About that horse ' yes! He looked unhappy after she said it, and she changed the subject as they stepped into the frosty night. Feels like snow.
It does, but it's not very likely. At least I hope not. He looked up at the sky but didn't seem overly concerned. And by then they had already reached the door of the big house, where Sam lived.
Samantha hesitated for a moment and then as she opened the door she stepped aside and looked up at the dark-haired giant with the deep green eyes. Would you like to come in, Tate, for a glass of wine or a cup of coffee? But he was quick to shake his head, almost as though she had suggested something outrageous that he could never accept.
I promise, she said, grinning at him, I won't attack you. I'll sit on another couch. He let out a roar of laughter as she said it, and it was difficult to recognize the man she had been at odds with for more than two weeks.
It's not that, but ranch etiquette, I guess. This is Miss Caroline's house. It wouldn't be appropriate for me to ' it's difficult to explain.'
Samantha smiled at him pleasantly from the doorway. Would you like me to wake her so she can ask you in herself?
He rolled his eyes. Hardly, but thanks for the thought. Another time.
Chicken. She looked like a kid as she stood there, and he laughed.
Because she had done so for the past ten days, Samantha woke up at four thirty the next morning. She forced herself to lie in bed, pretending even to herself to be asleep, and finally, after an hour of lying with her eyes closed and her mind racing, she got out of bed. It was still dark outside and the stars were shining brightly, but she knew that in little over an hour, life on the ranch would begin. Christmas morning or no, the animals would begin stirring, there would be men in the corral tending to the horses, even though no one would be riding the hills.
On bare feet Samantha silently padded to the kitchen, plugged in the electric coffee maker Caroline used, and then sat waiting in the dark kitchen, letting her mind drift back to the night before. It had been a lovely Christmas party she had shared with the others. Like one gigantic family, all of them linked to each other, each one caring about the other, the children familiar with everyone who lived there, happy and shouting and running around the big beautifully decorated Christmas tree. Thinking about the children at the Christmas party the night before suddenly made her think of Charlie and Melinda's children. This was the first Christmas that she hadn't sent them gifts. She remembered her promise to Charlie with a pang, but she had been nowhere near a store. As Samantha sat in the empty kitchen she felt suddenly very lonely, and without warning, her thoughts shifted instantly and very painfully to John. What was his Christmas like this year? How did it feel to be married to a woman who was pregnant? Had they already done the nursery? The pain Samantha felt knife through her was almost beyond bearing, and as though by reflex action she felt herself reach for the phone. Without thinking, yet desperately wanting to reach out and hear a friendly voice, she dialed a familiar number and only a moment later she heard Charlie Peterson answer the phone. His mellifluous voice boomed into the receiver with a resounding rendition of Jingle Bells. He was halfway into the second verse before Sam could squeeze in her name.
Who? ' O'er the fields we go ' '
Shut up, Charlie! It's me, Sam!
Oh ' hi, Sam.' Dashing all the wayyyy' '
Charlie! She was laughing as she listened, between rounds of trying to outshout him, but despite the amusement of listening to him, there was another pang of loneliness and she felt terribly far away. She suddenly wished she were with them, and not three thousand miles away on a ranch. There was no choice but to wait for him to finish singing.
Merry Christmas!
You mean you're through? You're not going to sing Silent Night'?
I wasn't planning to, but if you're making a special request, Sam, I'm sure I could.'
Charlie, please! I want to talk to Mellie and the boys. But first she almost gulped as she said it tell me how things are at the office. She had forced herself not to call. Harvey had practically ordered her not to and she had obeyed. They had her number if they needed her, and her boss had thought it would do her good to forget about them as completely as she could. And actually she had done better than she had expected to. Until now. How are my accounts doing? Have you lost them all yet?
Every one of them. Charlie beamed into the phone with pride and lit a cigar, and then suddenly he frowned and looked at his watch. What in hell are you doing up at this hour? It must be ' what? Not even six o'clock in the morning out there! Where are you? He suddenly wondered if she had abandoned the ranch and returned.
