But she knew who he was talking about. There was obviously only one person on his mind.
The words tripped out as though he couldn’t stop them, as though they’d been there on the tip of his tongue since he’d arrived, and his voice had an edge to it that made her want to cry.
‘She was.’ She let herself move in closer, her voice softer as she thought about the sweet child that had reminded her a little of herself. ‘She’s a clever little girl, very bright.’
‘She is.’ He tugged at the foil on the neck of the bottle, slowly unravelling it.
‘I’m really sorry I pestered you to come into school and talk to the kids.’ It all made more sense now she’d seen just how cut up he was. How much losing his daughter meant to him. When she thought Charlie had been scared of coming in and chatting to her class, she’d teased him about it and carried on relentlessly. Oh God, she felt so guilty now.
Lucy took a sip from her glass. At least Charlie looked a bit more his normal self than he had in the afternoon. He’d tightened up the moment he mentioned Maisie, his jaw rigid, shoulders tense, but at least he wasn’t shaking like he had been after the earlier phone call, and he wasn’t as pale as the day he’d seen her outside the school.
He just looked shattered now, and a little bit lost. She wanted to throw her arms round him, tell him they’d sort it. But she didn’t. It would be false promises, and she knew all about those.
‘Well yep, it’s all a bit raw, but I was being an idiot.’ He swirled the liquid round in his own glass and gave a wry smile.
‘No you weren’t!’
‘I didn’t know if I was up to talking to a group of kids. I know it’s daft but I was worried I’d just be sitting there looking at them and wondering what she was up to.’
‘It’s not daft. It’s lovely, and natural.’ Lucy cleared the plates away and sat back down next to him. She wanted to sit closer, exactly where she’d been before. But instead they had a polite distance, and she wasn’t quite sure if she should close it or not.
‘But anyhow, I’m glad you did use those infamous powers of persuasion. I can’t avoid kids for ever cos I’m feeling sorry for myself, can I? And I enjoyed it, they’re a bright lot.’ He sighed, brushed back the hair that had flopped on his brow. ‘And I certainly can’t now it seems. But,’ he looked up, and although his brown eyes were looking straight into hers, she was sure he was thinking about somebody else. ‘I don’t get it, I mean our break up was really nasty, but I never had Josie down as evil. I don’t get what she thinks she’s playing at bringing Maisie here.’ He shook his head and looked down into his glass. ‘She loves Maisie, I can’t see her doing anything to hurt her. But it seems I didn’t know her at all did I?’
‘She didn’t seem nasty to me either.’ She’d always thought she was a pretty good judge of character, and it was hard to picture Josie as somebody who’d do this type of thing. ‘Actually, she did mention you, well not you by name. I mean, nobody else had a clue, but …’
‘Oh?’ He looked wary.
‘Jill said that Josie had told her she wanted Maisie to be nearer her father.’
‘But I’m not her father, am I?’ He downed his wine and reached for the bottle again. ‘I moved away so that she wouldn’t have her life disrupted, so what the fuck is Josie doing bringing her here?’
‘I don’t know, Charlie.’ She put a hand on his arm to catch his attention. ‘But even if you’re not her biological father, you are in every other way. What if Josie’s changed her mind?’
‘Oh no, she was pretty set that it wasn’t me that had…’ he paused as though he didn’t know what to say next.
‘She can’t change that bit, nobody can, but she can change how it’s handled.’ This close she could almost feel the hurt rolling off him in waves, even if he was doing his best to close it off.
‘It’s too late for happy families, believe me that’s not going to happen after what was said.’
‘Maybe she’s just going to move close enough so you can bring Maisie up between you?’
There was a haunted look in his brown eyes.
‘Charlie, I never saw my dad again after my parents split and I would have done anything to have met up with him. I wrote him letters, begged him to see us. I know how it feels.’
He gave a heavy sigh. ‘This is different, Lucy.’
‘No, it bloody isn’t.’ She banged the fist that had been resting on his shoulder onto his chest in frustration, and he caught it in his own large hand. Closed his fingers around hers. ‘There’s a little girl out there, your daughter, and as far as she’s concerned you’re her dad.’
