by Owen Sheers
Ali His dad was right. Coppers don’t have no mates. My grandfather said I’d never amount to anything. When he died I joined up. When I passed out and saw the look on my mum’s face I thought great, two birds, one stone. I made my grandad proud and my mum don’t think I’m a knobhead anymore.
Richard I just always wanted to. Ever since my older brother gave me this tank you built yourself. I was always running round the woods, that kind of thing. I loved those films too – The Longest Day, Zulu. I signed up when I was sixteen. The Paras. My mum was concerned, of course she was. But she’s always supported me. Always.
Marc It was the only thing that would swallow my energy. They didn’t get me at school, ADHD and all that.
Dave Every man in my family’s served. Every one. Crimea, Boer War, World War One, World War Two. I was born with my fists out. You know Psalm 144? I got it on my back – ‘Blessed be the Lord, my strength, which teaches my hands to war and my fingers to fight.’
Becky I got a scholarship to Sandhurst in the sixth form. I just wanted to do something different.
John It was a way out, to be honest. I had an attitude problem. And a temper. Was either the Army or the other way, if you know what I mean. The police and my parents pushed me in. This bloke had stabbed my best friend. Me and a few mates were on the way to his house. To sort him out.
Angus I’d split up with my girlfriend, so, yeah, I thought let’s do it. Let’s have some. Iraq had just kicked off so there was no better time to join, was there? It’s about security, too. I mean for me, my family. Stability.
The Soldiers remain in their final positions.
SCENE FOUR – RECRUITMENT
Three women enter: Frank’s girlfriend Michelle, Richard’s mother Tracy and Charlie’s fiancée Lauren.
Michelle He said he was doing it for all of us, our future. And I still believe him. He was. We had our Liam on the way and, well, we needed the money. So yeah, of course I supported him.
Tracy My husband, his step-dad, he was in the Army. So, yeah, I know what it’s like. What they’re like. And I know he’s always wanted to join, from when he was little.
Lauren We met two weeks before he went for his basic training. I was working in a pub. He had to have three shots of tequila before he had the courage to ask me out. He was full of it, even then.
Michelle He really wanted to do something. He wanted to make a difference. And he did, I’m sure of it. There was just so much we didn’t know, wasn’t there? About what it was going to be like. When he went away. Afterwards.
Tracy But, at the end of the day he’s my son, isn’t he? He’s my baby. I’d never stop him, but, well, it’s hard, yeah, it is. Seeing your boy go off like that.
Lauren I could see straight away there was no way he wouldn’t go. And I was never going to ask him to choose, was I? I mean, who wants to hear they come second?
A single spotlight upstage discovers Simi. She begins walking downstage, singing a gospel song to the tune of ‘His Eyes on the Sparrow’.
Simi
I sing because I’m happy
I sing because I’m free
For his eyes are over all of us
And I know he’s watching me.
The other women exit.
Simi When I was seven I had a dream. I was going to live where the Queen lived. And I was going to be a soldier.
I’d seen her when she came to visit on Independence Day. All of us were lining the streets of San Fernando, waving. And she waved back. She had a pink hat, and a matching suit. And as she waved I was shouting, ‘I’m going to live where you live! I’m going to live where you live!’
And then I had my dream. I told my mother about it while she was combing my hair.
Young Simi enters and kneels in front of Simi, who begins combing her hair.
Young Simi There were four of us, four girls. My mother kept forgetting our names, so in the mornings when she was getting us ready for school, she numbered us instead, one to four. I was number three.
Beat.
Mummy?
Simi (as her mother) Keep your head still, child!
Young Simi I had a dream last night.
Simi (as her mother) You always dreaming some stupidness!
Young Simi No, Mum! This is a good one.
Simi (as her mother) You always say it’s a good one. Go on then. What is it?
Young Simi I dreamt I was a soldier and I lived where the Queen lives.
