she hissed. “Those are Christmas presents. It’s all they’ll have. Please don’t.”
At her desperation, Logan stopped and peered inside. A used train and doll lay alongside two tiny packaged toys and one outfit for each child. His knuckles whitened on the bag as he viewed the meager items. He’d known money was tight for Kat, but this? He raised his head. Embarrassment laced her gaze. Silently, he checked the toys out and handed her the bag. She clutched it, looking away.
He wanted to comfort her, but what could he say?
He slid under the car and, using telescoping mirrors, checked the undercarriage, front to back. After a few minutes, he cursed. “Gotcha.”
He showed her the bug, then smashed it. “Okay, we’re out of here. They could be close by for all we know.”
They buckled the kids into the car, but remained silent. For a brief few moments earlier, they’d experienced the initial ease that had existed between them three years ago. From the moment they’d first met, they couldn’t stop talking or touching each other. Being with her then had felt so natural. Now, the awkward silence made his chest ache.
Logan forced his mind from the past and quickly covered the pile of equipment and Kat’s belongings with dead branches and leaves. She stared at the mound, then, without speaking, climbed into the passenger’s seat. Holding herself stiffly, she peered out at the flat landscape beyond the birch trees.
Sighing, Logan took one look at his sleepy children and started the vehicle. He waited until the kids had finally nodded off before broaching the subject he’d wanted to talk about for hours. “I would have helped you any way I could, if you’d just come to me.”
Her eyes flashed with anger and residual embarrassment. “I did come to you.”
“When?”
“Once I found out I was pregnant, I tracked you down. I came to your ranch and pleaded to see you. Your men wouldn’t even let me through the gate. They said you were indisposed and nothing I said would get you to talk to me.” Pain punctuated every word. “After that heartwarming welcome, I didn’t have to be told twice that you didn’t want me around.”
Logan looked at her in shock. “I never turned you away.”
“So what? I’m lying?” she shot back. “You think I would make up a story about going to your ritzy ranch in Carder, Texas?”
He glared at her. “You don’t exactly have a great track record for reliability and honesty, Kat. Point in fact—me meeting my kids for the first time today.”
She flinched, but then her jaw tightened. “I don’t lie. I hate liars. Do you want proof I went to you that day? You want me to describe the entrance to your ranch? The iron gates with the horseshoe? The horses and cattle? My walk from the bus station? Or maybe you want the original bus ticket I purchased as proof that I bought it. Sorry, I try not to hold on to unhappy memories, of which you were my biggest one ever, Logan Carmichael.” Her breath came fast and furious.
Dead silence fell over the car.
Fuming, hurt and confused as hell, Logan turned his full attention back to the road, struggling to make sense of it all. Her anger seemed too real, too visceral. Could she be telling the truth?
The miles passed and only the gentle breathing of the two sleeping children broke through the thick silence.
> “You weren’t my most unhappy memory, Kat,” he said quietly. “Not at first.”
She brought her head up in surprise.
“We made love all night long, then you left me. Remember?”
God knows Logan did. He’d held her close and confided to her about his dreams, of making his ranch more than his mother ever believed possible before she’d vanished when he was thirteen. He’d laid open his heart to Kat. He’d spoken of the future and they’d drifted off to sleep wrapped in each other’s arms.
Once morning light hit, her sheets had gone cold.
“I searched for you,” he said. “I came to your house.”
“I know.” She twisted her fingers.
“What?”
“I saw you.” She paused. “I was coming home from the store. You were going up the stairs. I noticed your expensive car. The nice clothes and…I hid.”
“From me? Why? Why did you run in the first place?”
She fidgeted in her seat, toying with the seat belt, gazing anywhere but at him. “I was afraid. Everything had been so magical. I knew it couldn’t last. Then, when you talked about your ranch, I looked it up on the hotel computer. I saw your beautiful spread. I grew up on the wrong side of the tracks with nothing. I knew I’d never fit into your world. I was afraid if I fell for you, and you realized that, I would be left behind, like my mother was. I knew you deserved more than I could offer someone like you. You proved me right when you turned me away.”
“What a crock.” He glared at her. “You know nothing about my life or how I grew up. My father was an alcoholic and nearly drove the ranch into the ground. He gambled away half the acreage that had been in my mother’s family for five generations. I begged, borrowed and stole to keep the place running. I thought I saw something special in you. I never would’ve rejected you.”
Kat sank back into her seat and shook her head. “But your men did. I figured you told them not to let me in.”
Logan paused. “When…exactly…did you try to get onto the ranch?”
“January fourth. Almost three years ago,” she said. “Not a visit or a day I’ll ever forget.”
Logan let out a loud curse and rubbed the scar just above his temple. “Three years ago. Kat, for most of December and January I was in a German hospital…in a coma.”
“Coma?” Kat’s words were dazed.
She placed her hand near his, her fingertip following the ridge of skin leading into his hair. Logan’s breath caught at her caress. He clasped her hand.
“What happened?” she whispered.
“Ambush,” he said, not revealing his distraction on that mission, his constant thoughts of her.
“You weren’t there,” she said softly, as if trying to wrap her brain around the past. “They weren’t lying.” She tilted her head back and gazed at the roof of the car. “They could’ve explained. They could have told me you were in a hospital, or out of the country.”
“My employees have strict orders never to reveal my location to anyone.” He kneaded the knotting muscles at the back of his neck. He could see how it could have happened.
She’d tried to find him to tell him about the kids. She’d hadn’t abandoned him, and he was as guilty for their not being together as she was. Worse, he’d lied to her. She’d been an assignment when he’d tracked her down—then and now. He’d felt the connection then. It had never died.
