“It’s out. You can get off me now.”
John pat him down one more time and then stood with his hand outstretched to Chris. When Chris stood up, I couldn’t hold back the laughter any more. The guys all turned to me with glares.
“What are you laughing at?” Chris sneered. He really tried to be intimidating to me, but I was so used to him that his demeanor didn’t scare me now.
“I’m sorry, but you guys look so funny.” I wiped the tears from my eyes as I walked into the kitchen and picked up the book Jules was reading from. “What made you think making a Julia Child recipe was a good idea?”
“Sam wanted to impress you,” John said in defense of their attempt.
I flipped through the bookmarked pages and laughed again. “Coq au vin means rooster with wine. You didn’t think it was odd that you were adding cognac to the pastry mix instead of the meat?”
“I must have gotten the pages confused,” Jules said as he grabbed the book and looked at the recipe again.
“I felt bad about how we left things earlier and I wanted to do something nice for you,” Sam groused.
“That’s really sweet, but seriously, you guys are like badass warriors and nobody thought that pouring alcohol in a pot and lighting it on fire would be dangerous?”
Chris shrugged. “I’ll take any chance to light something on fire.”
“Well, now you owe me a new apron since you lit mine on fire.”
“Good riddance. I’ll get you a good apron, not this girly shit.”
“Hey, she’s a girl,” Sam said in defense of his choice of aprons. “What girl doesn’t like floofy shit?”
“What are we going to do about dinner?” John grumbled. “I’m hungry.”
“Well, I could make dinner or one of you could go get a pizza,” I suggested.
“Pizza,” Jules practically shouted. “I’m starving. I can’t wait for you to cook something.”
“You’d better order a couple. I could eat a whole one myself,” Chris said as he peeled the apron off his burnt shirt.
John pulled out his phone and started ordering, so I thought now was as good a time as any to clear the air with Sam. I motioned for him to follow me and headed for the living room.
“Sam, I just wanted to apologize about earlier.”
He shook his head and took my hand in his. “No, I’ve been so wrapped up in my own shit that I didn’t stop to think about how you were doing. I’ve been leaving you here all alone every day and that couldn’t have made things easy.”
“I don’t blame you for leaving the house. You have to do PT to get better and you have a company to run. I didn’t expect you to sit around here all day and entertain me. Just do me a favor and don’t keep anything else from me. It’s easier for me to deal with if I know what’s going on.”
“I just wanted to keep you from getting hurt. It’s gotta suck to know that your father was going to hand you over to a monster.”
“It does suck, but I had a right to know. Sam, my father kept me in the dark about everything going on in our lives. I can’t leave that situation and walk into the same exact one with you.”
“I know. It won’t happen again. I promise.”
“Good.” I leaned over and kissed him and then toppled onto his lap when he grabbed my ass and jerked me forward. I climbed into his chair and let him kiss me hard and deep. I didn’t want to fight with him and right now, making up sounded like a really good plan.
“Is this going to be a live show?” John asked from the kitchen. “Maybe we should get some popcorn.” Chris punched him in the arm and glared at him, but John just winked at me. “She’s got the body for it. I’m just saying.”
✯✯✯✯✯
Sam decided to stay up with the guys for a while after dinner, but I was exhausted and decided to head to bed. After a quick shower to scrub the disgust of the day off me, I climbed into bed and fell asleep. I woke some time in the middle of the night and was surprised to see Sam sitting in an armchair watching me. I cocked my head to the side when he continued to stare at me.
“Is something wrong?” I asked.
“Come here,” he said in a gravelly voice. I got up and walked slowly over to him, realizing only then that I was wearing his t-shirt that I had borrowed the first night. Only his t-shirt. I stopped next to the chair he was sitting in and waited for what he would say next.
He lifted his hand from the arm of the chair and let his fingers skim across my thigh and toy with the hem of my shirt. I held my breath as his hand slid up my thigh until it was on my hip. His eyes flicked up to mine when he realized that I wasn’t wearing anything underneath the shirt.
Heat smoldered in his eyes and it didn’t take a genius to figure out that he was having a hard time holding back right now. I spread my feet so one was on each side of his legs. His nostrils flared as my shirt rode up slightly, giving him a good view of what was underneath. He looked up at me one last time and his eyes bored into mine.
“Straddle me.” His voice was thick and deep and I found myself instantly climbing on, just to see what he would say next.
His hand slid to my inner thigh and his eyes closed when he touched my pussy. I was soaked for him. Just having him barely touch my thigh had sent my body into overdrive. I let out a whimper when he started to slide his fingers back and forth through my folds.
“Fuck, you’re going to be the death of me.” He pulled me further down onto his lap, my legs straddling his waist as I felt his hard length through his sweats. I ran my hands over his taut muscles and down toward the V that was more defined than the first time I saw it months ago. Sam thought that he was at a disadvantage this way, but all his upper body work had made him into one very fine man.
He bucked his hips, grinding his cock against my pussy, but I needed more. I stood and bent down on my knees in front of him, pulling at his sweats. He raised his hips, but the rest was on me. His eyes never left my face as I finished pulling off his pants and licked my lips as I looked at his hard cock.
