by SJ West
“Well, if you ever need any more brilliant ideas, I’m usually full of them,” I joke.
Unexpectedly, Anna gives me a hug. When she pulls away, she says, “Don’t sell yourself short like that, Jules. You were chosen to help Ethan rule this planet, and I’m not talking about being chosen by me. God had a hand in it too. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go tell my husband your brilliant idea and ask him why he didn’t think of it first.”
“Good luck with that,” I joke, as she walks away to find Malcolm.
“Where is Anna rushing off to?” Verati asks me as she hands me a cup of fruit punch. “I wanted to ask her something.”
“I unloaded my brilliance on her, and she needed to go tell her husband I beat him to a good idea first.”
Verati laughs. “I’m sure Malcolm will appreciate that. What did you tell her?”
“I told her she should lower her cloud city so the people in the down-world don’t feel so separated from her.”
“Oh, that was a good suggestion, Jules,” Verati agrees. “I’ve never quite understood why they have those large cities floating in the air. They’re quite menacing when you look up at them from the ground.”
“Speaking of menacing,” I say, finding this as good a segue as any into a subject I’ve been meaning to discuss with Zane’s wife, “how does Keelan like his school? What are the children there like?”
“He seems to like it just fine,” she tells me. “Zane mentioned that you and Ethan are thinking about sending Cal there next semester. I know Keelan would love for that to happen since the two of them have grown so close.”
“Does Keelan get along well with the other kids?” I ask.
“School is just like the world, only smaller,” she tells me. “There are children that he likes better than others, but he’s never mentioned anyone acting unkind toward him. I assume you’re worried that Cal will get picked on because of his wings.”
“That’s exactly what I’m worried about,” I say, taking a swig of my fruit punch but wishing it was spiked with something a little bit stronger to take the edge off my fears. “He’s never had to deal with negativity before, and I’m not sure I’m ready to change his world so drastically.”
“I know what you mean,” she says sympathetically. “I was afraid Keelan would lose some of his innocence being around strange kids at preschool, but then I realized I can’t keep him hidden away from the world forever. There comes a time when even children need to learn how to cope with the way other people see and think about them. Considering how young they are, I think it might be better if Cal is exposed to other kids now instead of later on. Odds are he’ll be going to school with this same group of children for many years to come. If they get to know him at this age, his wings may simply become a normal thing to them as they grow up together. If you wait until he’s older, Cal will definitely stick out and draw their attention, which isn’t usually a good thing.”
“You make some excellent points,” I say, allowing her words to sink in for a moment. “I guess I’m also worried some of the other children might take advantage of his good heart. He’s so trusting and loving, Verati. I mean, I know most parents like to think that way about their kids, but in Cal’s case, it’s God’s honest truth.”
“Then I think you need to let him find out that not everyone in the universe is good,” she advises. “You’ve kept him sheltered in this castle, Jules. All he’s ever been surrounded by are people who think the sun rises and sets just for him. Let him start to find his own way in the world and discover the good along with the bad. It’s better if he learns that now with children his own age than later when he’s an adult and can get into real trouble by placing his trust in the wrong person.”
Verati and I have often spoken about Cal’s heritage and how strange it is that he hasn’t shown any signs of having supernatural powers. In my mind, it’s only a matter of time before his mother’s genetic code surfaces. What he inherited from Helena has yet to be seen, but I fear I’ll see it one day soon.
“I thought this was supposed to be a party,” Ethan says as he and Zane walk over to us. “What could the two of you possibly be talking about to make you both look so serious?”
“Sending Cal to school,” I answer. I decide a partial truth is better than a partial lie. I don’t want to project my worries onto Ethan. He’s the one who’s been urging me to let go of Cal just a touch, but I won’t apologize for finding that a hard thing to do. I think all parents want to see their children grow, but when your child has a mother like Helena, you have to wonder if you’re protecting your kid from others or protecting others from him.
“And what’s the verdict?” Ethan asks expectantly.
“As long as he wants to go, I’ll be fine with sending him,” I say. “Well, maybe ‘fine’ isn’t the best way to put it, but I’ll learn how to deal with it.”
Ethan places a comforting arm around my waist. “He’ll be fine, Jules. I promise.”
“You can’t promise me something like that,” I tell him. “But I know I have to let him spread his wings and find his own way.”
Ethan smiles at the phrase I chose. “At least he can’t fly away yet.”
“Does that fact seem odd to anyone else?” Zane asks. “I thought for sure he would be fluttering around the castle by now.”
“Maybe they’re just for decoration,” Verati suggests.
“I don’t think so,” I say, watching my son laugh as he runs away from Lucas, who is the designated “it” in their game of chase. “I think they serve a purpose. He just hasn’t figured out how to use them yet.”
Desmond theorized that Cal’s body was unconsciously designed by Helena while he grew inside her womb. In her mind, Cal is the embodiment of the best parts of Cade and of her. I’m not sure how the wings fit into that ideal, but I can’t imagine my son without them. They’re a part of him that seem to be connected to his soul. I can always tell what kind of mood he’s in by the posture of his wings. They make him stand out in a crowd, but I don’t necessarily consider that a bad thing.
