by Meghan March
But it wasn’t the funeral director. It was a woman I’d never seen before. She was around my age and dressed in a neat black suit.
My mother stood as she entered. “Eleanor, could you give us some privacy?”
I rose and looked from the woman to my mother. What in the world? But my mother didn’t offer any explanation, and I was still reeling from her confession about Doc Monroe. I made my way out of the dining room and headed for the kitchen. Margaux was retying her apron when I entered. There was nothing I could do about the doc at the moment, but I could find out who had just arrived.
“Who was that?” I asked Margaux. If she didn’t know, then no one would.
Margaux turned to the stove without answering. After she flicked on the control to light the burner under a frying pan that was apparently waiting on her return, she cracked three eggs into it and dashed them with salt and pepper. I waited, semi-patiently, for her answer.
“That was things getting right with the world.”
“What does that mean?” I asked. Because seriously—what the hell did that mean?
“I know you and your mama haven’t seen eye-to-eye in a long time, but things have been tougher for her than you know.”
“I think I know a little about that.”
“Well, that meetin’ this morning proves your mama is a strong woman, and ready to admit she has a problem that needs taking care of.”
My mind spun. “Wait. Do you mean … just freaking tell me who that chick was.”
Margaux grabbed a spatula and checked the eggs before flipping them for over-easy perfection. Finally, she turned to me.
“We both know the drinking has been out of hand. And I’ve done what I can to try to keep her from doing any permanent damage … but Lord, child, you didn’t have to live with that man. I’d be finding the bottom of every bottle I could if he’d treated me the way he’d treated your mama.”
I’d seen plenty. He’d been a complete and utter asshole every time I’d met him. But had he been worse in private? I’d assumed, but had never really known. But, assholes rarely improved in close quarters. Now, I wondered what I’d missed.
“What are you talking about?”
“Treated her like she had no mind of her own. The early days were the worst. It didn’t take long for him to break her. Every word that came out of his mouth crushed her into smaller pieces. There wasn’t nothin’ she could do right, and he let her know at every opportunity.”
“But—”
“But we deal with our demons in different ways. We’ve all got chains to break free from; some might just be prettier than others.” She nodded toward the doorway. “This right here is your mama breaking free. First thing she told me when I helped her out of bed this morning was that she’d be checking herself into a facility to get some help as soon as the funeral was over. She said she’s let that man ruin her life for long enough, and it was time to take it back.”
No freaking way.
“Are you serious?”
“Serious as a heart attack. And you better be supportive, child. This isn’t easy for her to face.”
“I’m definitely supportive. I mean, I’d planned to try to talk her into it myself. I had a place lined up and everything.”
Margaux’s smile was slow as molasses, but once it got moving, it was brilliant.
“Good. Glad you’re on your mama’s side. Seeing you at odds for all these years has been hard on ol’ Margaux. Can’t tell you how many nights your mama’s rambled to me about how she ruined your life and hers.”
“What do you mean?”
“Just that you got whiplash from how fast she married Denton, but she didn’t know what else to do. No education, no skills, a whole hell of a lot of debt, and college to pay for. Your mama made the only choice she knew how to make at the time. She was worried you’d have to drop out of that fancy school, and you’d be as bad off as her. She didn’t want that for you. She wanted you to go on and do better.”
Guilt multiplied inside me. I’d had no idea she’d felt that way, or had been worried about paying for college. “I thought my trust paid for all my college stuff. The money was there.”
Margaux shook her head. “It wasn’t written right. The lawyers said she couldn’t use a dime of it, even for your schoolin’. It was completely locked up until you turned twenty-one.”
And there was enough money that I’d never even bothered to check what had or hadn’t been spent before I gained control.
“I had no idea,” I whispered.
“It’s easy to judge what you think to be the truth. So often it’s a helluva lot more twisted than you realize.”
I didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know what to feel. All the resentment, hurt, and anger I’d bottled up for years—that I’d been working on pushing away just recently—began to fade.
Heels clicked in the hallway, and voices carried. My mother was showing her guest to the door, and the funeral director would be here next. We had a funeral to plan, and I had over a decade’s worth of assumptions to right.
When the front door closed, I met my mother in the foyer. The words were clawing up my throat, and there was no keeping them in.
“I—I didn’t know. I thought … I always thought you’d married Denton because of the money, but not because … of me.”
My mother just looked at me for a few moments. “I did what I had to do.”
“But—”
“I haven’t always been the best mother, but there were some things I wasn’t willing to sacrifice. Your future was one of them.”
Her words stunned me. I opened my mouth to speak, but she continued.
“You were already destroyed by your daddy dying. I knew I was going to lose everything to the debts. Every last piece of the life you’d known was going to be gone. You might’ve been eighteen, but you were still a child in so many ways. My little girl had lost her daddy, the most important man in her life, and I didn’t want every familiar thing to be stripped away all at once. You’d worked so hard to get into that school—and your father had been so proud of you. I couldn’t let either of you down by making you leave it and start over somewhere else. I was bound and determined to find a way … and then I met Denton.”
She smoothed her hair in what I recognized as a nervous gesture.
“Mama, you don’t have to explain—”
“Let me get it all out, Eleanor.”
I shut my mouth.
“Denton wanted a society wife. Someone who could raise his cachet and take him from being an ambulance chaser to the top. He had the money, and I had the pedigree. He offered me a bargain I couldn’t refuse: to settle all the debts and pay for your college and all I had to do was make the right introductions—and sell my soul to the Devil himself.” She grasped my hand. “But there’s nothing I wouldn’t have done for you to have a chance at making a strong future for yourself. A future where you’d never have to rely on a man to see you through. A future where you’d never be as vulnerable as I was.”
The understanding that had started to crystallize in the kitchen snapped into place. “And I went out of my way to waste it.” I thought about my string of less than prestigious jobs and how I’d thrown them constantly in my mother and Denton’s faces. “You wanted me to be something … to do better … and I’ve been wasting it.” Shame worked through me, and my tears began to fall.
“You were a stubborn one. Always have been.”
“I’m so sorry, Mama. I’m so, so sorry.”
She opened her arms, and I did something I hadn’t done in over a decade: I threw myself into them. She hugged me close like she had when I’d been a little girl. Again I repeated, “I’m so sorry, Mama.” Hindsight was not only twenty-twenty—it carried a machete to hack through your emotions.
“You’re not the only one who’s sorry here. I owe you an apology, too. I’ve been carrying my own resentment for a long time.”
“Because I acted like a spoiled child and wasted the sacrific
e you made.”
My mother pulled away and met my eyes. “We all make our own choices. You chose your path for your reasons, and I chose mine. And part of the path I chose was not a good one. I’m … I’m an alcoholic. That’s my demon to battle, and it’s time I faced it.”
I squeezed her against me again. “I’m sorry. I feel like—”
“Don’t you dare say that my problems are your fault. I’m a grown woman, and I can accept now that I let my problem control my life rather than putting myself in the driver’s seat. So, after the funeral, I’ll be going away for a month. From what Martine explained, there’s going to be plenty of time for forgiveness in that process. Knowing that we’re taking the first step right now is going to make this easier as we move forward. It’s time to let the past go so we can both have the futures we deserve.”
I lost track of time as we stood in the foyer, holding on to each other, and recovering a piece of what had been lost and damaged through years of misunderstandings and miscommunications. So much time lost because we’d never told each other how we felt. My mother was right—it was time to let the past go and focus on the future.
Lord didn’t return for several hours, and he’d answered my text message with only: Things got complicated. Will tell you when I get home.
As soon as I heard his heavy, distinctive footsteps, I ran from the library where I’d been sorting out the catering menu. He glanced up just as I threw myself into his arms.
