Lesley nodded. “It won’t be easy. If we could read her journals after that point, I’m sure we’d find despair and doubt, along with the triumphs.”
“Tell me about it.” Mo sat forward and brought her hand to her mouth. “I’ve hardly had time to think over the past few days, ever since you told me about… It’s going to hit me, you know. I mean, it has, but it’s still kind of unreal right now. When you two start getting closer, there will be plenty of despair to go around.”
A chill ran up Lesley’s spine. She rubbed Mo’s back. “I don’t want to see you the way you were after your mama died.” She’d rather never act on her feelings for Jayne.
Mo shook her head. “I blamed myself for Mama’s death. The guilt sucked me into a black hole I couldn’t escape, not without help. This is different. I’ll be mad. I’ll hate both of you—and love both of you. I’ll worry about whether you still love me. But I won’t feel guilty. Well, not about you and Jayne, anyway.”
“You shouldn’t feel guilty about you and Jayne, either.”
Mo turned toward her. “No? So you won’t feel guilty at all about you and Jayne?” There was an edge to her voice.
Point taken. “Well, okay, I—”
Mo groaned. “I didn’t come over here to have this conversation. I came over because,” she suddenly stood and thrust out her arms, “it’s the night before our Joining Ceremony.” Her enthusiasm didn’t ring completely false. “The night before our Joining Ceremony! What were the chances?” She pointed at herself. “I knew, though. I always flaming knew.”
Lesley couldn’t help but smile. “Yes, you did. I never should have doubted you.”
“No, you shouldn’t have. But I know you were only trying to temper my expectations, so I wouldn’t have been completely crushed if it turned out that we weren’t Chosens—not that there was ever any possibility of that happening, of course. I hadn’t factored in the possibility of a third Chosen, though, so we won’t exactly have the life I imagined together. But not having you as my Chosen would have been worse. I’m going to do my best to be grateful for what I have, rather than wishing things were different.”
Lesley looked up at her. “You really mean that?”
“Yeah. And I’ll flaming-well tell myself that every time I want to curl into a ball and cry.” She bit her lip. “I couldn’t have lived without you, Les. I would only have gone through the motions.”
“Me, too.” Lesley rose and enveloped Mo in her arms. “So we’ll do the best we can.”
“I’m glad it’s Jayne. I suppose I’d say that no matter who it was, since she’d be our Chosen, but when I first heard Jayne’s name, I didn’t think I’d ever say it at all.”
“Me, either.” The thought of sharing Mo with Jayne—with anyone—had angered her. It still did. It still hurt; it still woke her up in the night and would for a while. But they’d make it. If anyone can do it, we can. Over the coming years, she’d probably say that to herself more than she said the Words. If anyone can do it, we can. And Mo was right. A triad was the second to last thing Lesley would have wanted. Not having Mo as her Chosen…
She tightened her arms around Mo, kissed the top of her head, closed her eyes, and thought about their times at the Learning, Indoctrination, and Military Academies, their first kiss, their first night together, the joys, the arguments, the emptiness during their separation. Lesley would endure anything, as long as she had Mo. Endure? It felt that way now, but she believed that, in time, Jayne would enrich her life with Mo, not destroy it. Jealousy, despair, and doubt would wage a campaign, but they would not conquer her triad.
Mo drew back. “I should go, before Papa comes looking for me, or I run into your mama.” She put on her cloak and gazed at Lesley. “This is it, then. The next time I see you will be on the steps.” Her eyes moistened; she averted them from Lesley’s face and walked toward the archway. “Okay, I’m going, or I will be here all night.”
Lesley followed her. Without a backward glance, Mo opened the front door and stepped outside. Wanting to say good-bye, Lesley opened her mouth to call out to her, but Mo stopped and spun around. A smile spread across her face as she pointed at the threshold. “Next time I walk through this doorway, I’ll be a Thompson. Good night, Les.”
Her throat tight, Lesley could only croak, “Good night,” in return. She stood in the doorway and watched Mo pull her bike from the rack and ride off, and was still there long after she could no longer see Mo’s orange cloak in the darkness.
*****
A loud knock at the front door set Jayne’s heart racing, even though she’d expected it. Mo, right on time.
