My erratic heart hasn’t calmed since I first saw him minutes ago. His touch speeds up my pulse and I fear the longer I stay near him the foggier my mind becomes. And I need to think clearly if I want to understand what’s happening. I take a few steps back to distance myself from him. “Why did you come?”
Lucas sighs. “To apologize and to thank you.”
“You could’ve waited until I returned.”
“I could’ve, but I didn’t want to. Not for what I need to tell you.”
“I’m listening.”
Lucas unbuttons the top two buttons of his white shirt, then rubs his neck underneath it. “I talked with Raven after you left this morning.”
“I hope she goes to jail.”
“Not if I can help it. I won’t press charges.”
“What? She almost destroyed your life and you want to help her? You must be completely insane!” I shout, but can’t control myself. That’s the most ridiculous thing he could’ve said.
“Not really. She hasn’t worked in a long time. The commercial last night is her first job since we broke up. She blames me for that. She said people lost interest in her without me by her side. No one hires twenty-nine-year old models when the market demands younger models, half that age. When she realized I’ve no intentions of getting back with her, she panicked and came up with the plan to extort me.”
“She must really hate you. Everything she was feeding the media with . . .”
“All just lies.” He shrugs. “With the help of a friend of hers who got ER reports, the police documents, ultrasound photos of the baby, you name it.”
“Where in the world did they find all of that? Did they steal it?”
“No. They bought it from the Internet. Did you know that you can even buy birth certificates online?”
The information Lucas shares with me sounds out of a thriller. My brain hurts, not from the migraine but from how elaborate and to what extent Raven went to, to destroy him.
“Out of curiosity, how did she plan on continuing the charade after you paid her? What did she have in mind, kidnapping a baby? A paternity test would’ve totally blown her lie off.”
“She never intended to give birth. She said as soon as I was travelling again, she would’ve ‘miscarried.’ By the time I would’ve gotten wind of it, she would’ve been released, and at home. She would’ve kept the money for all the damages she encountered because of me.”
I shake my head. “This is just plain crazy. She must be nuts. For all she did she needs to pay, but first she needs to be admitted in a mental institution.”
“I can spend the rest of my life holding grudges or be forgiving in order to be forgiven for the pain I caused you.”
“You can’t change the past.”
“No I can’t, but finding out why she wanted to destroy me was more important than sending her to jail. That, and if I slept with her after the party in New York. That was what broke us up, you and I, and I needed to know. I promised her if she tells the truth, I wouldn’t press charges. I intend to keep my promise.”
“Doesn’t the fake pregnancy prove that you haven’t slept with her?”
“Yes and no. The absence of a real baby doesn’t necessarily clear my name.” Lucas strides to me and grabs my upper arms. “Jane, ever since you and I broke up this is the one thing that ate me up: did I or did I not sleep with her.”
“And?” I’m not sure I want to know the answer. For a month now I thought I knew it, now not anymore. It crushed me then when it was all a lie, but what if they indeed slept together after we became exclusive?
“I didn’t sleep with Raven in New York. But I did make up the whole story about the morning after the party and the photos of us in bed.”
“You haven’t? Then why did you lie about it?” I press on my temples and rub them, the pain hard to take.
“I was protecting you and Ella. The accident opened my eyes and I realized that I should’ve ended everything when the scandal started, keeping you out of it. It was my burden. I needed to deal with it on my own.” Lucas squeezes my shoulders, softening his voice. “Jane, I love you. Not seeing you and Ella almost killed me, but I couldn’t expose you to the madness anymore. The media was out for blood. They could have mine, but not yours and Ella’s.”
Anger and tears shake my voice. “Let me get this straight: you made up that elaborate lie about the morning after the party, the bra and the photos with you and Raven in bed so you can get rid of me? Normal people talk about it, they just don’t fabricate lies.”
“I have my share of mistakes, done a lot of things I’m not proud of, but I kept beating myself up for causing you all the hurt when all you’ve always done was to be by my side, accept me the way I was with good and bad, seeing me for who I was and not giving up on me.”
“I did give up on you.”
“No you didn’t, Jane. I would’ve done the same thing you’ve done if I were in your shoes.” He spreads both arms in the air then drops them. “I gave you no choice. I pushed you away, knowing your moral compass won’t allow you to stay with me if I cheated. But by pushing you away I was able to handle the scandal without worrying you or Ella might get hurt.”
“This was . . . you gave up on us so you can handle it on your own?”
“I didn’t say it was a smart idea, if this is what you want to hear. I regretted lying ever since but the damage was done and I rather had you mad at me than hurt.”
“I was mad and hurt, Lucas! You didn’t spare me anything. And this is your excuse: you wanted to protect us? What’s going to happen next time someone sues you for stupid crap like this or even worse? You’ll break up with me again so you can protect me?”
“That’s unfair of you to say that.”
“I’m unfair?” I yell, not caring the entire hotel might hear us. “How did you figure this one out?”
The green in his eyes sparkles. “Jane, I’ve been with no other woman since you and I began dating. You’re the only one who matters to me. You’re the woman I love and want to spend the rest of my life with. And I know that I’ve no excuse for lying to you, but you can’t let one lie dictate your trust in me. What I’ve done is in the past.”
“And how am I supposed to trust you now, Lucas? How?” I close the distance between us and push a finger at his chest. “We were a team. We were supposed to work together, lean on each other, and support one another. A relationship is not made only of good things and endless happiness. It’s made of—”
“—constant work in progress,” Lucas interrupts me. “You once told me that. And something about,” he squeezes his eyes shut then opens them and continues, “about if people up and go they weren’t in it for the right reason and that the grass is as green as one makes it. We were in France when you told me that and I didn’t get it then. But I do get it now. I screwed up, and I’m sorry.”
