by SJ West
“What are we doing here?” I ask Liam, even more confused by his willingness to go against our parents’ orders to never phase to the down-world together.
“I have to show you something,” he says as he lets go of my arm to walk over to the front of Jered’s desk. He picks up a picture frame and stares down at the photograph inside it. “I thought so.”
“You thought what?” I ask in exasperation.
Liam turns to face me and then proceeds to turn the picture frame in his hands around so I can see the black-and-white photograph it holds. I hear myself gasp in surprise when I see Silas’s face smiling back at me.
“I knew I’d seen him somewhere else before,” Liam says to me. “He’s Jered’s son, Liana. The one he’s been searching for. We have to tell him where he is!”
I immediately shake my head. “No.”
“Liana …”
“I said no, Liam!” I snap.
I see my brother’s face harden into a stubborn expression, and I know he’ll go tell Jered with or without my permission. I think fast to buy myself some time.
“Listen,” I say, “every time Jered gets close to finding his son’s location, he disappears, right?”
“Yes,” Liam says, sounding wary of where my question is leading our conversation.
“Then let me have tonight to convince Silas to meet with Jered,” I bargain. “You know as well as I do that if Jered goes there to confront his son, Silas will just walk away. Give me a chance to talk to him first. Otherwise, Jered will miss another opportunity. This helps me too, Liam. If he really is Jered’s son, Mom and Dad might not get so upset with me for going to the down-world and lying to them about it. Just give me one night. That’s all I ask.”
I know Liam is wavering between giving me what I want and going to find Jered to tell him what he knows about Silas.
“I’ll give you tonight,” he finally says, “but I’m telling Jered in the morning no matter what. Okay?”
“That’s fine,” I agree. “All I need is one night.”
Liam looks down at Silas’s photo. “I almost didn’t remember this picture was here. Jered hasn’t mentioned Silas in years. I think he’s still looking for him, but he hasn’t said anything to me about it.”
“I don’t think I would have ever made the connection,” I say honestly. “Is that the only picture he has of him? I’ve never seen it before.”
“I haven’t noticed any other pictures of his son, and I’ve only been in this office once before,” Liam tells me. “Jered brought me here to grab something off his desk during one of our practice sessions. When I asked him who this is in the picture, he told me it is his son, Silas.”
“I guess I should have remembered the name,” I confess, “but I’m still not sure I would have made the connection. It’s not like Silas is an uncommon name for men here in the down-world. I think he’s the fifth one I’ve ever met in my life.”
“If I hadn’t seen this picture, I wouldn’t have known it was him either,” Liam says. “But now that we know who he is, I feel like I owe it to Jered to tell him you found his son.”
“More like ran into him by chance,” I correct him.
“But was it chance?” Liam asks, looking dubious that me meeting Silas on the surface was just by happenstance.
“What are you implying?” I ask, not liking Liam’s insinuation.
“Jered told me once that Silas helped Helena in her schemes against Mom and Dad. What if he’s still working for her?”
“You’re grasping at straws,” I scoff, even though I can see the logic in what my brother has just pointed out. The fact is I simply don’t want to believe Silas is using me as a pawn in some larger game my Aunt Helena is playing against my mother.
“Just keep it in mind when you talk to him, Liana. I don’t want to see you get hurt,” he says sincerely. “I can already tell you’ve developed feelings for him. I just don’t want him to break your heart.”
“Don’t worry, little brother, I can take care of myself,” I assure him. “Can I borrow that photograph so he can’t try to convince me he’s not Jered’s son?”
“I guess it would be all right,” Liam says hesitantly. “Just remember to bring it back here when you’re through with it.”
“I will,” I promise.
Right after Liam hands me the picture, I phase to the barn where Silas promised to meet me.
Silas might be a liar, but at least he’s one that keeps his word. Just as promised, he’s sitting in the middle of the barn waiting for me. The interior is being lit by an old-fashioned lantern set in front of him, which also seems to be keeping him warm. As soon as I phase in, he stands to his feet and greets me with a smile that almost disarms me of my anger.
“You’re a liar,” I accuse him, holding my ground and not bothering to hide my rage.
The happy smile on his face slips as a look of confusion quickly replaces it. I lift the picture of him I just took from his father’s office and face it toward him so he can see himself in the age-worn photograph.
“I know who you are, so don’t try to deny it,” I tell him. “What is it that you really want from me?”
Silas’s face loses all expression as he stands there and stares at me like he’s made out of stone.
“If you don’t say something soon, I’ll go find Jered and tell him exactly where you are,” I threaten.
“And I’ll travel to a place where neither of you can ever find me again,” Silas counters.
“I sort of figured you would say that,” I reply, lowering the picture frame to my side. “Then spill. What are you up to? Why did you strike up this thing happening between us?”
Silas slowly begins to smile again. “And what thing would that be, Princess?”
“If I have to explain it, then it must be a one-sided thing going on,” I reply testily.
“It’s anything but one-sided,” he tells me, suddenly looking troubled. “If anything, I didn’t expect to like you so much. You’re not what I expected.”
