by Emerson Rose
I focus on the light fixture in the ceiling while Doctor Morris squirts warm gel over my cramping belly. It’s so flat, how could I be three months pregnant? I can usually tell if I’ve gained weight. Wouldn’t my clothes be uncomfortable if I’d put on a few pounds. When she presses the probe against my skin, I suck in a small quick breath and wait while she pushes and tilts it around looking inside my body.
Marcus is staring at the screen, squinting as he tries to figure out what he’s seeing. I can’t bring myself to look so I focus on him and his reaction instead. His eyes lower to meet mine after a minute or so in the darkened room. Even in the dim light of the ultrasound screen I see a spark behind his bright greens, one I wasn’t expecting.
“Don’t you want to see?”
“I’m scared, I can’t.”
“You want to, baby, believe me, you need to look.” I was expecting devastation and disappointment, but his expression is closer to shock and awe. He looks back at the screen and then to me tilting his chin toward it encouraging me to look.
I slowly loll my head toward the doctor. I’m no sonographer, but I can make out the light colored circle of my uterus and the two black circles.
Two.
She moves the probe and a baby appears out of nowhere and then with a tilt there is another. Oh my God!
“Am I seeing what I think I’m seeing?” I ask, and Doctor Morris flashes me a megawatt smile.
“Mr. and Mrs. Castillo, you are not only pregnant, but you’re going to have twins. Do they run in either of your families?”
“Yes, Marcus has a twin sister.” H releases my hand and I hear a chair scrape across the floor being brought closer to my side. He sits heavily and places his elbows on his knees covering his face with his hands.
“Are they OK? Are they going to be OK? Why am I bleeding so much?” I fire one question after another not giving her a chance to answer.
“Yes, they look fine. It’s hard to say much more than that at this gestation. It looks like you’re about ten weeks along. A placenta previa is causing the bleeding. The placenta covers your cervix and having intercourse probably caused the bleed. It’s nobody’s fault, you wouldn’t have known that until your first ultrasound. Congratulations, I’m glad things are OK.”
Twins. I can’t believe this. “I had a lot of reconstructive surgery after my attack. Is that going to cause problems?”
“I would suggest you see a specialist. You’re very high risk due to this condition and having twins. You might have to have a cesarean section if the previa doesn’t resolve or if the babies aren’t head down later in pregnancy. I’ll refer you to a Perinatologist.”
“Mr. Castillo, are you alright?” I turn on my side to face him and reach through the bars for his hand. He is trembling and his shoulders are shaking… he’s crying.
“Oh, Marcus, please come here. It’s OK, she said everything is OK.” I pull at his wrist, but he doesn’t budge.
“I’ll give you two a moment,” Doctor Morris says quietly before exiting the room.
“Please, look at me.” I’m going to crawl out the end of this gurney if he doesn’t.
“Marcus.”
He reaches out one hand blindly taking my hand, shielding his eyes with his other. He sniffs but he can’t speak between his sobs.
I’ve seen him cry once, in Italy when I forced him to listen to the story of my attack. Those were silent tears of pity and sadness over what I endured, nothing like this. I can’t get to him, and he can’t talk to me, but he’s holding my hand. That will have to be enough for now.
I wait him out grateful for the distraction. I’m going to have to compartmentalize my feelings on the matters at hand and take them one at a time.
There are two people that are growing inside of me, but the most important person is right in front of me and he needs something. I don’t know what, but I’m here for him.
All of my anger and resentment, even the disappointment I was feeling about his doubts are gone in the wake of this news.
After a while, he stops crying and I hand him a tissue from a box next to me in the bed. He takes it and blows his nose gently. He’s not supposed to blow his nose at all for a while after brain surgery.
“This is unreal,” he says, his voice cracking.
“I know. How did this happen? I mean I know how. But how?”
“A miracle, another one that I don’t deserve. Two more actually.” My heart constricts and aches for him.
“You deserve a family as much as anyone, maybe even more. Life dealt you a shitty ass hand and you did the best you could with it, and now you’ve been given a second chance. I say go for it.” He meets my gaze with his bloodshot eyes.
“I wish I couldn’t remember anything from my past. Then it would feel like a second chance. As it is, I’m just a lucky bastard who got away with murder, literally, for the first half of his life. Now I’m being teased with a life of perfection but I know as soon as I let my guard down it will all be snatched away as punishment for my sins.”
“Well, you can think that way if you want to, but I know better. You’re a beautiful man, inside and out. The man who deserved to be punished is long gone. He’s decaying somewhere in the tumor they removed from your brain.” I reach out and trail my fingers from the tip of his scar to his temple and down to cup his cheek in my palm.
“You are much too good for me.”
“I am just good enough for you.” He stands and leans over the rail to hug me. I feel the dampness of his cheek against my neck and I link my arms under his holding him tight.
“I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. I’m sorry I said that,” I murmur against his shoulder.
“I never really believed you were with Elijah. It was a fleeting thought in a moment of shock. I know you would never be unfaithful to me.”
My uniquely intuitive man says exactly what I need to hear at the exact right moment. I squeeze him as tight as I can, forcing him to grunt and chuckle.
