‘Hi.’ It was Lucy. In jeans and pretty blouse, converse trainers on her feet, and her normally well-contained blonde hair tumbling over her shoulders. Her face was fresh and make-up free, her lips shining and her cheeks pink as though she’d been running in the fresh air.
Another why. Why, oh why had all that registered on his brain before he’d even thought to ask why she was here?
But he didn’t really care why she was here, he was just ludicrously pleased to see her.
After she’d witnessed Josie’s outburst on the green he’d expected her to come in all guns blazing, demanding explanations, or at the very least give him a wide berth. If somebody had done that to him, he’d have been off. Which might have been a sensible option for both of them. But he didn’t want to be sensible. He was more pleased to see her than he’d ever admit. The fact that she was her normal easy-going self left him feeling like a kid who’d won the best prize on the tombola.
Except he’d cheated. He hadn’t even bought a ticket.
He’d very nearly kissed her, he’d held her hand, they’d chatted, shared time and laughter. He’d asked her out for a drink. And he had no right. He’d not even had the guts to tell her why he had no plans to hang around, how he’d screwed up his life so royally.
But she was here. So maybe their date was still on. Or maybe she’d come to tell him to stuff off. He wouldn’t blame her. Or maybe if it was he should cancel it. Before this all got messier than it already was. He shouldn’t have asked her out.
He hadn’t a clue what the hell was going to happen next in his life.
‘I didn’t think you’d be open today.’
‘I’m not.’
She gave him a quizzical look.
‘Well, I mean I wouldn’t be normally, but I promised Serena I’d give her dog a quick check over. Not that there was anything wrong with it, apart from a bad temper. That dog needs a good run and some rough and tumble.’ He was rambling, she knew it.
She grinned, her hair swishing so that he caught a waft of something floral, and leant her forearms on the reception counter. ‘Do you think people are like their animals?’
‘Hmm.’ He pondered. ‘Well that little spoiled, demanding, pretty thing has some things in common with Serena. But,’ he paused. ‘You’ve got a pig, a fat pony, egg-bound chicken and stroppy goose, so what does that say?’
‘I’ve got a split personality?’ She laughed, an easy relaxed laugh that made him want to smile. ‘But they aren’t mine of course, I am purely the caretaker tending to their every needs.’
‘And a good job you’re doing of it.’
She blushed.
‘Look, I’m sorry about yesterday,’ he had to get it out, ‘I owe you an explanation.’ He didn’t know exactly what he was going to say, he still hadn’t worked it all out for himself.
‘You probably do, but that’s not why I came.’
‘Oh.’
‘Mischief was in the garden when I got back last night.’
‘You’re kidding!’
‘I kid you not. He’s a bit of an escape artist. Annie told me that he can undo the catch and I had to tie up the gate, but you weren’t to know that. No problem, he’d only got as far as trying to strip the blossom off the tree. He was all pink.’ She grinned. ‘Anyway, I found this.’ She held out his jumper. ‘By the gate.’
‘Oh thanks. I thought I’d probably left it in the pub, now you’ve ruined my excuse to go for a pint and check.’ She put it on the counter. Paused. Giving him an opportunity to say something. To say why he’d not mentioned an ex-wife, a daughter. ‘Coffee? Once I’ve locked the door so half the village don’t come calling.’
‘Well if you’re sure you’re not busy.’
She was giving him an out, the opportunity to dodge the issue.
‘No, no, I can fix that gate for you as well, if you want?’ What on earth was he saying? He hadn’t had a day off for ages. Since the day his world had been turned upside down and he’d buried himself in work. And now he was offering to find free time. But the words just carried on pouring out on their own. Amazing the effect of a guilty conscience. The opportunity to put off the moment of truth. ‘That pony is going to get even more determined to break out once we restrict his diet, and like I said yesterday I can help you put that electric fence up.’ It was for the pony’s good. That was all. She needed advice. Professional advice.
‘Well Matt did say… but I’m not sure he really meant it. It would be great, if you’re sure you aren’t too busy?’
