So Much to Learn

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So Much to Learn Page 43

by Jessie L. Star


  Chapter 24

  "Micky!" My voice came out as a kind of strangled squeak and my obvious shock and fear seemed to amuse him as his grin spread even wider across his face. It was this evil smirk that made my spine snap straighter and I took a deep breath to swallow my fright before I continued my descent down the stairs until I stood directly in front of him.

  We didn't say anything at first, Micky was presumably just taking pleasure in the moment and I had no idea where to start. Eventually, however, I realised that the longer we stood there the more likely it was that someone would come by so, crossing my arms protectively across my chest, I spoke up.

  "So what are you going to do?"

  "Aw come on Talia," he said silkily, his green eyes sparkling maliciously. "Give me a couple more minutes to enjoy this."

  I struggled with the reactions that warred within me, not knowing whether I should slap or try and placate him. As it turned out he began to talk again before I had decided on which approach to take.

  "So it seems," Micky smirked pushing himself off the wall and coming towards me, "that as well as being the world's biggest bitch you are also the world's biggest hypocrite, after all your 'my family is perfect', 'nobody should ever do anything to hurt Matt and Jack' bullshit."

  "It isn't bullshit," I snapped, automatically taking a step back from him and then fervently wishing I hadn't as I didn't want to show any more fear in front of him.

  "No?" He said sarcastically. "Have you asked Matt that yet? 'Cos I reckon if he knew you were screwing his best friend he'd probably think all the stuff you say about doing them no wrong is bullshit." He paused, presumably for effect, then added, "He doesn't know, right?"

  "You know he doesn't," I said through clenched teeth.

  "And why would that be…?" He mused out loud, tapping his finger against his chin in a mockery of contemplation. "Oh that's right!" He clicked his fingers as if stumbling across a great discovery. "Because he would’ve killed Jack by now if he knew and, as I saw up there, he's very much alive."

  "What's your point?" I asked desperately, hoping that Micky would get over his little power trip and just tell me whether he was going to tell Matt or not.

  "No point," he answered innocently. "Just making sure I've got the gist of what's been going on. So, you got close while doing all that studying?"

  How is it that he managed to make a word like 'studying' sound so dirty?

  In answer to his question I just muttered, "Yeah, something like that." Because there was no way in hell I was giving him the real reason!

  "Wow, and there was Matt-Man constantly telling us to leave you two alone so you could study, he'd be furious if he knew wouldn't he? I mean there he is trusting you and Jack, protecting the pair of you, basically pretending that the sun shines out of your bloody arses and all that time his best mate is rooting his little sister. What happened to your Virgin Mary impersonation, by the way? Or was that a lie as well? Jesus, Talia, how do you keep track of all the crap you spin people?"

  "I could ask you the same thing!" I exploded, knowing that he was deliberately trying to rile me up, but unable to stop myself rising to the bait. "How dare you go all holier-than-thou on me, you're not exactly Mr Sunshine and Light yourself. What the hell would you know about the truth? You've been lying since the first day I met you. Whatever it is that's going on with you, Sam and Simone obviously affects all of us including Matt, have you told him what's been going on yet? No, you haven't, so don't give me a sermon on lying, thanks very much."

  The words flew out of my mouth and in the silence that followed I realised that I had clearly hit a nerve with my little speech. Micky's face turned purple and he clenched his hands by his sides leading me to wonder for a second there if he was going to hit me, but his abuse, when it came, was solely verbal. He obviously didn't care that the whole building could probably hear him.

  "That's none of your business," he said furiously, clearly apoplectic with rage. "Although, despite that you've managed to screw it up anyway. From the moment you turned up and suddenly everybody had to jump to your bloody bidding things started to go wrong!"

  "So you're suggesting I stole the manhoods of your friends?" I rolled my eyes, honestly could this complaint get any older? The whole 'women with their womanly wiles' thing has terrified men from time immemorial, isn't it about time they got over it? "It's called friendship, something you probably don't know a hell of a lot about. The guys do things for me, I do things for them, it's symbiotic." Sensing a way out of this stupid confrontation and hoping for a hint as to what was going on with my best friend I added, "And if you would just tell me what I'm doing that's making things so crap for you maybe I could stop doing it and you could get off my back!"

  "Nice try," he snarled, "but it doesn't work like that."

  Great, now he was talking in code. Exasperated beyond belief I asked, "What doesn't?"

  "Nothing, forget it." Clearly Micky had talked himself into some kind of hole and I watched fascinated as he fell silent for a moment trying to find some way out of it. Finally he seemed to remember why we were standing there in the corridor in the first place and his famous cocky expression slid back over his face like a mask. "Why am I still even talking to you?" He asked. "I've got to meet the others at the pub and celebrate the good news."

  He made to walk off, but I made a wild lunge at him and managed to catch his arm. "Matt's your friend," I tried desperately, knowing that he could just push my arm off if he felt like it and wanting to get my point across before he did. "Why would you want to do that to him? I will tell him but not at the pub, not in front of everyone, that's not right."

  "Not right?" He asked, raising his eyebrows at my choice of words and making me blush as I remembered that I honestly wasn't in a position to instruct him on right and wrong. "And, anyway, what makes you think I was talking about you and Jack? I was talking about celebrating Jack getting into Cambridge."

