So Much to Learn

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So Much to Learn Page 8

by Jessie L. Star


  ~*~

  It was Saturday morning.

  I couldn't believe it had only been three days since I had walked in on Brad and Allison. My world felt so different. Not as normal or safe, but certainly more interesting.

  As bright early morning sun shone merrily through my gauzy curtains, I sat up in bed, hugged my knees and looked around. My room was painted a cheery yellow which matched the large sunflower my mum had embroidered onto my plain white quilt cover. The sun made the wood of my bedside table and bookshelf glow a deep honey colour and revealed the collages of photos I had put up around the walls. I had worked hard to make the room a safe harbour from the storms raging on outside its four walls and, usually, the upbeat vibe of the room kept my demons at bay. Not this morning though.

  As much as I loved my room I had woken up with only one thought pulsing constantly through my brain. It was not in my happy, sunny room that I wanted to be. Yellow was not the colour I wanted to see on opening my eyes. Instead I longed to see a deep, masculine, navy blue. The exact colour of Jack's room.

  I groaned and banged my head against my knees. It was not good. My stomach was tight, my head was buzzing, my heart was pounding and all because I had dreamt that it wasn't my bed I had gone to the night before, but Jack's. And that was only dreaming. What if I did actually pluck up the courage of Wednesday night again and 'go all the way' with Jack? I'd be a wreck! Hardly conducive, I would imagine, of an unforgettable night of passion.

  Taking several deep breaths I forced the butterflies to recede and gradually began to feel like I had some control over my body. I was just nervous, I told myself firmly. Nothing more. So why was it then that the tingles in my belly had felt nothing like nerves, but more like…excitement?

 

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