‘I’m sure.’ She’d be better off with Matt. Uncomplicated Matt. Except he didn’t want her to be with Matt, he didn’t want to watch her laughing at some other man’s jokes.
‘If you tell me how to do it, I can cope.’
‘I’m sure you can, but I’d be glad to help. Really.’ Really? ‘One evening next week?’ Ignoring the fact that he had a full appointment book.
‘Sure then, thanks. I’ll have a word with Jim and find out where the stuff is. I wanted some other help actually, some advice, well more of a sounding board. I met Elsie Harrington today, do you know her?’
‘Oh yes, I know her. But she makes me call her Miss Harrington, I didn’t even know she had a first name. She’s lovely.’ He headed through to the small kitchen area and was pleased she followed him.
‘She wants me to have one of her pups.’
‘Healthy lot, they’ll make nice dogs if Molly is anything to go by.’
‘I’m sure they will, but it’s not that…’
‘Oh?’
‘It’s just that everybody assumes I’m staying.’
‘You’re not?’ He stopped short, his hand on the handle of the mug as it perched on the edge of the cupboard shelf.
‘Well it’s only a cover job, I’m only supposed to be here half a term.’
‘Oh, I thought…’ He wasn’t sure exactly what he thought, but she seemed so at home. ‘I assumed…’ Even though she’d told him she’d taken a temporary position, it seemed that she was already a part of the village community. Here to stay.
‘Everybody assumed.’ She sat down and started to play with a tendril of her hair. ‘It’s almost like if they believe I’m staying, then I will.’
‘And you don’t want to?’
‘Well I don’t not exactly.’
He was confused now.
‘It just wasn’t in my plan, it was a stop-gap until I could find something closer to home.’
‘Well surely Timothy Parry understands that?’
‘I think he sent Elsie on a mission to change my mind.’
‘It sounds funny somebody calling her Elsie, I think she’d give me one of her looks if I did it! Sorry, I am taking you seriously.’
‘Yesterday evening, after I came out of the pub, he told me that the school is at risk of closure, and he doesn’t think Becky will be back, and he asked if I could make my position more permanent. He thinks it will help persuade them that the staff are committed, that the village is.’
‘Well, I suppose it makes sense. But if you’ve got another job to go to?’
‘I haven’t. Well I have.’ She turned the mug round in her hands. ‘There is another cover job nearer to home, and it could lead to a permanent job, maybe.’
‘So, it’s perfect. No decision to make.’ Disappointment tugged at his gut. He’d miss her, although he probably wasn’t going to be here much longer either so it would be selfish to try and persuade her to hang around. And he needed to keep life simple.
‘But,’ she drew a breath, ‘I could make a difference here, and the job in Birmingham will still be there at the end of the school year, if it does materialise at all.’
‘So stay here, until then. Sounds good to me.’ And it did.
‘But working in a village wasn’t in my plan, and if it all goes wrong my CV will look worse than ever.’
‘Why?’
‘Made redundant at one place, followed by the next school closing down. I’ll look jinxed.’
/> ‘True. Go for the other job.’
‘But it would be selfish to go, if I can help.’
He chuckled. ‘So you don’t want my advice, you just want me to listen.’
She blushed. ‘Sorry. I needed to talk it through, but you know how as soon as you start explaining something out loud, it starts to make sense?’
‘I suppose so.’ He wished his own problem was that simple to solve. ‘You like it here, don’t you?’
‘Yep.’
‘So stay, do it. Follow your instincts. A few months out of your life,’ he shrugged, ‘but maybe skip the puppy part.’
‘I think I’ve got to stay.’
‘It looks that way.’
‘But no dog, definitely no dog. That is not in the plan.’
‘Do you have a plan for everything?’
‘More or less. A spreadsheet.’ She grinned. ‘Lots of spreadsheets. I even had one for moving here, what I needed to do each day. I put the electric fence down as a blue job.’
‘A blue job?’
She looked slightly embarrassed. ‘Well I’ve got pink jobs and blue one.’
‘Blue as in boy?’
