He kisses back, hard and hungry. Whatever it is that's going through his head, he needs me right now.
He needs me.
The realization sets my body on fire. I kiss him harder. I undo his buttons faster. I push his shirt off his shoulders and drag my fingers over his bare skin.
He leans into my touch, groaning against my lips, shifting his hips against mine.
He's hard.
And I need that.
I shift back enough to unbutton and unzip his jeans. There. My palm presses against his cock. My fingers curl around him.
With my other hand, I push his pants off his hips.
Touching him isn't enough.
I need more.
I break from our kiss and stare up into his eyes. "I want to..." I cultivate all the confidence I have. "I want to suck you off. We haven't done that."
His pupils dilate. "You sure?"
"Very sure." I press my lips to his chest. His skin tastes good. Like soap and like Kit. "I haven't done it. Will you show me?"
"Fuck yes." He drags his fingers through my hair then rests his palm against the back of my head. "Take off your dress."
I unzip the thing and slide it off my hips.
Kit's eyes go wide. "And your bra."
I unhook it and peel it off my chest.
Kit keeps one hand on the back of my head. He drags the other over my chest, playing with one nipple then the other then the first.
He leans down to suck on my earlobe.
Need pools in my core. I almost consider changing my request to him fucking me, hard, against the wall.
But I want to do this.
He drags his teeth over my neck. "I'm going to come on your tits, baby."
My sex clenches. It's a dirty demand. And it makes me feel dirty.
I fucking like feeling dirty.
I drag my lips down his chest and over his stomach.
Slowly, I lower myself onto my knees.
There's no more frustration on his face.
There's nothing in his expression except for desire.
I move closer. Close enough to brush my lips against his tip.
He shudders, his fingers knotting in my hair.
I do it again. Same shudder.
I flick my tongue against him.
He groans.
I try a slow lick, a fast one, a soft one, a hard one. Each makes him shudder in a different way.
Teasing him is fun, but it's not enough.
Slowly, I wrap my lips around his tip and take it into my mouth. There's something divine about having his cock in my mouth. This skin tastes as good as his chest. Or his lips.
It's as soft.
But he's so fucking hard.
"Cover your teeth with your lips." Kit tugs at my hair. "To take me deeper."
I do. It's tricky, but I can tell I've got it right by the way he's groaning.
I take him deeper.
"Slowly." He runs his fingers through my hair. His touch is gentle, sweet.
But that's not what I want right now.
I want him out of his mind with desire.
I press my palms against his ass for leverage then I take him deeper. The first try, I gag. I pull back enough to catch my breath, then I try again.
This time, I get him deeper. Deep enough his hand is tugging at my hair.
His hand cups the back of my head and pushes me gently. He looks down as if to ask permission.
I pull back enough to suck on his tip, enough to get him groaning, then I nod fuck yes.
Kit presses his palm against the back of my head to guide me over him.
I fall into a rhythm, taking him deeper then pulling back to his tip.
He groans. His shoulders shake. His fingers dig into my hair. With his other hand, he reaches down to play with my breast. His touch gets hard, aggressive. The way he pinches my nipples between his thumb and forefinger sends wave after wave of desire to my core.
I suck harder. Move faster.
He groans. His hips rock forward, driving his cock into my mouth. It's fast. I almost gag. But I manage to take him.
He does it again.
Again.
He pinches my nipple.
He presses his palm against the back of my head, pushing me deeper.
I have to dig my fingers into the flesh of his ass to keep my balance. But that only makes me needier.
He goes deeper.
Harder.
Rougher.
Need builds between my legs. He's leading, but I still feel powerful and in control.
I still feel like I'm the one bringing him all this pleasure.
I'm the one getting him out of his ugly thoughts.
His eyelids press together. He lets out a groan. His shoulders shake. Then it's his torso. His calves. His thighs.
He's about to come.
I suck harder.
Harder.
"Fuck. Piper." He shudders.
His entire body shakes. Even his cock is pulsing.
He pulls out from my mouth just in time to come on my chest.
This time, there's no water to wash it away. It's dirty and sexy, this evidence of the pleasure I brought him.
Kit looks down at me, his lids heavy with desire. He drops to his knees to help me clean up, then he's pinning me to the hardwood floor, pressing his lips to mine.
"Fucking amazing." He presses his palm against my sex, over my panties. "You need to come now, baby."
I shake my head. "I can't stay quiet."
"Then come home with me. Now."
I push myself up on my elbows. "You sure?"
He nods. His face is still wrecked with this beautiful mix of pleasure and desire. He's satisfied.
And he wants more.
He wants me to come.
Hell, if the look in his eyes is any indication, he needs me to come. Immediately.
A thrill runs down my spine. This is quite a power.
I push myself to my feet and get back into my bra and dress.
Kit slides his shirt on. He's pulling up his jeans when they start buzzing.
I laugh. "That would have been useful earlier."
His smile is short lived. It's a second then some realization hits him. He pulls his jeans to his waist, buttons them, and grabs his phone
His eyes fix on the screen. He gets that same far off look.