“She’s here!” Carol squealed as she passed Jayne on her way to open the door. She whirled. “Oh, wait, you do it. You probably want a quiet word with her before we leave.”
Jayne wasn’t sure her mouth would cooperate. Were Mo and Lesley as nervous? She took a deep breath and somehow managed to walk down the hallway and open the door. Mo looked up at her. “Hi.” Her uniform’s buttons glinted in the early afternoon sun.
Jayne had last seen Mo in her dress uniform at the awards ceremony, but it was the memory of Mo striding into the room at the Chosen House and introducing herself that flashed through Jayne’s mind. At the time, she hadn’t appreciated how much of an effort that must have been for Mo. Rather than offering a smile and a handshake, Mo had probably wanted to punch her in the face. What was running through her mind now? Picking up a second Chosen so they could both Join with Lesley wouldn’t have been on the list of things she wanted to do in life.
“You look nice,” Mo said. “Blue suits you. I’ve always loved it on you. I guess that’s why I really liked this outfit when you tried it on at the Trading Centre.”
Her cheeks burned. She’d better say something before Mo asked if she’d lost her voice. “Thank you. You look nice, too.”
Mo rolled her eyes. “In the same thing I always wear?”
“You do!”
“It’s a good thing I’m not the type to get upset because someone’s wearing the same outfit as me. There will be a lot of uniforms around today.”
Including on their other Chosen. Jayne cleared her throat. “I guess Lesley is on her way—”
Mo’s comm unit beeped; she swung it up and peered at the display. Her brow furrowed. “It’s Karen,” she said as she pulled the unit from its holder.
Karen? Was something wrong with Lesley?
“We just arrived at the Chosen House,” Karen said after the usual exchange of greetings. “Lesley asked me to beep you, to warn you that there are quite a few people here.”
“How many is quite a few?” Mo asked.
Silence, then, “The crowd stretches all the way from the Chosen House to the holding area.”
Argamon! They’d have to walk through all those Rymellans?
Mo’s face looked as tight as Jayne’s muscles felt. “Thanks for letting us know. See you soon.” She disconnected and muttered, “Sounds like we’ll have quite the audience.”
“I hope Carol and Ronald won’t be stuck at the back.” She wished they could be on the steps, not jostling for position among Rymellans who were only there to gawk.
“I say let them walk with us. They can veer off when we’re almost at the steps.”
“But—”
“If there are as many people as Karen says, everyone will understand.” Mo smiled. “At least we know Les is there. Anyway, we should get going. I know she has a short meeting with Watkins, but then she’ll be waiting on the steps for us.”
“Yes.” Jayne turned to call Carol.
“Jayne.”
She turned back to Mo.
“Anything I say is going to sound obvious and stupid, but I’ll try, anyway. Today is a good day. When I’m in the Joining Chamber, I’ll mean every word, and I’m looking forward to a life with both my Chosens. I love you.”
Jayne stared at her, suddenly wondering if she was dreaming. She’d expected to have a Chosen who tolerated her exist
ence, and would have put the odds of hearing I love you on her Joining Day at zero. When she’d learned that she had two Chosens, both in the military, she’d radically revised that expectation to a short life with no Joining Day. She couldn’t have been more wrong. Here she was, all dressed up with tears in her eyes and a proud Chosen in front of her, one she loved, cherished, and respected, and would do so for the rest of her life. She could say she understood that Mo had never wanted a triad, that Mo was making the best of an undesirable situation, and that, for her, the worst was yet to come. But why say it? It wouldn’t change anything, and it would trivialize Mo’s determination to view her Joining Day in a positive light.
She met Mo’s eyes. “I love you, too.” Then she was in Mo’s arms, not caring whether her outfit would be wrinkled or what the neighbours thought. An Adams in the arms of a military officer in dress uniform! What next? Pink elephants flying through the sky? A year ago, Jayne would have considered the latter more likely to happen.
*****
“Look at all the people!” Andrew breathed. “Karen wasn’t exaggerating.”
Mo hopped off the craft and surveyed the crowd that stood between her and the steps that led to the Joining Chamber’s entrance. Okay, once her stomach muscles unclenched, she’d be able to walk. She forced a grin. “The whole sector must be here.”