He’s the most unique little boy in the universe, and the fact that I get to call him my son fills me with both joy and pride. My only hope is that I raise him to be as proud of himself as I am of who he is becoming.
Chapter 4
(Liana’s Point of View)
I love cake. I would stay in my room all day and just eat cake if my mommy and daddy would let me, but they’re always pestering me to go outside and play with Liam. I don’t know why I have to be my brother’s keeper. Just because I was born a few minutes before he was shouldn’t mean I have to look after him all the time. Besides, it’s not like we’re not constantly inside each other’s heads. Sometimes I wish we couldn’t talk to one another with our minds. I really hate knowing what he’s thinking all the time. Boys are stupid. All my brother thinks about is eating and playing games.
I love coming to Laed-i to see Cal and his parents. Besides going to see my Aunt Helena, this is the only time I get to leave Cirrus. Cal’s mom always has the best sweets at his birthday parties too, and sugary treats are my weakness. Thankfully, she lets the cooks in Cirrus make the cakes though because the flour they use on Laed-i taste weird. I don’t know why exactly, and I’m not sure I want to know.
Since Lucas is busy chasing Liam and Cal around the other side of the ballroom, I decide to sneak a cupcake with pink icing and glittery sprinkles from a food tray. I quickly duck underneath the white tableclothed table I’m supposed to be sitting at later with my family. I stare at my stolen prize and begin to wonder if Aunt Helena likes cupcakes too. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her eat, but I’m pretty sure she does. I saw an ugly, sort of heart-shaped cookie that looked burnt sitting on a nightstand in her bedroom once. I almost ate it, but she caught me before I could and yelled at me to go home. I ended up crying myself to sleep that night I was so upset, and I still don’t understand why she got so mad at me. When I looked at the nightstand again the next
time I visited her, the cookie was gone. She probably ended up having it for a late-night snack or something. Come to think of it, that might be why she got so mad at me for almost eating it. I’m not really sure, and I didn’t dare ask her about it. I don’t like it when my aunt is mad, especially with me. She’s definitely not so nice when she’s angry.
Unexpectedly, Cal dashes underneath the table to hide. He looks surprised to see me but also happy.
“Hey, Liana,” he whispers to me, “whatcha got there?”
“Nothing …” I say while hiding the cupcake behind my back.
“I don’t care if you eat one of the cupcakes,” he tells me. “You’re my guest. You can have anything you want!”
I bring the cupcake back out from behind my back and tell him, “I was about to phase back home and hide it in my room. I think my Aunt Helena would really like it.”
“Aunt Helena?” Cal asks, looking confused. “Who is she?”
“My mommy’s sister,” I say, wondering why he doesn’t know about my aunt. “She’s trapped inside Hell. I’m not even sure she’s ever had a cupcake before.”
“She’s in Hell?” Cal asks, looking surprised by this revelation. “Does that mean she’s a bad person?”
“I’m not sure,” I say with a small shrug. “I guess I never really thought about why she’s there.”
“How come you can go to Hell?” he asks, looking curious about my trips there. “Can you go to Heaven too?”
“Maybe,” I say with another shrug. “My mommy goes there when she needs to talk to God. I might be able to go there too one day, but I don’t think I’m old enough just yet.”
“That’s kinda weird,” Cal says, looking confused.
“What’s weird?”
“That you’re old enough to go to Hell but not to Heaven. Sounds weird to me.”
“I guess,” I say hesitantly, never having thought about it before. “I’ve been going to visit my Aunt Helena since I was a baby though, at least that’s what my mommy told me.”
“Does that mean you’re a bad person?”
“No, silly. I’m just part angel. If you’re part angel, you can go to places like Hell, if you want to.”
“Well, how come I can’t go there?” Cal asks.
“Because you can’t phase like me and Liam can,” I say.
“Yeah,” Cal says as his head lowers slightly in disappointment. “All I got were these stupid wings. Maybe if I lived on Earth, I wouldn’t feel so out of place there.”
“What’s living on Earth got to do with that?”
Cal looks confused by my question. “Don’t you know why?”
“If I did, I wouldn’t have asked,” I say in exasperation.
“Haven’t you seen other kids on Earth with wings like mine?”
“No. Who told you we do?”
“My folks did. They tell everyone here that only the most special children on Earth are born with wings like mine. Are you sure you’ve never seen anyone there like me?”
“You’re the only kid I’ve ever seen with wings,” I tell him truthfully. “But I don’t get out much. There might be some in the down-world because I’ve never been there. My parents don’t let us leave the castle.”
“Oh,” Cal replies with a nod of his head in understanding. “Yeah, that’s probably why you haven’t seen any.”
“Don’t you like your wings? I think they make you look cool. I wish I had a pair on my back too.”
“I’d give you mine if I could,” he tells me, looking dejected.
“Why would you want to do something that boneheaded?” I have to ask.
“They scare people,” he whispers. “The servants here look at me oddly when I pass them in the hallway. I don’t think they mean to, but they can’t help themselves. If I was a normal boy, they wouldn’t stare at me so much.”
