by Paul Kater
believe me, and found none." Zelda fortified her chair.
William sensed that there was some tension building and sat ready to act, unsure what kind of action would be called for.
"So what's with the roof just now? And the building over there sinking?"
Zelda looked displeased. "Must be a fault in its construction. I was working on an innocent little spell when the whole thing sunk into the ground."
William grinned, earning an angry look from Zelda. Fearlessly he looked her in the eye. "You were working on something with gravity."
"You can't know that!" Zelda said, too quickly and too loudly.
Now it was Hilda's turn to frown, but she would ask William how he had known that later.
"And the roof was just a welcome to you two," Zelda replied to the other part of Hilda's question.
William did not believe her. The witch had first messed with something, sinking a whole building into the basement, and then, he was convinced, she had tried something else. Lifting the building up again or so. And doing a botch job on that. He kept his ideas to himself though. No need to provoke Zelda more, she was worked up enough from what he could tell.
"I hope we'll find a way to have a fair fight," Hilda said. "We can't allow you to wreck this world."
"You have no choice, darling," said Zelda. "I don't fight fair."
"We noticed," William commented. He thought back to the Nobbleback dragons they'd had to get rid of. The same beasts that had given Zelda her head start into this world.
"Thank you." Zelda seriously seemed to appreciate William's comment, taking it as praise in a distorted way.
Hilda got up and made her chair vanish. "I think we had a really nice talk, Griselda. We'll fight again."
William got up as well, leaving his chair where it was.
"Yes, just go away, you two. And leave me in peace. Go back to the other world, where things are simple and easy, will you? Stay out of my hair and I won't attempt very hard to kill you." Zelda looked up at them, very self-assured.
The magical couple summoned their brooms and got onto them. Hovering a few feet off the ground, Hilda said: "Don't count on that. But then, arithmetic never was your strong point."
Zelda's face grew dark for a long moment.
William sensed that Hilda was about to fly off, through their link. He popped up his wand.
Zelda stared at it. "Isn't that Gerdundula's wand?"
"It was," William confirmed, "now it's mine." He was aware that he could not affect Zelda's fortified chair. He could, however, do something to the ground beneath it. And he did.
As Zelda screamed, falling down a pit with her chair, William said: "Come. Let's go."
Hilda's eyes were pouring out admiration for William as they flew off. As they were going, not in the direction of their shed of course, she said: "You were magnificent with that last action, William. I would never have thought of that. It just is not done."
"What isn't? Dropping her in that hole?"
"Indeed. We were having a witches talk-off, and the people involved in that don't use magic on each other."
"And that is a rule?" William wondered if he had violated something he did not know of.
"Not a rule. But witches just don't do that."
He grinned. "I'm not a witch. I'm a wizard. Maybe that is a valid excuse."
Hilda laughed out loud. "That might be the only excuse. Wizards usually treat all rules with contempt. Uhm. I'm sorry, but that is how it is."
William looked at Hilda. "Oh. That is nice to know..."
23. Theo
"I wish I had known that sooner," said William as he stretched out on the bed. "About wizards breaking all the rules, I mean."
Hilda looked at him, standing next to the bed. "Somehow I think it was good you did not know. What wicked plan is churning around behind your eyes, William?"
"It is not so much a plan yet as an idea," the wizard said as lights blinked in his eyes.
"William?"
"Yes?"
"There were lights blinking in your eyes." Hilda sat down on the bed and leaned over her wizard. "No, no, keep your eyes open and your hands off me. For a short while. I want to see your eyes."
William stared at the witch. Her staring was interesting but it also made him feel awkward, until he recalled the blue and red lights that could appear in Hilda's eyes.
"Think again what you just thought," Hilda ordered.
"Beg your witchy pardon?"
"About the plan that is an idea, or whatever silly phrasing you used to confuse me."
"Oh." He understood, and thought his thoughts again.
"Think harder, wizard," she commanded, but no matter how hard he tried, the lights did not come back. "Maybe I was seeing things..."
"Which would mean there is nothing wrong with your eyes, Hilda."