“And then some,” Nathan said.
He wasn’t helping! Someone gripped her arm; she wasn’t surprised to see Jayne’s pale face, and reached across to pat her hand. “We’ll be—”
“Let’s get a move on!” Papa pointed to his left. “There’s the rest of the family. Come on.”
Everyone fell into step behind him, maybe relieved that he’d taken control. They probably would have stood at the craft all day, otherwise. Fortunately, the holding area was roped off, restricting the crowd to a healthy distance away from the area.
A stranger—with a familiar face—stood with Mo’s other siblings. It had to be Robert. Mo would keep his striking resemblance to Jayne to herself, sure that Jayne wouldn’t appreciate the observation.
“Good, you’re all here.” Papa gazed at Robert. “You must be Jayne’s brother.”
Mary laughed. “That’s what we all said as soon as we saw him. You look so much like him,” she said to Jayne.
Thank you, Mary. That had to be a new record for putting one’s foot in one’s mouth at a family event, and undoubtedly only the first of the many similar gaffes that would take place today. Had there ever been a Joining Day on which someone hadn’t inadvertently said the absolute worst thing at some point? Mo glanced at Jayne. Yep, Mary’s remark hadn’t gone down well, but the others probably wouldn’t notice the slight tension around Jayne’s mouth. She could read Jayne almost as well as she could read Les!
Jayne’s smile was strained—to Mo. “Yes, this is my brother, Robert. Robert, this is Mary, and this is—”
“We’ve already introduced ourselves to each other,” Robert said curtly. “Don’t you think you should introduce me to your Chosen first?”
Jayne’s face flushed. “Sorry, I—” She let go of Mo’s arm. “This is Mo Middleton.”
“Pleased to meet you,” Mo said, grudgingly extending her hand. She’d just broken another record: from curiosity to hate in mere seconds. Moron.
“Pleasure.” Robert’s handshake was firm and his eyes cool.
“This is my youngest brother, Nathan,” Mo said, taking over the introductions and deliberately introducing Nathan before Papa. If Robert didn’t like it, tough.
“Are you sure you want us to walk with you?” Carol said when Mo had finished introducing everyone. “We can leave now and find somewhere to stand.”
“I want to be able to see them when I’m on the steps,” Jayne whispered to Mo.
“We want to make sure you’re as close to the front as you can get,” Mo said. “Walk behind us and peel off when we’re almost at the steps.”
Carol frowned. “I doubt people will appreciate us going to the front like that.”
“Who cares? We don’t know half these people. They’re just here so they can say they were here. You and Ronald should be—” A loud roar from the crowd drowned out her words and made her heart pound. What the—?
“Disobedience means death. Death to those who commit a Chosen Violation. Death to those who disobey. Death to those who violate the Way. Death to those who violate the Way! Death to those who violate the Way!” Applause and cheers filled the air. As soon as the ruckus died down, the crowd chanted the Words again, and then again, with no sign of stopping. Now that her initial shock had dissipated, Mo understood the reason for the crowd’s sudden enthusiasm. Anticipation and apprehension fuelled her racing heart and turned her legs to jelly. The Thompsons were on the steps. Les was waiting for them.
“Time to go,” Papa shouted.
Apparently deciding that whether to walk with the families was now moot, Carol grabbed Ronald’s hand and pulled him behind all the siblings, who were forming up behind Mo and Jayne. Mo winced when Jayne’s fingers dug into her arm, though she sympathized.
Papa stood next to Mo. “Ready?”
She inhaled deeply and slowly exhaled. After everything she and Les had been through, all that stood between them now was a boisterous crowd that would not intimidate her. She nodded at Jayne, and smiled when Jayne, who looked terrified, nodded back. “Ready!”
They walked. Mo now acknowledged what she’d noticed as soon as they’d landed, but hadn’t wanted to think about: the military presence. Orange cloaks were everywhere, and most weren’t worn by her and Les’s friends. Interior officers were here to ensure that, no matter how anyone in the crowd felt about the triad and Jayne, they’d keep their mouths shut. Suggesting that the triad would fail because Jayne was in it, or that the triad shouldn’t exist, had been tolerated while exercising CT134 was still a viable option. Doing it now, while standing outside the Chosen House as two Chosens walked toward their Principal: suicide.