After she’d left, a small part of him had wondered if he’d lost his touch at reading people. In the CIA, he’d always had to trust his instincts. He’d have been dead a dozen times over if he didn’t. But ever since the mother he adored walked out on him without saying goodbye, he’d never completely relied on blind faith again. Until the week with Kat.
She’d eviscerated him when she left. He couldn’t believe she’d come back—unlike his mom. “Did you leave your name or a message for me before you left?” If she had, he’d be raking someone over the coals when he got back to the ranch.
“No. I was too angry and hurt.” She exhaled in frustration. “Then again, they didn’t ask me for anything.”
“They probably figured you’d get in touch with me later. If it was important.”
“All the nasty thoughts and horrible suspicions I had about you now seem so petty and insignificant. What a waste of time and possibilities. I’ve hated you for three years.” Pure heartbreak tinged Kat’s voice.
“Ditto.” But the heavy weight he’d been carrying lifted from Logan’s chest. He’d felt tired before, but suddenly he had a burst of energy. He could breathe again fully for the first time in forever.
She rubbed her eyes. “What do we do now?”
“We try to move past it.” He turned his head to the sleeping children. “For them.”
“All I want is a better life, but between the king and whoever else is chasing us, the whole world is off-kilter.” Kat let out a long slow breath and leaned back against the seat. “What’s going to happen to us, Logan? I can’t run from these people the rest of my life. How will I protect my babies?”
“I have the best men in the business looking to find out who’s after you. I will keep you and the kids safe.”
“Can’t I just tell that man, ‘no,’ and make this princess problem go away?”
“It’s not that easy,” Logan said grimly. “Bellevaux is a very traditional country. Bloodlines mean everything. You carry the king’s blood. So do our children. If he doesn’t designate you or one of the children as his heir, you and your family will always be a threat to whomever ascends the throne.”
“Even if we renounce any claim?” Desperation tinged her voice.
“Some won’t take the risk of you changing your mind.”
“Then they won’t stop until we’re dead. They can’t.”
The matter-of-fact words chilled Logan’s soul. He reached out his hand and held hers tight. “We’ll find a way to work this out.”
He prayed he wasn’t lying.
* * *
NERVES STRETCHED TO breaking, Kat gripped Logan’s hand, needing the reassurance of his touch, terrified by the idea that others might want to kill her and the kids, no matter what she said or did. Logan stroked her palm with his thumb, his touch calming. Nothing seemed to faze him.
He kept checking the rearview mirror, but so far he seemed to believe that they weren’t being followed. Still, he took evasive maneuvers and doubled back to make sure.
“I can’t believe this is happening. I just wanted to finish nursing school and take care of my kids.”
“Is that why you were only working with horses at Daughtery’s ranch on the weekends? Because of school?”
She rubbed the calluses on her right hand, knowing they were both talking about this subject to avoid the far more troubling ones. “I spent the weekends teaching riding lessons, training horses and mucking out stalls so I could go to nursing school during the week.”
“But why nursing school, Kat?” he asked, sounding honestly curious. “You’re the best I’ve ever seen at gentling a horse. You could’ve been doing it professionally.”
Heat stained her cheeks and she shook her head in denial. Maybe she had a way with horses, but she was certainly nothing special.
Logan flicked on the turn signal to take the next exit ramp. “Why are you embarrassed? You’re gifted.”
“Gifted doesn’t pay for day care or sending my kids to college. Nursing will. It’ll give them more than I had.”
“I’m here now. That won’t be a problem anymore.”
“I can’t let you take care of us. I ran from you because I was afraid to step out of my little world. Having Hayden and Lanie made me want to do something important with my life. I wanted to show them that there’s more out there if you work hard enough. I struggle every day to keep believing that, terrified I can’t make it happen, no matter what I do. I want them to have everything, Logan. Everything this world could possibly offer.”
“The king could offer you more money than you ever dreamed
and ruling a country is certainly important.”
“It’s not the same. I can’t go with him, Logan. I’m no princess. I can’t do what he wants me to do. Besides, you heard him. My father really only wants Hayden. Lanie and I are expendable. I won’t have Lanie believing she doesn’t matter. That price is too high.”
He reached out and stroked her cheek. “You’re an amazing woman, Kat.”
She leaned into his caress, taking the comfort and strength he offered.
“My mother died feeling betrayed by him. She may have lied about who I was, and not told me he was still alive, but she spoke the truth about how she felt. He crushed her spirit. That will never happen to Lanie or Hayden.”
“If you don’t want to go with him, Kat, you don’t have to.”
“Unless it’s the only way to keep the kids alive.” The truth terrified her. “Money and power like his are hard to fight.”
He shocked her when he pulled to the side of the road, out of sight of the passing cars, and cupped her face in his hands.
“Katherine Nelson. I watched you today. You’re strong enough to deal with anything. If you don’t want to go to Bellevaux, then don’t go, but I refuse to listen to you give up. You’re better than that. We’ll find a way out of this together.”
He didn’t understand. Everything in her wanted to reach out to him, to lean into his strength, but she couldn’t.
Logan unclicked his seat belt and leaned closer. He stroked her cheek, his touch caring, his eyes gentle.
She tilted her head into his warmth and stilled as his breath caught in a way she remembered from years before. His hazel eyes flared with green, darkening with a familiar arousal as if he remembered, too.
“What are we doing?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
“I don’t know.” His gaze dropped to her lips and he threaded one hand through her hair and drew her closer.
Heat flared within her. She knew his touch, his kiss, the way he made her cry out his name in the dark. She’d dreamed of feeling like this again too many nights to admit.
The pad of his fingertip caressed her bottom lip. The rough texture made her shiver and she couldn’t resist. Her tongue tasted him and she drew his fingertip into her mouth. A groan rumbled deep inside his chest. His gaze held hers captive.
