“You’re not going to lose me.”
“I never thought I was going to lose Nathan. Did he ever tell you about me?”
“Yes. I didn’t know it was you, though. He always called you Jossy but I didn’t make the connection. And he never really told me much about you. Just that you’d become friends and that you had terrible taste in music that he was bound and determined to change.”
I almost smiled, remembering. “He did say that. A lot.”
“Did you love him? Is that why?”
I put my other hand on his chest.
“No, I didn’t love him in the way you’re asking. I loved him like the older brother I always wanted, but never had. I have a lot of siblings, but I’m not very close with any of them. They tend to come and go when my parents get married and divorced. I’ve had so many people walk in and out of my life, and he was one of the only people I was sure would stay, would always be there, and now he’s gone and it’s my fault and I can’t stand it if I lose you, too. I can’t, Dusty, because I love you. I love you so much and I can’t lose you, too. I can’t.” This time I was the one who reached for the kiss, and he met me halfway.
“I don’t want to lose you, either, but neither of us is going anywhere, right now, at this moment, so we should enjoy it.”
“Live the day,” I said, touching the sides of his face. He felt so good.
“Yeah, Nate used to say that.”
“I know.”
“So let’s live, Joscelyn. Right now.”
So I brought his mouth back to mine, and our lips had another joyous reunion. Now it was time for our bodies to be introduced. The kiss got more intense, and he pressed himself against me, and I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I wanted to give myself to him, completely.
“Take me to the bedroom?” I said. No second-guessing.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Live a little with me.”
“Okay, Red.” He picked me up and carried me to my bedroom. I didn’t think about if it was a bad decision or not, or second-guess the intelligence of doing this now, when I was so emotionally fucked. It was exhausting doing all that thinking. Just like when I gave myself up to the melody of an amazing song, I wanted to give my body up to this amazing guy. No, not give it to him, share it with him.
“The Scientist” was still playing, so I shut my computer and the music stopped and only the sound of our breathing filled the room. Dusty kissed my lips and then down my neck. It was a little more frantic this time, as he couldn’t get enough of me. Well, the feeling was mutual. I nearly tore his shirt off in my haste to get him undressed.
“Easy, Red,” he said as it got caught on his head and he had to help me pull it the rest of the way off. I traced the tattoo on his arm.
“‘Little brother.’ Nate had one that said ‘older brother.’ But you probably knew that.”
“I do now,” I said, kissing the tattoo before going back to his lips, which became more and more demanding as his tongue plunged into my mouth, as if he was trying to taste my soul. I let myself go, and he removed my shirt and then my bra with expert hands.
“One, two, three, four,” he said kissing from my cheek down my neck and in between my breasts. “Five, six, seven...”
“What are you doing?” It came out as a semimoan as his tongue licked one of my nipples.
“Counting your freckles. It might take a while. Eight, nine, ten—” I grasped his head as he took one of my nipples into his mouth and sucked on it. He stopped counting as he ravaged me with his mouth, and I wrapped my legs around him and made incoherent sounds, begging him for more.
He moved to the other breast, making sure it got just as much attention, which was very considerate. I nearly lost my mind when, at the same time, he slipped his hand under the waistband of my sweatpants and stroked me there, as well. He had done this before, and had learned well, but I wasn’t going to ask. Who really cared?
“Fuck,” I moaned in the grip of building pleasure. He kissed down my stomach, his hand still working, and he dipped his tongue into my belly button. I had no idea how sensitive that area of my body was until now.
All I could do was hold on as he scooted my sweatpants lower until I was completely exposed. He still had his pants on, which was hardly fair, but I couldn’t do anything about it as his mouth joined his hand and lights exploded in my head and I thought I was going to die with the beauty and intensity of it.
And then he started humming, his mouth and lips vibrating against me in a way that made me cry out. I thought I recognized the tune, but shortly later my brain gave itself over and I lost myself to him and his mouth and the sweet ecstasy. He hummed and kissed his way to my inner thighs, which trembled as I felt another one coming, only seconds after the first. This really wasn’t fair at all.
I let go of his head and reached down, but his pants were well out of my reach. I made a little sound of protest and the humming cut off.
“What’s wrong?” His head came up and his hand stilled. I was granted a momentary reprieve.
“It’s not fair. I want to touch you, too.” I tried to drag him up my body, but he wouldn’t let me.
“I’m sorry you feel that way,” he said, as he slipped a finger inside me and dipped his head back down. “But I’m busy right now.” With every word he moved his finger in and out and moved his tongue, as well. He added another finger and I was completely helpless again as I burst into a million shards of glittering pleasure.
Dusty took me to the edge again, merciless in his attack with both mouth and fingers until I was quivering and unable to move.
“Now you may touch me,” he said, sliding up my still-heaving body. My hands were a little shaky at first as I tried to undo his belt and then went for his zipper. Now it was his turn to moan as I slid his pants and boxers down, finally getting to touch him everywhere.