‘If Josie’s met somebody, or if she’s with Maisie’s real…’ he faltered, ‘I don’t know if I can handle seeing that every day.’
‘This isn’t about you.’
‘I know.’ He ran his fingers through his hair. ‘Christ, Lucy. I want to see her more than anything, God I’ve missed her every moment of every day, but I won’t have her messed around not knowing where she stands. Surely that’s worse? Surely she’d be better with them, and forget all about me?’
‘She’ll never forget you, Charlie Davenport. I can promise you that. She might love you, hate you, lash out at you, ignore you, but she will never ever forget you. Trust me.’ She automatically squeezed his arm, willing him to believe her.
‘I do.’ He took a deep breath. ‘Josie did try to ring me last week and I ignored it. And,’ he swirled the wine in his glass, ‘she tried to get hold of me at the surgery earlier on the day Maisie was in school. But of course I didn’t know that then. I know, I know,’ he held a hand up, ‘I need to talk to her. I will. I promise. When I’m sober. Right, you said you’d got lots of drink, get the next bottle out.’ He looked at her. ‘I get her admitting that Maisie isn’t mine, even though it hurts like hell, I get her wanting to own up. But why try and push me out of her life? Has she got the faintest idea what she did to me? She’s an intelligent woman, Lucy. Smart.’
‘Maybe she was ashamed, maybe she pushed you out before you had a chance to leave. She only put her name on the forms Charlie, no other guardian.’
He shook his head. ‘Whatever her idea though, it’s not fair. I won’t be here much longer, I’m just a locum, here until Eric gets back, then who knows where I’ll end up. If she really has had a change of heart and wants Maisie to see me, then this isn’t going to work.’
‘But you could stay?’
‘I hadn’t planned on it. I was thinking maybe a cattle station in Australia might suit me right now.’
Lucy stared at him. ‘You’re kidding!’ She knew he’d mentioned moving on, knew that even though she was staying here longer, he might not. But, she’d thought he’d still be around, still be somewhere not too far away. Especially if he had Maisie to consider. The thought of him so far away, the other side of the world left her stomach feeling empty.
‘Sure, joking.’
But even though she was a little bit drunk, she spotted the glimmer in his eye that said maybe he wasn’t entirely.
‘Lucy?’ He was looking straight into her eyes and she realised with a start that she was practically in his lap. He’d not let go of the hand she’d banged on his chest, and her other was still clutching at his arm. ‘That kiss.’
‘It’s fine, I…,’ she went to pull away but he didn’t let go of her hand. If anything he pulled her closer. Against his warm body, his broad chest. Her side was pressed against his, his face was inches away. She swallowed.
‘Earlier on I was going to apologise, say I didn’t mean anything by it…’
‘That’s fine, I quite—’
‘But I didn’t say it, because it would have been a lie.’
‘Oh.’
‘It was a daft impulse at the time, but now I just want to try it again.’
‘You do?’
‘Just to see how it feels,’ he tilted his head on one side. ‘Would that be a problem?’
‘No problem.’ She was squeaking. Like a
mouse. She cleared her throat. ‘No problem.’ He was going to kiss her. Then he was going to flee the country. Fine.
Her lips were still sounding the last syllable, parted in anticipation when his mouth covered hers. For a moment there was that polite gap between their bodies, then he shifted his hips round, threaded his fingers through her hair and pulled her hard against him. And she didn’t care what was going to happen in the future.
Lucy was drowning; drowning in his taste, his smell, the feel of his strong body against hers. She was dimly aware of his thumb brushing against her jaw, of his other hand on her thigh, but all she wanted to do was press herself closer.
His tongue was exploring her mouth, skating over the edges of her teeth, and she caught her breath as his thumb rubbed over her nipple.
The warmth of his hand drifted down her body and it was her turn, to suck gently on his tongue until he groaned. A warm, deep sound that made her want more.
One finger strayed under the edge of her t-shirt and her stomach tensed, trembled in anticipation.
He paused, but she couldn’t stop now. No way. This had been boiling up inside her since that May Day drink. She swung over astride his lap, ready to rip his shirt open, but she’d only managed to fumble the first button open when he stood up, sending them both to the floor in a tangle of arms and legs.