‘Blue as in bugger it.’ She grinned, her dimples deepening. ‘Blue means I need more muscle so,’ she tipped her head on one side, ‘I suppose you could help with that one. But most of it is pink.’
‘I’m sure it is. Have you got one for today? A spreadsheet?’
‘Nope. I was too drunk last night to care.’
‘Then come for a walk with me? And a pint?’ He held his breath, waiting for the rebuff. Waiting for her to say she should have never said yes when he’d asked the first time. He could see the hesitation in her eyes, she was right, he shouldn’t be asking. ‘Just a drink, friends, allies?’
‘I suppose I could, but I do need to do some marking.’
He wanted her to say yes. ‘It is a bank holiday weekend.’
‘It is.’
‘I tell you what, when we get back I’ll feed your animals for you so you’ve got time to work.’ He was doing it again. He had patients to check up on, a full day tomorrow and he’d just offered to add to his workload.
She grinned again, and for some reason he felt more positive than he had for a long time. ‘Impossible to turn down an offer like that, Elsie would approve.’
‘Bugger what Elsie would think.’ He smiled back, he couldn’t help himself.
‘I’m sure she’ll let us know, she doesn’t miss much does she?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Charlie?’
‘Yes.’ He had a feeling he wasn’t going to like this.
‘She knows your ex-wife was here yesterday.’ Josie couldn’t have made her return more public if she’d tried. Turning up on the village green on May Day was better than taking out an advert in the local newspaper. Lucy’s voice was soft, the tone inviting him to explain, but not demanding. ‘Why haven’t you told anyone?’ It was his call. His opportunity to be open, explain. ‘People get divorced all the time, Charlie.’
‘It isn’t just divorce.’ That would have been a bad enough blow, but something he could have admitted to. Lucy’s steady gaze was still on him. ‘To be honest hardly anybody in the village has ever met Josie, I’m surprised Miss Harrington even knows who she is.’ But they all would be talking, wondering who the mystery woman was. ‘Look, I know what it looks like, but I haven’t abandoned my daughter.’ She was waiting. He struggled to find the words. ‘When we split up Josie wouldn’t let me see her.’
‘But she can’t—’
‘Josie gets what Josie wants.’
‘But why would she do that? It’s not fair on you or your daughter.’
‘I know.’ They were getting to the crux of it now, and he suddenly realised he wanted to tell her. Tell Lucy the shameful secret he’d been determined to keep from the village, from his family. ‘When she told me she was leaving me,’ he took a deep, steadying breath and forced himself to look her straight in the eye, ‘she said our daughter wasn’t mine and she didn’t want me to play any further part in her upbringing. She said it would be confusing.’
‘Not yours? What do you mean, not yours?’ She was frowning.
He’d had pretty much the same reaction himself. ‘Apparently I wasn’t the only man in Josie’s life. Don’t.’ He held up a hand to stop Lucy asking more questions. It was still too raw. He couldn’t talk about it in detail. Not yet. To find out she’d had an affair had been bad enough, but for her to throw their whole life, everything, into doubt…
There was a hint of a tremble in Lucy’s voice. ‘But on May Day she said…’
‘Yeah, it seems she’s changed her mind. Not about our divorce,’ he added hastily, ‘but she says I can see my daughter. Not that she let me yesterday – that was all just a ruse to get me to talk to her.’
‘That’s a bit…’
‘Cruel?’ He laughed, he couldn’t help it. ‘I wasn’t very happy.’ Which was the understatement of the century. He’d exploded with frustration when they’d got back and there was no sign of their daughter. When he’d realised what she was doing, Josie had just played the ice-queen. In all the time they’d been together, he’d never realised she could be like that. Strong-willed maybe, and a tiny bit ruthless. But not like this. ‘If she can’t get her way playing fair then she’s more than happy to play dirty. It’s too bloody complicated, Lucy. I’m sorry, I’m a mess, you should probably stay well away from me.’
‘I think that’s my decision to make.’ She put a hand out so that the tips of her fingers rested against his. He wanted to take her hand in his, wrap those slender fingers in his own hand, feel her warmth. But he shouldn’t. He couldn’t. She pulled back, as though she knew. ‘But she is going to let you see your daughter? You are going to?’
