by Jackie Wang
While I absent-mindedly whisked eggs, Mandie turned to me and whispered, “You’re so pale, Maggie. Are you well?”
I shook my head. “You know that friend I thought I saw earlier?”
“No way,” Mandie said, jaw dropping. “You’re friends with one of the hottest bachelors in London? How did that happen?”
“Hottest bachelor?”
Mandie gasped. “Yeah. Daily Xpress’s ‘London’s Hottest Bachelors Under 40’ article. He’s like number six. Quite the catch. Didn’t you know?”
I didn’t know. And I didn’t care. I had had my chance, and I’d blown it. Besides, I came here for school, not to get involved with this celebrity or whatever he was here in the UK.
“We’re not really friends,” I explained. “More like old acquaintances. We met in the States.”
“I didn’t know you were rich,” Mandie said.
“I’m not. In fact, just the opposite.”
“Well then, how did you get acquainted with one of the wealthiest men in the UK?”
“My family owns a hotel. It was on its last legs, and Roman saved it.”
“You’re on first name basis with him?” Maggie teased. Then, she thought for a moment. “Oh yeah, I did hear about that one. He does these charity projects all over the world. The perfect man, really. I’m going to his event this afternoon. You know, with the inn down the street? I’ve no idea why he’s still single. Must be really picky when it comes to women. I hope he isn’t gay.”
Trust me, Mandie, he isn’t gay.
Before I could say more, Closette snapped her fingers at us and gave us a stern warning. “Focus, ladies.”
Three hours and countless dirty dishes later, I presented my fifth batch of creme brûlées to Closette for inspection. She picked one up, cracked it with her spoon, sniffed it and took a small bite. Her lips pursed, but then they drew into a small, slanted smile. “Not bad. I think I’ll let Roman try it.” She gave me an extremely awkward smile, and I just knew, right then and there, that Roman had told her about me.
“I’m sure someone else has made a better one,” I said. “He probably wouldn’t like—”
“Nonsense. He’ll love this one,” Closette assured me.
How dare he. I didn’t even want to see him again, much less have him interfere with my learning. I didn’t want Closette to treat me differently. In fact, I preferred her better when she was throwing my food into the trash can. I respected her brutal honesty. Now she wore this stupid, almost scary looking smile, and that made me feel uneasy. Why couldn’t Roman have just left me alone? Why did he come here?
As promised, Roman returned just as class was drawing to a close. Closette saw him and brought him straight to my station, where she presented him with one of my golden creme brûlées. It wasn’t perfect, but I was proud of how it turned out.
Roman cracked the caramelized surface and brought my dessert up to his nose. “Smells heavenly,” he said, looking at me beneath hooded eyes. “Good job.”
Were his lashes always so long? And his gaze, so electrifying?
“Thank you,” I squeaked out. I wiped my sweaty palms on my dirty apron and shifted my weight from one foot to the other. This, whatever he was doing, was killing me. I had to put an end to it.
Roman dipped his spoon into the ceramic ramekin, scooped up a generous spoonful, and then brought it to his mouth. As I watched his soft lips wrap around the shiny spoon, I began to sweat.
Why was I so nervous?
I didn’t dare look away either because I was almost certain everyone in the class was looking at me. Or him, rather.
This was so embarrassing.
After swallowing, Roman licked his lips and said, “It tastes…sinful. Absolutely delicious. Well done, Maggie.” He picked up a paper napkin and wiped his mouth. Then he flashed me a smile that nearly melted my panties clean off. I remembered the taste of his lips, and my blood roared.
Shit, I was in big trouble.
And just like that, I felt as if the past twelve months had done nothing to lessen my attraction toward him. In fact, my chest swelled with longing. I hated the goosebumps that prickled my nape. I hated the delicious chill that wrapped around my spine. But I forced myself to retain professional composure. “Thank you very much, Mr. Finnegan.”
“Keep up the good work,” Roman said, before turning back to Closette. “Now, tell me about Macarons et Moi…” The two disappeared into Closette’s back office.