"You really think so?" Hilda got up and started pacing in the limited space they had in their homely shed. "Just remember that I love you, William, and I don't want you to do something stupid. Crappedy crap, I wish I had not said that about the rules. These things are there for a reason."
William sat up and looked at the witch who usually did not have much going for rules herself. It was obvious that she was very worried about him. Whenever she was worried, he had learnt, she could not sit still. "I know, pretty witch. Now come here, sit next to me and let me tell you something."
"Talk to me while I'm here," she muttered.
"Fine. You should know me well enough by now to know that I would not do anything to put someone in danger. Heck, not even Zelda. So when I think of breaking rules, that is not something you should be fretting about, Hilda."
Hilda stopped her pacing and looked at the man who was sitting on the bed. "Not even Zelda. Suck an elf. Yes. You are such an idiot indeed." For a few moments she was silent. "And that is what I like about you. You sometimes spout nonsense, William, but you're a good man at heart." She walked over and sat down next to him.
William took one of her hands and kissed it. "Glad you know me."
She smiled. "I do. Glad you can talk to me, William. There are too many people who can't. Who don't dare or some such foolishness. It's not like I am going to bite their heads off when they do."
William grinned. "True. You don't need your teeth for that."
"Oh, shush you." She slapped William, ever so lightly. "Even if you're right. Just don't get into any trouble I can't get you out of."
William glanced at his witch and nodded. "Promise."
"Good. Now tell me about the rules you intend to break."
William shrugged. "I'll know them when I meet them."
"Oh no, you are not getting away with that. I want to be prepared for things like that," Hilda said, getting up and looking down at her wizard.
"Then I'll let you know up front. When there's time."
Hilda opened her mouth for a snappy counter, when there was a sound that could have been a knock on the door. She stared at William, who stared back at her.
Again the sound sounded. It was a real knock. On a real door.
"I'm not expecting anyone," Hilda whispered.
"Nor am I," Willia said.
Hilda went to the door and yanked it open. "What?"
There was a young man outside. Actually, older boy fit him better: looking at ads was probably the closest he had come to shaving. He seemed nailed to the ground. "Who are you?"
Hilda grabbed him by the arm, pulled him inside and closed the door. "We're a witch and a wizard. And who are you?"
The involuntary guest failed to respond. His eyes jumped from witch to wizard and then back. "They told me this place was deserted," he finally managed to put out.
"They? And who are you? What do you want here?" William asked as he got up. His dark blue wizard outfit made the boy stagger backwards until the door ended his amazement-induced retreat.
"You shouldn't be here," the boy uttered, still not making much sense
.
Hilda and William seriously doubted the reasons for the boy to be here.
"Listen, either you tell us who you are, or we'll help you a bit," William said. He was tall enough to do some looming over the boy, and magic as well as his attire did the rest.
"Theo," the boy said, trying to avert his eyes from those of William.
"Good boy, Theo," the wizard said.
"Why are you dressed so strangely?" Theo asked.
"This is not strange, boy," Hilda pitched in. "And we ask the questions here. So far one of three has been answered. Why are you here and who are the 'they' you mentioned?"
Theo's hand clutched at his jacket; he appeared confused. "I had to leave something here."
"And 'they' told you to do that, right?" William asked.
Theo nodded violently.
"Calm down, Theo, keep your head on. Come, sit down." William took the boy by the shoulder and steered him to a chair.
Theo remembered how to sit down without being urged to. Hilda sat down on the other chair, and William sat down on the chair he magicked up, scaring Theo so much that the boy almost looked alive.
"So, Theo. You were going to leave something here. For them." William was treated to a set of dumbfounded nods. "Good. I am glad we have communication established."
Theo looked at Hilda. "Are you really a witch?"
"Are you really stupid?" the witch asked in return. "Of course I am."
"Of course I am," Theo repeated, nodding.
Hilda looked at William. "He's weird." She popped up her wand.
Theo jolted, almost falling from his chair. "Wha's that? How did you do that?"
"It's a wand, Theo. Witches and wands come in pairs. Don't you know that?"