“Goddamn, you feel good.” He breathed in the scent of my hair and squeezed me to the edge of bone-crushing.
“I love you,” I blurted.
Lord’s head jerked up, and his eyes met mine. “You don’t know how bad I needed to hear that right now. I love you too, Elle. So goddamn much.” He crushed me to his chest, and I clung.
There, in his arms, the rest of my shattered pieces melded together into something stronger than before they’d been broken.
When Lord finally set me on my feet, he lifted a hand and trailed a finger down my cheek.
“You’ve been crying.”
Clearly my makeup repair job hadn’t been as good as I’d thought.
“Yeah. My mama and I … we worked some stuff out.”
His features softened. “That’s good to hear. Really good. You talked about rehab?”
“She’d already made the call. She’s going after the funeral. Which is tomorrow, by the way. She just wants to put that bastard in a tomb and move on. Her words, but I think they’re appropriate.”
“That’s good too.” The smile on his face didn’t reach his eyes.
“What’s wrong? Were there more cars stolen?”
“No. Just the one.” He gripped the back of his neck with both hands and stared at the ceiling.
“And Mathieu?”
Lord stared down at me, and the pain in his eyes pierced me.
I stepped toward him and wrapped my arms around him once again.
“How bad is it?” I whispered.
“Really fucking bad.”
His hands settled on my shoulders, and I looked up at him.
“Mathieu’s dead.”
My heart clenched painfully.
“From the accident?”
Lord shook his head, his throat working as he swallowed. “From Hennessy’s bullet.”
I lifted my hand to my mouth. “Oh my God. What happened?”
Lord told me everything—or at least everything he was willing to share. The despair and guilt in his eyes as he told the story tore my heart to shreds.
I reached up to smooth the lines creasing his forehead. “You didn’t do this. You are not responsible for Mathieu’s actions. He made those choices of his own free will.”
Lord wrapped his hand around my wrist. “But he would’ve never been in this position if it wasn’t for me.”
“Us,” I reminded him. “He targeted Jiminy and Denton because of me. He would’ve never done that because of you. So if you’re going to shoulder the blame for this, then I’m going to carry more than half of it.”
Lord slid my hand closer to his lips and pressed a kiss to my palm. When he lowered it, he didn’t let go. “No—there’s no way this is your fault. That’s perfectly clear.”
“Then it’s perfectly clear it isn’t your fault either.” I mimicked his move and lifted his hand to my lips and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. “And I’ll keep reminding you of that fact. We choose our own path. You could’ve taken a different one, and so could I. But … there was something missing in Mathieu. Because what he did, it’s not something you could’ve stopped.”
It was several long moments, but finally, he replied, “I know, logically, but it’s gonna take me some time to believe it.” He squeezed my hand. “So, what now?”
That was a good question, and I only had one answer I could give. “We let go, and we move forward.”
Lord stood beside me as we watched the car take my mother away to rehab. He stood by me today in the same way he’d stood by me all week—as my rock. And I’d like to think I’d done the same for him. Dealing with the aftermath of Mathieu’s and Denton’s deaths had put us into new territory. We’d forged through together, coming out stronger on the other side. I’d held him as he’d broken down after we’d had Mathieu interred. He was a man who could carry all of my burdens and never stumble, and I’d taken on the weight of his too.
Lord laced his fingers through mine and pulled me against him.
“What do you say about getting out of town for a few days?”
“I’d say that sounds amazing, but what about Chains?”
The shop hadn’t yet reopened.
“I was good with keeping it closed a little longer, but Con offered his services. He’s going to cover for a few days so we can get a break.”
I smiled. “Okay.”
“Good. That saves me from having to kidnap you.”
I pressed a finger to my lips and pretended to reconsider. “On second thought, I think this is a terrible idea. I probably need to be kidnapped.”
Lord ducked and wrapped an arm around my waist and picked me up and over his shoulder.