I swallowed hard and reached for my thermos. Unscrewing the lid, I swallowed two large mouthfuls of lukewarm green tea. I felt like a college senior who’d just passed a rigorous final exam.
“What the hell was that?” one of the ladies in the second row asked. “Do you two know each other or something?”
I suddenly felt the heat of twenty pairs of eyes coming down on me. No, don’t stare. Go back to your stations! Nothing to see here!
“We’ve met…” I said. “But I hardly know him.”
“What’s he like?” Missy Noecker asked.
“Where did you two meet?” Nancy wanted to know.
Mandie chimed in. “What kinds of pastries does he like? I want to send some over to his new inn.”
And so the questions began. Before I could take a proper breath, all the women flocked toward me and began pelting me with their unrelenting word vomit. I became instantly popular, thanks to my association with Roman Finnegan. Great.
“Please, I…like I said, I barely even know him,” I stammered, holding my hands up in surrender. “Honestly, I don’t have anything to say.”
“Whatever, then. Don’t tell us. We’ll probably read about it in the news tomorrow or something.” The women gradually lost interest and returned to their stations for clean-up. No one said another word.
Until Roman reappeared from Closette’s office, walked right back up to my station and said, “Let me give you a lift home, Maggie.” His eyes were trained on my lips, his chest, inches from mine, slowly rising and falling. His voice was the softest caress. Warm, even. I was melting, fast.
After all this time, Roman still had power over me.
And I wanted him to overpower my everything.
Our reunion felt nothing like the emotionless goodbyes we’d exchanged one year ago.
Hope sprouted in my chest, its roots curling around my heart.
Everyone trained their beady hawk eyes back on me as Roman grabbed my hand and led me outside.
Shit, what did I get myself into?
Chapter 35
“Did you have to embarrass me like that in front of the whole class?” I asked once we were outside. It’d begun to snow, so I slipped a hat over my messy hair. Tiny white snowflakes dotted my strawberry blond hair like icing sugar. I hoisted my purse higher on my shoulder and began walking.
Roman was still holding my shaky hands. I shrugged him off and reached into my purse for some gloves. The temperature difference made my teeth chatter. I needed to get away from him, asap.
“Embarrass? How did I embarrass you?” Roman asked, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets.
“Well, apparently, you’re some sort of celebrity here. And everyone was asking questions about you.”
“Just ignore them.” Roman shrugged. He took a careful step toward me, and I took a step back until I was teetering on the edge of the sidewalk. I temporarily lost my balance, and Roman gripped my elbow. “Careful. There’s a dreadful-looking puddle behind you,” he said, pulling me close.
“You didn’t have to thrust me into the limelight.”
“They’ll forget about it by next week.” Roman walked up to a silver Bentley and opened the passenger door for me.
“This is your car?” I asked, blinking hard. The vehicle’s chassis was sleek and screamed luxury.
Roman nodded. “One of them.”
I stumbled back, my purse straps leaving indents in my palms. “Roman, I can’t be doing this right now. I didn’t come to London to find you. I came here for school. This—you—I just can�
�t.”
I tripped over my words, and Roman just stood there, watching me. A tiny smile dawned on his thin lips. Then, he bridged the short distance between us and exhaled slowly, his breath cotton puffs against the bleak sky. “Maggie, I’ve been thinking about you every single day since I left the island,” Roman said. “No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get your face out of my head. And then I run into you here.”
“A coincidence, nothing more.”
“You knew I was friends with Madame Bellatrice Laurie. I told you about her last year.”
“And?”
“And Closette is Laurie’s twin sister. They’re both dear friends of mine.”
“So? I didn’t know that when I signed up.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Roman said. “What matters is, you’re here now, in the UK. And I believe you owe me some answers.”
“I…Roman…But—”
“No buts.” Roman gestured to a plush leather seat. “Now get in. It’s freezing.”
I slid into the passenger seat and Roman slammed the door shut.
