His Ride or Die : Sons of Lost Souls MC Book Three

by Ellie R. Hunter

  “We should have killed him that day you called for my help.”

  Running my fingers over her hand, I’m careful not to disturb any of the wires, she is so smooth under my touch.

  “I shouldn’t have left town, she woke up to him in her bed. He undressed her for a shower…” I have to stop.

  I can remember every word she said to me as she sat next to him in the diner. I pictured it all so vividly, I felt like I was there with them.

  “I thought she died in my arms, I left her to go find him when her heart was still struggling to beat. I left her.”

  “Hey, when she wakes up she will understand. Your mind found something to help you cope when your heart could not. I would’ve done the same if it were your mother in her position. Andrew will pay with his life for this.”

  “They’ve got him at the station, there were many witnesses around, they shouldn’t let him out.”

  “That won’t stop us.”

  Silence fills the room around the beeps and strains of the machines. He doesn’t say anymore, and I can’t stand the silence.

  I thought she was pausing and all the while, she was feeling the knife sink into her.

  Every time I think about it, I feel it myself and I struggle to breathe. I love this woman so much, it isn’t possible to be in this life without her.

  “Thank you,” I mutter, and then clear my throat.

  “For what?”

  “For being here with her when I couldn’t be. It’s not like you haven’t been shot yourself today.”

  I try to joke, but it falls flat.

  “Leo nearly shot me when I let your sister come with me, he’s not happy she’s left the club. But that’s what family does when situations like this arise. We stick together, and we always will.”

  I half turn in my seat and clear my throat again. It’s time I talk to him and settle this anger I have. I want to move on with Nina and I don’t want any bad blood lingering after me.

  “It was easier to be angry with you then really hear what you think of me. You have been the only one in my life that I can really trust and connect with. I don’t know why that is, I don’t really give a fuck, but when I heard you talking to Cas that day, I felt like I had no one. Do you know how lonely it is in a club full of brothers who would die for you, yet you feel so far from them?”

  “Zachery,” he sighs.

  “Then I met Nina and she blew me away. She looked at me and the world was right again. I felt right again. I kept going back to her because I couldn’t work out how to stay away. She chose me, and it might still kill her, I can’t go through the void of nothingness again. I love her beyond all reasoning, it’s too much to cope with.”

  I close my eyes on the single tear that falls and I hear his chair scraping towards mine. He collects me in his arms and squeezes me so tight, I have no air left to breathe.

  “I chose you, son. We chose you because you’re worth everything to us. Everything. I’m here for you like I have been your whole life, I’m not going anywhere, I’m here.”

  I can’t remember the last time I held my father back, but I do today. I hold him as the tears fall.

  He slaps my back twice and I sit up, careful not to hurt his leg.

  “I hope she makes it for you, she seems like a nice girl. Actually, she seems like a really nice girl, you sure she can put up with your moody ass?”

  Rolling my eyes, I don’t rise to him messing with me and appreciate his effort to distract me. It doesn’t work, but I still appreciate the thought. I don’t know if our relationship can ever be the same as it once was, but these days, with Nina by my side, I hope it’ll be as close as possible.

  “Is she the reason you haven’t smoked in a few days?” he asks and throws me off.

  “She doesn’t like me smoking, and I don’t want me being high to be the first thing she sees when she wakes up.”

  “It’s love then?”

  “It’s love,” I nod, and take her hand in mine again.

  It’s more than love but I’m not going to sit here with the machines beeping away and spill my guts on how deep my love goes for her.

  “If she needs anything when she wakes, we’re here for you and her. You hear me?”

  Nodding, I settle in and wait for her to wake up.

  Zachery

  “One day you’ll meet a woman who will steal every rational thought from you. You’d walk across the world for her just to be near her.”

  “I doubt it, dad,” I snort.

  The old man is losing it lately.

