by R H Tucker
“Yeah, sure,” he agrees but keeps his blue eyes locked on me.
“Perfect,” she says, spinning on her heels and walking away.
He stays in place, his gaze still piercing mine. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Derrik asks, with no emotion in his voice.
“Derrik …” I shake my head, now staring down at the cement below. “It’s not … I just figured it was something we don’t talk about. You never talked to me about other girls.”
“Other girls?”
I wave to the stage and the arena that’s mostly empty now. “Yeah, you know, the screaming girls at your every turn? The ones who threw their bras at you tonight. Other girls.”
“Seriously, Z? I—”
“Derrik, hurry!” Danica screams, cutting him off.
His eyes bounce up for a minute, staring at her in the distance, before finding mine again. Taking a deep breath, he looks away. I can’t tell if he’s hurt or angry. Gazing back at me one last time, he nods, then turns to follow Danica.
“Ohmygod.” Becca slaps her hands over her mouth. “Zoey, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
I wave off her comment. “It’s fine. It was bound to happen. I probably should’ve told him before, but …” Taking a deep breath, I shake my head. “What’s done is done. He knows now. And it doesn’t even matter, or at least it shouldn’t. It changes nothing between us. He’s still going to be who he is, and I’ve still got my life in front of me.”
7
Derrik
“D-Money!” Maddox calls out as I step back on the bus.
I had to be quick about filming the YouTube thing with Danica since we had to get back on the road fast to start to make our way up to San Francisco.
“Thank God you’re back,” Maddox shouts, throwing me an Xbox controller. “Your brother sucks at Mortal Kombat.”
I look across the first room of our bus, at the large, flat-screen TV on the other wall, and see the character selection screen of the video game. I nod, tossing the controller over to EJ.
“Hey!” Maddox calls out, no doubt wanting me to play him a game, but I’m not in the mood. Jade sits at a small table off to the side, platters of sushi still out, and cards scattered about the table.
“I’m gonna go to sleep,” I tell them.
EJ looks up at me with a confused gaze. Maddox doesn’t respond but gives me the same look as my brother. Glancing quickly at the girls, Jade offers a perplexed expression too, while Becca inspects the cards as they play their game. Zoey lifts her gaze to meet mine. It seems like she wants to say something but remains silent.
Our tour bus is broken up into three main sections. The lounge area I just passed is the first compartment of the vehicle with a large couch area, two big-screen TVs, and a modest table area with a bench that seats two on each side, where the girls are sitting. There’s also a small sink and fridge, and the bathroom compartment is upfront, as well.
The area I’ve just walked into is the second area, which has a total of six bunks, all with twin-sized bed sleeping spots, with little curtains to block out the walkway. The third area on the bus is a master bedroom with a huge, king-sized bed as the main compartment. Each area’s cut off by hide-away sliding doors, so I slide the door shut and drop down to the bunk I chose when I told everyone Zoey gets the main room.
Kicking off my shoes, I don’t bother to change and slide into the bed, staring up at the bottom of the bunk above me. I was out of it filming that stupid video with Danica. All I could think about was Zoey and how she has a boyfriend. What the hell? This was supposed to be the time. My opening. To finally prove to her that we can be together. I can be in the band, she can go to college, and we can make whatever we once had work. Now that’s all gone up in smoke.
The curtain blocking the walkway and the bunk slides open, and I snap my head to the side, seeing Zoey.
“Scoot over.” Pushing me aside without hesitation, she crawls into the bed next to me, and slides the curtain shut. “Why are you going to sleep already? Maddox has been complaining forever about how bad EJ stinks at that game.”
She giggles, but I don’t have it in me to laugh. Returning my gaze to the bunk above me, I keep my hands behind my head. “I’m tired.”
She leans up on her elbow, and I can feel her coffee colored eyes on me. “You’re tired? After a show like that, I’d think your blood would be pumping for hours still.”
I don’t respond. Still not looking at her, I take a deep breath, unsure of what to say.
“Are you really not going to talk to me?”
Her words flip a switch, and the damn breaks. “Seriously? You’re gonna blame me about not keeping lines of communication open? Hey, I got an idea, maybe you should text your boyfriend and find out if he’s okay with you lying here next to me.”
The words make her recoil, and I feel like an ass. She averts her eyes, and turns to the curtain, reaching for it. “Sorry, I’ll leave you alone.”
“Shit, Zoey.” I reach for her arm, and she stops. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
She nods slowly, leaving the curtain closed, and turns back to face me. “I never meant to keep him a secret from you.”
“Then, why did you?”
Raising her arm, she slides it under her head, still facing me. I turn on my side, staring back at her, unsure what any of this means anymore. I was so sure we had a chance.
Her eyes move from me to the dark blue sheets between us. “I asked him out a couple of months ago. We’ve been a couple since then,” she says, gazing at the blanket between us.
“Wait, you asked him out?” She nods and then finally makes eye contact. “So, when he came to the show last night, that wasn’t just a group of friends?” She shakes her head. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I told you earlier, Derrik. We’ve never talked about other people with each other. You’ve never mentioned other girls, so I just figured that was a line between us. And to be honest, I was fine with it. I still consider you one of my best friends. Combine that with our history, I don’t want to hear about you being with other girls after your shows. Or you hooking up with Danica, or—”
“You know the thing with Danica is a publicity stunt.”
