Why would she do this?
Jonas watched with bated breath as Penny’s ride finished, the horse finally settling after several heart-pounding minutes. The crowd went wild. It was the longest, most action-filled ride so far. There weren’t many riders left.
He couldn’t wait for the other rides. He had to see Penny now.
He needed to see for himself that she was all right. He stood, receiving an angry grunt from the person behind him, and began edging his way over his children, who were riveted to the next rider in the arena.
“I’m going to go,” he coughed, “check on the boys.”
* * *
Penny braced her palms on her wobbly knees as she tried to catch her breath. Oscar and Edgar hopped and hooted around her.
“I think you won!” Edgar cheered.
“She did,” Oscar echoed. “There’s only two more riders and they don’t look so good.”
“Shh.” She shushed them. The last thing she needed was for anyone to recognize that she was female. Or worse, to recognize her. She was half-afraid that her grandfather had seen her face while she’d been in the arena.
“What were you thinking?” A familiar voice hissed.
Penny looked up from her bent position, right into Jonas’s furious face.
“You could’ve been killed!”
The crowd cheered again. One more rider finished. One left.
Jonas grasped her upper arms and pulled her upright, where she couldn’t avoid looking him right in the face.
“Edgar needed me,” she whispered.
“What if you’d fallen—”
The boys’ whooping and hollering interrupted him. Edgar chattered at his father about his ankle getting twisted while Oscar pumped both fists in the air.
“That was the last rider,” Oscar crowed.
Someone shouted that “Edgar” had won the bronc-riding contest. Penny was still caught in Jonas’s intense gaze, but she was pulled away and pushed onto a platform, presented with a heavy, fancy saddle and a wad of cash. She waved to the crowd, everything a blur until she got off that platform and was surrounded by Oscar, Edgar and Jonas once again.
Oscar relieved her of the saddle that tilted her awkwardly to one side.
She shoved the pile of cash at Jonas. “This is for you.”
He recoiled, shaking his head. “You rode. It’s your money.”
“I’m giving it to you.”
His brows furrowed and a look of suspicion crossed his features.
“Take it.” She picked up his broad hand and placed the stack of bills in his palm, forcing his fingers to close over it. “It’s for Breanna. Because I love her.” And I love you, too. A sudden lump in her throat kept the words from emerging. He wouldn’t want to hear them, anyway.
“Whoohoo!” A familiar young voice cheered. Over Jonas’s shoulder, Penny saw the rest of his family approaching.
“I need to go change back into my clothes.”
Penny started to move away from Jonas when a cold hand clamped onto her shoulder. A hulking shadow fell over her.
“I can’t believe what I’ve just seen.”
She knew that angry, terse voice.
“F-Father?” Penny looked up into her father’s furious, purpling face. Standing right behind him was Mr. Abbott, whose weasely features were set in a look of satisfaction.
“Your mother assured me that you would be safe with your grandfather, but this is what I find?”
At the same moment, her grandfather and the boys and Breanna swarmed around them, oblivious to Penny’s turmoil. She could feel Jonas watching her but he made no move to step between her and her father.
“What did you think you were doing? You’ve humiliated yourself in front of all these people—”
“She was helping us. We needed the money for Breanna,” Edgar explained from Penny’s elbow.
Sam and Maxwell stepped closer at the same moment, their shoulders nearly touching, forming a wall of solidarity for her, though they didn’t say anything.
Her father glanced over the gathered group, and Penny saw them as she would have in the beginning: worn but clean clothes, some of the boys’ faces unwashed, a group that didn’t look as if it belonged together.
But now that she knew them, she knew the love that held their family together, the work they’d done together. All because of Jonas and his honor. That was how she wanted her father to see them, but would he listen to her?
“I’m certain you do need the money,” Mr. Abbott said snidely, turning toward Penny’s father and away from the Whites, as if to dismiss them. As if they were beneath his notice.
“Father, the Whites are not only Grandfather’s neighbors, but his friends, and mine as well. They’ve helped Sam and me get Grandfather’s place back in shape.”
“I don’t care what they’ve done; that is not the issue here. The issue is that you have brought shame on your family—”
“Now, George, I don’t think you need to take that tone with the girl—”
“Stay out of this, old man,” her father interrupted her grandfather. “This is not your concern, not after you let my daughter humiliate herself.”
“He didn’t allow Penny to do anything,” Jonas interrupted, taking up for him. The scorn in his voice brought tears to her eyes, though. “She does what she wants.”
Her father turned on him, too. “I’ll thank you to stay out of this. This is not your affair.”
“Father—” Sam started, but quieted when his father sent him a scathing glance.
Mr. Abbott moved closer to Penny, partially blocking her view of Jonas and his family. “Perhaps you should advise your farmhand to stay out of this.” His voice was a near whisper and with his back to the group, Penny doubted anyone else could hear him. She started to move away, but his next words froze her in place. “I would hate for anyone else to get hurt or for any more disasters to befall him or his family.”