I'm still here. I just couldn't sleep. I've been getting up at four thirty every morning, now I don't know what to do with myself. This feels like the middle of the afternoon. Not quite, but she was certainly wide awake. How are the kids?
Wonderful. There was a moment's hesitation in his voice, and he hurried on to ask her how she was. They riding you ragged out there, I hope?
Absolutely. Come on, Charlie, tell me what's happening back there. Suddenly she wanted to know everything, from the office gossip to who was threatening to steal which account from another house.
Nothing much, kiddo. New York hasn't changed much in the last two weeks. What about you? He sounded serious for a moment and Sam smiled. You happy out there, Sam? You all right?
I'm fine. And then with a small sigh, It was the right thing to do, much as I hate to admit it. I guess I needed something as radical as this. I haven't watched the six o'clock news all week.
That's something at least. If you're up at four thirty, you're probably asleep by six o'clock at night.
Not quite, but close.
And your friend ' Caroline, and ail the horses? They're okay? He sounded so much like a New Yorker that it made her laugh as she pictured him puffing on his cigar and staring into space wearing his pajamas and his bathrobe and maybe something the children had given him for Christmas, like a baseball cap or a mitt or a pair of red-and-yellow-striped socks.
Everyone here is fine. Let me talk to Mellie. She did, and Melinda didn't catch Charlie's signal. She almost instantly told Sam the news. She was pregnant. The baby was due in July, and she had just found out that week. For just a fraction of a second there was a strange silence and then suddenly Sam was full of effusive congratulations as in the distance Charlie closed his eyes and groaned.
Why did you tell her? He was whispering hoarsely at his wife as she attempted to continue to talk to Sam.
Why not? She'll find out when she comes back anyway. Melinda had put her hand over the phone, whispered back to him, then took her hand away and went on. The kids? They all say they want another brother, but if it isn't a girl this time, I quit. Charlie made impatient gestures, let her say a rapid good-bye, and recovered the phone.
How come you didn't tell me, kiddo? Sam tried to sound nonchalant, but as always when she heard that kind of news, especially lately, it touched something very old and sad and still sensitive near her very core. Afraid I couldn't take it? I'm not mentally ill, you know, Charlie, I'm just divorced. That is not the same thing.
Who cares about that stuff anyway. There was something sad and worried in his voice.
You do. Sam's voice was very soft. And Mellie does. And I do. And you're my friends. She was right to tell me. Don't yell at her when you get off the phone.
Why not? He grinned guiltily. She needs to be kept in line.
Some way you have of keeping her in line, Peterson. It's a good thing you're the most overpaid art director in the business. You're going to need it for all those kids.
Yeah, he growled contentedly, ain't I just. And then after a long moment, Well, kid, be good to your horses, and call if you need us. And Sam there was a heavy pause we all think about you a lot, and we miss you. You know that, don't you, babe? She nodded, unable to speak, her voice and her eyes instantly filled with tears.
Yeah, I know. It was all she could finally choke out. And I miss y
ou too. Merry Christmas! And then, as she smiled through her tears and blew him a kiss, she hung up. She sat in the kitchen afterward for almost half an hour, her coffee cold in the cup, her eyes riveted to the table, her heart and her mind three thousand miles away in New York. And when she looked up again, she saw that outside the day was slowly breaking, the night had faded from deep blue to pale gray, and she stood up and slowly walked with her cup over to the sink. She stood very still and knew exactly what she wanted to do. With a determined step she walked down the hall, slipped quietly into her clothes, and bundled herself up in two warm sweaters and a jacket, put on the cowboy hat Caroline had lent her a few days before, and with a last look over her shoulder to make sure that no one was stirring, she walked quietly out of her room, down the hall, and out the front door, closing it softly behind her.
