“Tairren, why do you tell me this now?” she softly asked as more tears flowed. “Why haven’t you told me these beautiful things years ago?” She squeezed his hands as she pressed her chest to his. She felt confused and numb, and wished with all of her heart that she would have known how he felt for her years ago…
They could feel the heart pendant between them as they came so close to each other.
“Remember the day when I found you singing in this very forest?” he asked, touching her cheek. She shook her head yes, still quiet, stunned. “I wanted to tell you then, but was frightened, insecure, I wanted to kiss you then like lovers do, because that’s the way I felt and still feel for you. I’m sorry I never told you, I never meant to upset you,” he whispered as his face came closer to hers, “I love you…”
They kissed, their first and seemingly last kiss, ever so gently, feeling the smoothness of each other’s lips. They gently touched each other’s bodies as their gentle kisses evolved into passionate ones. They could feel it, the passion emitting from each other’s mouths and hands. It seemed as if electricity flowed through their fingertips and bodies. It felt right, perfect, like beholding a sunrise on a fresh spring morning or lying in a clover field with the breeze upon their bodies. They wrapped each other in love, a love that seemed to be locked away and set free for the first time.
Tairren laid her down upon the cool, soft grass, gently laying upon her as they still melted in each other’s kisses. He touched her face and her neck tenderly.
“Wait, Tairren,” Marrisa said as she stopped kissing him. She sat up quickly, stunned and quiet.
He looked into her eyes as his heart pounded ferociously.
“What is it, my love?” Tairren asked, caressing her face.
“I can’t do this knowing that I will never see you again after today.” Marrisa’s face looked sad and beautiful at the same time. “I cannot, knowing that I will be married to another man… We must stay pure… Our innocence must not be tarnished! I feel as if my heart shall burst and I don’t know if I’m happy or that I want to cry with sadness... We shouldn’t be doing this…when we don’t belong to each other…”
Her body wanted Tairren’s so badly, but she knew that her heart would not be able to withstand the mental outcome. Her heart was breaking, and she didn’t want Tairren’s heart to end up like hers.
“I’m sorry—Tairren… I have to go,” Marrisa said as she stood up. She put her hand to her forehead as tears began to stir.
Tairren stood up quickly, grabbing her waist.
“Please,” he said as he touched her face. “Please don’t go.” Passion burned in his blue eyes as he gazed into hers. “Let’s run away! Let’s do something to get away from here! I know in my heart, that you are for me—and I know you feel it deep within yours. Please tell me you do…”
He didn’t want her to ever leave his side. He wanted her forever… He craved her touch already as she backed away. And if he couldn’t have her—he still wanted her to say that she loved him too. He wanted to hear those words from her sweet lips…
She grabbed the blue heart that dangled on her chest, fighting back more tears. She didn’t know what she could possibly do to change the ultimate outcome of her future. She didn’t understand anything at that moment and just wanted to run away from everything. She wanted to just disappear—on her own.
She gave him one last hug, followed by one last passionate kiss. Then she tore herself away from him.
“I will never forget you, Tairren.” Her face was emotionless now as tears began to flow again.
She turned quickly, running off into the pastel colored sunlight, through the forest—leaving him like fallen petals from a wilted rose…
Tairren watched, stunned, as she ran away towards the field. He wanted to run after her so badly, to come up with an escape plan, to run away with each other—somewhere far, far away. But this time he couldn’t run after her like he did once before in the forest. He knew he wouldn’t be able to say or do anything to change the situation, or her future. “Alas my love—why do you leave me crushed and torn…,” Tairren thought to himself. He could literally feel his heart breaking as she disappeared into the brush of the forest; cracking and crumbling one piece at a time. He stood there for what seemed like hours. His heart ached so badly as he realized that he may not ever kiss her full, beautiful lips ever again or see her charming face. He would never be able to touch her, or feel her body against his. He would never love another woman the way he loved Marrisa. Tears formed in his eyes as his heart felt as if it were ripping from his chest.
He couldn’t take it anymore. At that moment he ran to his home, which felt as if it were miles away.
Moral was startled as he burst through the door, breathless.
“What in God’s name is wrong, Tairren?!” she fussed as she stood up.
Her eyes were wide with worrisome curiosity.
“Mother, I have to go tonight, I have to see Marrisa again. I don’t care if she is a princess or not, I have to be close to her. I love her.” His face was anxious and filled with emotion as he walked back and forth, running his hands through his black hair. He breathed heavily as Moral walked to him with that same worried face. “I have to see her, to change her mind—to get her to run away with me—something! She is the woman for me, I feel it in my heart—she is the one. God created her for me…”
“My son, sit down, calm yourself. You can’t go running around saying such things.” She walked him to the wooden chair that was next to the table, sitting him down. “I have something for you.”
She walked over to her little room area, pulling something out from beneath her bed that was wrapped in a white cloth.
“I’ve worked on this for a while now, trying to make it as elegant as possible,” she said as she sat it on the table, unfolding the white cloth. “I was going to give it to you later on this evening, but, I think now is best.”
Tairren stood up, unfolding the expensive looking light-blue fabric that was revealed from beneath the white cloth.
