Speechless, Lasse shook his head from side to side.
“Why is that so shocking? This may come as a surprise to you, Lasse, but some people actually get married when they fall in love. Jonas would never insult me by suggesting merely living together.”
He turned and looked directly at her. His eyes softened, and his voice held regret. “You should know by now I never meant to insult you. I was accustomed to couples living together until they felt ready for marriage. I was crazy about you and didn’t want you going home. It was the only thing I could think of to keep you from leaving,”
“It might have helped if you had explained that at the time. Nothing in my background prepared me for such an ungallant offer.”
Her words left him gaping. Not told her? Of course he had told her. He couldn’t have been that selfish, that crass, could he? He closed his mouth and wondered if the time for an apology had come and gone. He decided he was nine years too late.
“You panicked and ran away. And I lost you.”
“I had a scheduled return flight,” Lauren corrected. “I was in college and fall semester was starting.”
“I remember.”
He had been crushed when she turned down his offer and returned home. It was three years before he saw her again. Over the years, they had developed a curious friendship. She was often the butt of his jokes, driven by jealousy, he admitted, but he also felt protective of her. He supposed he always would.
“It’s probably a good thing nothing came of us,” Lauren said. “We would have been a terrible mismatch.”
“Why do you think so?” He’d always believed they would have been perfect together.
“You are a good man, Lasse, but our lifestyles wouldn’t have meshed very well. Not in the long run.”
“I don’t believe that. If you are referring to our religious differences, we could have worked around them.”
Lauren had good reasons why she didn’t think so, but arguing about it at this point served no purpose. “Our argument at the time wasn’t about religion but about us living together,” she reminded him. “And I told you how I felt about that.”
“Yes, you did. Very eloquently, as I recall. And then you callously dumped me.”
The shock of his words silenced them both, but the memories were still fresh in his mind. At the time, Lauren had been insulted and hurt, and after scathingly turning down his offer, and without saying goodbye, had quietly boarded a plane for home. He had been furious. And heartbroken.
Lauren remembered, too. Wordlessly she left her seat. Leaning against the boat’s railing, she looked out on the water. It was a beautiful evening, perfect for a boat ride, but her heart was troubled as she realized that in all these years she had never looked at things from Lasse’s perspective. She could have handled things better, should have realized he was hurt, too.
Lasse slowed the boat to almost a standstill and turned towards her. “Did you love me even a little, Lauren? That summer?” It was a question he had asked himself many times over the years.
She turned and faced him. “Do you promise not to toss me overboard if I tell you the truth?”
Lasse gave her a lopsided half-smile. “That bad, huh?”
She shook her head. “Just very sad at the time.” She thought of that long-ago summer when life had seemed to hold such promise and when, for a short time, they’d had eyes only for each other. She had been so young, so impossibly idealistic. And in the end, so disappointed in him.
“I had a huge crush on you the summer I was eighteen,” she began.
That startled him. He never suspected.
“I tried to hide it, because I didn’t want to be teased. When I returned two years later, and we met again, I was still attracted. At the end of summer, I realized it was more than simple attraction. I assumed we would keep in touch when I returned home.”
“Go on,” he said quietly.
“Then you made that insulting offer. I was crushed and so disappointed in you. I cried on the plane going home.” She smiled in reminiscence. “The man sitting next to me was so concerned, he gave me his hankie.
“When I got home, my mom knew immediately something was wrong. I started bawling, feeling very sorry for myself and everything came pouring out. She listened patiently, and when I finally ran out of words and tears, she helped me put things in perspective. Once I understood our cultural and religious differences more clearly it was easier to see why you suggested what you did. But I could never agree to such a living arrangement or approve of it.”
Lauren became silent as she thought of other things her mother had told her, including some of the difficulties in her parents’ marriage because of her mother’s strong commitment to the Church and her father’s opposition to it. Lauren had always envisioned for herself the kind of marriage her own parents had, where the gospel was an integral part of their lives. She knew she couldn’t settle for anything less. But instead of explaining that to Lasse she had quietly slipped out of his life. Or as he put it, she had dumped him.