“I know.” She nods. Gazing again at the sheets between us, she picks at them, before meeting my eyes again. “Either way, it was out of sight, out of mind. Ignorance is bliss. And since you never told me, I figured you probably didn’t want to know either.”
We stare at one another for a second longer, and then she returns to looking down at the bedding. She thinks I never told her about other girls so it wouldn’t be awkward between us? That I’ve kept any groupie escapades out of our conversations for her peace of mind? None of that could be further from the truth.
I remember talking to her last year before we started the tour. I didn’t want to break up, but she seemed like it was the greatest plan in the world. She was happy, telling me we could still be friends, and that she’ll always be there for me, but this life I’m living now is something she wasn’t sure she could handle. She’s never been afraid of the limelight, but she doesn’t go seeking it out.
So, I agreed, and we ended it. And now to find out she’s going out with some guy, it stings. But I wonder if I can win her over—if I can still prove to her that she can keep living the life she has, and we can be together. If nothing else, she could be spending her spring break out on a beach, where I’m sure Landon would’ve visited. Does it mean anything that she’s here with us? Me? That she still feels comfortable enough to have no problem lying next to me?
I won’t ask her to cheat on him. I’d never do that. However, I wonder if what they have is real. I guess I have the rest of the tour to find out. I do have to let her know one thing, though.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “You’re right, we never talked about that stuff.” She looks up at me. “So … Landon. Is that going good?”
She shrugs, finally smiling a tad. “Yeah, i
t’s okay.”
I quirk an eyebrow. Maybe I do have an opening. “Just okay?”
She lifts her shoulders again. Either she doesn’t want to tell me how great he is—which, if he really was, why wouldn’t she—or I do have an opening.
“How were the tacos?”
She smiles a little more. “Good. We brought back two plates of nachos for you guys.”
“With jalapeños?”
“Of course.” Her smile grows wider.
“You know what I like.” I let out a chuckle. “All right, let’s get out of here so I can grub on some nachos. And kick Maddox’s ass in Mortal Kombat.”
“Okay,” she giggles, rolling over and sliding out of bed.
Following behind her, I grab her hand before we reach the sliding door. “Hey, and just so you know, the reason you never heard me talk about other girls? There haven’t been any.” She stands there, eyes wide, almost unsure if she should believe me. “You’re the last girl I’ve ever kissed.”
She gazes at me, befuddled. “That’s not true. What about Danica?”
“You know that’s an act. A real kiss? One that meant something to me? You’re the last.”
8
Zoey
The last girl he ever kissed? The last?
No, that can’t be true. He’s a rock star. A teen idol. There’s no way, in all of the time they’ve been on tour and in the limelight and making talk show appearances, that I was the last girl he ever really kissed. No. Way. He had to have met someone along the way.
But then, why would he say it? Why would he even put that out there? He knows our situation. I’ve done everything I can to try to prove to him that we’re friends and always will be friends, but there’s nothing more. We can’t be anything more. He’s a rock star touring the world. I’ll be going to college two hours away from my hometown.
After I went to bed last night, his words were still rattling around in my head. So much so that Becca was asking me if there was something wrong. Of course there’s something wrong! He’s supposed to have this luxurious life. I’d hate if he actually did end up with Danica, but it’d make sense. The media even has its little cliché nickname already picked out for them. Team DnD. That’s what fans of both the Kings and Danica call themselves now.
Ugh, whatever. I need to stop thinking about this. I just have to enjoy this awesome vacation with my friends and not think about how Derrik apparently isn’t dating anyone and isn’t even kissing anyone else. That shouldn’t be a problem at all, but somehow, it is.
“Okay, you are seriously freaking me out.” Becca bumps my elbow as I look out over the water of the San Francisco Bay. The band plays tonight at the Golden Bay Arena and we decided to do a little sightseeing around the city. We just had the New England clam chowder found on Pier 39. Yum!
“Sorry, it’s nothing.”
“Stop lying. I can tell something’s wrong.”
I chew on my straw, which is in an empty cup that used to be iced coffee. “It’s … I don’t know.”
“Z!” She bumps my hip now with hers, enough so I slightly lose my balance.
“Hey!”
“Tell me!” she exclaims, grabbing my arm.
“Okay, okay,” I answer, and she releases her hold. “It’s just something Derrik told me last night.”
“I was wondering when you were going to tell me about that.”
“About what?”
Giggling, she wiggles her eyebrows. “You two. His little bed he sleeps in. A private curtain to block everyone out.” She puckers her lips.
“Stop it.”
“It’s totally okay. I’m just glad it finally happened.”
“Becca, would you stop. You know I’m going out with Landon.”
“Girl, you guys don’t have one of those celebrity lists? Put Derrik at the top of yours. It doesn’t matter anyway, I’m totally down for you cheating on Landon with Derrik and his sexy lips. Not to mention his gorgeous dimples.”