It took her only a few moments to reach the stables, and when she did, she stopped a few feet away from his stall. There was no sound stirring within, and she wondered if he was still sleeping, the giant shining ebony animal she suddenly knew that she wanted to ride. She gently opened the half door and stepped inside, running a hand smoothly down his neck and his flanks and speaking so gently that she almost cooed. He was awake, but he wasn't restless. Black Beauty looked as though he had been waiting for her to come; he gazed meaningfully at her from behind the bristling black lashes, and Samantha smiled at him as she quietly let herself out of the stall, went to get his saddle and bridle, and returned to prepare him for their ride. There had been no one in the stable to see her when she got there, and there was still no one there now.
When she led him slowly out the main door a few minutes later into the early morning, there was no one in the vast yard outside. She walked Black Beauty to a nearby block and quickly climbed it. After hoisting herself into the saddle with ease and pulling the reins taut, she moved away toward the now familiar hills. She knew exactly where she wanted to ride him, she had seen a trail through some woods a few days before and now she knew that this was where she wanted to go. At first she cantered gently toward her destination, and then after a while, sensing the huge beast straining to go faster, she let him lope from a canter into a gallop as he made his way toward the rising sun. It was one of the most exquisite feelings she could remember, and she held her knees to his flanks and pressed harder as effortlessly they cleared a series of low bushes and then a narrow stream. She remembered the first time she had jumped him but knew that this was different. She was taking no chances with Black Beauty this morning, but she wasn't angry either. She only wanted to become a part of Black Beauty's very body and soul. She felt like an ancient myth, or Indian legend, as she let him slow on the crest of a hill, and she watched the sun begin in earnest its climb into the sky. It was only then that she heard the hooves behind her, then that she knew she'd been followed, and then that she turned in surprise. But when she saw him riding the ivory and onyx pinto toward her, she wasn't really surprised to see Tate Jordan. It was as though he were also a part of the legend, as though he also belonged there, as though he too had fallen from the fiery golden morning sky.
He rode toward her in a straight line, with the pinto at a full gallop, making his way toward her with almost fierce determination, and then at the last moment he swerved to fall in right at her side. She eyed him carefully for an instant, not sure of what she'd see there, afraid that once again he'd be angry, that he'd spoil the moment, and that the friendship that had been conceived only the night before would already die. But what she saw instead in those deep green eyes that looked at her so fiercely was not anger this time, but something much gentler. He said nothing to her, he only watched her, and then nodded and led the pinto on. It was clear that he wanted her to follow him, and she did, with Black Beauty moving effortlessly down the trails that he sought out, over hills, and into little valleys, until at last they were on a part of the property she had never seen. There was a small lake there, and a little cabin, and as they came over the last hill and saw it Tate and the steaming pinto slowed. He turned then to smile at her in the early morning, and Samantha returned the smile as she watched him rein in his horse and dismount.
Are we still on the ranch?
Yes. He looked up at her. Over past that clearing is where it ends. The clearing was just behind the cabin.
Samantha nodded. Whose is that? She indicated the cabin, wondering if there was anyone there.
Tate didn't give her a direct answer. I found it a long time ago. I come here now and then, not often, but when I want to be alone. It's all locked up, and no one knows I come out here. It was a bid for secrecy and Samantha understood.
Do you have the keys?
More or less. The handsome leathered face broke into a grin. There's a key on Bill King's ring that fits it. I helped myself to it once.
And made a copy? Samantha looked shocked, but he nodded his head. Above all else Tate Jordan was an honest man. If Bill King had asked him, he would have told him. But Bill never had, and Tate figured he wouldn't care. Above all he didn't want to draw attention to the forgotten cabin. It meant a lot to him.
I keep some coffee in there, if it hasn't gone stale. Want to get down for a bit and step inside? He didn't tell her that he kept a bottle of whiskey there too. Nothing with which to commit excesses, but something to keep him warm and soothe his mind. He came here sometimes when he was worried, or if something was bothering him and he needed to be alone for a day. Many was the Sunday he had spent at this cabin, and he had his own ideas as to what kind of purpose it had once served. Well, Miss Taylor? Tate Jordan watched her for a long moment and she nodded.
