by KUBOA
***
“So, David, why are you writing all of this? Why are you writing all of this and sending it 3000 miles to my daughter?”
Sissy was talking to me. I was staring at a plate of pancakes and eggs and a glass of chocolate milk. We were inside a warm diner just down the street from Ledgewood and my stomach was queasy and my eyes were so tired. Sissy was across from me and Samantha was sitting next to me. I’d eaten about a third of my breakfast and that was all I was going to eat. My focus had shifted to keeping myself in the chair and off of the floor. But Sissy was talking to me.
“David?”
“Yeah? Oh, yeah. Why am I writing this? I’m…”
I sucked on my bottom lip and sat up straight and rubbed my hands together. Samantha turned to get a better look at me. She wanted to hear this too. And rightfully so. She was one of the stars of this tale. I smiled nervously. Then I began.
“Well, for starters, let me just say that I’m very grateful and thankful that I got to meet you this week, Sissy. You didn’t know me, fuck, Samantha didn’t know me, and you let me into your family, your…life. I thank you for that.”
Sissy nodded and took a bite of sausage. Samantha rubbed my leg, encouragingly. I continued.
“When I was out in Seattle a few months ago, I was on another planet. Just like now. And I…I didn’t know that I would meet Samantha then. God knows I was looking for her. And…creepily, maybe, freakishly, kinda, I found her, we found each other.”
Samantha took my hand. It calmed me.
“And I didn’t want to let that go then. I didn’t want it to disappear. God knows it could have. And so we made the effort. And now, this week, this…means so much to me I don’t know why. Wait…Yes, I do.”
Sissy was watching me but not austerely. Her blue eyes were soft and kind. Samantha was smiling. I noticed a speck of egg on her chin. I gingerly, lovingly, wiped it away with my napkin. I drew my attention back to the words.
“Sissy, I’m in love with your daughter. And I think she’s in love with me. It’s crazy, it’s fucked up, we’re both obvious maniacs, we have our own lives to live 3000 miles apart but…it’s real. I can feel that it’s real. And for now, I think that can be enough.”
Sissy sighed. She raised her eyebrows.
“So, why are you writing this?” she asked.
I answered without thinking.
“Because I have to. I have to write this. I don’t ever want to forget it.”
I was suddenly blindsided. Samantha knocked me out of my chair but I stayed on my feet and she was ripping at my clothes.
“Kiss me, you fuck,” she said.
“What?”
She pushed her mouth onto mine and we threw our clothes everywhere and Sissy sat back and smiled. We fell on top of the table. Glasses broke, silverware flew in all directions. The other patrons sat quietly and ate their breakfasts. No one outside of our table could see us. We were in a parallel universe.
Samantha’s ass was pressed in my half eaten pancakes. She threw water on my face and then licked it off. Sissy covered her mouth and giggled. Then the table started shaking and we were fucking on our breakfast and our heads were close and we were breathy and hot and the words were coming effortlessly, sensually.
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
Sissy read a menu to give us some privacy.
***
Back at the house on Ledgewood, Samantha and I sat on the mossy lawn in the sun. Samantha was on my lap. I held her.
“You’re strong,” she said.
I’m not that strong, I thought. It’s all an illusion. I’m a walking disaster, my life a cautionary tale for the better adjusted.
But I smiled anyway. Then I pulled a piece of grass and chewed on it.