  “You will. Mark my words, son, she’s out there somewhere and when you meet her, she’ll make you lose your mind. I’d say be ready but she’ll still knock you off your feet.”

  “Is that what mom did to you?”

  He smiles, and I don’t need a further answer from him.

  “Your mom came into my life at a time when I was about to give up, she knocked me clean over, I still haven’t found my footing with her.”

  “Why are you telling me this?”

  “You’re getting older now, I want you to know how to treat a girl. You’ve seen some things over the years, and I’ve seen and heard JJ and Leo, I want you to know that isn’t the only way picking up girls.”

  Jumping up to my feet, I shut down this conversation.

  “No need, I’m nothing like them and I know it’s better to be kind. In fact, Stephanie already thinks I’m nice, she follows me around everywhere.”

  Dad laughs and claps me on the back three times before reaching over for the spanner.

  “Yeah? Do you like this Stephanie back?”

  I shrug my shoulders, and don’t commit to an answer out loud.

  “She’s alright, she does my math homework sometimes.”

  Another laugh booms from him as he twists the nut on the front wheel.

  “Don’t tell your mom that, she’ll be on the phone to the school having you redo it yourself.”

  “I already knew the answers, I gave it to her to keep her away for a while.”

  Shaking his head, he climbs up to his feet and leans his weight on the handle bars.

  “There you go, that should be fine now.”

  I toss the key up in the air as I stand up from the old boxes and walk over to my bike.

  Mom will freak as usual when she hears dad’s fixed it up again after my last crash fucking around with JJ around the back of the clubhouse.

  I swing my leg over my bike and shove the key in the ignition. Before I can twist it, dad’s hand covers mine and I look up at him.

  “You’re different to the other kids around here, not better different, not less than them different, you’re just you. Never change who you are, son.”

  How strange.

  “You’re making me feel like I’m turning into an asshole,” I laugh it off.

  “Never, just making sure you know it’s fine to be you,” he winks.

  He walks off and the conversation hangs around me like a dark cloud and then JJ and Leo zip around from the back of the clubhouse on their bikes and I join them, forgetting all about dad’s strange ass advice.

  “Zachery?”

  The club disappears, and mom is hovering over me when I open my eyes. I immediately focus on Nina and she is still out for the count.

  “Cas is outside, he wants to speak with you. Your dad is with him too. I’ll sit with Nina till you come back.”

  Outside ICU, Cas is sat on one of the plastic chairs and dad is sat beside him while Sparky and Ricky lean against the wall. The twins are down by the coffee machine.

  “I heard that Andrew Smith is being tested to see if he’s fit to stand trial. There’s a good possibility he’ll end up in a hospital not prison,” Cas tells me before my dad’s even seen me.

  “I don’t care where he ends up, he won’t live long.”

  It’s not a threat or a promise, it’s the way his life will go.

  “With that said, let’s talk about Ellis.”

  “It’s ab
out time. I believed him when he said he’d find her.”

  “And I believe you, so after I can stomach the drive after today’s appointment, me and Alannah, my boys, and India are going to drive up to Mercy and bring her and JJ home.”

  “I didn’t think you two were talking?” I hedge.

  “We’re not, but we will be.”

  Sparky is happier hearing his son is coming home and isn’t arguing about it.

  “I’ll be gone a few days, Sparks will be in charge and I swear to god, do not leave for anywhere on your own. Stick to groups or don’t leave the clubhouse at all.”

  “Cas? It’s time for your appointment.”

  Everyone turns to see Alannah waiting on her husband and Cas throws death glares at Sparks when he goes to help him up to his feet.

  “Zach!”

  I spin around, and mom is poking her head out of the ICU doors.

  “She’s waking up.”

  My brothers cease to exist around me. In the same room I’ve been sititng in for the last three days, Nina is being checked over by the nurses and doctors and her eyes are wide open. So fucking open it’s hurting my fucking heart.

  The checks go on for so long, I can’t contain my agitation as they poke and prod her.