"Your dad again?" I ask.
"Yeah."
"Maybe you should talk to him."
"Soon." He nods to the door. "You should leave first."
I arch a brow.
"If we leave together, our clothes all fucked up, everyone will know."
Oh, that makes sense. I smooth my dress and run my fingers through my hair. "How do I look?"
"Like somebody was tugging at your hair." He smiles. "It's hot but—"
"Obvious?"
He nods.
"I'll go straight to the bathroom to clean up."
He plants a quick kiss on my lips then all his attention is on his cell.
It takes me fifteen minutes to fix my hair. Even so, when I emerge from the bathroom, Kit is nowhere to be seen.
I do a round of hellos, grab a glass of water, and check my cell for an update. Nothing from him.
The door to the study is still closed in its frame.
Is he still in there?
I slip out of sight. Once I'm sure no one is staring, I knock on the study door.
There's no answer.
I step inside anyway.
Kit is sitting on the couch, his cell in his lap, his eyes on the wall. He's staring but not at anything in particular.
As flattering as this could be, I don't think it has anything to do with me sucking him off.
I slide into the seat next to his.
His attention rouses enough for him to turn towards me. But his eyes are still blank. It's like he's hollow.
I lean in close enough to whisper. "What happened?"
"My mom ODed."
"Is s
he—"
"She's okay. In the hospital but okay." He presses his palms into his quads. "That's all he said."
"Is your dad there?"
He nods.
"Are you—"
"Yeah." He looks at me funny. "I should go."
"Yeah."
He leans in to kiss me, but that's hollow too. I run my fingers through his hair. I slide my tongue into his mouth.
He pulls back. His eyes find mine. "I'll call you when I get in."
"Yeah." My heart breaks for him. But there's something else too. Some part of him is missing. Some part that used to be mine. I need it back. I don't think. I jump to my feet and wrap my hands around his wrist. "Can I come?"
He looks at me funny.
"You should have someone there. To hold your hand. I have work tomorrow but I can get someone to fill in."
"Yeah." He nods. "But I'm leaving now."
"How?"
"I'll buy a ticket on my phone. The soonest one available."
"We can take my car. If that would be easier."
He nods, his eyes still hollow. "Let's get your stuff at your place."
"Yeah."
I follow him out the door, no longer concerned about someone seeing us.
No one does, but that doesn't make me feel any better.
I tell myself it's shock, that he'll be mine again soon.
But I don't believe it for a second.
Chapter 31
Piper
I finally get to ride on Kit's bike—I came to the party with Mal. It should be thrilling. My thighs are wrapped around the seat, my arms are wrapped around Kit, my skin is buzzing from the mix of the breeze and the motor.
But I'm stuck on that look in Kit's eyes.
On this awful feeling that everything is wrong.
He parks in the driveway, next to my car, and slides off the bike. He presses his palm against my back to lead me to the door.
That's normal, how things should be, but something is missing.
I try not to consider it. I need to pack as quickly as possible. Kit and I can talk more on the way. It's a seven hour drive or a forty five minutes flight plus two hours at the airport. We have plenty of time to talk.
But my heart is still in my throat.
My hands are still shaking so much I ban barely unlock and open the door.
"Bike's a lot the first time," he says. "You okay?"
I nod, but that isn't true either. Even so, I step inside and head straight to my room. "I'll be quick," I call down the stairs.
"Sure," he calls back.
In my room, I find my new duffel, the one Mal bought me. I unzip it and stuff it with clothes. How long will we be in San Francisco? And what the hell do you wear to go visit your not quite a boyfriend's mom at the hospital after she ODed on recreational drugs? There must be something appropriate for this occasion.
I add a little of everything—jeans and a t-shirt, leggings and sweaters, a cute dress, a classy dress, a formal enough for a wedding dress, tights, boots, sandals, sneakers, slacks and a blazer. The duffel is ready to burst but it does hold a week's worth of clothes. I should thank Mal later. It's a useful gift.
I roll it out of my room and make my way down the hall. Kit is in front of the couch, pacing as he listens to something on his phone. Then he's done listening, and he's staring at his phone. I can't make out his expression, but I can feel his hurt. It's making the air heavy.
Shit. I need toothpaste, makeup, sunscreen. I head to the bathroom and stuff the necessary toiletries into one of the side pockets.
There.
I'm packed.
I grab the shoulder strap, bring the duffel downstairs, and leave it in the foyer.
Kit's eyes meet mine. I can make out his expression now. He's still frustrated, still hurting, but there's something else there.
Now, I'm sure I'm losing some part of him.
"Did you get the flights?" I smooth my dress. "Or did you want to take my car. It just had a tune up. And there shouldn't be any traffic at this time."
"Piper."
No. That remorseful tone of his voice means bad news.
I open my mouth to speak but words refuse to fall.
He slides his hand into his pocket. "You shouldn't come."
"Don't you want me there?"
His eyes scream yes but his lips stay shut.
I take a step forwards.
He moves backwards instantly, like it's a reflex.
"If you don't want me there, say that." My exhale is heavy. "Just tell me the truth."