Simi (as her mother) Where the Queen lives? Where the Queen lives? I told you it was a stupid dream! You know where the Queen lives?
Young Simi No.
Beat.
But I can find out.
Simi (as her mother) Get to school before you’re late! And stop talking your stupidness!
She ushers Young Simi away.
Young Simi (to the audience) Joining the Army wasn’t even a thought in my family. I had no father, so Mum was both Mum and Dad. Every time I mentioned my dream she went ballistic.
Simi (as her mother) Of course I did! What is to have a girlchild in the Caribbean and be mother, father, everything? You want to keep them close. Where you can see them, reach them.
Young Simi If I was playing in the backyard and went out the gate, she’d come out to pull me back in.
Simi (as her mother) You was too far for me to reach out that gate. Too far.
Young Simi But I wanted to do something different. I wanted to go to England. I wanted to be a soldier.
So one day I woke up and I told her. I was going.
The two women look at each other.
Simi (as her mother) Too far. Too far.
Young Simi walks upstage towards a recruiting office.
Young Simi Two weeks after I got to England I saw an advert. ‘Be the Best,’ it said. ‘Join the British Army.’ I got on a bus to Edgware, came out of the station and there, in front of me, was a careers centre. So I walked in.
She enters the recruiting office, where Dave sits behind a desk.
Dave Afternoon, how can I help you?
Young Simi I’d like to join the Army.
Dave Well, you’ve come to the right place. Are you local?
Young Simi Pardon?
Dave Are you from round here?
Young Simi No. I’m from Trinidad. San Fernando. I have my passport.
Dave But you didn’t come from there today?
Young Simi No. I came from my auntie’s.
Dave And she lives in –?
Young Simi Kent. She lives in Kent.
Dave Right, fair enough. Well, let’s get started shall we? Age?
Young Simi Pardon?
Dave How old are you?
As Dave asks the question the lights come up on another recruiting office upstage. Richard and his mother, Tracy, sit across a desk from Roger.
Richard Sixteen.
Tracy Two months ago, August.
Roger Right, thanks. And was it always the Paras that interested you, Richard?
Richard Yeah.
Roger And why’s that?
Richard Well, they’re the best, ain’t they?
Roger We like to think so. Some bootnecks might tell you different, but yeah, the best, that’s right. Enjoy your sports, do you? Outdoor stuff?
Richard Yeah, I do.
Roger Well, you’ll get plenty of that. Skydiving, water-skiing in Cyprus, scuba diving – (To Tracy.) There’s some brochures there if you want to take a look – muff diving.
Tracy How long is the training again?
As she asks the question the lights come up on another office downstage. Becky sits across a desk from Frank.
Becky Thirty-two weeks, if you pass everything first time.
Frank My girlfriend’s pregnant. Will I be away for all that time?
Becky No. There’s a break halfway though. But bear in mind, Frank, of every fifty recruits who try and join the Marines, only nine or ten will graduate.
Frank Right. Yeah, I read that. So I’ll miss the birth
?
Becky Well, perhaps. Probably. Initially. Any marriage plans?
Frank We thought we’d wait until I’d finished training.
Becky Right. Well, yes, that could work. If you pass out on a Friday, you’ll be reporting for duty with your new unit on the Monday morning. So there’s a couple of days there.
Frank It’s that quick?
As he asks the question the lights come up on another office downstage. Leroy sits across a desk from Charlie, who wears his prosthetic leg under his jeans.
Leroy Can be. A year from now you could be in Afghan. Norway. Belize.
Charlie Sweet.
Leroy And that stuff you hear about women and the uniform? All fucking true. You get your green beret, women all over your cock.
Charlie So when can I get started?
Leroy You can start now if you want to, mate. I’ll just get the forms and we’ll get cracking.
He wheels away from the desk, revealing he has no legs.
(As he returns to the desk.) Everything all right mate?
Charlie Yeah, sorry. It’s just. I didn’t realise … um, well, you’ve got no legs.