I'd like that. The lure of coffee appealed to her, this morning it was unusually cold. He gave her a hand down and helped her tie up the handsome horse, and then he led the way toward the door of the cabin, extracted his copy of the key, opened the door, and stepped aside to let her in. Like the rest of the cowboys on the ranch, he was always gallant. It was like a last touch of the Old West, and she looked up and smiled at him as she walked slowly in.
There was a dry, musty smell in the cabin, but as she looked around her her eyes widened instantly in surprise. The large airy single room was decorated in pretty flowered chintzes, they were somewhat old-fashioned, but still very handsome and very appealing. There was a little couch, two thickly cushioned wicker chairs, and in a corner by the fire was a huge handsome leather chair that Samantha knew instantly was an antique. There was a small writing desk in a corner, there was a radio, a small record player, there were several shelves of books, a large friendly fireplace, and a number of funny objects that must have meant something to the person who owned the cabin: two large handsome trophies, a boar's head, a collection of old bottles, some funny old photographs in ornate old-fashioned frames. There was a thick bear rug spread out in front of the hearth and a delicate antique rocking chair with a needlepoint footstool standing nearby. It was like a haven in a fairy tale, hidden deep in the forest, the kind of place one would want to come to hide from the rest of the world. And then through an open doorway Sam saw a small pretty little blue room with a large handsome brass bed and a beautiful quilt, soft-blue walls, another impressive bear rug, and a little brass lamp with a small shade. The curtains were blue and white and very frilly, and there was a large handsome landscape of another part of the ranch hanging over the bed. It was a room where one would want to spend the rest of one's life.
Tate, whose is this? Samantha looked vaguely puzzled, and Tate only pointed to one of the trophies perched on a little shelf on the near wall.
Take a look.
She moved closer and her eyes widened as she looked at the trophy and then Tate and then back again. It bore the legend WIIXIAM B. KING 1934. The second one was Bill King's too, but dated 1939- And then Sam looked over her shoulder again at Tate, this time with fresh concern.
Is this his cabin, Tate? Should we be here?
I don't know the answer to the first question, Sam. And to the second, probably not. But once I fo
und this place, I could never stay away. His voice was deep and smoky as his eyes reached out for Sam's.
She looked around silently and nodded again. I can see why.
As Tate moved quietly toward the kitchen she began to look at the old photographs, and although she thought there was something familiar about them, she was never really sure. And then, feeling almost embarrassed, she drifted into the bedroom, her eye caught by the large landscape over the bed. As she reached it and could easily read the signature, suddenly she stopped. The artist had signed her name in red in the lower right-hand corner. C. Lord. Sam turned around then and was about to flee the tiny bedroom, but the room was blocked by Tate's vast frame in the doorway. He was holding out a cup of steaming instant coffee and watching her face.
It's theirs, isn't it? Here was the answer to her question, the question she and Barbara had mused over so often, and laughed about, and giggled over. Finally, in this tiny cozy blue room with the patchwork quilt and the huge brass bed that almost filled the room, she knew. Isn't it, Tate? Suddenly Sam wanted confirmation, from him if no one else. He nodded slowly and handed her the bright yellow cup.
I think so. It's a nice place, isn't it? Somehow, all put together it's just like them.
Does anyone else know? She felt as though she had uncovered a holy secret and had a responsibility to both of them to know if it was secure.
About them? He shook his head. At least no one's ever been sure. But they've been awfully careful. Neither of them ever gives it away. When he's with the men he talks about Miss Caroline' just like the rest of us, even calls her that most of the time to her face. He treats her with respect, but no particularly marked interest, and she does the same with him.
Why? Samantha looked puzzled as she sipped her coffee and then set down the cup and sat on the edge of the bed. Why didn't they just let people know years ago and get married if that was what they wanted?
Maybe they didn't want that. Tate looked as though he understood it, and as she looked up at his weathered face, it was clear that Sam did not. Bill King's a proud man. He wouldn't want it said that he married Miss Caro for her money, or for her ranch or her cattle.
Palomino (1981) Page 11