‘I was going to say should I stop. But I guess…’
‘No way.’ Then he was peeling her t-shirt over her head as she managed to tug his shirt out of his jeans.
‘You’re bad. So bad.’
She wasn’t sure if she was bad, he was bad, or what as he stumbled to his feet, kicked his shoes off and staggered about trying to get his legs out of his jeans. But it didn’t matter.
‘Miaow.’ There was a loud indignant shout from the tabby cat as she flung Charlie’s shirt triumphantly in the air, then it scarpered into the safety of the kitchen.
***
Lucy tilted her head. The early morning sun was edging its way into the room, a soft unobtrusive glow, a promise of something good.
Like the heavy arm across her body. She squinted at the man beside her. Now that had been something good. But should she have?
Except she had decided, the day after her mother had visited, that from now on she was going to be completely open about everything. Absolutely everything. No covering up. No hiding stuff like her mum had done.
And admitting that she fancied the pants off Charlie (literally) had been unavoidable, especially once she’d realised he wasn’t exactly immune to her.
She bit her lower lip, very aware of the fact that her legs were entwined with his, entangled. Dangerously entangled. She tried to tug one gently away, not wanting to disturb him, but her foot was going dead.
After her chat with her mum she’d seriously thought about giving in to her urges and having one of Elsie’s puppies. Considered risking giving a little bit of her heart away, letting something more permanent into her life. But she was still considering. And that was just about having a puppy. That wasn’t a man.
She squinted at the gorgeous, complicated man in question. He scared her.
So did the realisation that he’d got a daughter. She wasn’t ready to be a step mum. Be responsible in that way.
Well it was just a pizza and a shag. He hadn’t actually said, or even hinted he wanted more. And he’d be leaving Langtry Meadows soon. Maybe. Unless he stayed. Because of Maisie. And she stayed, because the school needed her.
Oh God, could she cope with the emotional upheaval? Falling into bed with somebody like Matt would have been fun, an adventure… except she’d given up on the idea of just falling into a brief encounter years ago. If she really, really lusted after somebody it was because she really, really fancied them. It involved her heart, her mind, not just the hot, damp bit of body between her legs.
She was lying like this, slightly flattened in places (God he was solid), because she’d fallen hook, line and sinker for him. And that scared her.
He shifted. Opened one eye.
‘You’re thinking.’
She nodded.
‘Dangerous.’ He wrapped an arm round her shoulders and pulled her in tight against his chest, then sighed. ‘Thinking can be a pain in the arse, can’t it?’ His words were muffled, his chin on her head.
He had bigger issues than what being in bed together meant. Being there to support and help him with the whole Maisie issue was one thing, no way could she abandon him and leave him to sort it on his own. If he wanted her, she was there. But that sounded bloody dangerous. Frightening.
‘I’ve got a colt to castrate later, I suppose I better get up.’
Now what did she do? It was ages since she’d been in this position, and the last time she’d been younger, more confident about running around naked. Less wobbly all round. ‘That sounds fun.’ Fun? What had made her say fun?
‘Not for the colt.’ His tone was dry, amused.
‘I’ll let you use the bathroom first.’ She was dying for a wee, but she could wait. She was pretty sure she could get dressed in the time it took him to go to the toilet. ‘There’s a clean towel by the bath.’ She had a feeling her jeans were downstairs, abandoned somewhere between the sofa and the hallway.
‘Great.’ He threw the sheet back and she closed her eyes. Then opened them to peep as he headed stark naked out of the bedroom, nearly banging his head on the low beam as he went.
‘I can rustle up toast and coffee if you fancy.’ Once I’ve got my knickers on. He seemed to be doing a good job at keeping this casual, normal. The least she could do was join in.
***
Lucy paused as somebody rattled the door knocker. ‘That’ll be the milkman, I’ve not paid him for a while. Can’t get used to the idea that somebody is actually leaving it on my doorstep. It’s a bit like a tooth fairy.’
Charlie grinned. ‘You’re funny. Well go and do your fairy stuff and leave him some hard cash in return for his offerings!’
