by Emerson Rose
Something I’ve never seen ripples through his eyes… panic. I cup his cheek and place one gentle kiss on his lips. “Shush… it’s alright, just for a second, I promise.”
When I move to sit his eyes shift to the doctor and relief replaces the panic. Brian. He thought the physician would be Brian.
He doesn’t need to speak for me to know what he’s thinking anymore. He loosens his grip, but he won’t let go.
I glance back at my family. Elena sniffs and dabs her eyes with a tissue. Enrique has his arm around her shoulders beaming a broad, genuine smile that touches his eyes. Elijah is leaning with his back against the wall, his arms are crossed over his chest and his face is expressionless.
I don’t have time to figure out what he’s thinking when Marcus tightens his grip.
The doctor runs through several steps of a neurological exam, speaking to Marcus in Italian. When he’s done he switches to English with a thick Italian accent.
“Everything seems fine, Mr. Castillo. Are you able to speak yet?”
There is a long pause before he answers, “Yes.”
“Are you in pain?”
“Yes.”
Has he been suffering all this time? I hate the thought of him fighting in the dark in pain unable to communicate. I’m so fucking glad he’s awake.
“We can give you a higher dose of medication for the pain,” the doctor says.
Marcus has been doing well with one-word answers until now. He pauses for a few moments before finally answering no.
“Marcus, you don’t need to be in pain, please, let them help you,” I beg.
“No.”
“Mr. Castillo, if I may… we can wait a little while but if your blood pressure goes up I’ll have to insist. You are progressing extremely well, and I don’t want there to be any increased pressure on your brain.
“Yes, I understand, Doctor… I didn’t get your name.”
“Lorenzo. I’m sorry I haven’t properly introduced myself.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Doctor Lorenzo. I’m worried about him being in pain. Isn’t allowing his pain to get out of control a risk?”
“Yes, I don’t expect him to let it go that far, however. You will tell the nurse when you need more pain medication, won’t you, Mr. Castillo?”
I interrupt before he can answer.
“No, no, he won’t tell you. He’s stubborn and proud, and he will let it go until it’s unbearable.” Marcus is crushing my hand and I look at him with warning in my eyes.
“Don’t.” He pushes the word out with great effort.
“No, Marcus, I know you and you’ll wait too long. Let them up your dose until tomorrow at least… please.” Doctor Lorenzo is looking at me like an escapee from an insane asylum. I’m sure he’s shocked that I am arguing with the infamous Mafia leader Marcus Castillo.
Marcus closes his eyes and squeezes them tight.
“Okay.”
I sigh in relief, thank God. He won’t open his eyes now, this conversation is over and closing his eyes is how he has chosen to communicate that.
“Thank you, Doctor Lorenzo. Will we see you in the morning?”
The doctor is still staring at Marcus when he blinks and quickly shakes off the shock.
“Yes, I’m sleeping here tonight and I will return for rounds at seven.” I reach across the bed and shake his hand giving him a polite smile before he exits.
Marcus’s eyes remain closed, but his grip is tight. I watch Doctor Lorenzo leave and frown when I see Elijah. If I didn’t know better I’d think he was upset. His expression changes in a hurry when he catches my eye.
He quietly comes to stand next to me, placing his hand on the small of my back. Marcus’s eyes snap open as soon as Elijah’s hand makes contact with my body. His expression is menacing. He can’t even see Elijah’s hand on me, but he knows it’s there.
Affectionate gestures between Elijah and I have become so natural that it takes me a moment to figure out what is going on. Unlike me, Elijah realizes his lapse in judgment immediately and removes his hand right away.
This isn’t good. Elijah has become my best friend, second only to my husband. Marcus has no reason to be jealous. I have to figure out a way to fix this, but now isn’t the time.
“It’s good to see you awake, sir,” Elijah says.
It’s weird to hear him address him so formally. It’s true that Elijah is his employee. But he’s also the closest thing to a friend that Marcus has other than me and he needs friends, whether he wants them or not. Elena and Enrique have joined us on the other side of the bed. She takes his hand and clasps it between hers.