I’d always been scared of this part, of the actual sex part. What if it hurt too much? What if I did something wrong? What if I was really bad at it? When I’d been with Matt, those things had always run through my head, but in this moment with Dusty, as I stroked him and heard him growl and say my name, I didn’t think of any of those things.
I kissed my way down his chest and saw that he was having trouble keeping himself above me. I smiled to myself as I took him into my mouth, and he was the one making incoherent sounds. I had no idea what I was doing, but he seemed to like it, so I started humming and he nearly collapsed on me.
“Jesus, Red. You can’t do that when I’m above you,” he said, putting a hand in my hair and pulling my head away. “Sometime I’ll let you do that again, but right now, I just want to get inside you. Do you have something?”
“I live with the queen of safe sex,” I said, pointing to my nightstand. “Second drawer in the back.” He reached over me, and I started stroking him again, up and down, twisting my hand a little.
“I can’t even remember my own name right now,” he said, fumbling for the box and moving so he was beside me.
“Are those okay? I don’t really know what you’d like.” Now was not the time to start babbling, Jos.
He kissed me, and I took that as a “shut up, Jos” as he pulled one out and tore the package open.
“I can do it,” I said, taking it from him. “Renee taught me how. That’s not as weird as it sounds,” I said as I rolled it on and he closed his eyes and breathed through his nose. I got it on in one try. Renee would be proud. Or maybe not. I should probably stop thinking about her.
“Are you ready?” He moved so he was above me. “Or if you wanted to do it another way, we could—” I stopped his question by grabbing him and moving my hips up. He slid inside me and I prepared for massive amounts of pain.
“Did I hurt you?” he said, once he was fully inside me.
“No,” I lied. I
t was more of a dull ripping feeling, as opposed to a stabbing pain. I tried to let my body get used to having him inside me. “Just give me a second.” He held himself so, so still, and I let myself fall into his eyes and get trapped there.
“I love you,” I said, tilting my face up for a kiss. His head came down and our lips met.
“I love you, Red.” I wrapped my legs around him and shifted my hips back, and he started moving. It hurt a little less the second time, and a little less, and then I could feel myself building again, the two sensations of pleasure and pain mixing together and overtaking me. I rocked my hips up to meet him as he increased his speed, hell-bent on destroying both of us. It got rougher and I welcomed it, my fingernails digging into his shoulders and my voice asking him for more.
Finally, he shuddered above me and fell against me, being careful not to crush me. Both of our chests heaved and we were slick with sweat. He kissed my lips and tried to pull out, but I grabbed his butt to stop him.
“Stay with me.”
He kissed my nose and moved my hair out of my face and then pulled me close. We were as connected as two people could possibly be, and in that moment of clarity, I realized that it didn’t matter. Whose fault it was about Nathan. Dusty and I were both alive, and he wasn’t.
We were getting to do all the things he wouldn’t. But that was okay. He always told me I needed to find a guy who appreciated me, who knew how lucky he was to have me. Little did he know it would be his brother. Or maybe he did know.
I wasn’t a big believer in anything, but this would be just the kind of thing Nathan would have dreamed up. Bringing us together, but making us work for it first. The thought of telling him that I had finally found someone, and the look on his face made me start laughing. Dusty finally pulled out because he had to, but he didn’t move away from me just yet.
“What are you laughing about, Red?”
“I’m just thinking that Nathan is somewhere laughing at the two of us for being idiots.”
That made his face split into a smile so wide I thought it was going to break his face.
“You’re right. This is exactly the kind of thing he would pull. I know he definitely wouldn’t have set you up with me in my before state.”
“Ditto,” I said, shifting a little and wincing.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Dusty said, stroking my arm.
I gave him a kiss. “I’ll live.”
“And live, and live, and live.” He tapped his finger on my shoulder and I realized two things at once.
One, that everyone in the house had probably heard us, and two, that I was bleeding. Either one of those things was enough to turn me into a human stoplight, but both made me want to die.
“Oh, my God.”
“What? What is it?” Dusty was on the alert.
“I need to go and take care of something,” I said, trying to get up so he wouldn’t see the results of what we’d just done, but he stopped me and then looked down.
“Oh, Red. It’s okay. Why don’t you go wash up and I’ll take care of this?”
“It’s not just that, Dusty. This room isn’t soundproof.” I pointed to the ceiling and he looked up.
“I completely and totally forgot we weren’t the only two people in the world. Well, it was nice knowing you. Renee is probably going to kill me now and chop my body into little equal pieces and scatter them everywhere so no one will ever find me.”
I gingerly climbed over Dusty and grabbed the first thing I found to cover myself with, which turned out to be his shirt.
“Oh, this is bad, bad, bad.” I went to open the door, but Dusty stopped me with a hand on my waist.
“Joscelyn, the only bad thing here is that I can’t take you back to bed right now because I want to. I wish there were some way that we could just stay in bed together forever and never leave this room. I wish we could make these little moments, right here, right now, last forever.”