“Blue, like your eyes,” Moral said with a smile. “It suits you.”
He lifted it up, letting the rest of the blue fabric unfold itself. It was a tunic, and a really beautifully sewn tunic that looked like it belonged to a courtier. It was adorned with exquisite embroidery with golden trim around the collar and the bottom edges.
“Mother, it’s fantastic,” Tairren exclaimed with a big smile. “You are a true artisan.”
“There are new trousers and a new black belt for you as well.”
“This must have cost a fortune,” Tairren said, picking up the belt and trousers.
“I’ve been saving some money here and there; and I bought the best fabric in Minslethrate. I’ve been sewing every morning after you left to open the shop.”
He gave her a hug and kissed her on the cheek. His face glowed with zeal as he looked back at the splendid tunic.
“I know this may be risky, but you should go tonight—I do feel it in my old heart. And you will be the most handsome young man at the ball. I want you to experience this with a beautiful young woman whom you care about most. You’ll fit right in splendidly, looking more stylish than the courtiers themselves.” Moral had a smile on her face that went from ear to ear. “Now take them dirty boots off and let me clean and shine them up for you.”
Tairren was happy that he was given a chance to see Marrisa again. He had to see her one last time before the night was up. He knew that him going to the celebration wouldn’t change Marrisa leaving, but at least he would see her one last time…
†††
The dark-blue clouds from the South finally made its way to the kingdom. They stretched their long billowy arms out across the land, making the land look dark and haunting as the wind picked up.
Marrisa ran through the woods, making it to the edge of the darkened forest and out into the opened fields. The wind blew her hair and gown around as she ran up a grassy slope. She stumble
d to the ground, falling on her hands and knees. Small drops of rain began to fall, turning into bigger drops. Marrisa began to cry again.
Many thoughts whirled through her head as she stayed on her knees. She was so confused, more than ever as she thought about Tairren, and him kissing her, and what could’ve happened if she stayed with him in the forest. She wished none of it had happened, because it was making it so much harder for her to say goodbye, to everything. But at the same time she wished that she would’ve stayed longer with him in the woods…
So many things had happened to her emotionally that day and she felt as if her heart and feelings were an unending storm. She never cried so much in one day as she did that day. She didn’t know what to do, her body felt numb, frozen from the chilling rain and her broken heart. She wanted to go back to Tairren, but she knew that it would make things harder on both of them. She realized that she did love Tairren, and that he was the only man on earth that made her feel like she wanted to feel, safe and loved—and free... She wished that he would’ve told her those things years ago; but she didn’t blame him though. They could’ve had plenty of time to come up with the perfect get-a-way plan, to run away with each other. But she knew that everything happened for a reason.
At that moment she wished that the wet ground beneath her would just devour her, allowing her to be part of the earth. The rain came down harder now, pouring on Marrisa as she lay down on her back. The rain felt refreshing but cruel simultaneously. It felt as if it were washing her misery away, but adding to it at the same time. She laid there for a while, wishing that the rain would just drown her...
Marrisa finally stood up, wrapping her trembling arms around her bosoms. After what seemed like hours of laying on the wet earth beneath the rain, she slowly made her way towards the castle through the relentless weather…
“Happy Birthday,” Marrisa thought as she walked through the main gates of the castle. She walked along the huge wall of the courtyard. Cherry blossom trees lined the inside of the wall, creating more concealment for Marrisa as she continued to saunter along the brick.
She finally made her way through the courtyard to the side door of the castle. She walked through the servant’s quarters of the castle, rushing past bustling servants as she hurried to a back hallway. The servants stopped what they were doing, gazing upon the very soggy and depressed looking princess. She didn’t stop to even look at them. She knew that there would be a lot of gossip amongst the servants about her rushing through that back door, looking the way she did. She didn’t care though, she felt as if she didn’t really care about a lot of things lately anymore.
She rushed through the back hallway, running up a flight of cold stairs and through her main hallway. Her cold wet gown clung to her skin, sending goose bumps through her flesh as the air hit it. Marrisa ran into her room, slamming the door shut behind her. She was surprised that no candles were lit, not even the fire place was lit; and for the first time she wished that they were. The room was dark and cold, and she could barely see anything. Any minute, she thought, Lilith would come knocking on the door. But there was no knock, not even one of her handmaidens came in to see if everything was okay.
Marrisa sat against the door of her room, sitting in the light that crept beneath the door. The light seemed to want to touch her cold and darkened body, but it couldn’t. She began to cry as she felt so alone, so sad. She held the blue crystal pendant that hung on her chest, squeezing it in her hands until they began to tingle. She began to think about Tairren and everything he said to her, everything she loved about him. She wished that he was by her side, putting his arms around her. But she knew none of it was going to happen—ever again.
Marrisa sat alone in the dark, wondering if the rest of her life would be this way. She wondered if it was even worth living. She wondered how she could even be a great queen and a dedicated wife to Phillip if she didn’t even love him, or her future life. She continued to cry as she put her hands to her face. She hated being alone, she hated crying so much and at that moment, she realized that she hated herself…
†††
…There was a Loud Silence…
The dark chamber was cold and dreary, filled with the strong presence of something that held only madness and darkness. Lilith sat there in the loneliness of her small chamber, with no light or no warm feelings of love or existence, in the wet air that came in through her small opened window. The weather outside was horrendous, exploding with lightning every so often. The excited flickers of the lightning bounced off her skin and glassy eyes.