Taking him in my hand, I stroked him slowly from the base to the tip. As I ran my finger over his pre-cum, he jerked in my hand.
“What do you want, Sam?”
“Anything you want.”
“No. I want you to tell me exactly what you want right now.”
He blew out a harsh breath and chuckled. “I want you to suck me. I want to feel your lips wrapped around my cock. Is that direct enough for you?”
I smiled and opened my mouth wide enough to take him all the way in. I hollowed my cheeks and sucked him hard. When he tried to pull back, I sucked even harder.
“Shit. You have to stop before I blow.”
I pulled back and straddled his lap once more. We had used condoms so far, but now I wanted to feel him inside me bare. I had never had that before, but I wanted it with him.
“I have an implant. Do you want me to get a condom?”
He shook his head slightly, his eyes drifting closed as I started to sink down on him.
“Wait,”
“Ugh, please don’t tell me to stop. I might actually kill you.”
“I just wanted to tell you how beautiful you are. I may be an asshole and I may not be able to do this in the conventional way, but you still deserve everything else I can give.”
He ran his hand across my cheek and cupped the back of my neck, drawing me in and crashing his mouth against mine. As he pushed his tongue in my mouth, I lost myself in him and didn’t even realize that I was squeezing his cock to the point of pain.
“Ow,” he gasped as he pulled back from me. “Maybe you could release my cock before I have more than just blue balls.”
“Shit, sorry,” I said with a wince.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. Just take it easy on me.”
I covered my face with my hands in embarrassment, but he nudged my chin up with his knuckles.
“Hey, it’s fine.”
His lips came down on mine again, but this time I kept my hands to mysel
f, not trusting that I wouldn’t hurt him again. He pulled my shirt up over my head and ran his tongue down my neck, kissing and licking every inch down to my breasts. My hips started moving, grinding against him harder and faster until he grabbed ahold of his cock and stilled my hips so he could thrust up into me.
I took my time, slowing sliding up and down him as his hands ran up and down my back. I could feel him shaking beneath me and his breathing turned ragged. “Oh, shit. I’m not going to last,” he said with short breaths. I leaned forward and kissed down his neck until I reached the barbell that pierced his nipple. Sucking it into my mouth, I flicked it with my tongue until he was shaking under me. His hand moved back to my pussy and he worked my clit until I was throbbing around him as he came inside me.
His breath hit my shoulder in short bursts as he leaned against my chest. My legs were already hurting and I had barely spent more than ten minutes in that position.
“We’re going to have to get more creative in our positions. My legs are killing me.”
“You just need to come to PT with me. They’ll whip you into shape.”
I laughed at the absurdity of that statement. “Sam, there’s something you need to know about me.”
“What’s that?”
“I’m allergic to working out.”
✯✯✯✯✯
Sam was using a walker now and he was doing so well, but I could tell that he was pushing it too far too fast. He was desperate to be walking without it and his building frustration over how long it was taking was getting to all of us. The guys tried to tell him to slow down, but he wouldn’t listen. I decided to keep my opinions to myself and instead focused on taking care of him when he pushed himself too hard.
I walked into the living room one morning, starving and ready to make breakfast, to see Sam shove his walker to the side and step around it. My instincts told me to go to him and help him, but he would just get angry with me. I stepped back out of sight and watched as he took a few steps holding onto the back of the couch and then stepped away toward the kitchen. There was nothing around for him to hold onto and I could see his legs shaking with every step he took. His shirt was already showing sweat stains, which meant this wasn’t the first time this morning he had done this.
The moment his legs started to buckle, I rushed forward, but I was too late. He was already going down and I couldn’t stop it. He hit the ground hard and then pounded the floor in frustration as he cursed and yelled. I knelt down next to him and placed my hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged me off and glared at me.
“I don’t need any fucking help. Just let me do this on my own.”
“Sam, you’re pushing yourself too hard. You’re going to hurt yourself.”
“I know what I’m doing. I need to do this. I need to get back to work.”
“I know, but-”
“You don’t fucking know!” he yelled. “You don’t know what it’s like to sit around being absolutely useless while other people protect what’s yours. You don’t know what it’s like to know that if someone walked in right now and tried to kill the woman you loved, you wouldn’t be able to do anything to stop it.”
“Is there a problem here?” Chris was standing in the doorway with his gun in his hand. His eyes bored into Sam and he had murder on his face. Obviously, he had thought something else was going on.
“No. Thank you, Chris. Sam was just telling me that I don’t know what it’s like to be useless.” I chuckled a little. “Kind of ironic since I’m the one that needs protection. I don’t know how to shoot a gun and if someone walked in here right now, I wouldn’t be able to do a damn thing to help myself or anyone else. So don’t tell me that I don’t know what it’s like. At least you know how to shoot a weapon. I’m sorry that you’re going through this, Sam, but you have to stop pushing away the people that are trying to help you.”