She stayed silent a long time, a faraway look in her eyes, until Lasse’s voice finally penetrated her thoughts. “You all right, Lauren? You stopped talking when you came to the living arrangement I suggested and that you blasted me with all those years ago.”
Lauren shook her head and refocused on the present. “Sorry. I was far away.”
“I noticed. Are you back now?”
“Yes, I’m back. What were you saying?”
“Would you have agreed to marry me that summer? If I had asked you?”
Lauren sighed. It was old history and irrelevant now. “I don’t know, Lasse, but I don’t think so. Not then, at least. It was too soon for both of us. But I do remember thinking that if you had asked me to, I would have considered transferring to the University in Bergen so we could have continued seeing each other. At the time, I thought I was in love with you. I wasn’t ready for it to end. Not the way it did.”
Lauren’s unexpected words silenced him. This was the conversation they should have had almost a decade ago. What a fool he had been. “You got over me, though.”
She nodded, again remembering. “I did a lot of thinking that fall. As painful as it was to admit, I knew we wouldn’t have been right for each other. Not that we had talked of marriage, but I knew when that time came I wanted a husband who shared my faith and who would take our family to church the way my father had always done. I realized I couldn’t settle for anything less.”
“And without discussing it with me, you decided I couldn’t be that man?”
“Be fair, Lasse. I tried—once—explaining why going to church was important to me, but you didn’t want to know. In fact, you were very adamant about having no interest in religion.”
Lasse looked at her, trying to remember. And it all came back to him. She was right. He had been adamant. And he had lost her because of those words, but more specifically, because he had not taken the time to understand the essential Lauren. He hadn’t understood that then. Now, when it was too late, he was beginning to.
In a voice that for Lasse was quite gentle, he said, “Given what you have just told me, should you be getting involved with Jonas? Aren’t you setting yourself up for the same kind of heartache all over again?”
At the mention of Jonas’ name, he noticed a softness come over her features.
“That’s a fair question,” she said, all irritation with him gone. “And the answer may not make sense to you, given our past. But Jonas and I know we belong together.” There was much more she could have explained, but Lasse had never been comfortable talking about spiritual matters, so she left it at that.
It had taken nine years, but at that moment Lasse, with great reluctance, accepted that Lauren would never be his. He didn’t speak for a long time, just forced himself to concentrate on steering the boat. Lauren had said her goodbye to
the past long ago. It was time he did the same. He slowed the boat and switched on the autopilot. A few steps brought him to her side. Holding out both arms he invited, “Come here, Lauren.”
She didn’t hesitate. She turned to him and was enfolded in strong arms and knew she was loved unconditionally.
And, Lasse discovered, an apology was possible after all, even nine years after the fact. “I’m sorry I hurt you with that selfish offer all those years ago,” he said gruffly. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know. I’m sorry I hurt you, too. If I’d been more experienced and sophisticated, I might have handled it differently.”
“Then you wouldn’t have been you. Losing you was tough,” he admitted.
“It was a summer romance, Lasse. You just held on longer than I did.”
“Oh, it was a lot more than that,” he said. “At least for me. I’d never known anyone like you.”
He gently loosened his hold on her and returned to his seat and the wheel, while Lauren reclaimed her own. Under Lasse’s hand, the boat resumed normal speed, and after a minute, he said, “I’m sorry I spoiled your boat trip. That wasn’t my intention.”
Lauren smiled that warm affectionate smile that was so much a part of her. “It takes more than a brotherly lecture to spoil a boat trip.”
He gave her a lopsided, somewhat wistful smile. “You’ve been a good sport over the years. I think I’ll always love you, Lauren.”
She was touched by his words but suspected he had held on to old memories out of habit. She hoped he would finally permit himself to move on.
They both stayed quiet until at length she said, “Lasse.”
“Yeah.”
“Now that we have cleared the air, could we have no more jokes at my expense and no more cracks about Jonas?”
He scowled mildly. “You’re asking a lot.”
“And can we admit we love each other, but not in a romantic way?”
He held back a moment before giving an exaggerated sigh. “Yes, to all of the above.”