My mouth drops, and she starts laughing. “I can’t believe you.”
“You guys have a history.”
“I wouldn’t cheat on Landon!”
“Fine, fine.” She waves her hands around, trying to calm her laughter. “But seriously, what was going on in his bunk last night.” She wiggles her eyebrows again.
“You’re horrible,” I reply, trying to hold back a laugh. “Nothing happened. At least, not like that.”
“Oh, that’s mysterious.”
“He told me …” I bite my lip, briefly finding her eyes, before my unsure expression gazes back down at the water in front of us. “He said I was the last girl he ever really kissed. I brought up Danica and he said that doesn’t count. It’s an act. But a real kiss that means something to him, he said I was the last.”
“Bullshit.”
“Right?” I almost yell in agreement. “I mean, how is that even possible? You’ve seen the girls at the concert. You saw them up close and personal on Johnny’s show. And even if we’re not talking about them, he’s around other celebrities all the time. To not be with any of them? I’m trying to wrap my head around it.”
“What were his exact words?”
Returning to leaning against the rail, I stare out over the water. Hearing the seagulls in the distance, feeling the light breeze, I shake my head, still not believing them. “Just what I said. Before we came back out to hang out, he said I was the last girl he ever kissed that meant something to him.”
“What were you guys talking about before that?”
Shaking my head, I let out a huff. “You and your stupid comment.”
“Z, I told you I’m sorry.”
“I know.” I pick at my cuticles. “Not really you, but Landon, yes. About how we’re going out and that I never brought it up because Derrik and I don’t bring up that kind of stuff. I told him he’s never mentioned any of the girls he’s ever made out with, so I figured it was something that we don’t talk about.”
Instead of replying with a usual jab, she pauses. When she doesn’t say anything, I turn and see her leaning against the rail as well, studying me. Her quietness brings a new sense of seriousness about this situation, something I don’t really know if I want to face. “You said that?”
I nod. “Yeah. It makes sense.”
“Yeah …” She trails off, staring at the water. “And he didn’t tell you why he’s never had a girlfriend since you two?”
“No. I don’t understand, he has this amazing life. He should be living it up.”
She begins chewing on her own straw now, taking a small sip of her drink. “Did you tell him how long you’ve been going out with Landon?” I nod. “What’d he say?”
“He asked how I like it. If I’m happy.”
“And then?”
“That’s it. Then he asked about the tacos we had.”
She cocks her head to the side, and I can see the wheels spinning. “He didn’t bring up dating, or even your guys’ time together last year. Not even when you two—”
“Don’t go there, B.”
“Okay, okay.” She lifts her hands. “But he didn’t say anything else?”
“No. That’s what I’m saying. It was pretty succinct, and he just wanted to know if I’m happy. Then he hit me with that bombshell.”
“Holy crap.” I can see her mind still working, and she nods to herself, staring out over the water. “I think he was telling you the truth.”
“What?” I deadpan.
“I think he’s serious.”
“San Fran!” Derrik calls out, standing on the stage. “You’ve been amazing! We love you!”
The crowd erupts into cheers, waving their hands around. It’s deafening, and the band runs off stage after their encore performance, once again bringing the house down. The stagehands, and what seems like dozens of other workers, begin to hurry around, grabbing speakers, cords, lights, and everything else that goes into their shows. Derrik runs over to Becca and me.
“How’d we do?” h
e asks, smiling and throwing an arm around my shoulder.
My conversation with Becca has still been on my mind, even throughout the show tonight. But when he smiles, I do, too. “Great. As always.”
“Zoey, he’s already got a big ego from being the lead singer,” Jade jokes, walking over to us. “You’re allowed to knock him down a rung or two.”
“What’s wrong?” Derrik asks.
“Nothing.”
Keeping his arm around me, we all head farther backstage, toward their room. “Z, I know that look.”
Exchanging back-and-forth glances, our steps slow. Do I really bring this up? If I do, what’s he going to say? Then again, what’s the point of bringing it up since I’m going out with Landon? I’ve already come to grips with Derrik and me. After we ended last year, I knew this was the right thing to do. So why should we rehash it? It’ll just end up tormenting me for weeks all over again.
“It’s nothing,” I repeat, fighting to keep the strained smile across my lips.
He doesn’t buy it. Stopping us, he locks those cobalt eyes on mine. “Zoey.”
“I’m serious,” I try harder, letting out a giggle. “I think I just had some bad chowder or something earlier.” Laughing, I rub my stomach.
For a moment, I think he’s going to keep pressing me as his eyes linger on mine. Cracking a smirk, he looks ahead, resuming our walk to the dressing room. “That sucks. I really wanted to take you to the Palace of Fine Arts. I wish we could’ve spent more time here.”
“It’s okay. Hanging out with Becca on the pier was fun. Maybe we can all do something together when we get to Portland since we have a day before your next show.”
He frowns as we reach the door. “Uh, yeah, about that … I’m flying down to L.A. tonight.”
“How come?”
He rolls his eyes, letting out an annoyed sigh. “I have this stupid thing set up with Danica. Her agent wants me to attend an event with her.”
“Oh.”