“And what exactly were you presuming I would be like?” I ask out of curiosity.
“I assumed you would be a spoiled brat who felt entitled to anything she wants,” he answers. “But you’re not. You’re actually funny, considerate, generous, feisty, and surprisingly easy to talk to. It would have been better for me if you’d been an entitled snob.”
“I wasn’t raised to treat people any differently just because they’re less fortunate than I am,” I tell him. “Now, I need to know who sent you. Was it my Aunt Helena? I heard that you used to do a lot of work for her back in the day.”
“I was sent here by Abaddon to learn what I could about you,” he confesses. “He wanted me to find out how much your parents know about the resistance down here.”
“I suppose all that talk you did against the resistance was a lie then? Are you telling me you’re actually working with those terrorists?”
“I don’t actively do anything with them,” he’s quick to reply. “Actually, this is the first time Abaddon has asked me to help him.”
“And I’m just supposed to believe you?” I scoff. “Your track record for telling the truth isn’t exactly stellar so far.”
“You can believe me or not. That’s your choice,” he says with a shrug of his shoulders. “I can’t make you accept my word. All I can tell you is that this thing, as you call it, between us is the first time in a long while that I’ve actually felt something genuine for another person, and believe me, I wasn’t looking to get this tangled up with you. It … complicates matters for me because now all I want to do is protect you from Abaddon.”
For one of the many times in my life, I wish I had inherited my mother’s ability to tell a truth from a lie. I want to believe Silas, but how can I when he was sent here to spy for the enemy?
“Does he plan to hurt me?” I ask.
“I don’t know what he has planned. All I know is what I just told you. He doesn’t exactly keep me in the loop of his di
abolical schemes.”
“Do you know if he’s working with my Aunt Helena?”
“All I know is that he goes to Hell occasionally, but the frequency of his trips there has lessened over the years. I don’t know if he and your aunt have had a falling out of some sort or something worse. I’m not one of his confidants. In fact, the only other person I know he talks to on a regular basis is Levi, or Emperor Solarin in Nimbo, whichever name you call him.”
“Do you know why he’s been talking to Levi?” I ask.
Silas smiles at me. “Who’s playing spy now?”
“I think you owe me, don’t you?” I retort, not giving in an inch to his charm.
His smile vanishes, and he tells me, “I don’t know what they talk about. Levi isn’t one of my favorite people, to tell you the truth. He was one of the more sadistic torturers in Hell.”
Unwanted images of Silas being tortured by Levi flash through my mind, instantly making me feel sorry for leading his thoughts to that time in his life. Or is it death? I’m not really sure. Either way, I’m positive it wasn’t pleasant for him.
“Why do you hate your father so much?” I ask him. “He seems to love you just as much as you dislike him. He’s been looking for you all my life.”
“I know.”
Silas’s features return to that of a stone statue. His face is like a blank slate, showing zero expression. It’s almost like the subject of his father has made him completely shut off his emotions.
“Do you blame him for the way your life turned out?” I ask, continuing to prod him for more information.
“He is to blame.”
“You have free will,” I remind Silas. “You could have chosen to disobey him at any time.”
Finally, his stony façade cracks as he laughs harshly.
“Wow, your head really is up in the clouds, Princess. Maybe you’ve been spending too much time in that floating city of yours, Liana, because if you think I had a choice in how I turned out or what I did, you’re deluding yourself.”
“Are you saying Jered controlled your mind in some way?”
“Disobedience from any Watcher child led straight to painful retribution from his father. You may see my dad as some fun-loving guy who would do anything to protect your family, but he wasn’t always like that. While I knew him, he was a sadistic monster, Liana. That’s who raised me. A monster.”
“I can’t imagine Jered ever being like that,” I state, truly not being able to fathom Jered ever being so evil.
“Are you calling me a liar?” he asks heatedly.
“I’m just saying, maybe you’re remembering it wrong,” I defend myself. “You’re right. The Jered I grew up with isn’t the man you just described. Even if he was the way you say, he isn’t like that anymore. Doesn’t he deserve a chance to apologize to you? Can’t you give him an opportunity to make things right?”
“No. I can’t,” Silas says in frustration. “I hate that man with every fiber of my being, and there’s nothing you or him can do to change that fact.” Silas reaches down and snatches the lantern off the floor. “I can’t believe I wasted so much time sitting here waiting for you today. Having a huge argument with you wasn’t what I had planned for us.”
Silas begins to walk toward the door, but he has to pass by me to get to it. I reach out and grab the material of his green woolen coat on his right arm to stop him.
“Don’t go,” I beg him.
He yanks his arm out of my grasp, but he doesn’t take another step forward toward the door. He just stands there looking at the floor in front of him and refusing to turn his head in my direction.
“What did you have planned for us?” I question him softly.