"It's not that."
"Then what?"
His eyes go to the floor. "When my dad said those words, 'your mom is in the ER, she ODed,' I felt like I was going to fall into pieces so tiny no one would ever be able to put them together again. I still do."
"You won't." I won't let him.
He looks up at me. His expression is remorseful but his voice is even, confident. "My mom... this has been an inevitability for ever. And I'm not different. One day, it will be me in that hospital. And I don't want your heart breaking when you hear that message."
"Kit."
He shakes his head. "I've been kidding myself. This is what happens to people like us. I can't do that to you."
"But—"
"I can't take away your spark, Piper." He swallows hard. "I'm sorry, but this is how it has to be." He moves closer. He pulls me into his arms and plants a goodbye kiss on my lips.
I'm not sure how I know it's goodbye, but I do.
When he releases me, he goes straight to the door.
Then he's gone.
Chapter 32
Kit
I barely make it to the airport in time for the last LAX to SFO flight.
This close to midnight, security isn't bad. Or maybe it's that I don't have luggage. Even so, I get into my seat minutes before final boarding call.
I'm not at all aware of my surroundings. My thoughts are stuck on Piper, on the pain that filled her gorgeous blue eyes, like her heart was breaking in front of me.
God, how I want her here.
How I wish she was in the seat next to mine.
But the hurt on her face was nothing compared to what it would be, one day.
At least the guy sitting here, some suit typing away on his laptop, isn't trying to make conversation.
I'm in a daze all through take off. Slowly, the realization settles in.
Piper isn't mine anymore.
I can't hold her anymore.
Can't make her laugh anymore.
Can't make her come anymore.
The thought guts me, but I know it's what's right. For both of us.
Chapter 33
Piper
I manage to drag myself to the shower. I manage to wash up, dry off, get into my pajamas, and collapse in bed.
I'm tired, but it's not the kind of tired that encourages sleep. Every part of me hurts. And, worse, I keep thinking about how much Kit must hurt.
He's alone with everything.
Maybe I'm pathetic or desperate. Maybe I should hate him for ending things so abruptly. Maybe I really am a naive nice girl who doesn't realize how awful the world is.
But what I really want right now, is to do something to help ease this burden off his shoulders.
I hurt for him more than I hurt for me.
Minutes pass. Hours maybe. It's enough time for me to come to terms with my level of... whatever I should call this. The guy dumps me and I'm lying here hoping he's okay.
It's late, really late, when the front door opens. There are footsteps, the strong steady footsteps that can only belong to Mal (Ethan is more bouncy).
He stops in the hallway, in front of my half-open door. "I've been calling."
"My phone is downstairs."
"I saw that." He moves into the room. The yellow lights from the hall cast highlights around him. "What happened?"
I sit up and wipe my eyes. "Kit... his mom ODed. He went to go to her. She's at a hospital
in the bay."
Mal flips the light on.
I cringe.
He drops his poker face, his eyes filling with concern. "You've been crying."
"He didn't want me to come." I grab my closest pillow and squeeze tightly. "He ended things."
"Fuck, Piper. I'm sorry." Mal leans in to hug me. "You want to be alone?"
I shake my head.
"You want Violet to come?"
I nod. That's exactly what I want. Mal really is a mind reader.
He pulls out his cell, taps a few buttons on the screen, and holds the phone to his ear. "How soon can you get here?" There's a voice on the other end then Mal replies. "Piper needs your help... Yeah, I'm sure." He hangs up the phone and turns to me. "Ethan and Violet will be here in half an hour."
"Oh." That means I have to tell Ethan. Shit.
He offers his hand. "Come on. I'll put on some coffee and an episode of Gossip Girl."
Violet rushes right to the couch. She plants on the cushion next to mine and wraps her arms around me.
She leans in to whisper. "You want to talk about this alone?"
Hiding this from Ethan forever is tempting, but I want to talk to him too. As annoying and overbearing as my brothers can be, I love them and I need their support right now.
"No," I whisper back.
"You'll have to tell him."
"I know."
She pulls back with a supportive smile. "If you want to be alone, that's okay too."
I shake my head.
She claps her hands together. "Okay. Good. We brought pho."
"It's the middle of the night," I say.
"Ethan found a place open 24 hours." She motions for Ethan to come here.
"No, I'll go to the counter." I force myself off the couch. "Less mess."
"Okay." Violet follows me to the kitchen counter.
One by one, we take our seats. Ethan empties the take out bags. The containers take up almost all the counter space.
Ethan hands me a spoon and chopsticks. And the bottle of sriracha. "What happened, Piper?"
God, they left their party and rushed to get me takeout without even knowing what it was that was wrong. It's possible Violet guessed and convinced Ethan it was important. Even so, that's a lot of love and support.
I have all this...
And Kit has nothing.
God, I'm feeling sorry for him again. And it's not even true. Kit has Mal, Ethan, and Joel. And he has me. And Violet. Maybe it's not the same, but it's a lot.
Dangerous Crush: A Rock Star Romance (Dangerous Noise Book 2) Page 23