“Hey, brother, you finally decided to join your party. It’s good to see those eyes again, I’m glad you’re back.” His lips twitch with a ghost of a smile and he shifts his eyes back to me. I know what he needs before he can get the word out but I let him exercise his voice.
“Sleep,” he says. He is exhausted. This small amount of interaction is more than he’s had in days. Baby steps, we have to take baby steps.
“Yes, of course. Close your eyes, rest, I’ll be here when you wake up again I promise.” He pleads for reassurance with his sharp green eyes. I wasn’t there for him today and my heart aches with regret.
“Really, I won’t go anywhere. I only stepped away for five minutes in three days. Did you wait for me to leave just so you could make me feel guilty? Because if you did it’s working.”
“You go, I go,” he says working the words from his jumbled supply. I blink back tears and lay my head back down on his chest. With his heart beating under my cheek I thank God over and over for giving me my life back.
Hours later, after falling asleep sitting sideways on the bed with my chest against his rock-hard abdomen, I wake with my hair unbraided and fanned over my body like a blanket.
His breathing is soft and regular and my body rises and falls with every breath he takes. I should move, my side is burning and my left ass cheek is numb. Actually the entire left side of my body is numb. When I try to move his arms wind around my back.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you, but I can’t feel my leg, baby. I have to move.” He drops his arms to the mattress releasing me. When I sit up I get a face full of crazy curls.
“What have you been doing here?” I ask scooping it away from my face. I feel around for my hair tie and wrap the mess back up into a knot at the nape of my neck.
He gives me a tiny shoulder shrug and his trademark smirk. He’s killing me. It’s not quite New Years and it’s only been three days since we had sex right here in this bed but my body craves him like a drug.
As the blood returns to my deadened side, I look thoughtfully at him, switching my gaze from his eyes to the scar on his head and then settling on his lips before I close my eyes. He reaches up and drags his palm down over my face gently brushing my eyelids with the tips of his fingers and around the side of my neck ending with his hand on my chest.
With my eyes still closed I relax under the power of his touch. Our connection is stronger than it’s ever been before. My heart flutters under his hand at first and then it levels off to a steady beat as the minutes go by, like our relationship.
We started out with the intense drama of his accident, our rocky past’s, and his brain tumor. We’ve been on this wild ride long enough, I’m ready to get off and live happily ever after.
Everyone has gone home now. I wish we could go home, too.
“When can we go home?” he asks. I drag my eyes open not surprised anymore by his ability to know exactly what I’m thinking.
“Soon I hope. How’s your pain?” I glance up at the monitor that takes his blood pressure frequently. It’s perfect.
“Fine.” I wouldn’t expect him to answer any other way. His body will be the only indicator that he’s hurting. He’ll never admit it, I don’t know why I bother asking.
Yes, I do know why. I do it so he knows I’m worried, he hates when I worry. Maybe he will take some damn pai
n meds so I won’t have to. I purse my lips together and look at him with skepticism.
“Really, I’m fine.”
“You sound better. It seems like you’re having an easier time speaking.”
“Yes, a little.” I lean to kiss his full mouth softly, and he surprises me by nipping at my lip while I’m there.
“Hey, you, you’re not supposed to be frisky.” I giggle and he smiles, a real smile this time, no holding back. He flashes me his perfectly straight, bright white teeth and it makes me wonder. “Did you have braces, or are your teeth naturally that straight?” I ask.
He snorts softly “These are all mine, baby.” He grins again this time with purpose, showing me even more of his teeth. “Why do you ask?”
“I don’t know, just wondering I guess.”
“Would you still love me if they were fake?” Wow that’s the most he’s said since waking up. What a funny topic for one of our first full conversations. I roll my eyes.
“Would you still love me if I had fake teeth?” I counter, and he screws up his face in mock horror putting his pointer finger in my mouth pulling it open to investigate.
“You have fake teeth?” He asks.
“Of course not!” I bat his hand away.
