by Ciara Graves
“Why?” she whispered. “What did I do, huh? Why me?”
I had no answers to give her, nothing to say that would make her feel better. “I don’t know,” I finally said. “But we’ll get through this together. Don’t worry about them, any of them. You focus on the end game and please, don’t push me away. Not now.”
“I don’t want to.” She curled against my chest, there in the woods, in the dead leaves and dirt.
She didn’t say anything else, but the words hung in the air all the same. She didn’t want to push me away, but she was going to do it anyway. The voices inside her head, the spirit of the Sa’ren people, they’d make her shove me to the side. And once again, I was helpless to save her from this torment. I couldn’t take on the rings and the power for her. All I could do was sit here, be with her, and tell myself I couldn’t be the one to finish her off if it came down to it.
I wouldn’t be the final one that betrayed her.
Chapter 2
Seneca
Draven and I sat in the woods, holding hands, talking quietly about nothing important. Our backs rested against each other’s, and as the sky began to lighten, I squeezed his hand.
“You need to get inside.”
“I’ll be fine for a bit longer,” he replied.
“I don’t want you to get burned. Go inside. I’ll be there in a little while.”
He shifted behind me and then his lips were pressed against my forehead. I leaned into his touch, hugging him.
“See you inside then.” Then he was gone.
I moved only far enough over so I could rest my back on a tree trunk. As the sun rose, I watched the sky lighten, the pink giving way to orange then brighter shades of yellow that would eventually turn to a cheery blue sky. It was going to be a sunny day. How perfect. I shut my eyes, knowing I should get back to the cottage, but everyone was there. I smiled. No, they probably weren’t. Draven would kick them all out for me. That’s how good he was. He’d do everything he could to keep me from losing my mind now.
Someone had to because I wasn’t sure how long I could hold out.
You’re not alone. We’re here with you. We’re always here with you. Remember your purpose, Seneca. Remember why you have the rings.
“Go away,” I whispered, not in the mood to hear them now.
The voices, now that I knew who and what they were, didn’t frighten me, but they were irritating. How was I supposed to carry the weight of an entire people on my soul? They continued to whisper and promise me greatness, but all I wanted was a few moments alone. I scrunched my eyes shut and breathed in deep, let it out, then did it again. Bit by bit, my body relaxed, and then I wasn’t in the woods anymore. The ground beneath me turned soft, the tree at my back was gone, and the smell of wet, decaying leaves was replaced by a fire in a hearth and the sweet aroma of fresh blood.
I didn’t even open my eyes but felt a goblet pushed into my hand, gently, and the cushion I sat on sank as someone joined me on what I realized now was a couch.
“If I might be so bold as to say this, you look terrible, my pet.”
I laughed quietly, opening my eyes to find myself back in the room with Rudarius. He too was smiling.
I shrugged. “I’m never going to be rid of this place.”
“Do you want to be? You and I both know you could sever this connection.”
He was right. I did know that. I could do it right now and ensure I’d never come back, but the thought of doing that left me feeling uneasy. I drank the blood he’d handed me and rested my head against the couch as I pulled my feet under me.
“I still hate you.”
“For now. You hate me for now.”
I was too mentally exhausted to argue with him. Why was I even here? I should be at the cottage with Draven, and yet I was here to what? Let myself be comforted by Rudarius? A small sliver of understanding and almost forgiveness started to appear in the back of my mind. He might’ve turned me, but Rudarius had been used just as I had. If the mages had wanted to keep me safe, they would’ve. Rudarius never would’ve gotten his hands on me.
But he had. And he’d created the only weapon strong enough to destroy him. It was sad really. I almost told him as much, but all the voices of the Sa’ren were shouting all at once, and I cringed from the resounding pain it left in my skull.
“Do you ever wonder if you would’ve made different choices what would’ve happened? How different this would’ve turned out?” I asked quietly.
Rudarius tilted his head, studying me closely. “I do.”
That surprised me, and I looked into his eyes. They were not red, but a dark hazel. They were clear. I’d never seen them like that. It was a trick most likely, but I didn’t call him out for it.
“And?”
His eyes searched mine for a long, drawn-out moment. “And I realize no matter what I chose, I would’ve ended up right where I am now, for the most part. I wish… I wish I would have been different in one regard, Seneca, and one regard only. Then perhaps you wouldn’t look at me like you wished to see my head removed from my body.”
I drained the blood in the goblet and set it on the table. “What would you do if you found out everything you thought you knew was a lie?”
“Ah, I see. More of the truth has come out?”
“Traitors. I’m surrounded by traitors and villains. All except Draven. So before you say anything against him, I’d watch it,” I added.
Rudarius gave me a sardonic grin. “You know me oh so well.”
“Yeah. Still not joining you.”
“Then why have you come here? Hmm? Surely if you wanted to be comforted, you would be with Draven and not me.”
I rose, unable to sit still any longer. “Draven could never understand this anger inside me.”
“But I can.”
You’re drawing him in. Do it now. Show him you have the upper hand. Show him what awaits him. Use his own power against him. Do it, Seneca. Do it now.