This was not happening. The past fifteen minutes felt like a surreal dream.
I scanned the interior of the car. It was sophisticated and immaculate; nothing like my run-down Subaru Forester back home. From the gear shift to the dashboard, to the analog dials, everything oozed subtle extravagance. I became self-conscious and worried that my grease-stained clothing would ruin the upholstery.
After buckling in our seat belts, Roman turned to me and asked, “Where to?”
I told him the address for the boys’ day camp.
As Roman wound down the streets of central London, past Westminster Abbey and toward Fulham, I fidgeted with the pink cardboard box containing the six best creme brûlées I’d made that day. After a while, I half-whispered, “Roman, I hurt you. I’m so sorry that things ended the way they did. I was so stupid. Why are you—”
“You made mistakes. But that comes with being a human.” He stared straight at the road, his expression, unreadable.
“I made unforgivable mistakes.”
“Did your family forgive you?”
I nodded.
“So the mistakes were forgivable, then.”
“I meant the mistakes I made with you.”
“Did you ever find Tina and Rhodes?” Roman asked, avoiding my previous statement.
I shook my head. “Even when we got the local police involved, they put up minimal effort, and abandoned the case within two months.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Roman said. “What about Carl? Were you involved with him?”
Question of the hour.
I shook my head again. “I shouldn’t have believed Carl’s lies. I…clearly I didn’t learn my lesson the first time around. I screwed up. Big time.”
“Are things over between you and him?” Roman asked, gripping the steering wheel hard. “This is important.”
“What we had ended more than ten years ago. Last year, there was nothing going on between us. I swear. I…I thought loaning him money would motivate him to visit Greg more. Spend more time with his son. I was hoping they’d bond or something. But I was wrong. He took my money and left without a word.” I wiped away a stray tear, sat up, and continued, “I…last year…I was terrified of change. I was too scared to leave behind my family and my hometown to be with you. I was a coward and led you to believe that I cared about Carl more than you. It wasn’t true. I just—I didn’t deserve you. My actions spiraled out of control, and I didn’t know how to fix anything. I was lost.”
“I wish we never ended things the way we did, Maggie.”
I wish we didn’t either. “You were so right about Carl. I was just too stupid to listen to you. I don’t expect you to forgive me.”
“I forgive you, Maggie,” Roman said after a few minutes. His words washed over me like a storm after a drought. “You broke my heart last winter. Left me confused and tortured for months. I was so angry with you. I just—I wish we hadn’t lost all this time. I wish you’d called me or explained things from your point of view sooner. I wish we never had all these misunderstandings.”
“I wish too…You have every right to hate me, Roman. You were nothing but nice to me…we had something beautiful. Precious. I destroyed it.”
“I don’t hate you, Maggie,” Roman said, reaching over to stroke my chin. “How could I ever hate you? I was just confused. But I’m not any longer.”
“You’re not?”
Roman shook his head. “Let’s start over, Maggie. You’re in London now. Let’s turn over a new leaf. Today is a new day.”
“You’re going to forgive me? Just like that?” I asked, blowing my nose into a tissue. It seemed too good to be true. All this time, I was convinced my actions were unforgiveable. Yet there he was, saying the words I thought he’d never say.
“It may take a little while for me to completely trust you with my heart again. But I’ve lost you once. I won’t lose you again. I want you back in my life. How long are you in town for?”
I sucked in a sharp breath and exhaled slowly. “Just until January fourth.”
“That doesn’t give us much time.”
“No…it doesn’t.” What would happen when it came time for us to say goodbye again?
“Why London?”
“My parents, actually,” I said. “They paid for the whole thing. Maybe they wanted, or at least my mom hoped, we’d bump into one another.”
“Well, it worked. I’ll have to give them a ring and personally thank them.” Roman reached over and brushed his thumb against the back of my hand. Even this tiny gesture made me squirm in my seat.
“Roman, you don’t have to be nice to me. I betrayed your kindness, and you have no reason to trust me again.”