“Not a problem. Packed your bag already anyway.”
I tried to swing my head around to look at him, but it was impossible from my position.
“You what?”
“I wasn’t taking no for answer. The kidnapping part wasn’t really a joke.”
I burst into laughter, and the sound made me feel lighter and more alive than I had in days. “I knew there was yet another reason I love you.”
His response was to land his palm on my ass with a smack.
“What was that for?”
“Because you love that too.”
Lord lowered me to the ground beside the ’Cuda and opened the door.
“In you go.”
Instead of getting in the car, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his face down to mine.
“Kiss me first, pawn star.”
When his lips met mine, I put everything I felt for him into the kiss. When I finally pulled away, he looked down at me.
“Best decision I ever made was to hire you.”
“Only because I made you.”
He smiled and pushed a wild strand of hair out of my face. “Then I guess it was the best decision I ever made not to fire you.”
“Not to correct you, but I didn’t let you do that either,” I said, my lips turning up into a grin.
“Stubborn woman. How the hell did I get so lucky?”
“Maybe it’s that voodoo magic sprinkled across the doorway of Chains … but I like to think it’s because my daddy brought us together. That watch of his sent me to you, so I guess I’ve got both him and my mama to thank.”
“That explanation works just fine for me. Now let’s get out of here.”
I glanced down at the passenger seat and back to Lord. “How about I drive?”
His lips quirked into a small smile, and he pulled the keys from his pocket and dropped
them into my hand. “I’d only give up the keys for you, sweet thing. Any damn time you want.”
I closed my fingers around the keys as he led me around to the driver’s side and opened the door.
I slid behind the wheel and waited for him to climb into the passenger seat.
I grinned at the rumble of the Hemi as I turned the key.
“Next time, we’re taking Eleanor,” I said.
“It’s a deal,” Lord replied.
I shifted into reverse and wrapped both hands around the wheel—ready to conquer the world and anything the future had to offer with the man beside me.
“What the hell is he doing here?” Elle whispered-yelled at me over the laughing and general raucous of the party going on around us. She took a step to the side for a better view, and I slid my arm around her to keep her from unexpectedly taking a dip in Lake Pontchartrain.
“Whoa, sweet thing. You’re about to run out of dock,” I murmured into her ear.
She looked down at her feet and shifted even closer to me as she realized the edge was only inches away.
“Shit. That was close.”
I tightened my grip on her. “I’d never let you fall. You know I’ve got you. Always.”
Elle sighed and pressed her hand to my chest. “When you say stuff like that, you make me want to climb you. Which is a problem, because I’m not one for audiences.”
I dropped my other hand to cup her ass. “I think we’re going to be leaving sooner than I’d planned.”
She wriggled out of my hold—this time staying away from the edge of the dock—until she could see through the crowd again. “We can’t go yet. And for sure not until I figure out why the hell Lucas Fucking Titan is here. Who would’ve invited that asshole?”
I finally followed her stare through the bodies to where a tall, dark-haired man stood. “Vanessa invited him,” I told her.
Elle’s eyes darted up to mine. “Why?”
I raised my eyebrows. “Did you forget this is a fundraiser? And he’s probably got the deepest pockets in town?”
Tonight was our first annual Beers for Boxing event. Basically, we got people all boozed up on the samples donated and served by a dozen craft breweries from around the State of Louisiana and held a live auction. With Vanessa’s connections—and Elle’s—the guest list was pretty damn impressive. We were hoping we’d make enough tonight to start expanding our boxing program. My confidence had been rocked by Mathieu’s actions and death, and I’d pulled away from the boys. Con had given me my space, but I could tell it had bothered the hell out of him. But a little soul-searching—and several come to Jesus talks from Elle—went a long way. I finally believed what she’d said to me: It wasn’t something I could’ve stopped. We all made our own choices. Mathieu had made his, and I was making mine.