“Seneca?”
I rolled my head on my neck, and turned to face Rudarius again. “You do comfort me,” I admitted, not sure where the words came from, but his eyes widened at them all the same. “It’s strange and something I can’t explain, but you do.”
He came to me then, walking slowly as if approaching an animal that might try to take his head off. He’d be right on that count. “Then join me and be done with the others. I will not betray you.”
I cupped his cheek in my hand. “I know because you already did.”
The partial smile that had been on his face at my touch faltered. “What?”
I placed my other hand so I held his face as I hissed quietly. “You betrayed me all those years ago. You told me the truth, yeah, but you betrayed me. Care to see? Care to know exactly what you did to me?”
“Seneca, what are you doing? This isn’t you.”
“What’s not?”
“That look in your eyes,” he said, trying to pull free, but I held him fast. His hands covered my wrists, but there was no breaking free of my hold. “Seneca.”
“Oh, is that fear I sense in you? Good, let’s see if we can’t amplify that feeling.”
I wasn’t sure how he created this room for us to be in, but I closed my eyes and imagined it shifting around us.
Rudarius struggled to get free, but he wasn’t going anywhere, not with so many voices inside my head urging me on, giving me the strength required to keep him right where I wanted him. Trapped in my grasp for a change. I sensed the room changing, twisting, and the moment I recognized it would appear as I wanted, I opened my eyes.
We were in Rudarius’s dungeons just as I remembered them. I let go of his face.
He stepped back, looking around confused. “What are we doing here?”
“Showing you what true fear is.” I shoved him into a wall and manacles snaked up his arms, forcing him back against the harsh stones. Two more closed around his ankles. “There.”
He strained to pull free, his eyes fearful a
nd wide as he shook his head. “What are you doing?”
“Showing you all I remember of the comfort you gave me.” I stepped to the side as a line of vampires moved forward, their faces expressionless. Each one was familiar from my memories though; yet another vampire Rudarius forced to bite me, feed off my blood. “Shall we begin?”
Rudarius didn’t scream, not at first. He cursed and shouted for me to stop this madness as the vampires tore at his arms and neck, biting him with relish. And it was just that, madness.
I knew this wasn’t me torturing him. I didn’t want to stand there and watch as his skin became torn and bloody, as his anger gave way to true fear. When he started to plead with me, I reached as if to undo the manacles, but the chorus of voices rose within me again, and instead, my hand went to his mouth. He fought against me, but in this reality, I was stronger. I pried open his jaws, and as he growled and hissed, I tore his fangs from his mouth as he shouted. As he watched, I shattered them into pieces in my fists, turning them into dust.
He sagged against the wall, blood gushing from his mouth open and wounds.
“Not wings, but I’m sure it still hurts.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Why do you think?” I leaned against the wall beside him. “Just giving you a taste of your future. How do you like it so far?”
The dungeon shifted around us.
I frowned. I wasn’t doing that. Rudarius’s hands suddenly snapped free of the manacles, and he grabbed hold of my shoulders. I blinked, and we were back in the other room. He threw me into the far wall.
I bashed my head against the stone. My vision blurred and my stomach heaved, realizing what I’d just done. Granted, he was Rudarius, the enemy, but I just sank to his level. I tortured him for the joy of it.
And you’ll do it again and again until we break him.
My eyes slipped to the rings on Rudarius’s left hand. That’s all they wanted so they could be free to do as they pleased.
Rudarius roared, and his fist collided with my face.
I didn’t even fight back, my mind in turmoil over it being pulled so many directions.
He punched me two more times, but on the fourth, his fist stopped short of making contact. “Seneca?”
There was nothing I could say.
He needed to die, and those rings, I prayed they’d be destroyed with him. The second the thought crossed my mind, the voices screamed as one inside my head and I screamed with them, clutching at my temples as I fell to the floor.
Rudarius was talking, but I had to get away from him, away from this damned place. I pictured myself back in the woods, and when I rolled over to my back, I looked up into a maze of tree branches swaying lightly in the breeze. The screaming had stopped. Dead leaves fluttered down around me. The sun had been up for a while now.
Draven was probably worried about me.
Had he felt any of what I just did? Gods I hoped not. I scrambled to stand upright, but the world spun around me, and I was left bending over, losing whatever tiny amount of food I’d had last night.
You will weaken him, and when the time comes for the final battle, you will defeat him.
“I can’t do this,” I whispered when I finished heaving. “I can’t.”
You don’t have a choice. You will do it willingly, or you will become nothing but a puppet, unable to think. Unable to move as you want. What would that do to poor Draven, huh?
“Don’t you dare talk about him.”
Then do as we say, and all will be well. You’ll see. Everyone who ever thought they could use us, control us, will no longer matter. It’ll be over soon. Just follow the plan. Stay on course. All will be well.
All would not be well, but if they heard that thought, they stayed quiet.
I stumbled through the trees until I reached the field. The cottage seemed so cheery sitting there in the sunlight surrounded by a white fence. It should’ve been happy, filled with life. And instead, it was becoming a prison. Draven was already too worried about me. I couldn’t let him know how bad it really was inside my head.