One of the many military standing guard around the holding area removed a section of rope, and the Middletons and Adamses left their haven and strode through the remaining open space that separated them from the crowd. Then they were engulfed. The noise was deafening; many chanted, some sang on either side of a makeshift aisle formed by military personnel. Mo kept her eyes forward, but she could sense Jayne’s panic. She pried Jayne’s fingers away, took her hand, and shouted, “Keep your eyes on Les.”
Jayne’s brow furrowed. She bent her head and leaned closer.
“Keep your eyes on Les,” Mo shouted directly into Jayne’s ear. Any other time, Jayne would have recoiled, but not in this racket. Mo wasn’t sure Jayne could even hear her. “Keep your eyes on Les!”
Jayne nodded and straightened. Mo squeezed her hand. Keep your eyes on Les. We’re walking to Les. The specks on the steps were coming into focus. There she was! Mo’s breath caught in her throat. Her vision blurred. The crowd, the clamour, faded away. We’re walking to Les. We’re walking to Les.
*****
Her eyes peeled for her two Chosens, Lesley absently chanted the Words along with those assembled. She couldn’t wait for Mo and Jayne to arrive, not only because she wanted to Join with them, but to get off these steps. Usually extended family and friends gathered outside to share what Lesley felt was a private moment, even though it took place in public. Well, they would greet each other, smile for the obligatory images, then leave the spectators behind until after the ceremony. They’d already agreed that Jayne would introduce Robert to the Thompsons inside the Chosen House.
The crowd suddenly roared; the chanting grew louder. Lesley fixed her eyes on the path the military had cleared and sensed the excitement of her parents and siblings, who were standing behind her. She’d spent her life preparing for this day, and had expected to force a smile as she waited for a Chosen who wasn’t Mo—or walked to that Chosen, if she hadn’t been the Principal. But here she was, waiting for Mo and a Chosen who wasn’t Mo. The situat
ion reminded her of a riddle, or one of the logic problems she’d puzzled over as a child.
Her heart leaped. I can see them! She resisted the urge to wave, but couldn’t stifle the grin that spread across her face. It wilted as her Chosens approached. They appeared wary and harassed; while she’d stood on the steps resenting being on display, they’d experienced the ordeal of making their way down a narrow path with only military separating them from the crowd pressing in on both sides. She wanted to run down the steps and meet them, but that wasn’t done, and her Chosens were strong women who didn’t need rescuing.
From the moment Lesley had spotted them, Mo and Jayne had gazed at her, but from a distance. When they reached the bottom of the steps, they could finally see her. She nodded at them, then tensed when Mo bounded up the steps with a smile splitting her face, dragging Jayne along with her. The handshake they’d agreed upon was going to be more. Perhaps Mo needed a hug after braving the walk to the steps, or perhaps she was caught up in the moment. Either way, Lesley put aside her aversion to publicly displaying affection and held out her arms, an invitation Mo enthusiastically accepted.
Lesley held her tightly. “I love you.”
“I love you, too!” Mo shouted back. Fortunately the clamour from the crowd would prevent anything said—or shouted—on the steps from reaching those below.
Aware of Jayne hovering behind Mo, Lesley drew back, beamed at Mo, then let her go. After Mo had moved to stand at Lesley’s right. Lesley met Jayne’s eyes and reached for her. “You and I are truly Chosens,” she said into Jayne’s ear. “This is only the beginning for us.”
Jayne’s cheek flexed against Lesley’s. “It’s a wonderful beginning.” She paused. “Thank you for never wavering.” Then they parted, and she took her place at Lesley’s left.
The image taker was already in position in front of them, waiting for the families to line up behind the triad. Robert must be among the group; with her attention firmly on Mo and Jayne, Lesley hadn’t noticed. As several in the families changed position in response to the image taker’s shouted suggestions, Lesley put an arm around each of her Chosens’ shoulders and felt their arms pressed against her back. She didn’t need eyes in the back of her head to know that Mo and Jayne’s arms were touching each other, and inwardly smiled.
The Triad Page 30