"Just in stories," Theo declared, reaching for the wand and getting a slap with it for the attempt. "Ouch."
"Never mess with a witch's wand, young man," the witch warned him. She quickly poked the wand at Theo's cheek and drew it back before the boy realised that he wanted to hit it away.
"Suck an elf, William, there's something wrong with him." Hilda waved her wand. "Very wrong."
William wondered what she had noticed. Hilda knew tricks that he didn't.
"It is as if he is drunk. But then without alcohol," Hilda elaborated.
William began to understand. "You mean he's drugged?"
"Nothing heavy, people. Just a bit of a soother," Theo was helpful.
"He's drugged. We're found out by a drug addict," William sighed. "That's great. Theo, you were going to hide some drugs here, weren't you?"
"Yeah, but I'm not going to tell you," Theo said with a surprising bolt of confidence. "I am on a mission here, and they trust me."
"Of course, Theo," William said as Hilda sat back, amazed at the strange exchange. "We can't have them being angry with you, of course." Calmly he slipped a spell towards Theo, creating an atmosphere of confidentiality, of conspiring friendship around them.
Theo, susceptible to the spell as the drugs were messing with his awareness, nodded as he patted on his jacket. "Right. They're coming for this tonight, so it has to be here."
"Tell you what, Theo," William said. "We'll go away and you can put your package here. Then you have done what you came for."
Theo studied the wizardly face. This sounded so good that the little bit of nagging that was somewhere in the back of his mind was easily overruled. "Yeah, that's a plan."
Hilda shook her head. She did not follow what was going on. William was talking gibberish the way he was able to so well and Theo ate it all up as if it was the best thing since brooms.
William got to his feet. "Hilda, come. We have to leave Theo to his business."
She gave him a funny look but got up and followed William as he walked to the door.
"Theo," said William, his wand working, "we're gone now."
"Right," said Theo. He looked over his shoulder, but thanks to the spell by William he could not see anyone. The drugged boy got up, took a small package from an inside pocket and put it on the table. Again the boy looked around, seeing nobody. He then nodded to himself. "I'm going now, guys," he said in a hushed voice. "They're coming later. When it's dark."
As if he was moving through a snake pit, Theo carefully walked to the door and left the shed.
"Now what was all that about?" Hilda asked after making sure Theo was out of earshot.
William explained to her about drugs, drugdealers and their runners.
"So Theo put a package with that stuff here on the table?" Hilda's eyes were large. "We have to destroy it, William. It is not good." She already had her wand in her hand, as William gently pushed her arm down.
"Wait, hot-head. We should keep it here until the people who are responsible for that material come to collect it. We can take care of them at the same moment."
"But we can do that without that abusive stuff, William!"
"We can, yes, but I have an idea for that." William told her of what he had been thinking of, and Hilda smiled as she understood what William was aiming at.
24. Zed and Ted
Hilda watched as William opened the package that Theo had left on the table, well hidden in plain sight. Inside it were a few small glass containers with liquids that looked like water but definitely weren't. There also was a box with yellow pills.
"I don't think they are lemon flavoured just because they're yellow, right?" the witch asked.
"You're right. I don't know my way around this stuff but it's not something you would use for its taste." William wrapped the package up again. On his request, Hilda made an exact copy of it. The copy however contained vials with real water, and the pills did taste like lemon.
The couple then simply waited for evening to come, as the people who would collect the package would arrive then also. They were not disappointed.
Hilda had changed the shed back a little to its messy appearance. Their things were now behind a fake wall, and they themselves hovered over the roof on their brooms. An hour after darkness had fallen, two people, dressed in black, made their way to the shed. It was clear from their behaviour that they were not eager to be noticed: they moved from shadow to shadow.
Hilda and William calmly watched how the two slowly made their way to the narrow alley that led to the shed. Whispers rose up to them as the two came closer to the door. As the collectors of the package had entered, the magical couple silently descended into the alley as well and simply waited for the two 'guests' to reappear in the open. William already had a small stick in his hand that he could ignite at will, making light to blind the drugs-people.