Silas inhales deeply and lets the air out slowly as he seems to consider whether or not he wants to answer my question. A few seconds pass as we continue to stand inside the cold barn. It’s only then that I realize I’m freezing, and I begin to shiver uncontrollably. Silas must notice because he sets the lantern in his hand down in front of my feet to provide me with its warmth while he pulls off his coat. I let him drape it over my shoulders because I’m too cold to make a protest, and I’m also assuming he won’t leave the barn without taking it with him.
“Thank you,” I tell him as I slip my arms through the sleeves and turn to face him fully. “Are you going to answer my question?”
“Maybe,” he replies, keeping his expression stoic. “If you answer one for me too.”
“Go ahead,” I say, preparing myself for his query.
“Why didn’t you go directly to my father when you figured out who I am?”
“I wasn’t the one who figured it out, actually. My brother, Liam, did. I talked him into letting me come here first to speak with you before we tell Jered you’re here.”
“How do I know you’re telling me the truth?” he questions. “Are you just stalling to give your brother time to search for my father so he can tell my dad where I am?”
“You have some serious trust issues,” I tell him with a shake of my head. “Like I said, Liam is giving me time to talk you into seeing your father on your own.”
“And what happens if you can’t convince me to talk to him?”
“Either way Liam will tell Jered that we saw you here, but he’s giving me one night to convince you to see your dad and hear him out.”
“Why are you giving me a choice? It’s obvious you think I should talk to my dad. You could have ambushed me by bringing him with you.”
“I’m sure that would have been a pleasant experience,” I say, unable to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. “We’re hoping you’ll come around on your own. Jered isn’t the person you remember, Silas. You should give him a chance to explain himself.”
“Oh, trust me, he’s said plenty to me the few times I’ve stuck around to listen to him. I have no desire to hear how he’s a better person now and how I helped him see the light.”
“How did you help him ‘see the light’?” I have to ask. Even though I know Jered has turned his life around, I don’t actually know why he chose to become a better person.
“He’s the reason I died. I guess after I was gone, he had some sort of revelation about just what a bastard he was to me. Kudos to him! That really didn’t do me any good. I was being tortured for hundreds of years in Hell while he was finding himself out here in the living world.”
His wording brings up a good question. “How are you alive now?”
“When you go to the afterlife, you get a new body,” he explains. “Haven’t you been to Heaven yet? Isn’t that like one of your family’s special powers that you inherited from Lilith?”
“I haven’t gone there yet,” I tell him.
“Really? That’s surprising. I thought you would have traveled there when you were younger to visit your grandparents.”
I shrug my shoulders. “My mother has offered to go there with me to meet them, but I haven’t taken her up on it yet. She says it’s uncomfortable to be there because the living don’t belong in Heaven.”
“Still, it seems strange to have the ability to enter paradise but choose not to go.”
“There’s plenty here on Earth to see,” I reply. An awkward silence follows, and I decide to return to my original question.
“You still haven’t told me what you had planned for us to do when I returned here tonight. What would we have done if I hadn’t confronted you with who you really are?”
“I was sort of hoping we could act like any normal young couple and go out somewhere,” he tells me.
“Anywhere in particular?”
“There’s a bakery that just opened up in Stanton that makes these little donut type things called beignets. I’ve been going there every night after work and buying some with the money I earn at the mine. They’re really good. I thought you might like them. Or do you have someone in Cirrus who makes them?”
“We have bakeries that sell pastries, but I don’t think I’ve ever had a beignet before. Where is this b
akery?”
“The only place that has shops in town: Main Street.”
I reach down in front of us and lift the lantern. I push the button on the side of the holder and the flame extinguishes, dowsing us both in total darkness. After I set the lantern back on the floor, I reach over, grab Silas’s arm, and phase us to Main Street before he has a chance to protest.
Chapter 16
At this time of night, there aren’t a lot of people walking around on the streets of Stanton. I tilt my head up to look at the bright, full moon and the sight of it brings a question to my mind.
“Do you still transform at night?” I ask him. “Or does the curse even apply to you now that you’ve already died once?”
“It still applies,” he tells me. “Helena wanted me to keep that part of myself to remind me of who I am.”
“Why would she do that?”
“Does it really matter?” he asks. “It doesn’t bother me to transform. If I didn’t, I’m not sure I would feel like myself. It’s just something that I’ve always done because it’s a part of who I am.”
“Why are you still in human form then?” I ask. “I thought the curse took effect right after sundown.”
“I can hold it off for a while,” he replies. “Some of us learned how to do that so we could have a life at night too and not just during the day.”
“So where is this bakery you mentioned?” I ask, looking up and down the street to see if I can spot it on my own.
“Why are we here?” Silas suddenly asks me.
I look back at him feeling slightly confused by his question. “I thought you wanted to go get beignets.”
“Let me rephrase that,” he says, crossing his arms in front of his chest in a defensive pose. “Why are you still here with me?”
“I’m here because I want to be,” I answer truthfully. “I would like to know if what we’re feeling is just physical attraction or if it’s something deeper.”
“You and I can’t have a future,” he flat-out states. “My life isn’t really my own, and even if it were, you should be with someone who isn’t as screwed up as me.”