She stuck her tongue out, and dodged him as he went to grab her. ‘Drink your coffee. You’ll be late for your castration, whereas I, being on holiday, have all day.’
Lucy grabbed the money she’d left by the toaster and waltzed to the door, feeling more positive and at home since she’d arrived in Langtry Meadows. Having Charlie there was having a strange effect on her, making it feel almost like home.
Dangerous. But nice.
‘Morning.’ She flung the door open, then the words died on her lips.
‘I was told I could find Charlie here.’ It wasn’t the milkman. It was worse. It was a slim woman, with glossy red hair, and pale china-doll face. Thin lipped. Josie. On her doorstep.
‘Charlie.’ It came out as little more than a whisper. But he was there behind her, as though he knew. Or maybe he’d just heard his ex’s voice.
‘Josie.’ That one flat word held as much emotion as she’d ever heard.
‘I’ve tried to call you, and you’ve ignored me.’ Josie folded her arms and Lucy danced from foot to foot not sure if she should go. Although with Charlie slap bang up behind her, slipping away unnoticed wouldn’t be an option. She’d have to crawl between his legs. ‘Luckily somebody in the village told me where I’d find you.’ Lucy tried not to let the groan out. Everybody in this place was so bloody accommodating. Or was it just her they were keeping tabs on?
Josie was looking them up and down and Lucy opened her mouth to object, but Charlie raised a warning hand and spoke first.
‘I was going to call—’
‘We need to talk. Now. I can’t put this off any longer Charlie.’
It was Charlie’s turn to fold his arms. ‘Oh you’re so right. We do need to talk. Maybe we needed to talk before you came waltzing over here with my,’ he stopped himself, ‘Maisie in tow.’
‘Well, can we sit down like adults and talk now?’
‘Give me one good reason.’
Josie sighed and her whole posture softened. She looked more like the woman that ha
d brought Maisie into school. ‘I’ve decided Maisie needs you in her life, but,’ she gave Lucy a look, okay maybe she hadn’t softened, ‘you need to promise me that you’re not going to complicate things by shagging her school teacher. Despite the fact that I have it on good authority,’ she paused, ‘that nobody can resist her charms.’
Chapter 19
‘Making the most of the good weather, love?’
Lucy glanced up from her snipping and tying back duties, to see Jim pushing the garden gate open.
‘I certainly am. Lovely isn’t it?’ She wiped her arm over her brow, trying not to smear soil down her relatively clean t-shirt.
‘Everything in hand then? I told our Annie that you’d be the girl for the job.’ He cast an eye over the garden. ‘Looking tidier than when the old fool herself is here. You’re a gem.’
Lucy wasn’t sure she was a gem, but she was pleased that she’d passed the inspection. ‘There was just one thing, actually.’
‘Which is?’
‘It’s just all the garden rubbish, I wasn’t quite sure if I was supposed to burn it? I can’t fit it all in my bin or in my car to take to the tip.’
‘Don’t you worry about that, love. I can soon get that shifted for you. I’ve just been to see Miss Harrington, I do a bit of tidying there for her, and I can get your rubbish shifted the same time as hers.’ He tapped the side of his nose. ‘I know just the man for the job, and if he’s doing what he should be he’ll be on his way to her place now.’ He started to root through his pockets and after a few minutes triumphantly waved his mobile phone in the air. ‘Save me scampering back to her place if I use this, won’t it?’
Lucy wasn’t quite sure she could imagine Jim ‘scampering’ but she just smiled.
‘Darned thing.’ He jabbed at the keys with a stubby finger. ‘Why do they make them so small and fiddly? It’s one thing trying to see the darned numbers, and even worse trying to click on the buggers. These things were made for midgets. Ah, here we go.’ He held it to his ear, and proceeded to bellow. ‘It’s Jim, Jim, yes can you come and collect some stuff from our Annie’s when you’re done there? Got the trailer haven’t you lad? Splendid.’ He took the mobile phone away from his ear, looked at it suspiciously for a moment, jabbed a button and dropped it back in a pocket. Rubbed his hands together. ‘Right then, that’s that sorted. Anything else I can help you with love while I’m here?’
Summer with the Country Village Vet Page 26