“I think my children are giving their mother super powers.” This roller coaster we are on continues and I giggle.
“This day has been insane. We flew across the world and had mind-blowing sex in the hangar of an airport. We rush to the hospital because I’m hemorrhaging and I find out I’m pregnant with not one but two babies. I fucking love you, Mr. Marcus Dante Castillo.”
“I fucking love you too, lady.”
Ninety-Eight
Doctor Morris pokes her head inside the door to check on us a while later.
“Everything OK?”
“Yes, we’re still in shock but I feel much better.” She steps inside the door and looks back and forth between Marcus and me. She’s surprised by his blatant show of emotion. I think she really believed he was the one abusing me.
She clears her throat and stuffs her hands into the pockets of her white lab coat. “Well, that’s good news then. I believe the IV fluids have helped but I think you should spend the night and make sure nothing starts up again. If things look good in the morning, we can talk about letting you go home.”
“No,” I say with more force than I intended. Marcus looks surprised and Doctor Morris changes her demeanor from relaxed to alert. She stands up taller anticipating an argument.
He shifts in his chair and begins to speak in a calm cautious tone. “Imani, are you sure? It’s just one night. I will stay with you, of course.”
I shake my head vigorously. “I just traveled halfway around the world. I’ve been out of the country for months. I am going home.”
Doctor Morris tries to speak but I cut her off. “Before you say anything else, I’m a nurse and we can have a physician living in the house. I swear on all things holy I will stay in bed until you give me the green light. Hell, I’ll even let you carry me to the bathroom if you want to, Marcus, but I need to go home.”
A pang of guilt strikes when I think that it’s not just about me anymore. I have two tiny babies at risk here and as a mother they should come firs
t, but I feel irrationally strong about this. Maybe it’s the hormones, but I need to get back to familiar surroundings, and I need to do it now.
The two of them exchange glances and he shrugs, slapping his hands on his thighs. “I can’t argue with that.”
“You can’t?” I’m surprised he’s agreeing with me.
“You know I despise hospitals, and we have spent more time in them than out, so yes, I agree. We can take care of you at home.”
Doctor Morris has been silently taking us in and now she’s smiling and shaking her head.
“You two are something else. It isn’t every day I have a patient with a live-in physician and a husband who’s willing to move heaven and earth to please his wife.”
“Well, we are pretty unique,” I say agreeing with her one hundred percent. I glance at my gorgeous, crazy, maniac, complex husband and he nods his head.
“Will the babies be OK if we go home tonight and she stays completely off her feet?”
“Yes, I think so. Have you had anymore bleeding since you arrived?”
“No.”
“Alright then, if you have any more or cramping you need to come back to the hospital, agreed?”
“Absolutely yes, of course.”
“I’ll refer you to a specialist, and you can be out of here in a few minutes. Mr. Castillo, there are towels in the cupboard if you would like to clean up a little. And before I let you go, I want to make sure that you understand that you can not have sex until this Previa resolves or you deliver.”
“Thank you. And yes, it goes without saying, no intercourse, understood.”
He isn’t going to lay a finger on me for the next twenty-five weeks. That’s a long fucking, or I should say non-fucking, time. I nearly exploded with need for him tonight and now I have to close down shop for twenty-five whole weeks.
Doctor Morris turns to leave and I see a fleeting bit of longing in her eyes. I’ve seen it before. She’s been exposed.
Any woman can see that he is a work of art physically, but add that to the love and devotion he openly shows for me and he’s irresistible. He turns heads and melts hearts all over the place.
“I’m going to get cleaned up and let Mr. Black know that we are going home. He’s out having the car cleaned.”
I groan, “That’s a gross job. I feel bad that he has to clean up all that blood.” He is standing at the sink, scrubbing his hands and arms.
“He’s used to it.” The words slip from his lips, and he freezes instantly, realizing his mistake. The water runs quietly over his forearms and the muscles in his back tense and flex through his shirt.
It takes me a second to catch up. Black has always been a part of his life. He would have been there for Marcus’s Mafia days.
“I’m sorry, Imani. I didn’t mean to…”
“It’s OK.” I don’t know what else to say, it’s not OK. Nothing about his former life is OK, and unfortunately he’s stuck with those haunting memories and their effects forever.
I watch him work until he gives up on his ruined shirt. He strips it off over his head blessing me with the sight of his flexing lean back muscles. He’s beautiful. Our children are going to be beautiful. Our children. This is so surreal, how did we get here?
“Do you need any help?” he asks drawing me from my thoughts.
“Huh?”
Turning around he renders me speechless while he dries the drops of water that are sliding down his muscled torso and rippling abs.
He is going to have to wear sloppy sweats for the next few months, or I’m going to lose my mind.
“Washing? Did they get all of the blood off of you?” I tear my eyes away from him and lift the sheet to see that, yes indeed, they got me pretty clean.
“Yeah, I’m good,” I say with a deep sigh.
“What’s wrong? You’re not bleeding, are you?”
“No, no. I’m fine,” I lie and skim my eyes over his shirtless body biting my lip.
He follows my gaze down at his chest and back to me.
“This is going to be a problem, isn’t it?” he asks.
