What the hell? Joel's voice is strained and his eyes are filled with frustration. He must be serious. I stare back at him like he's crazy.
"Older brothers love commitment."
"No fucking way." Only in Joel's universe does this kind of thing make sense. He'd probably marry somebody just to prove a point.
Joel shrugs his shoulders. Shakes his arms. It does nothing to ease the tension in his expression. "Only reason why you got clean was the threat to kick you out of the band."
I nod.
His voice drops. "I can't take you slipping again."
"I won't."
"You sure?"
I nod, but it isn't true. I can never be sure I'll stay clean. I can never promise it.
But, for the first time, I'm not satisfied with getting through the day miserable but sober. I'm not satisfied with surviving.
I want to thrive.
I want to stay clean for myself and for the band, but I want to do it for her too. So I can feel like the guy she sees me as.
Piper is sitting at the kitchen counter in black skinny jeans and a black button up shirt, nursing a cup of coffee.
Joel nods to her then to me. "You two match."
"On my way to a job interview." She barely looks at him. Her eyes are glued to mine. Her eyes are filled with desire. She's already blushing. "I never thought about it, but Kit dresses like a waiter."
"Yeah, he does." Joel motions towards the practice room down the hall. "We should get started."
"Of course." Piper sips her coffee. "I have to go soon." She checks the time on the clock. "Really soon. What time will you guys be done?"
"Depends how much time we spend bickering," I say.
Joel taps out the beat to Don't Fear the Reaper-the song has a killer drum solo—as he stares.
That's bad news. He only pulls out Blue Oyster Cult when he's really antsy.
"Ethan and Mal are already in the practice room. They're working on some duet thing." She looks to Joel. "Someone should stop them before they take it in a screamo direction."
Joel cocks a brow.
Piper nods.
Joel shoots me an I'm not buying this look but he does hightail it to the practice room.
Piper shifts off her chair. She wipes her hands on her jeans and takes a step closer. "I really should go."
"Where's the interview?" I ask.
"It's just down the street, on sixth. It's a more casual place but it might be worth the loss of tips to be able to walk to work." She looks at me like she's planning how to get me into bed in as few steps as possible. Then she's pinning her hips to mine. "I guess we shouldn't."
"We shouldn't." Even so, I cup the back of her head and bring her lips to mine.
She tastes like coffee and sugar.
She tastes good.
She groans into my mouth as she digs her fingers into my upper arms.
I press my palm into her lower back, holding her body against mine.
I'm not sure I'll ever get tired of kissing Piper.
She sighs as she pulls back. "Fuck, I really should go."
"Me too."
Still, she stares into my eyes.
Still, I pull her into another slow, deep kiss. My tongue dances with hers. My fingers fumble with the hair tie holding together her ponytail.
We shouldn't kiss like this.
It's only a matter of time until somebody comes out here to grab me.
But I don't care.
I want Piper's body against mine. I want her lips on mine. I want her moaning from my touch.
Somehow, I force myself to pull back. She's staring at me, her blue eyes full of desire and affection. Every part of my body begs me to take her upstairs, throw her on her bed, and plant my face between her legs.
My head steps in enough that I don't.
"I really have to go." She reaches back to fix her hair then she grabs her purse. "I'll be here when practice ends. If Mal and Ethan leave... or we can go somewhere... or it's okay if you have plans. Just let me know, you know, when you're done with practice."
I nod. "I will."
I watch her walk away—fuck does she have a fantastic ass—then make my way to our practice room.
Joel shoots me a concerned look but his voice stays even. He nods to Ethan, tuning his guitar as he gushes about Violet. "He's never going to stop."
"You don't know what it's like to wake up next to someone you love every day." Ethan gets a dreamy, far off look in his eyes.
"Damn if he's this annoying after two mornings, how bad is he gonna be next week?" Joel teases.
"You remember how annoying he was after she left him?" Mal shakes his head. "This is a blessing."
"True." Joel takes a seat at his drum kit. He shoots me an I hope you know what you're doing look then turns to Ethan. "Don't fuck it up again."
Ethan's smile widens. "Tell me something I don't know." He places his guitar pick between his teeth, does one last check of his strings, then strums a few chords. "We went to Ikea yesterday."
"Fuck, please tell me that's the end of the story," Joel says.
"You don't want to hear the part about Violet coming on my hand in one of those tiny rooms?" Ethan's eyes light up as he falls into the memory.
Joel shakes his head. "That's tacky."
"And it's bullshit." Mal chuckles.
Ethan shrugs wouldn't you like to know?
"I've got things to do later. If we could start practicing sometime before one..." Joel nods to the clock on the wall that reads five to noon.
Mal chuckles. "Let's start with Better Days." His eyes meet mine with a serious expression. "Unless you have something to say, Kit."
"Let's start with Tied up with You." I don't give anyone a chance to disagree.
I play my first note.
Despite the bickering and the tension, by the time we're at the first verse, we're all lost in the music.
We're all where we should be.
By some miracle, we stay on task enough to finish before three.