Roman stopped at a red light and turned to face me. I watched him watch me, and felt my cheeks flame. We stared at each other for what felt like an eternity.
“Maggie, you don’t understand,” he said. His face looked happy and sad at the same time; a beautiful paradox.
“Understand what?”
“How crazy I am about you. Do you know how hard it was to stop myself from calling Crescent Hill just to hear your voice? How difficult it was to stay away from the island? I couldn’t even travel to the west coast for fear I’d give in and stop by Penderton on the way home.”
Roman’s confession chipped at the defensive wall I’d built around my heart. His words unraveled me, one syllable at a time.
“Why didn’t you then? Stop by, I mean.” I bit my lower lip, tension creasing my brow. Why didn’t he call? Why didn’t we resolve our differences?
“The thought of you, Carl and the boys being a happy family again…that possibility was a dagger to the heart. I couldn’t risk that. And I didn’t know if you wanted to ever see me again. I was scared of rejection.”
I almost wanted to laugh. How could he ever think Carl would want to be part of my family? Or that I’d ever take him back? “Of course I wanted to see you again. Last winter was the longest one I’d ever had. As soon as I realized my stupidity, I’d wanted to fly to London and explain myself. But then the boys got the flu, and Mom and Dad needed help after business began picking up. We needed to train new staff and…well, life happened.”
Life happened.
Roman’s right hand reached over and rested on my knee. His warmth sent a tingle along my thigh. I wish he didn’t have the ability to give me any tingles.
“It doesn’t matter now,” he whispered. “None of that matters. All I care about is the fact that you’re here now. With the boys. With me. It’s a Christmas miracle.”
Was it a miracle, though? Or a disaster waiting to happen?
Roman parked the car, and I unclipped my seatbelt. “Thanks for the ride. I guess I’ll…see you around?”
“Seriously, Maggie?”
“Hm?”
Roman leaned in, cupped my frozen cheeks, and let his lips graze mine. They tickled, like feathers.
I gasped.
His eyes widened, then grew hooded again.
Well, that was unexpected.
His fingers toyed with a strand of my hair, and I flinched. “Wh-what are you—”
“I’ve missed you so much. You have no idea, Magnolia Summers.” He leaned in and kissed me properly this time, his lips finding no resistance from mine. His mouth was hot, hungry, and possessed mine like no other.
All the emotions I’d bottled up for the past twelve months flooded through me. All the tears, all the self-loathing, the regret, the guilt, and the shame. I pulled away, biting my lower lip, which was tingling, as if on fire. “Stop, Roman.”
What was he doing, and why was he doing it? We’d just spent the last twelve months apart, not a single word exchanged between us, and now he was kissing me? What if I didn’t want to be kissed?
Roman squeezed my hand. “Did you really think I was just going to drop you off here, and then leave?”
“Yes?” I said, lips quirking up into an awkward smile. “At least, that’d be the normal thing to do.”
“What we have is far from normal, wouldn’t you agree?” Roman unlocked the door. “Go get the boys. I’m taking you three out for dinner.”
“Don’t you have work…?”
“I’m done for today. The rest can wait. Greg and Jason cannot.”
Chapter 36
“You won’t believe who I ran into today,” I said to Greg as I zipped up his coat.
“Who? Gordon Ramsay? Chris Martin? David Bowie? That guy with the talk show?” Jason asked. He was struggling with his buttons, dry paint crusted all over his small hands.
“David Bowie’s dead, stupid,” Greg said, rolling his eyes.
“Stop it boys. Roman. I saw Roman Finnegan today.” I bit my lower lip, wondering how they’d respond to the news. Hopefully, well.
“No way,” Jason cried, adjusting his Styrofoam reindeer nose and cardboard antlers. “Where is he? I want to see him.”
“He’s…outside actually. He wants to take us to dinner.”
“You said yes, right, Mom? Please tell me you said yes.” Jason tugged at my sleeve and gave me his best puppy face. He’d always liked Roman, even more than Greg.