Leroy Well, at least you’ll pass the observation test.
Beat.
Look, you’re making the right choice, Charlie. When you join the corps you join a family. You’ll make friends who’ll be closer to you than brothers. You’ll have a hoofing time with them. You’ll fight for them, and they’ll fight for you. Yeah, shit happens, but I wouldn’t change any of it. I lost my legs, but I saved my best friend’s life that day. You any idea what that feels like? To care that much about something, to care that much about doing your job?
Charlie No.
Leroy Sign here today and you will.
All four recruits – Young Simi, Richard, Frank and Charlie – sign simultaneously.
Young Simi turns towards the audience.
Young Simi I signed up for twenty-two years. Then I got on the bus and went back to my auntie’s. When I came in the door I told her, ‘Auntie, I’m a soldier.’ I was living my dream.
The other recruits also face the audience. They all raise one hand. Young Simi begins the Oath of Allegiance. The others join her in turn until they are all reciting the oath.
I swear by Almighty God that I will be faithful and bear true allegiance to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, her heirs and successors –
Charlie – and that I will as in duty bound honestly and faithfully defend Her Majesty, her heirs and successors –
Richard – in person, crown and dignity against all enemies –
Frank – and will observe and obey all orders of Her Majesty, her heirs and successors –
All – and of the generals and officers set over me. So help me God.
SCENE FIVE – TRAINING
As the recruits come to the end of the Oath they are joined by Marc and Angus. The sound of a train leaving a station. They loiter. Some light cigarettes.
Suddenly Darren marches through them, screaming orders.
Darren Oi! You lot, get fell in! That means get into a fucking line!
Put out that fag, you scraggy little shit! Stand up straight! Don’t you fucking look at me like that, you worthless little shit! Get that fucking hoodie down! You’re in a new gang now! You two, Pinky and Perky, put those fucking phones away!
Richard Sorry, Sarge.
Darren Sarge? Sarge? Would you like me to massahge your passahge with my sausahge? I’m not your sarge, I’m a bombardier, shitlips!
He turns on the audience.
What you fucking looking at? You! Get a haircut. You! Sit up straight. Don’t you fucking smile at me, sonny boy! You think I’m funny, do you? Well, we’ll soon see about that.
As Darren marches the recruits around the stage, the Training Song begins.
TRAINING SONG
You will not call me mate,
I am not your friend.
You will not call me sir,
I am not your friend,
You will call me Bombardier,
You will look at me with fear,
For no matter how sweet I may appear,
I am not your friend!
When I say ‘Sit up’, you do. (Yes, we do!)
When I say ‘Brace up’, you do. (Yes, we do!)
When I say ‘Stand to’, stand to. (Yes, we do!)
You will never ask me why.
And when I say ‘Jump!’,
You will ask ‘How high?’
Polish boots is what you do. (Yes, we do!)
You love starch and Brasso too. (Yes, we do!)
Thinking you can leave to me.
Uniform is your ID.
In your sleep, you’ll dream PT. (Yes, we do!)
Just one way to survive;
You all work as a team.
To make it out alive,
You all work as a team.
Close as twins inside the womb,
Close as corpses in a tomb,
Like a bride astride a groom,
You all work as a team.
Feel the burn, enjoy the pain. (Feel the burn!)
Pain is pleasure, tell your brain. (Feel the burn!)
You’re alive, so pain is gain! (Feel the burn!)
Feeling pain you won’t succumb,
And you won’t feel fear till you’re feeling numb.
Clean your rifle, then yourself. (My weapon, myself!)
Think of your rifle, then yourself. (My weapon, myself!)
When your rifle’s really clean,
And by clean I mean pristine,
You can load your magazine.
(My weapon, myself!)
The recruits are marched offstage.
SCENE SIX – BRIEFING 1
Daniel enters with a white screen. A map of Afghanistan is projected on to it. He addresses the audience as if at a military briefing.