I flop back against the pillow and close my eyes.
“No. It’s for the babies, but you don’t have to be so fucking gorgeous, you know.”
He chuckles, “I’m sure we can find creative ways around the rules. It’s not going to be easy for me either, you know. You’ve always been irresistible to me.”
“Yeah, but you’re not going to get as fat as a house like I am. I think you have it easier.” I’m whining and I hate it.
“You will be the most beautiful pregnant woman who ever lived, baby. Do you know how I know that?”
“No, how?”
“Because you are the most beautiful woman in the world, and you are carrying two miracles inside of you. This shouldn’t have been possible but it’s happening. I don’t care if you’re fat, that just means more for me to love.”
I snort, “Yeah, you say that now.”
“And I will say that in five months, twenty months, five years, fifty years, because you will always be my beautiful Imani.” And there he goes with the perfect timing. Just another of the million reasons I love this man so much.
There’s a knock at the door, and Marcus goes to open it a crack. A few words are murmured, and clothes are passed through the small opening. “Black brought us clothes from our suitcases in the car.”
“How are the kittens? They were freaking out.”
“Yes, he has them all quieted down.”
“Quieted down, how?” Black and I are getting along better these days, but I’m not sure how much I trust him with animals. I wouldn’t put it past him to drug them up.
“He didn’t hurt them, Imani. For God’s sake, he’s not evil. He just let them out of their kennels to run around the car for a bit after he cleaned it up.”
Marcus reaches inside my bed and presses the nurse call button.
“They should have had us out of here by now,” he says, complaining.
“It’s only been a few minutes.”
“I’ve got some pull around here. They were supposed to be right in with your discharge papers.”
“Oh my gosh, keep your pants on, mister. Experience life as a commoner.”
“Commoner? I think not.” He looks so adorably disgusted I can’t help laughing. “You stop making fun of me, lady. I’m not allowed to fuck you but nobody said anything about spanking.” My jaw drops. His use of profanity outside the bedroom always surprises me.
“Promises, promises,” I can’t help but goading him. He rolls his eyes, and the nurse enters as if on cue.
After receiving a laundry list of things I can’t do for the next few days, I’m loaded into a wheelchair and pushed to the curb where Marcus lifts me into the freshly cleaned Escalade. He buckles my seatbelt like I’m a two-year-old but I let him do his overbearing protective thing with no complaints. It’s his way, and I love his ways.
When we pull up in the circle drive at home I am excited and energized. It feels so amazing to be here. It’s been a long time since we lived under the roof of this house together.
He gathers me into his arms not allowing my feet to touch the ground and carries me inside through the foyer, past the grotesque fireplace in the living room and through the double doors of our bedroom.
“Bath first or bed?”
“Bath.”
“I’ll run the water.” He lays me down and I curl up on my side in our huge bed. I watch him disappear into the hall to the bedroom next to ours where there is a tub. I reach down and touch my tummy trying to imagine that two tiny people are growing there. I saw the ultrasound. I even have pictures in my purse to prove it, but it’s still unbelievable.
“Mrs. Castillo?” Black stands just outside the door holding two rocking kennels, “I think they would like to be freed.”
“Oh, of course, please let them out!” I sit up in bed as he sets the kennels down, and Yes and No come bounding across the room the second he swings t
he doors open.
“Would you like me to close the doors and keep them in here?”
“No, let them explore their new home. Marcus doesn’t like the door closed.” Just as I speak the words they both run out the door forcing Black to jump aside.
“Oh!” I laugh at his expression.
“What’s going on in here?” Marcus strolls past Black and the abandoned kennels.
“Yes and No are trying to kill Black,” I say between fits of giggles.
Black mumbles, “Miserable pests,” as he tugs his shirt down and picks up the kennels to put them away.
Marcus smirks, “Those are my fur balls, Black.” He taunts him as he walks away. Black harrumphs his disapproval making me laugh harder.
“You’re very jubilant today, aren’t you?”
“What’s not to be jubilant about?” I reach out and take his hand to pull him down into bed with me. “I’ve got you, your surgery is behind us, we are home and I’m pregnant with twins.” The reality is too much and it brings me from full on laughter to tears in one breath.
“Are all women as unbalanced and bewildering as you when they’re pregnant?” I chuckle between sobs, and wonder the same thing. I have never felt so happy or so nuts.
“I don’t know but I do feel pretty crazy.”
He tucks a long piece of stray hair behind my ear and lazily drags his finger along my jaw before cupping my cheek. “You get to be double crazy because there are two babies.” The corners of his mouth lift in a warm smile.
“I’m double crazy because I’m pregnant with two of your babies.”
“You only have this shield for a few months. I’m keeping track of your smart mouth, Mrs. Castillo. Don’t think I won’t find a way to punish you later.” He tickles me gently when he says the word punish.
“Promises, promises…”
“Oh, lady, that’s two now in a matter of seconds. Watch it.”
“Alright, I’ll be good. Is it bath time?”
“Yes,” he says, hauling me from bed to carry me next door with no effort.
“You won’t be able to lift me pretty soon I’ll be so fat.” I stick my lip out and pout.