I look at Lucas and feel as if I stepped down from a non-stop carousel. Feelings and emotions wash over me, overwhelming, threatening to crush me under their weight. The room becomes suffocating, too small for both of us.
“Don’t come after me.” I rush out of the room, and down the long corridor. I pass by the elevator and slam open the door taking me to the outside stairs. I don’t stop, not even when I’m out in the dark parking lot, but keep running. Tears and thoughts, thoughts and tears—that’s all I have right now aside of a cluttered brain and an aching heart. Running always helps me clear my mind.
Somehow, I’m not sure how I make it into a nearby park and I’d run even more had my flip-flop not broken, and I come to a sudden stop, almost falling flat on my face. I breathe hard, bow to lift my broken shoe, look at it and begin laughing. “I’m such an idiot. Big time idiot.”
It’s been a year since I first met Lucas Oliver. I couldn’t stand him then. I love him now. We didn’t find each other with the ease of other couples. We had to break through walls we hid behind, bonding over similar loss, building up a true friendship, and then falling in love.
Lucas lied to me. As twisted and crazy as his motivation was, he did it ultimately to protect Ella and me. Everything he achieves is because of his hard work and efforts, never asking for help, never expecting anything from anyone. He always puts others above him. For Cameron he was the big brother taking on the responsibility of his absent parents, raising and guiding him into adulthood. Without hesitation, he took care of his ailing mother until the day she died.
How could he ask me to stand by him when he never had anyone do it for him? And am I really without guilt here? Didn’t I use the accident and his alleged cheating to leave him? I used my concern for Ella’s safety as an excuse out when I should’ve first been a hundred percent sure he slept with Raven. No one knew for sure at that point, right?
It takes me longer to return. Barefoot, I keep my eyes on the ground trying to avoid stepping on something that might hurt me.
Inside the hotel, it’s easier to see my steps, although the floor and the carpet gross me out when I think of all the dirt. I’ll need a gallon of bleach to clean myself. Once at my door I realize that I don’t have my keycard. I start for the elevator to go down to the reception but turn around and go knock on Lucas’s door.
I hold my breath for seconds and almost knock a second time when the door swings open. Still dressed in black slacks and a white shirt Lucas looks me over, at first surprise on his face, then he scrunches his eyebrows when he sees me barefoot.
“What happened?”
I show him the flip-flop. “I busted my shoe.”
“Are you hurt?” He steps aside and closes the door after I enter.
“No, just . . .” I’ve this urge to kiss him, his lips parted and inviting. I clear my throat and say, “I . . . um . . . I locked myself out of my room.”
“Oh. I can call the reception for you, or you can use the phone if you like,” he offers and rushes to the nightstand to lift the phone and stretches its receiver toward me.
I follow him until we face each other. The air is clean of the scent of white lilies, but I recognize Lucas’s familiar cologne. Lamps cast soft lights over the room and the bed looks inviting with its crisp covers pushed aside and feather pillows.
“I don’t want to call reception.” I put the receiver down. “It’s been a long day.”
Lucas pushes a hand through my hair, toying with it. “I wish I could keep all the good memories we have and erase the parts where I hurt you. Take back all the stupid things I’ve done and said. I don’t want to lose you, Jane.” He swallows hard a few times. “But I also understand if you can’t forgive me; you don’t owe me anything.”
“But I do. I owe us a second chance. You once told me that they do exist, remember?” I stand on my toes and give in to my need to kiss him. Just a small kiss, I tell myself, but can’t resist and take over his mouth, hugging and discovering his body with a hunger only he could trigger in me.
Lucas responds to my kiss with the same passion. Hot and impatient he sneaks both hands under my t-shirt, first over my waist, up and down my back then over my breasts.
“Everyone will see you coming out of my room tomorrow morning,” he whispers against my mouth. “Are you ready for the gossip?”
My body burns for him. “Since when do you care . . . about what people say?”
“Since I have to protect your honor.”
It’s my turn to find his chest and brush my fingers over his nipples. “You know I’m a big girl and can take care of myself.”
Lucas moans, “I know, but I want to do that if you let me.”
“Under one condition. You let me do the same. No more lies, no more pushing me away. We stand by each other no matter what.”
“Deal.” Lucas seals the word with a kiss. He carries me to the bathroom, turns on the faucets and undresses both of us. “Let’s get you cleaned. It’s a big day tomorrow.”
I add half a bottle of body wash to the tub, vanilla scented bubbles covering the surface. “Is it?”
“Yes it is.” He kisses me. “It’s the day we start over.”
Unable to stop the smile spreading from my heart and out on my face, I kiss him back. Whatever the future holds I am ready to find out. With Lucas by my side nothing can stop me.
DEAR READER,
Thank you for giving my book a chance and a place on your bookshelf. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Please help other readers find this book by recommending it to friends, readers’ groups and bloggers.
Your input is valued; please review this book at any of the following websites: Amazon and GoodReads.
Yours truly,
Camelia Miron Skiba
AVAILABLE NOW
Camelia Miron Skiba—official bio
From ancient times to present day—Love Everlasting
Contemporary / Military / Historical Romance
Who I was yesterday … I’m no longer today, nor will I be tomorrow. Each day I grow a little. I stumble, get up, and learn something. I wish and dream and want and look to the future.
Who I am is not important, but what I leave behind is.
Copyright © 2013 CAMELIA MIRON SKIBA
www.authorcameliamironskiba.com
Me Tarzan, You Jane Page 25