During every strike of powerful light, black shadows appearing like slithering creatures and horned things could be seen creeping across the stone walls, emitting from her seated silhouette. Those were the dark spirits within her—and they were anxious. Her eyes were large and unblinking, not moving except for a sporadic twitch. The room was silent except for the crashes of lightning…and the noises in her head. The sound of a thousand treacherous voices bombarded her mind, crushing every sane thought that tried to trickle through. The taunting voices never stopped, never. She never slept, ever, but her body and mind seemed to be energized by the thousand wicked souls, making her cold heart pump. She never ate, and her body didn’t seem to care.
The small room began to stink of death the night before last and still continued to linger, but that didn’t bother her because the stench didn’t make it out of the room yet. Her bloody sacrifice began to finally fester and rot, still laying on the stone floor where she cut the innocent young woman open to steal her heart…and left her corpse there for the flies and maggots. The corpse’s eyes stared at the ceiling, foggy and grayish looking, unblinking as young flies developed on them. Lilith had devoured the heart the night before last as well, when everyone in the castle lay fast asleep in their beds.
She did as the dark father wished. The blood of the innocent filled her empty heart, which pleased him. Her mouth had only tasted blood within the last ten years, which she consumed on the strange nights when the moon was the fullest. Usually it would have been an animal deep in the forest, for the simple fact that it was not as risky. She tried to keep the missing numbers of people down to a minimum, and that’s why she went for servant blood first. Missing nobles would have put the people in a state of panic. But it was time for human blood now, a much worthier sacrifice to the Lord of Darkness…
There was another crash of lightning, a loud one, which made her head twitch to the left a little. Even though her body was energized, it seemed to be drifting away, as well as the last little bit of her heart she had left. It was like a small flame burned inside of her…and it was slowly going out…
“Do it and live forever… Do it… Live forever… Do it… YOU ARE MINE… I WILL NEVER LET YOU GO… Do it and live forever... DO IT FOR ME… You are a god… do it… Do it… DO IT! …”
The constant voices were strong in her head, never leaving her, never. Her large black eyes stared off into the blackness of the room as she spoke to herself, the voices within her mind and soul…
“I know she is home now, I do. I know where she went… YES WE KNOW YOU KNOW, THAT’S WHY YOU WILL DO IT. She was with the disgusting ones, I hate them, I do… We know, we do too, father hates them too, there’s so many of us, that’s why you will do it. I long for her blood, you do too, you do, but they will get in the way, the disgusting ones will, I know they will! Father, they will! They will! YES I KNOW—THAT’S WHY YOU WILL STOP THEM, WE WILL HELP YOU.
“I’ve been sensing that the light in Marrisa’s heart is weakening, I have… Yes, it is, time draws near, her heart is as feeble and as vulnerable as most, we will shroud her heart with ourselves, we will. I feel the disgusting light strongest in the boy who is called Tairren, father… YES, I KNOW, WE ALL KNOW, YOU WILL NOT LET HIM INTERRUPT, YOU WILL NOT! WE WILL HELP YOU DO IT… Yes, I will do it, we all will, I will wait in the shadows for her like I usually do... Yes, we will be lurking in the black shadows—the celebration grows near. This is
the night we have all been waiting for, this night. Do it… Do it… DO IT—TAKE HOLD OF HER HEART AND SMITE THE LIGHT WITHIN!”
Every night Lilith’s body always sat that way, talking to the dark ones and staring off into a black abyss of insanity as the many taunting spirits crept about her—until the morning sun came over the mountains in the south. Ever since she first met father, her heart progressively hardened like a black lump of coal. But this seemed to be the last night she would ever sit this way—because the great celebration drew near, marking the time of great change and the beginnings of a reign of terror…
CHAPTER 8
I Am Called Natas
The castle began to fill with many courtiers, nobles and many other important people of Minselthrate, each family being announced as they graced the hall with their presence. The halls echoed with laughter and loud chatter as it came closer to the time of the royal feast. Everyone was so dapper, dressed in their finest eveningwear. Many people talked of how beautiful everything was, and how excited and happy their princess must have been.
Natalia walked into the great hall with her mother and father, being announced properly by one of the high servants of the castle who welcomed the new arrivals. Natalia glanced here and there, looking for Marrisa. She looked around, noticing how beautiful everything was. She thought it must have taken them since morning to get everything looking the way it did. Long veils of white and light-blue fabric hung everywhere, along with long streamers made of white cambric, roses and lilies, which were twined together. Every chair and table was adorned with the same fabrics and flowers, making everything look so whimsical. Tall candles were lit on every table, as well as the great candelabras that dangled from the tall ceiling. Servants were dressed in plane, but nice dresses and tunics that were the same shade of blue as the decorations. They all stood up against the walls of the main hall, waiting to be summoned.
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