Couldn’t admit that I was slipping toward the side of evil. Torture. I just tortured Rudarius. And I enjoyed it. A shudder had me digging my nails into the bark of a large maple, holding onto it until the tremors finally ceased. I would just have to find a way to use this power inside me and not let it use me. Even as I thought it, a faint echo of laughter fluttered past my ears.
They could laugh all they wanted, but I was not going to lose myself.
I was not going down that easy.
When I arrived back at the cottage, Draven had been sleeping, but it was far from peaceful. He tossed as I watched, hissing as his face screwed up in pain. My name slipped from his lips, and I hurried to change into my sleep clothes and crawled beneath the blankets beside him. His arms instinctively found me, pulling me to him. I closed my eyes, the hardness of his chest against my back more comforting than any other sensation I could think of. My eyes slipped closed, and eventually, I drifted off to sleep.
Sometime later, there were voices coming from the living room.
From behind me, Draven growled. The sound rumbling through my body. “What’s wrong?”
“I told them not to come here until nightfall. That is not nightfall,” he muttered, pointing toward the heavily curtained window with a hint of sunlight clinging to the sky. “Stay here. I’ll scare them off.”
“No, it’s fine. We should get up anyway. See what’s going on.”
He growled against my neck, then pulled the covers up over our heads. “Not yet.”
I couldn’t help but smile as he kissed my shoulder. I spun around in his arms and captured his mouth with mine. I’d been having a good dream for once. And I noticed belatedly, there were voices clamoring for attention in my head. Those voices. Maybe staying in bed for a bit longer would be a good idea after all. I was about to tell him to go ahead and yell at everyone to leave when there was a loud knock at the door.
Draven snarled as he sat up. “What?”
“Messengers have arrived from the covens,” Marlie called through the door. “And the fae are going to be arriving in a couple of hours. We need to talk about where we’re going to start putting everyone.”
“Can’t this wait an hour?”
“The vampires seem anxious to speak with you. Is Seneca awake?”
He glanced at me as he replied. “Not yet. Why?”
“Macron wanted to know how she was doing.”
“I’ll be sure to let her know he’s asking about his damned personal weapon.”
I rested a hand on his shoulder, his body humming with his sudden anger.
“Tell the vampires I’ll be out soon.”
“Draven—”
“Soon, Marlie, and not a damned minute more.”
Marlie’s steps shuffled outside the door for a minute longer, then the voices left the living room.
Draven fell back to the bed, his arm over his head.
“Macron really ticked you off last night,” I commented.
“And not you?”
“Oh, he did. Don’t get me wrong, but I don’t want you committing murder on my behalf.”
“I’d take on the world for you,” he said so sincerely as those blue eyes looked into mine.
My heart stuttered. “Same,” I replied, pressing my palm to his cheek. He turned so he could kiss it. “But there are worse enemies to face, and we’re going to need everyone we can get, right? Maybe after Rudarius is dead, we can kill Macron.”
I worried for a second he wouldn’t realize I was kidding, until he laughed and kissed me again.
“I guess I should get out there before your brother comes back.”
“Might be a good idea.”
As soon as he left my arms, a din of noise crowded inside my head. I cringed.
Draven turned back, a question on his face.
I held up my hand to tell him I was fine, but the closer he moved toward me, the less I heard th
e voices that crowded my mind, telling me to get a move on and get back to the plan.
Draven’s hand found my shoulder, and the voices died completely.
“No shit,” I whispered.
“What is it? The voices? Are they back?”
“They were.” I glanced at his hand. “Step back for a second.”
“Seneca, what are you doing?”
“Just do it, please?”
He frowned but took a step away from me. The voices crowded me again, and a strange buzzing sounded in my ears. I saw what I did to Rudarius, the torture, and how the voices wanted me to do it all over again. I grabbed for Draven’s hand, fumbling to place it back on my shoulder. The second he made contact, there was only me inside my head again.
I grimaced. “Damn it.”
“Can you tell me what’s going on here?”
“Whenever you’re touching me, I can’t hear the voices at all.”
His gaze slipped to my hand. “I know you don’t want to, but what if you just take the rings off, just for a little while. Give yourself a break.”
“No. It’s too risky.”
“But if it gives you a chance to think clearly.”
I shook my head. “And lose what control I do have over this power? You saw what I was like before. Even then, they were calling to me. With the rings, I at least can’t go supernova and destroy everyone before Rudarius gets his chance.”
“Alright, then what do you want to do?”
“Stay by you as much as I can.”
He kissed my forehead. “Don’t think that’ll be an issue.” He glanced over his shoulder toward the bathroom. “For the most part.”
“Get ready. I’ll wait for you here. I’ll be fine for a few minutes.”
He didn’t look so sure but said he’d be quick and blurred into the bathroom. The shower turned on a second later, and I laid back down, closed my eyes, and focused on positive thoughts. Not on the rings crackling with energy on my right hand. Or the plan the voices wanted me to carry out. Or how I tortured Rudarius as he tortured me. I wasn’t going to sink that low. I couldn’t.