  I flushed an even deeper red and removed my hand from his arm realising that for a couple of seconds there I had completely forgotten about that piece of life changing news.

  "Yeah, of course you were," I said sarcastically. There was surely no way in hell that Micky was just going to sit on this, it was too good. "What do you want?" I asked desperately, not thinking that I really had anything to offer him, but knowing I had to try anyway. Unfortunately Micky was shaking his head, that cruel smile back again.

  "Do you really think I would blackmail you with what I know?"

  "Yes," I answered instantly and his smile widened.

  "Yeah, well, maybe I would," he conceded. "So I tell you what, you be a bit nicer to me, a bit more respectful maybe and I'll give you the opportunity to tell Matt yourself. You can't say fairer then that."

  Yes I could, I thought mutinously, I could say a lot fairer then that. Be a bit more respectful? Was he out of his mind? I didn't respect him, I didn't even know if I could fake respecting him but I really was in no position to argue so I nodded reluctantly.

  "There now," he said so patronisingly that I ground my teeth together. "It looks like we can get along after all. I'll just have to be careful that when I see Matt that your big news doesn't accidentally slip out…"

  "Fuck you!" I snarled, showing some more of my renowned maturity. Not.

  "What me as well?" Micky said with an unamused laugh. "Thanks but no thanks, we're not all so desperate that we'd try to prise open your legs. I'm surprised Jack managed it, Brad swore they were welded together."

  I was speechless in the face of his crude remarks and was horrified to find that a lump was forming in my chest as if I was about to cry again. I searched around for something to snarl back at him but my thought process was interrupted by a thin, reedy voice saying, "Leave her alone!"

  Micky and I both froze and then looked over slowly to see Haley standing there in the corridor looking wan and scared.

  Micky recovered faster than me, his eyes calculating as he looked her up and down. "Why the hell w
ould you stick up for her?" He asked, sounding genuinely surprised. And why shouldn't he be? I was basically having a coronary at her appearance and decision to side with me.

  "You're being a bully," said Haley, wringing her hands together nervously and protesting as if being a bully was an unusual state of affairs for Micky. "Natalia and Jack being together is none of your business."

  I closed my eyes briefly in disbelief at her stupidity. Didn't she have the common sense to pretend she hadn't known what he was talking about? Apparently not.

  "Jesus, she knows?" Micky asked me, seemingly annoyed that he wasn't the only one with the knowledge, I suppose it did take a bit of the edge off his power over me. I nodded curtly in reply and he snorted in astonishment and then asked, "Anyone else?"

  Not if you discount my mum I thought, but decided to leave her out of it and shook my head. I didn't really feel like talking anymore.

  "Bloody hell," Micky whistled. "How long have you known?" He asked turning back to Haley and she paled still further as if she'd hoped he'd forgotten she was there. Honestly, if she didn't want to be involved why did she stick her nose in?

  "Doesn't matter," she answered Micky, her voice so quiet it was almost a whisper. "You shouldn't say anything, you should leave them alone."

  Micky looked at her for a long time, his expression calculating before he turned away saying dismissively, "One of these days someone's gonna knock that innocence right out of you."

  Haley's face crumpled like a piece of aluminium foil being screwed up and strange protective feelings that I usually only get around family or close friends welled up inside of me. Without pausing to think of the hypocrisy of my words I said coldly, "Lay off her."

  There was a moment there when I think we all tried to take in the strangeness of the notion of me sticking up for Haley. I reassured myself that it wasn't because I liked her or anything but because she'd gone in to bat for me, tit for tat, right?

  "For God’s sake!" Micky said, throwing his hands up in disbelief. "The world's gone mad! I'm off to the pub, alcohol makes everything simpler." He walked towards the door leading to outside, but just before he opened it I called after him.

  "Remember that you said I could tell Matt."

  Without turning he replied, "So play nice Talia." And then he opened the door and walked out.

  The heavy door slammed with a loud clang leaving just Haley and me standing there awkwardly. After a moment she said quietly, "Are you alright?"

  All my slightly positive, protective feelings about her vanished in one big whoosh. "Oh sod off, Haley," I said crossly, "this is nothing to do with you." Haley looked absolutely crushed and all my instincts screamed for me to apologise, but fear, stubbornness and just plain habit continued their dictatorship over my actions and I muttered, "I've got to go," before throwing open the door and exiting the building.

  Micky must have had his car with him because, as I stepped out into the car park, he was nowhere to be seen, not that I was disappointed, by then I'd seen enough of his ugly mug to see me through a lifetime. I stood for a moment on the bumpy grey asphalt and wondered what I should do. There was no way in hell I was going back up to the flat to face Jack, or go and meet up with the others at the pub, but I couldn't just stay where I was because surely Jack would come down soon.

  Suddenly I realised what I needed to do. I needed a friend, I had to tell someone understanding. There was only one person I wanted to be with at that moment: Simone. I needed Simone to know the truth, maybe she could even suggest ways I could tell Matt. Simmy had more tact and compassion in her little finger than I did in my entire body, she'd know what to do!

  Buoyed with relief at the thought of finally spilling the whole sordid story onto someone sympathetic I hastened towards her parent's city place wishing that I'd thought to grab my car keys as I'd run after Micky. Still, the walk was only going to take me 25 minutes or so and the fresh air was soothing on my red, flushed face and frazzled nerves.

 

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