Inside the house a flashlight moved around. It clearly was very difficult for the intruders to find their precious loot. Some muffled cursing went on after that, which was obviously the result of someone running into something. Hilda grinned.
The door opened again, the two people stepped outside. "Stuff it away, idiot," one of them whispered to the other. "We don't want to get caught with that shit in plain sight."
William ignited the stick. The effect, next to light that was spreading, was highly entertaining. One of the visitors screamed and just dropped to the ground, his hands over his head. The other one staggered back towards the shed, missing the door as the light was working more than miracles. The man clawed along the short wall and then yelled: "I don't know who you are, but I have a gun."
Not in the least impressed, Hilda said: "I have a wand." She popped it into existence, just to be convincing. It missed its effect as the man against the wall was still not seeing much.
As he was huddled into a corner, the man's eyes started making sense of the surroundings. He grabbed into the pocket of his coat and drew a gun from it, waving it around in a rather uncontrolled fashion.
"These things are dangerous, aren't they?" Hilda wanted to make sure, so she asked William.
"They are."
"Right." She flicked her wand at the man with the gun. "Take
n care of that."
The man in the corner, who had taken the time to look at his partner in crime who was still whimpering as he lay on the floor, looked at the two strange people. "Taken care of what?" he asked.
Hilda just smiled and waited for the metal of the gun to become hot enough for the man to notice that as well. He cursed as he shook the burning gun from his fingers, staring at the blisters that were forming on them.
"I think they've had enough now, Hilda," William said.
"I guess," said the witch. "So, boys. How about we go inside and you can explain what you are doing here?"
The 'boy' who had thrown away his gun was not the kind who would jump to the request of a witch. Instead, he made a big leap, in an attempt to throw the two strange people off balance. They would not expect him to try that.
Unfortunately he had not expected the power-wall that William and Hilda had in place between them and the two visitors. The man slammed into the invisible wall and with a more than ordinary expression of surprise on his face he fell down, over his scared companion.
"They don't know a thing here," Hilda sighed. She removed the safety-wall, they picked up the face-down visitors and took them inside.
-=-=-
Zed woke up with a thunder of a headache. He was uncomfortably sitting on a wooden chair, his hands tied behind his back. His head hung down so all he saw were his knees and a floor that looked as if it was made of concrete. Zed slowly raised his head. The throbbing that went on inside there made him careful, something he usually was not.
'What the fuck happened,' he thought to himself, as he saw Ted tied up on another chair
'I am dreaming,' Zed then thought. 'That, or someone fixed me up with a shot of real bad.' He looked at Hilda and William, who were calmly sitting at the table, eating something. The smell of food and coffee were very helpful to Zed in regaining some more consciousness. "Hrrbf", he stated, to his surprise.
Hilda looked at the source of the sound. "Oh. William, it's awake."
"Brrm?" Zed wanted to know. Hilda's spell had glued his lips together. He didn't know that. Actually, there was a lot he did not know yet, but he was about to be enlightened. Hilda style.
William looked over his shoulder. "Oh. Good. We can talk to him later."
"Hvhvm!" Zed showed his displeasure with that comment. He tried to kick Ted, but found out his feet would not move away from the legs of the chair. Another surprise, spelled by Hilda.
Ted looked at his frantically moving friend and shook his head. He had been awake during most of the time and had seen the actions of the strange, grey-haired woman and her silly stick. Oh, wrong. It was hardly a silly stick, considering what it had achieved. "Hggm," Ted told Zed, and sat back, as that was the least uncomfortable way to be.
"Hvvvrrrr!" Zed was not giving up just like that.
William turned around. "Would you mind shutting up for a while? We're having a late night snack, and it tastes better when you stop making these obnoxious sounds."
Hilda waved her wand. "You stop yourself, or we stop you." She hoped the muttering man would not stop, but that hope was destroyed as Zed slumped back into the chair and kept quiet. It had already dawned on him that he could not win this one.
Only a few minutes later, the magical couple turned their full attention to the two people they had caught. Hilda leisurely snipped her fingers, releasing the lips of their