‘I don’t know right now. The worst thing would be to jump in without thinking it through properly and say yes. God knows I want to see her. But what if Josie then changes her mind again? I can’t risk that. I need to check where I stand, but,’ he paused, ‘I’m going to see her at some point, I’m sure about that. She’s my daughter.’ He gritted his teeth. ‘I don’t care about the biology, she’s my daughter. That’s why,’ he could feel a headache starting, the band tightening around his forehead, ‘I’ve not said a thing to anybody here. Oh Christ, I hope Miss Harrington…’
‘I don’t think Elsie will say anything to anybody. But she can’t be the only person to have noticed.’
‘I know.’ He groaned. ‘It was quiet though, most people had gone home or were in the pub. That woman misses absolutely nothing though.’
‘I like her, she’s pretty amazing. I just hope that when I’m her age I still look like that, she’s so stylish and on the ball. She’s,’ she paused, ‘you know I think she’s probably one of those rare people that is beautiful inside and out.’
‘So are you.’ That wasn’t supposed to come out. They looked at each other and he had a sudden urge to brush her hair back, to kiss her. Properly. He had to. He leaned forward, just as she lifted her mug, looking flustered and embarrassed. The flush of pink along her cheekbones, her mussed up natural hair, made her look less teacher, more vulnerable and attractive, very attractive, woman. He sat back awkwardly. He was being ridiculous. This whole situation was ridiculous, he was making an idiot of himself.
She put the mug down, and this time when she put her hand out, it was to cover his.
He turned his own hand over slowly, instinctively threaded his fingers through hers, taking comfort from the surprising strength of her touch.
‘You’re pretty amazing yourself Charlie Davenport.’
He swallowed hard as he looked into her eyes, glad that he’d not spoiled things by doing what he’d really wanted to do. ‘I wouldn’t…’
‘There’s not many people would be able to cope with all this, and carry on as normal. You really love her, don’t you?’
‘I do. She’s my daughter.’
‘She’s a very lucky little
girl, I wish I’d had a father like you.’
‘I’m only doing what any dad would…’
‘No.’ Her eyes were suspiciously bright, then he spotted the single tear on her cheek. He brushed it away with his thumb. ‘Not any dad, Charlie. A good dad, a brilliant dad. An amazing dad.’ She smiled and shook her head. ‘You’ve just made me realise what a shit dad my father was.’
‘Oh Lucy, what happened?’ He gripped her fingers tighter, shocked by the uncontrollable need to find out, protect her, that shot through him.
‘Nothing really.’ She shook her head again. ‘It’s nothing, honest. He just wasn’t the best. Just me being silly. Charlie, you’ve got to see her, you’ve got to make Josie let you.’
‘I’m going to do my damnedest, believe me.’ He watched the expressions flit across her face, and he wanted to press her, but something told him that now wasn’t the right time.
‘You don’t have to come into school you know. I’m so sorry for pestering, for joking about it, I didn’t realise…’
‘It was my fault, how were you to know? Nobody did.’
‘It is okay if you don’t want to, honestly.’
‘I want to, Lucy.’ An awkward silence crept in between them. ‘And the May Day procession was good, I enjoyed it.’ He had, he’d surprised himself. ‘I think it’s time for me to stop running, isn’t it?’
He released his grip on her fingers, pulled back, suddenly aware of the intensity between them. It wasn’t good. It was everything he had to avoid.
Another few weeks then that would be it. Their lives would go off in different directions. Whatever happened with Josie, he probably wouldn’t be here – under the watchful eye of the villagers. He’d be moving on, and she’d made the decision to stay. And if things went really badly, he might well be better buggering off to Australia and licking his wounds in peace.
If he kissed her now, if he started something, he didn’t want it to be a fling that lasted a few weeks. Something in his gut told him he’d want more, much more. He looked into her eyes. It was better not to even touch.
Summer with the Country Village Vet Page 18