I walked away, but I heard Chris tell Sam that he was an asshole. I stayed in my room most of the day, avoiding Sam and his bad mood. It was hard enough for me to be here all day and stay positive. It was even worse when I felt like Sam resented the fact that I was here. I thought that maybe my being here made his recovery harder on him because he felt a need to prove that he could take care of me if something were to happen.
I didn’t really care if Sam could protect me right now. All I wanted was for him to be with me. I needed to know that he wouldn’t keep pushing himself too hard. I wanted the man inside, not the man he thought he had to be.
“Guess I really fucked up. Again.” Sam was in his wheelchair, something he rarely used anymore. “Yeah, I pushed myself too hard, just like you said.” He shook his head in frustration. “I’m sorry that I was an asshole. I just-”
“Don’t. I don’t want the excuses, Sam. I know that this is hard on you, but can’t you see that I don’t care about if you can walk or if you can leap in front of a bullet for me?”
“I care,” he said fiercely.
“I know. And I want that for you, but what I want even more is the man that stopped being an asshole to me because he didn’t want to see me hurting. You’re getting so wrapped up in getting better that you can’t see all the progress you’ve already made. You have to slow down or you’re going to end up in that chair permanently.”
“I’m trying here, Vanessa. But you can’t ask me to stop. This is who I am. I push the limits because I know I can do better. Yeah, I’m getting frustrated and I’m sure I’m no peach to be around, but I need to do this.”
“Then at least tell me how I can help or what you need from me. If you want me to stay away then just say so.”
“I don’t want that. What I need is for you to be okay with the fact that I’m going to do this my way and sometimes I’ll push it too far. But I’m doing what I need to do.”
“I can handle that as long as you don’t snap at me.”
He pulled me onto his lap and kissed me sweetly, telling me how sorry he was. I knew that he needed me to be on his side with this and I was, but I also needed to be the one he turned to when he was frustrated. If he couldn’t turn to me, then what was the point in us being together?
CHAPTER TWELVE
Cazzo
“I HAVE TO get into work. Someone tried to run Cap off the road on his way home,” I said as I pulled on some clothes. Vanessa sat up in bed, wiping the sleep from her eyes as she held the sheet up against her chest. I limped over to her and tore the sheet down as I leaned in and kissed her breasts.
“Mmm. Don’t stop.”
“Believe me, I don’t want to, but I have to get in and see what we’re dealing with.” She pouted and I tugged on her bottom lip. “If you don’t want me teasing you, then you shouldn’t sleep naked. I can’t help it that I needed one last taste.”
“Just don’t be gone too long. The bed’s going to get cold without you.”
“I’ll try to hurry.”
I made my way to the front door where Derek was waiting for me. I was still moving pretty slow and using a cane, but at least I wasn’t using the fucking walker anymore. If I had to go far, I usually had to stop and take breaks, but overall, I was doing much better. I wouldn’t be out running any marathons anytime soon, but I was definitely on my way to a full recovery.
“Hey, what’s going on?” I asked as we walked to his truck.
“Two vehicles followed Cap from the hospital and tried running him off the road. We weren’t too far behind and we were able to take out one of the vehicles. Cap ran the other head on into a semi. He’s got a few scrapes, but he should be good. We’ve got one live one back at the office that we need to interrogate.”
“Do we know if this is related to Vanessa?”
I opened the passenger door and hauled myself up into his truck. He stood by my side in case I needed assistance. It used to bother me, but now that I was doing better, I had learned to appreciate the hovering as his need to make sure I was okay instead of me actually needing the help.
“It’s got to be. There’s nobody else
that would be coming after us right now. We put John on high alert and I would have kept you at the house with Vanessa, but we really need you at the office right now.”
“It’s fine. I trust John.”
“Sinner and Burg aren’t at the office right now, but we’re holding off on calling them in right now. They just finished a job, so we’ll see what’s going on first.”
“We need to get something out of this guy. Vanessa can’t take too much more of this. She’s going crazy around the house.”
“I hope so, too. It would be nice to not have this hanging over our heads any more.”
“I want in on the interrogation.”
“No,” Derek shook his head.
“You don’t really have a say in it. I own just as much of the company as you do and this affects me. I will be in there.”
“Cazzo, think about this. You can’t be in the room. We have no idea what this guy’s connections are and until we do, you can’t be around him. We can’t risk you losing it and giving up the fact that you have feelings for Vanessa. It would be like painting a target on all of us.”
“Are you going to let him walk away if he tells you something?”
“No,” he said firmly.
“Then what’s the fucking problem? He won’t have anyone to tell anything to by the time I’m through with him.”
“You’re not using your head right now. The reason we’ve been able to keep Vanessa’s location a secret is because nobody, including people at Reed Security, knows that we have her. If you walk in there the way you are, everyone there will know that you have her.”
He was right and as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I would be a liability. All it would take was one word out of the fucker’s mouth about Vanessa and I knew I would lose my cool.
“Fine. What’s Cap doing?”
“He’s still back at the scene. We sent Chance to pick him up. Until he gets back, I need you running things and keeping everyone else busy. We pulled his phone, so find out everything you can about him while I work him over.”
Cazzo_A Reed Security Romance Page 13