  I don’t want her to be too tired when I get to go in after they’ve seen to her.

  Every second I’m not holding her hand is a second too long away from her. They drag by and I just want to scream at them to hurry up. Finally, their checks come to an end and they one by one leave the room.

  “Is she going to be okay?” I ask the nurse before she can run off.

  “She’s doing well today, let’s hope she stays the same.”

  I wait for the last doctor to leave and close the door behind me when I step into her room.

  “You look like crap,” she croaks, her voice cracked and dry.

  “You don’t need to joke with me.”

  A huge tear slides down her cheek and I move to her side. Before I can hold her, she cries out, “I thought I was dying, I thought I wasn’t going to see you again.”

  I lift her hand against my mouth. Pressing my lips to her warm skin, the emotions of joy and ecstasy are overwhelming as she’s awake to feel my love.

  “You didn’t die, you’re still here and I’m right here with you and I’m not going anywhere without you.”

  Another tear falls from her glistening eyes, using the pad of my thumb, I stroke each one of them away and hold her as much as I can until the last sob has left her.

  “He was in my bed, I was happy because I thought he was you, I thought you had come back early and was surprising me.”

  “It’s okay, he’s not ever getting in your house again, he’s not getting anywhere near you. I promise you that, Nina.”

  I reach over to the box of tissues on the stand beside her bed and pull away so she can dry her face. Dragging the chair closer to her bed, I give her a little breathing room, petrified that I’m going to sit on one of the wires surrounding her and gulp heavily.

  “What happened to your hands?” she asks, noticing the grazes across my knuckles.

  This woman has been so honest with me, it nearly got her killed, the least I can do is return the honesty, she likes it anyway.

  “Do you remember I held you after he…hurt you?”

  She squints and thinks it over.

  “Not really, it’s blurry when I try to remember anything.”

  “I held you while we were waiting for help and then I thought you were dead. When the help did arrive, I left you with them and went out looking for Andrew. The twins had him pinned up the wall and I jumped him. I wanted to kill him, and I would’ve done if the cops hadn’t pulled me off.”

  “The cops?”

  “Yeah, it’s a long story but one I’ll tell you all about when you’re feeling better.”

  “Promise?”

  “Yeah, I promise.”

  For a long while, the shock hits her hard and she continues to cry her tears, relief mixed with her fear.

  I moved onto the bed after the nurses returned and made her more comfortable. I held her and soothed her in a way only I could for her and she held onto me.

  “Zach?”

  “Hmm?”

  Stroking her hair, I wait to hear what she needs from me. I can honestly say she’s going to get anything she asks for.

  “I love you.”

  I wasn’t expecting her to say those three little words but they sooth me in a way that makes up for the loneliness I’ve felt these past few years.

  “I love you too.”

  “No, you don’t understand. I love you so much I can’t process it properly. All the time Andrew…well, all I could think about was you. I had this feeling in the bottom of my stomach that something bad was going to happen and I didn’t want it happening to you. I knew he had the knife and I knew he had every intention of using it if I didn’t follow his instructions, when you walked into the diner, I knew I would never let him use it on you.”

  The air in my lungs hits my throat and becomes trapped. This woman, she’s everything. I’m processing her admission as I hear it, and I still can’t form a thought that I don’t end up being pissed at.

  “I do understand, because I love you to the point I’m going to kill him for you,” I whisper into her hair. “Once he’s transferred to where ever it is he’s going, he won’t survive the first night. As far as you taking a blade for me, never, ever do that again. I would die for you, but I can’t live without you, not even for one day. I should have killed him the day I had him tied to a fucking chair. It will always be a regret of mine.”

  He was a sitting duck that day, I could have done such a clean job on him and his body would have been decomposing all this time.

  “Why would you tell me you’re going to kill him? You wouldn’t even tell me where you were going when you left town.”

  “So you understand that my love for you transcends normality. I don’t plan on letting you go, ever. I want you to know you can depend on me for anything and if it’s in my power, I will be the world for you.”