“You never answered me.”
“I would love you even if you had no teeth, Mr. Castillo.”
“Good to know.”
I have regained all feeling in my leg now, and I need to use the bathroom. “I have to pee.”
“You sure?”
I smile again. “Yeah, pretty sure.”
“Hurry,” he says and I scoot away. When I’m walking away I look back at him over my shoulder and add a little extra swing to my hips. He moans. Ha! He feels it, too. ‘Good to know, Mr. Castillo,’ I think to myself. Good to know.
Eighty-Five
It’s been two days since Marcus woke up and he’s made impressive progress. Even Doctor Lorenzo is stunned when he rounds. Marcus is out of bed in a reclining chair using my iPad.
He wanted to work and he came pretty close to begging me for his laptop asking repeatedly and annoyingly until I proposed a compromise and handed over the iPad. I’m pretty sure he’s accessed his email and made contact with business associates.
As long as he’s doing so well, I don’t see any harm in him dipping his toe back into business, and who’s going to stop him anyway?
“Ah, Mr. Castillo, you’re looking well. You’ve made remarkable progress.” Doctor Lorenzo gushes in his heavy Italian accent.
“I’m going home.”
Ah, fucking hell. I knew this was inevitable. I’m actually surprised he waited this long, which shows me the extent of his dependence on others. Anything less than a coma and brain surgery wouldn’t have held him here this long.
“Marcus, just a few more days, come on, seriously you need to be monitored closely,” I say looking at Doctor Lorenzo for backup.
“Actually, I believe it would be OK. Your husband has assured me he has adequate staff and emergency equipment at home to enable him the freedom of leaving. As long as he takes it easy I’m alright discharging him as early as tomorrow.”
I see what’s going on here and I don’t like it one bit. Doctor Lorenzo wants Marcus out of his hospital just as much as Marcus wants to be gone. They’ve discussed it without me and it’s a done deal.
“See, baby? Nothing to worry about, the doctor here says it’s OK.”
“Yeah, right.”
If I know Marcus, he paid for discharge orders, or… no, he wouldn’t threaten him would he? That’s something the old heartless Marcus would do and from what I can tell he got boxed up with a nasty tumor and sent to pathology weeks ago.
“You don’t believe him?” Marcus’s voice drips with fake surprise.
“No, I don’t.” I’m standing my ground with these two powerful men. I cross my arms across my chest and Marcus motions for me to come closer to him.
“No. You’re not going to hypnotize me,” I say, pointing at him. “And you're not going to be manipulated by this man.” I swing my finger toward Doctor Lorenzo. Marcus crosses his arms over his chest and covers his mouth with his hand to hide his smile. My fucking blood boils.
“You do understand that you’re still responsible for him when he’s discharged. He could go home and exert himself and end up back in here or worse.” I glare at him and pray to God he’s getting my point. “You know who he is, don’t you?”
“Now, Imani, that’s enough,” Marcus snaps. He’s not laughing now. He’s dead serious, and so am I.
I look back and forth between the doctor and Marcus. Lorenzo is far more distressed now, good. How can he even think of discharging him three days after major brain surgery? It’s absurd.
“Sir, if your wife would be more comfortable having you monitored another day or two…”
“No, she’s fine, I’ll be in good hands when I leave, she knows that.”
He’s maddening! And this stupid doctor is falling for his shit, just like everybody else. I stomp from the room and find myself mindlessly walking toward Brian’s room. I stop at his door and find an empty bed and a freshly cleaned room ready for the next patient.
Goosebumps rise on my skin, and suddenly I feel like I’m being watched again. It’s been a while since I’ve had this sensation. I chalked it up to residual from living under a microscope for so long but now I’m not so sure.
Without moving I scan the area looking for anything out of the ordinary but there is no one around but familiar nurses and a couple of visitors.
This isn’t my imagination. I’m sure of it, as sure as the hairs standing up on the back of my neck. We have to be careful, especially here in Italy where countless people have a vendetta against my husband.