I turned in his arms.
“Well, I can make this last a little longer. Come shower with me?” His hands dipped under the shirt, eager to get me naked again.
“I would love to. Almost as much as I love you.” He pressed me against the door.
“I can’t believe no one has come down to drag your ass upstairs for a good old-fashioned beat down.”
“Oh, I’m sure that’s coming. So, if these are my last moments, I want to spend them naked with you.” He growled and swept me into his arms and I squealed as he carried me toward the shower.
* * *
“So. You have deflowered my sister,” Renee said, pacing in front of us. Dusty and I were on the couch, hand in hand.
“Renee!” I said, my face going scarlet.
She held her hand up for silence.
After the lovely shower with Dusty, we’d gone back to my room and gotten dressed to face the judge, jury and executioner.
When we’d emerged from the cave, the house had been quiet, but I could hear people talking on the second floor.
“Maybe they gave us some privacy?” I’d said, shocked.
“Or maybe they’re lying in wait,” Dusty had said behind me. “Let me go first.”
He’d sneaked up the stairs, with me right behind him, and we’d found everyone in Darah’s room, except for Mase and Hunter, playing with Napoleon.
The moment Renee looked up and saw me and Dusty, she’d grabbed both of our arms and dragged us downstairs, and here we were. Getting reamed out by the best.
To his credit, Dusty hadn’t run away, which was a plus. It was nice to have someone to hold on to while Renee was on the warpath, even if I was more scared for him than I was for myself.
“So,” she said, pivoting on her heel. “So.”
I waited for her to say something else.
“Did you use protection?” Of course that was her first question.
“Yes,” I said, beating Dusty to the answer. “Condoms and the pill.”
Renee narrowed her eyes and glared at Dusty.
“It’s true,” he said, his hand holding mine a little tight. I almost laughed. The confident Dusty Sharp was scared of my sister. Scared shitless.
“How long have you been planning this?”
I started to answer, but Renee turned the glare on me.
“I want to hear it from him.”
I shut my mouth and looked at Dusty.
“Honestly? I’ve been trying to be with your sister since the first time I saw her. Right about the same time I realized that I loved her.”
Renee nodded and started pacing again.
“You fell in love with me at first sight? Really?” I’d heard of it happening, but always just chalked it up to lust instead of love.
He brought our joined hands to his mouth and kissed them.
“Of course. I told you, it was like I met you and I knew. Took myself a long time to realize it, though. But I told you. It was impossible not to fall for you.” He was so sure of himself, spoke as if it was such an easy thing to say.
Renee started pacing again.
“And how am I supposed to believe that? I mean, it sounds like a really good line to feed a vulnerable girl to get in her pants.”
“If all I wanted was to get in her pants, I would have given up a long time ago. Your sister is...” I waited.
“Stubborn,” he supplied with a grin as he flicked some of my hair off my shoulder. “Comes with the hair, I think. Or maybe it’s genetic.” He turned and smiled at Renee, and she faltered for a second. Ha.
She cleared her throat and tried to collect herself for the next line of attack.
“Be that as it may, I am still not very happy about this.” I started to say something about how I was of age and could make my own damn decisions and after everything Dusty and I had bee
n through to find each other, I wasn’t going to let her stop us, but she kept going and ignored me.
“I trusted you to keep an eye on her. Just an eye, not your entire body. And I’m still not sure if I trust you, and I want to know what happened between you, but...” Dusty and I waited with bated breath. Whatever that means. I’d never understood the phrase before, but this certainly felt like it.
“I can’t stop you from seeing each other. You’re Hunter’s friend, and this is Hunter’s house and you’re going to be here anyway. I also know that if I try to keep you apart you’ll come together quicker than you can say ‘star-crossed lovers.’” I started celebrating in my head, but I knew it was probably too good to be true.
“BUT,” Renee said, as if she sensed my precelebration. She stood in front of Dusty and leaned down until their faces were level.
“There will be rules, and I will get everyone else in this house to enforce them. You will have her home at a reasonable hour. You will not take her anywhere I would not want her to be. You will never, ever, EVER hurt her, because I will come after you and I will make your death slow and painful. Got it?” By the time she was done, their faces were so close I wanted to tell Renee to back it up.
“I am sufficiently terrified,” Dusty said. “So yes, I’ve got it.” He looked away from Renee and at me.
“You okay with those terms, Red?”
“I will agree to them on one condition,” I said, holding one finger up. Renee finally stopped trying to stare Dusty into submission.
“You will be nice to my boyfriend and not threaten him anymore. Got it?”
Renee thought about that for a second, and I could see her fuming.
“Deal.”
“Deal,” I said, sticking out my hand, and we shook on it.
“Boyfriend, huh?” Dusty said. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” He leaned over and gave me a kiss, which was either a very brave or very stupid thing to do, seeing as how Renee was within slapping distance.
My Sweet Escape Page 28