Daniel British forces first entered Afghanistan in 1839 with the aim of conquering and controlling the country to prevent further expansion of the Russian empire. This first Afghan War resulted in British withdrawal.
The Second Afghan War was fought in 1878, again resulting in British withdrawal.
We entered Afghanistan for a third time in 1919 and withdrew the same year, celebrated annually on Afghan Independence Day on 19th August. These three Afghan wars are sometimes referred to as ‘The Great Game’.
A communist-backed coup precipitated an invasion by the Soviet Union in 1979. This invasion was resisted by the Mujahaddin, who fought a guerrilla war resulting in Soviet withdrawal ten years later in ’89.
Between ’92 and 2001 the Taliban gained control of the country. They imposed strict Shari’a law and provided a safe haven for Al Qa’eda.
The Taliban were overthrown by the Northern Alliance and US/UK forces in 2001. They still remain active in southern parts of the country including Helmand Province, where British forces have had locations in Sangin, Kajaki, Musa Qala, Nad Ali, Gereshk, Lashkar Gah, Garmsir and many more.
The territory ranges from fertile farmland along the Helmand river, running north to south, to desert and semi-desert beyond. In the summer Afghanistan is one of the hottest countries in the world with temperatures regularly above 40° centigrade. Winter temperatures are often well below freezing.
Helmand Province covers a total area of 59,000 square kilometres, larger than Wales and Northern Ireland put together. In 2002 the British had three hundred troops on the ground. In 2005 we had three thousand, and now we have nine thousand, five hundred servicemen and women in the country.
Afghanistan has always been a strategic crossroads for the region, and in today’s operating environment its neighbours Pakistan and Iran both have significant interests in the country. Some of the players have changed, but the playing field remains the same.
The Great Game, ladies and gentleman, continues.
Daniel exits
SCENE SEVEN – FIELD MEDIC COURSE
The call to evening prayer from a minaret. ‘Chasing C
ars’ by Snow Patrol plays faintly in the background.
Marc, Richard, Young Simi, Frank, Darren sit in a semicircle, their backs to the audience. Roger and Angus march in with John, who wears full combat uniform, Osprey, helmet.
Angus Right, forget what you learnt on your FA1S, BCTD, CFX or whatever. For the next six months this is the only course you need to remember. If you listen up it’ll either save your life or one of your oppos, so listen up good. John! Now, John here has kindly agreed to be our puppet today. Say hello, John.
John Hello.
Angus As you can see John’s all kitted out to take on the Tali. Helmet, Osprey, weapon system. Combined weight of 70 to 80 kilos. It’s hot today, isn’t it? Well, get used to it, because it’s always fucking hot. Except when it’s cold, and then it’s fucking cold. Either way, whatever the weather, you’re going to be spending a lot of your time out here carrying this load. Want to know what that feels like?
He points to Marc. Then to Frank.
Jump on his back.
Marc Corporal?
Roger He said jump on his fucking back. You never had a piggy-back before?
Marc Yes, Corporal!
Marc jumps up on to Frank’s back.
Angus Thank you. Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is what carrying full kit is like. Like having Anderson on your back. All day. Bear that in mind at all times. When taking on fluid, when going on patrol, but most importantly when you or one of your mates steps on some massive device that blows you, him, or both of you sky high. Thank you, gents, that’ll do.
Roger Everything you need to protect yourself, to survive or to save your mucka, is carried here, on your person.
Roger begins going through John’s pouches and pockets, pulling out the kit.
Ammunition, bayonet, pistol, PRR, morphine – lose that and you will not be fucking popular! Field dressings, compression bandages. Celox gauze – remember every hole’s a goal! Asherman seal for those sucking chest wounds. Tourniquet! High and tight! Tight is right! And always check the back of the fucking wound too!
Angus So much for the kit. Now let’s get to the stuff that really matters. (To John.) Strip down, John.
John hesitates.
Roger You heard him. Down to your blast pants.