“Let them stare,” I advise him. “You should be proud of your wings because they make you unique. Why would you want to be like everyone else when you can be special?”
Cal’s wings spread out from his back. “You don’t think they’re ugly?”
“If I did, I’d tell you.”
Cal smiles, and it makes me feel good to make him happy on his birthday.
“One of the kitchen servants brought his son here once, and he said they make me look like a bird.”
“Then that boy was stupid,” I say definitively. “Or he needs to go to school and learn what birds really look like. You shouldn’t pay attention to what other people say about you. My Aunt Helena told me that people like to be mean because it makes them feel better about themselves.”
“How does making someone else feel bad make them feel good?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. You’d have to ask a grown-up about that.”
“Liana!”
“Stop yelling at me, Liam!” I reply back to my brother crossly. “You’re gonna give me a headache screaming inside my head like that.”
“Where’s Cal? His mom is looking for him.”
“You better go,” I tell Cal. “Your mom is trying to find you.”
Cal tilts his head and squints his eyes at me. “Did you just do that weird thing with your brother again?”
“It’s not weird,” I defend myself. “It’s just normal for us. Trust me, if I could stop him from talking inside my head, I would. All he thinks about is eating and playing games.”
“Well, what else is there at our age?” Cal asks, looking baffled by my complaint about my brother.
“Just go,” I say, shooing him away with a wave of my free hand. “I don’t want my parents to find me because of you.”
“Oh, all right,” Cal says reluctantly as he crawls out from our hiding place.
Before anyone starts looking for me, I phase to my bedroom back in Cirrus and hide the cupcake I brought back in a drawer of my nightstand.
“And what are you planning to do with that, Lillianna?”
I slam the drawer shut and spin around guiltily to face God.
“Um,” I say, hoping to buy myself some time to come up with a good answer for stealing the cupcake. Though, I guess I didn’t really steal it since Cal said I could have it. “I’m saving it for someone.”
God arches His left eyebrow at me, silently letting me know that He expects a better answer from me than the one I just gave.
“I’m planning to give it to my Aunt Helena,” I finally confess.
God smiles at me and nods His head approvingly. “I think she would like that very much. It was thoughtful of you to think of her today.”
“Then you’re not mad at me?” I ask.
“Why would I be mad at you, Lillianna? You’re thinking of someone else before yourself. That’s a noble thing to do, especially for someone your age.”
“How come you always call me Lillianna?” I ask Him.
“Well, that’s your name, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, but you’re the only one who ever calls me that. My daddy told me it was too much for him to say all the time, and that’s why he shortened it to Liana.”
“I prefer to call you Lillianna because it reminds me of the beginning and the end,” He tells me.
“The end of what?”
“Everything.”
“Why would you want everything to end?”
“Sometimes you need for things to end in order to have a new beginning.”
“A new beginning of what?”
“Everything.”
“My daddy was right about you,” I say, feeling aggravated with God’s replies. “You never answer a question right.”
God laughs, which makes me laugh too, even though I’m not sure what I’m laughing about. It just seems natural to laugh with Him.
“Your father has always been a wise man,” God tells me. “You should always listen to the advice he and your mother give you.”
“I do.”
“Good.” God looks at me like He wants to say something else. Finally, He does. “Lillianna, why don’t yo
u go give that cupcake to your aunt now instead of later?”
“Because she won’t let me into Hell today,” I say, wondering why I have to explain that to God. Shouldn’t He already know everything?
“I could help you go there if you really want to,” He offers. “I think she needs you more than she realizes, especially today.”
“Are you sure it won’t make her angry?” I ask. “I made her angry once, and I don’t want to do it again.”
“If she gets angry, tell her …” He begins but pauses as He thinks about what He wants me to say to my aunt. “Tell her I opened the way for you to be with her, and that if she wants to be mad at someone, it should be me, not you.”
“She might end up being mad at both of us,” I predict.
“Perhaps,” God replies, “but I don’t think so. Sometimes people try to shut out the ones they care about most because they think they can handle their sorrow all by themselves.”
“Is that what happens on this day?” I ask. “Does Aunt Helena become really sad?”
“Yes,” He answers. “She lost someone she loved very much on this day, and it causes her heart to hurt so badly that she pushes you and your mother away so you don’t have to see her so upset.”
“But she should want us to help her,” I reason.
“She should,” God agrees. “And that’s why I’m offering to help you go to her, if you want.”
I turn around, open the drawer, and pull the cupcake out of it. When I turn back around, I lift my head a notch higher.
“Take me to her,” I tell God. “She shouldn’t be alone today.”
God smiles and walks over to me. As He places one of His hands on my right shoulder, He says, “I can’t go with you this time, but one day soon, I hope Helena will welcome Me inside her home.”
“But you’re God,” I point out. “Can’t you go anywhere you want to?”
“Yes … and no. You see, Hell is your Aunt Helena’s home, and I try not to go anywhere that I’m not welcomed unless I deem it absolutely necessary.”
“Why wouldn’t she want you there?”