Mal sets his guitar in its stand then his eyes find mine. He's wearing his usual poker face. He motions to Joel and Ethan then to the door.
He wants to talk privately, without drawing attention to it.
That must mean he knows.
Of course he knows—he came to my apartment Saturday morning. He saw her dress on my floor, my clothes on her body, her neck dotted with hickeys.
Only question is how he's this fucking calm.
Joel shoots me a curious look. "You coming?"
I shake my head. "Need to fix a string."
"Sure." Joel looks to Ethan. "Heading home to put the roast in, Martha Stewart?"
Ethan smiles. "There's only one thing I put in—"
"Fuck, please stop." Joel cringes. He nods goodbye to me and Mal. "Until next time."
Ethan laughs. "I thought you liked details."
"Sexy details." He leans in to whisper. But Joel's whisper is as loud as normal conversation. "You really finger Vi at Ikea?"
"I wouldn't make that up." Ethan smiles.
"No fucking way."
The two of them drop to actual whispers on their way out the door. No doubt, they're sharing all sorts of details.
Mal takes a step towards me. He stares me dead in the eyes. "You've cleaned shit up, Kit. I respect that. I'm not gonna hold your past against you. But if you slip and she has to watch, if you drag her down with your junkie bullshit—I've seen it happen to women who tried to save the broken bad boy too many times—" Mal's expression shifts to something protective. "If she has to watch you try to destroy yourself then I will fucking kill you."
His voice is matter of fact.
I don't have a doubt that Mal really would kill me for dragging Piper into hell with me.
Fuck knows I'd do the same thing if I had a sister.
He nods goodbye. "I'll see you in a few days."
"Yeah."
"You leaving or staying?"
"Staying."
"Lock the door behind you when you leave."
"Sure."
He takes a step into the hallway. "Piper means a lot more to me than the band or some fucking money. Don't break her heart."
A few steps and he's gone.
I should go straight to Piper's room, but I'm too stuck on Mal's words to leave.
I'm not afraid of Mal.
But the thought of slipping and pulling Piper with me...
I can't fucking stomach that thought.
Chapter 28
Piper
I'm poring over casting calls when Kit knocks on my door.
"Come in."
He does. He leans against the frame. His eyes fix on mine. "Everyone's gone."
"They are."
"Been thinking about doing this all day." He goes to my desk, pulls me up from my chair, and pulls me into a deep kiss.
God, he tastes good.
My lips part to make way for his tongue. He doesn't hold back. He kisses me hard. Affection pours from him to me then back again.
I pull back with a needy sigh. "I should shower."
He raises a brow.
"You could join... if you want."
"If I want?" He smiles, reveling in my nervousness.
"I'd like you to join."
"Your shower big enough?"
"We'll make it work." I squeeze his hand and lead down the hall. I'm pretty sure Kit is saying something but I haven't got a clue what it is. My head is too full of thoughts of his naked, sopping wet body to focus on anything else.
The shower in my bathroom is okay, but the shower in Mom and Dad's bathroom—that's a hell of a shower.
Usually, we ignore their room. It's a waste of a beautiful master bedroom—the windows look out on the ocean—but it's not like anyone wants to sleep here.
Kit takes in the room with a bemused smirk.
"Yes?" I ask.
He nods to the expensive dresser. "Nice stuff."
"And?"
He smiles. "Spoiled rich girl."
"When I see your parents' place, I'm going to torture you as badly as you're torturing me." I reach up to undo his top button. "Then you'll be sorry for your attitude."
He shakes his head. "Won't be sorry."
"How can you be sure?"
He runs his fingers over my jawline then over my cheeks. "You're too cute when you're nervous."
"I'm not nervous."
"Or embarrassed."
"I'm not—"
"You are." He pulls my hair tie off. "You want to earn your way in the world." He runs his fingers through my hair. "It's admirable."
"Stubborn?"
"That too." He leans down to press his lips to mine.
I groan as his tongue slides into my mouth. I have a task here, and it's getting him naked. I can't forget that just because he's a fantastic kisser.
There. I undo one button. A second. A third. Then Kit's hands are on my ass, and he's pulling my body into his, pressing my crotch into his erection, and I forget about everything else.
He undoes the buttons of my jeans and pushes them off my hips.
I shimmy them to my ankles then step out of them. Again, my hands fumble over his buttons. This time, I manage to get them all.
He slides the shirt off his shoulders. His eyes find mine. His pupils are dilated and his cheeks are flushed, but his brow is furrowed and there's tension in his shoulders.
I reach up to run my fingers through his hair. "Don't make me ask what you're thinking again."
He cocks a brow.
"Or worse, offer you a penny for your thoughts."
"Don't want to bribe me?"
I shake my head.
"About something Mal said." His gaze goes to the view of the beach outside the windows. "Can't get it out of my head."
I run my fingers over his cheek. He leans into the gesture, but his eyes stay fixed on the ocean. His body stays turned away from mine.
My voice is low, a whisper. "What did he say?"
"Warned me not to break your heart."
"Is that something you were planning on doing?"
"No." He turns towards me. His dark eyes fix on mine. "This might not work. You might get hurt. I might get hurt. I can live with that."