An awful suspicion took root. Penny scrutinized his hateful countenance. “You started the fire in Jonas’s fields. And the rest of it.”
He didn’t deny it; an ugly, prideful smile spread across his face. Penny hated him more than ever.
“How could you do such a thing? Father—”
She started to turn to her father, but Abbott’s pinching grip on her forearm caught the words in her throat.
“If you want to ensure nothing else happens to them, you’d better accompany your father and me back to Calvin.”
The soft-spoken threat curdled her stomach. She glanced at her father to see if he’d heard, but he was barking at her grandfather again. She would refuse. Abbott couldn’t force her to go with them, not in such a big crowd.
But then she imagined Breanna, little innocent Breanna, injured at Abbott’s hand, and she couldn’t do it. Couldn’t risk them.
“—believe what you want, Walt, but my daughter is coming home with me this instant.” Her father turned and the thunderous expression on his face almost made Penny cringe.
Her conversation with Jonas flashed through her memory. This was her moment. She loved Jonas and she loved his family. Without a doubt, she loved them. She wanted to tell her father that she was staying.
But one look at Jonas’s closed face and the memory of how he’d turned her away was just as strong.
She wanted to stay, but if she did, would he forgive her for writing to the Broadhursts?
She knew it was impossible to get a moment alone with Jonas, but if she could just see a hint of reassurance in his face. “Jonas—”
The pressure of Abbott’s hand on her elbow increased and she turned to him briefly. “Release me at once,” she ordered.
He did, but when she turned back, Jonas’s face was tilted away.
“Penelope, enough. We’re going home. Sam, come along.”
How could she refuse? If only Jonas would glance at her and she could determine his feelings…
But it was not to be. “I’m sorry,” she said, rounding on her gr
andfather and embracing him tightly. “I’ve got to return with my father.”
Her grandfather’s withered arm came around her. “I’ll miss you, girl.”
With her chin still tucked against her grandfather’s shoulder, she addressed Jonas. “Will you see that he gets home?”
He nodded, expression closed off as if he’d already dismissed her. “I’ll take care of him.”
She knew that he meant for more than just the ride back to her grandfather’s homestead. Jonas would watch out for him.
Just like he did for all those around him—the children, even her.
But no one could get her out of this mess except herself.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jonas took refuge in the barn, pulling the milking stool into Molly’s stall and leaning his head back against the placid animal.
He felt silly hiding from his own children, but he couldn’t bear hearing any more comments about Penny.
“I miss her laugh.”
“She was helpin’ me read.”
“She liked to have fun.”
“She played awful mean tricks on a body!”
“I miss her hugs.” That had been Breanna, accompanied with an overdone sniffle.
With no more haying to do, he’d been stuck inside canning all the vegetables, fruits and berries that were ripening daily. Unable to escape from the kids’ chatter, which happened to be full of reminiscing about Penny.
Problem was, he missed all of those things about her and more. He felt like he had a gaping hole in his chest where his heart had been.
After the barn-raising, Penny had been adamant that Abbott wasn’t courting her, but when the suitor and her father had shown up, she’d barely said anything at all, which wasn’t like the outspoken gal he knew. If she’d wanted to stay with Walt, she would’ve fought harder, wouldn’t she?
Was she even now preparing for a wedding?
The thought created a burn in his gut. He didn’t want to believe she’d marry that man, almost as much as he’d wanted to believe she would consider marrying him. But he’d ruined the chances of courting her when he’d pushed her away after the fire. Hadn’t he?
One niggling doubt kept pressing on him like a headache just behind his eyes that he couldn’t get rid of.
Why had Penny really ridden in the bronc contest? She’d said the money was for Breanna. If he sold the fancy saddle, he could probably get another fifty dollars. It would make up the difference he needed to pay for Breanna’s treatment. Although now…after he’d thought about Penny’s questions mighty hard, he wanted to find out more about the doctor in Cheyenne before he committed to anything. He wouldn’t do anything to endanger his daughter.
His thoughts tracked back to Penny. Had she really ridden in the bronc contest, risked being thrown off, risked her identity being revealed in front of that large crowd, for Breanna’s sake? If so, did it mean that she really loved his daughter?
And if she loved Breanna…could she possibly come to love him?
He wished he knew the answers. Wished he had confidence that she’d meant it when she said she would consider courting him.
The barn door opened and Jonas hunched down even farther next to Molly. Couldn’t he have a few minutes alone to lick his wounds?
But no one called out for him. He didn’t hear any sounds of footsteps on the packed-dirt floor or any stall doors opening as if someone was searching for him.
“We’ve got to do something.” Maxwell’s voice was pitched low, but with most of the horses out to graze, the barn was quiet enough for Jonas to make out his son’s words clearly.
“I know.” That was Oscar. What were the two up to? “We’re all miserable without Penny around. Pa most of all.”
What? How could they tell? Jonas had been doing his best to act normally, even playing games and joking around with the boys after supper most nights. He hadn’t wanted them to know the depths of his sorrow since he’d sent Penny back to Walt’s place the night of the fire.