  Mason was right. Nina Rollins is my ride or die, someone like her must be kept close and adored. From the moment I saw her pressing a shovel into her ex’s groin, she had me twitching. Her strength for herself and her need for me is an intoxicating combination and one I’m going to enjoy being around.

  Nina

  * * *

  PAST

  The ad in the window says they’re looking for a waitress and I need the job, this should be a perfect fit, but I can’t walk in and enquire about it.

  My feet are slowly going to numb from lack of suitable shoes and nuzzle my nose deeper into my scarf. When I came to Salt Bay three months ago, I didn’t account for snow. A store across the street catches my eye and I jog across the road after the last truck has passed and dream over the boots in the window display.

  My feet would be snug in the fur trimmed black leather and I waste no time in opening the door and hearing the ping over my head.

  “Good morning, how can I help you today?”

  A cheery, smiley, woman who looks to be in her late thirties comes over and I step back.

  She doesn’t miss the apprehension I’m trying to hide, and she rubs her hands together to keep warm after I let in the icy blast.

  “I need boots, I saw a pair I like in the window. Can I try them on please?”

  I sit down as instructed and after twenty minutes, I’m walking out in new boots and my toes don’t feel like they’re going to fall off.

  I cross the street and the ad is still in the window as I approach the diner. Screw it, let’s get this over with and then I can go to bed tonight knowing my funds won’t be taking a hit any longer.

  Only when I open the door, a guy is taking the sign down and he turns and hands an apron to a young woman. I should have found my strength and gone in before I purchased the boots.

  I walk in regardless and order a hot chocolate.
Here is where I found the ad for the place I’m renting. Everything is so cheap in this town but not cheap enough to live off my mom’s cash for the rest of my life.

  The steam wafting from my drink lulls me into believing I’m back home and it’s Christmas and my mom is somewhere in the kitchen baking her famous cookies.

  When I open my eyes, I don’t recognise anyone. I’m not home, it’s not Christmas and my mom doesn’t have a clue where I am for my own safety. I’m antsy, I can’t settle and I’m homesick.

  “Hey, can I get you anything else?”

  I smile up at the waitress and shake my head.

  “I’m fine, thanks.”

  She goes to walk off, and I get her attention.

  “Do you know of any jobs going? I can start immediately.”

  She tells me about an old woman who needs someone to clean her house three times a week. It’s not a full-time job, but it’s something and who knows, she might need more work or have friends that do.

  I walk to the address she gives me and I’m not expecting a guy to open the door. The waitress back at the diner didn’t mention a grandson. A very good-looking grandson.

  “Are you the girl Mandy called ahead telling me about?”

  His short blonde curls and dancing blue eyes entrance me and then I step back. Bad, bad Nina. I’m not here to have fun with boys, I’m here because a man scared me and my mother half to death and now I’m hiding.

  “Yes, I’m Nina. Mandy? She said your grandmother is looking for help around the house?”

  “Can you clean?” he asks.

  “Yes.”

  “Do old ladies make you cry if they don’t like your choice of anything?”

  “No.”

  “You’re hired. I’m Joey, I’m leaving for college tomorrow and I’m not coming back for four years, I really hope you last with the old bag.”

  And like that, my new life was set up. The natural order began again, and I had taken the first step in this new world I now lived in.

  I open my eyes and inhale the smell of fresh flowers that were delivered yesterday by Mrs McCarthy. There’s a brief moment where I search for the cologne that doesn’t belong to Zachery, the same as the morning I woke before I nearly died. Or the morning I was nearly killed. The left side of my body is partially numb and aches all in one go and I breathe in and out slowly like I’m in labour as I try and sit up on my own. Zach has been so good to me over the last few days and when he slipped off the chair as he slept last night, he finally agreed to go home and get some proper sleep. In his place, he left Mason, which was strange being around him without Myles.