"As opposed to?" I shift my weight between my legs. There's something different about his posture, his voice, his eyes—everything. Whatever it is that's haunting Kit, it's something he feels in his core.
But he's not saying anything.
Suddenly, my stomach is twisting and I'm not feeling steady. I dig my heels into the ground and look back into Kit's eyes. "What else would happen?"
"You ever know an addict?"
"You're not an addict anymore."
He shakes his head. "That's what I mean."
"What is?" I'm not going to take this coy shit lying down. I clamp onto his shoulders and turn his body towards mine. "If you don't want to talk to me, say that."
"You're caring and sweet."
"Thank you?"
"Loyal."
"Yeah."
"Stubborn."
What's his point?
"What if this works and we're happy. Fuck, what if we get married then five years down the line I slip, and drag you to rock bottom with me."
"What if I realize I'm never going to be as famous or talented as my brothers and I get bitter and we grow to resent each other? What if an asteroid crashes into Earth? What if we go to San Francisco the week the big one hits?"
"This is likely."
"No, it's not." I push him towards the wall. He's heavy and strong. I don't get very far. Okay, a softer approach might work better. I rub his shoulders and run my fingers down his chest and stomach. "You take your recovery seriously."
He says nothing.
"All tour, you stayed away from anything that could tempt you."
"Besides flirting with you."
"You know what I mean."
"I watched my mom's soul die, one day at a time. I've seen somebody break because they couldn't believe what someone they once loved was doing."
"I won't do that."
He shakes his head, but he says nothing.
"No one can promise they'll be healthy forever."
"Yeah, but—"
"No, but. I know you won't. I know you, Kit."
He looks at me strangely, like he's not sure what to think or say.
He's still drifting off somewhere.
I don't like it.
I need him back.
Slowly, I undo the buttons of my top and I push it off my shoulders. "Maybe you're right and you're going to slip in five years."
His gaze fixes on my hands.
I have him right where I want him. I take a deep breath and reach around my back to unhook my bra.
Slowly, I shift it off my shoulders. "If you do, and we're still together, then you're on your own."
He arches a brow. "You're going to leave me at my lowest point?"
"I'll give you one chance. Then that's it."
He gives me a long once over, like he's considering my offer. I'm not sure if I mean it. God knows I'm stubborn enough to insist my way or the highway.
But I am caring and loyal. It took me months to see what was right in front of my face with Rory. It's possible I'd take forever to figure it out, that I'd be too invested to leave.
Or that leaving would destroy me.
I stare back into Kit's eyes. None of that matters. Maybe I'm stupid or naive, but I believe in Kit. I have no idea what it feels like to have your life spiral that far out of control, but I know the person he is now.
And he's strong enough to ask for help if he needs it.
"We might die tomorrow," I slide my panties to my knees. "Does that mean we shouldn't enjoy today?"
"No..."
"Come shower with me." I take a step backwards.
He raises a brow. "Because we might die tomorrow?"
"Do you really need a reason to get naked with me?"
"No."
>
"Then come with me."
His eyes stay fixed on mine as he unbuttons his jeans and slides them to his hips.
And that's Kit, all of him.
But there's still a part of him that's off some place. Even as he follows me into the bathroom.
I move close enough to the shower to turn the water on. The first burst is freezing. It warms slowly.
I take Kit's hand to pull him closer. His body is hard against mine.
He's hard.
His lips are soft and sweet, but there's something off about his kiss. He's not here yet. Not back with me yet.
I pull back enough to step into the shower. Warm water pounds my back and shoulders. I lean back enough for it to wet my hair.
There's still a far off look in Kit's eyes.
I don't like it.
I motion come here.
He takes a minute to catch the gesture, but he does step into the shower with me and plant his body next to mine.
I scoot back enough for the shower to hit him too. It's a damn fine site, watching water drip off his shoulders and chest, all the way down his stomach.
"Kit." I run my fingers over his chest. "Are you that serious about me?"
He cocks a brow.
"That you think this will still be something in five or ten years?"
He nods.
God, I like the sound of that.
I rise to my tip toes to press my lips to his. It's a quick kiss, a taste.
This time, he kisses back. His tongue slides into my mouth and fuck, that piercing. Every brush of it sends sparks straight to my core. I try to dig my nails into his skin but it's too slick to get a grip.
Gently, I push him forward enough that the water is pounding my back. His hands go to my ass and pull me closer.
Then he's kissing me harder.
Deeper.
Groaning into my mouth.
He's back.
He must feel it too—that this is something serious, that it's worth the risk of everything going to shit.
I run my hands over his muscular arms. The water makes him slick. It's easy to explore every inch of his strong arms and shoulders.
He groans as I run my hands over his back. God, that sound is music. His kiss gets harder, more aggressive. His fingers dig into my ass.
Slowly, I run my fingers over every inch of his back. His hips. His strong thighs.
I have no idea what I'm doing, but I know I want to make him feel good. I want to make him groan like that again.
Dangerous Crush: A Rock Star Romance (Dangerous Noise Book 2) Page 21