It’s not just Marcus, either. I will forever be checking over my shoulder for the man who has kept me paralyzed with fear for ten long years, the attacker who got away.
“Stai bene?” I whirl around and take a defensive stance with my hands out to ward off an attack.
“Oh!” she yells jumping back.
“Oh my gosh, I’m sorry.” I back away and drop my hands. Shit, what’s the matter with me? My nerves are frazzled.
I make my way back to Marcus’s room where he is sitting alone staring at the TV screen without interest.
“Hey,” I say softly not wanting to startle him from his thoughts. He looks at me without moving his head.
“I’m, damn it, I’m sorry, Imani. I’ll stay as long as you want if it makes you feel better. I know you’ve been to hell and back with this surgery. I still can’t believe you let that psycho cut open my head.”
His face is full of concern but I’m still stuck back where he said I’m sorry. This is new territory for me. I know the bossy stubborn Marcus. This thoughtful, polite, considerate Marcus will take some getting used to.
“I’m a difficult man, Imani. And I know you deserve much better.”
“Marcus…”
“But by some fluke of the universe, you are mine, and I’m selfish enough to keep you. You own me, Imani. You will always have the final word in our arguments because I owe you everything. If you want me to stay, I’ll stay.”
I’m taken aback by the love and tenderness of his words, but that tingly creepy feeling I had in the hall has alarms going off in my head.
“No, we’re going home today, right now.”
“What?” he asks, narrowing his eyes.
I’m all over the place today, but that feeling has me nervous and on edge. So much so that I’m willing to risk Marcus’s health to get out of here. I start grabbing things from the room and shoving them into a duffle bag.
“Stop.” He says but I don’t stop, I’m focused on one thing and one thing only, leaving. I stuff my clothes into my bag.
“Stop!” he yells snapping me from my state of panic.
“What?” I stand up and huff out a frustrated breath.
“What? Really? You have gone from insisting that I
stay in the hospital to jamming things in bags to take me home. What the hell is going on with you?”
I don’t know. I can’t explain it myself how am I supposed to make him understand?
“Imani?”
I turn around and sit on the edge of my cot next to my bag. I smooth the loose hair from my face and try to find the words to explain why I’ve completely changed my mind.
“I don’t know. I just feel…”
“Watched?” I snap my eyes to his.
“How did you know that?”
“Because I feel it, too.”
“You do? Since when?”
“I’m always being watched by my security team, but this is different. I started sensing it after my surgery.”
“You have? Why didn’t you say anything?”
“You’re dealing with enough, baby. I’m handling it. I doubled our security. Whoever it is won’t get any further than watching us, trust me.”
I roll my eyes and go back to work packing. “I trust you, Marcus, absolutely and exhaustively but it’s not you I’m worried about. Someone is out there spying on us and I’m not taking any chances with you. We’ve been given a second chance, nobody’s taking that away from us. Nobody.” The pitch of my voice rises with every word and I feel like I’m bordering on hysteria.
“Oh, my love, come here.” I tilt my head back and look up at the ceiling while I count to ten and blink back threatening tears that I refuse to cry. When I’ve collected myself, I go to him.
He takes my hand and gently pulls me to my knees between his legs. Cradling my face in his hands he strokes my cheeks with his thumbs and looks at me with adoration.
“My brave, strong lady, you have to stop. I’m back now, you’ve done your part. We are together and growing stronger every day all thanks to you. It’s time to let me worry about our future. I hate to see you upset. My sole purpose in life is to make you happy, carefree, and full of life. Don’t let the unknown unravel what we have so carefully sewn together. We faced death head on, battled one catastrophe after another together. After all we have been through, there is one thing I know for sure. We are survivors, so calm your heart.” He places his hand on my chest over my wildly beating heart. “And empty your mind of our past fears, we are here. We made it. Life for us starts now. You’re right about one thing, though, we have been given a second chance. God knows I don’t deserve it, but I’m taking full advantage of it. I will not fuck this up. I won’t fail you, Imani.”