“I thought for sure she’d come back.” The third voice belonged to Edgar, which surprised Jonas, as he’d been the one most reluctant to let Penny get close. “Maybe that creepy friend of her pa’s kidnapped her or somethin’ and she can’t get loose of him.”
Jonas had a hard time believing anyone could keep Penny against her will. She was strong. Strong enough to gain his entire family’s trust. Strong enough to worm her way into their lives.
“I dunno,” Maxwell replied skeptically. “What if she thinks we don’t want her to come back?”
“Pa don’t seem to be catching on to our hinting about her.”
So that was the purpose of their continued remarks about Penny? To convince him to…what?
“We could write a letter, maybe pretend it’s from Pa, and ask her to come back.”
“What if she does come and asks him about the letter—and he don’t know anything about it?” That was Maxwell. His son that considered every angle carefully before making a choice.
He needed to put a stop to their finagling, though, before they got themselves—and him—in a spot of trouble.
He stood up from his hiding place beside Molly, his head clearing the edge of the stall, and cleared his throat. Loudly.
All three boys jumped and whirled toward him, the guilt on their faces speaking more than words. Jonas let himself out of Molly’s stall and joined them in the open area just inside the barn doors.
“I guess you heard all that.” Oscar was the first to speak, but didn’t look particularly apologetic.
“I heard. What makes you all think I’ve been missing Miss Penny? I’ve been acting happy, haven’t I?”
Edgar answered, “That’s the thing…we can tell you’re fakin’ it.” He shrugged. “We figured if we was missing her then you was prob’ly hurting even worse, since you’re sweet on her and everything.”
Jonas couldn’t deny his feelings for Penny.
“And you thought that if you all talked about her enough I’d do what? Ride down to Calvin and ask her to marry me?”
“That sounds like a good plan, Pa. Better’n ours.” This from Maxwell. Jonas’s usually reserved son said it with dancing eyes.
“You want me to saddle your horse?” Edgar asked, bouncing on his toes.
“You should probably change first. Maybe wear your Sunday suit?” Oscar offered.
Jonas blew out an exasperated breath and sat down on the nearest hay bale. “I’m not going to go to Calvin. And I’m not going to ask Penny to marry me.”
The three boys deflated.
“Why not?” Oscar asked.
Jonas took off his hat and ran his hand through his sweat-matted hair. “She would’ve come back if she wanted to. She’s the kind of person who does what she wants.” Up until her father had come, anyway.
“What if she can’t?” Edgar asked. His earnest expression wasn’t hiding any ulterior motives. He was honestly concerned for Penny.
Jonas shook his head.
“Miss Penny told me not to be afraid. That if I wanted to be a doctor I should try.” Maxwell sat down next to Jonas and stretched his still-casted foot out in front of him. “Are you afraid if you ask, she’ll say no?”
His son’s question hit a little too close to home. Jonas didn’t want his boys to see him as weak, couldn’t admit that he was afraid Penny would find him lacking and leave, just like his parents had.
“She doesn’t belong here,” Jonas insisted against both his sons and the voice in his head that was starting to take their side. “Do you really think someone like her, someone fancy, could be happy on this little homestead?”
Do you think she could really love me?
He couldn’t voice the words, couldn’t give them life.
Oscar shrugged. “She seemed happy enough when she was here before.”
“That was for a few weeks. A little over a month. If we got married—” Just saying the words sucked all the breath from him and he had to start again. “If we got ma
rried, she would be here for good. You know everyone has to pitch in around here. She couldn’t do fancy tea parties or the like.”
“She seemed to like the barn-raising well enough,” Maxwell offered.
“Yeah, she was making friends with all the women. And at church, too,” Edgar said.
“She knows how to drive the wagon now, so if she really needed to visit, she could jaunt off to town,” Oscar said.
They had an argument for everything!
And the voice in Jonas’s head was agreeing with them. Penny had seemed happy here, with them. She’d filled their lives with joy and laughter.
It was Jonas who’d gotten scared and sent her away.
“I need to think this through. Pray about it.” Jonas stood and moved out of the barn. What he needed was a long walk and time to figure things out.
Dear Penelope,
How delightful to hear from you after all these years! You didn’t mention a husband in your letter. Are you still single?
I’ve been married to my dear Mr. Kenneth for these past three years. He has many investments in the railroad and we are blissfully happy together.
It seems a fortuitous coincidence that you came across the situation addressed in your previous letter. I’ve often wondered what happened to the child from so long ago.
And yes, you were correct about my childhood episodes. They abated shortly after my fourteenth birthday.
Do stay in touch.
Millie
Exultant, Penny refolded the letter and slipped it back into the thick cream-colored envelope. In her hands, she held the proof that Breanna didn’t need an expensive and possibly dangerous treatment to correct her epilepsy. Along with the two other letters Penny had obtained from respected physicians, she hoped to put Jonas’s mind at ease. If she could just get back to his homestead.
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