She looked at him with affection. “I do love you, Lasse.”
He reached over and ruffled her hair. “I know.” He shook his head and looked at her. “You brat! You’ll have me in tears in a minute.” It seemed she still had the ability to move him.
After a while, he said, “Now then, where do you want this boat to take us? We are out here because of you, after all.”
Lauren didn’t answer right away. When they set out earlier, she had expected a peaceful, enjoyable evening on the water, not the confrontational one Lasse had been determined to make it. But they had weathered the storm. With the new understanding between them, there was finally calm. She turned to him with a wistful smile. “Can we go into the city and stop for soft-ice on the pier one last time?”
In answer, he scanned the horizon and carefully turned the boat around. Lauren’s request for ice cream reminded him of the first time he met her. He and a friend had stopped by his parents’ place one evening to go sailing. They found Lauren in the garden, newly arrived from the States and on impulse invited her along. She had never been sailing and was thrilled to go. They sailed into town and went ashore where he bought her a soft-ice on the pier. By the time they returned home, he was completely charmed by her. She was eighteen, he was twenty-three.
Lauren was older now but still had that ability to charm. “The pier it is,” he announced with flair. “Anywhere else?”
“I don’t know yet. How much time do you have to waste on me?”
“My darling, Lauren, no time spent with you is ever wasted,” he announced gallantly.
She laughed at his nonsense and asked, “Did you bring your phone by any chance?”
Lasse frowned. “Why?”
She bit her lip to keep from smiling. She had plans for Lasse. “I didn’t bring mine, and there is someone I’d like you to meet.”
Lasse looked at her in shock. “You’re matchmaking? Now? Give me a break, will you Lauren. I’ve only been out of love with you for about five minutes.”
She brushed aside his protest and held out her hand. “Your phone please?”
Reluctantly, he complied, then listened with interest.
“Annie? Lauren. Are you doing anything special or can you meet me at Zachariasbryggen?” Located in Bergen’s inner harbor, Zachariasbryggen or Zacharias Pier was a popular gathering place on a summer evening. “I’m on my way by boat.”
“Hang on while I ask.” She turned to Lasse. “How long before we dock?”
“About twenty minutes,” came the dry reply, “unless this is an emergency!”
She ignored his sarcasm and imparted the information. “You can? Great! I’ll be waiting on the pier. See you there.”
Her face full of pleasure, she informed Lasse, “She’s coming.”
With a resigned laugh, he inquired, “Am I taking both of you for soft-ice? It’s not often I have the privilege of escorting a young lady on each arm. What a lucky fellow I am!”
“Oh, stuff it,” requested Lauren inelegantly. “You’ll love Annie. She had a bad live-in experience some years ago. You can show her that not all men are creeps.”
Arms folded and leaning negligently against a lamppost, Lasse watched the steady stream of people out for their evening promenade. He couldn’t believe Lauren was setting him up. He was still trying to decide how to handle it and knew she expected him to behave well. He had no idea what this Annie looked like. He’d play a game and see if he could spot her.
He started looking at every unaccompanied female walking toward the pier. There was a short, slim girl with flashing eyes. No! A pretty, slightly plump, blonde girl with hair to her waist. He didn’t think so. A tall, slender girl with a determined stride headed their way. It couldn’t be her, she was too attractive. The short skirt and pretty sandals showed off long, shapely legs. She moved with confidence, her hair swinging jauntily with every step and when she spotted Lauren, a warm smile of recognition lit up her face.
Lasse swallowed. Lauren did love him, he thought with irony. Look at the prize she was handing him. He pulled away from the lamppost and walked slowly toward the two women, a polite smile of welcome ready.
Lauren struggled to hide her amusement. She had been watching him watch the approaching girls and knew him well enough to know exactly what he was doing. She almost laughed out loud at the expression on his face when he realized the girl with the legs was the one they’d been waiting for.
Before she had a chance to introduce them, he said with great charm, “Hello! I am Lasse. I have the honor of escorting both of you to the ice cream shop.”
Both women looked at him, Lauren with relief, Annie with an open, friendly smile. Lasse was an attractive man, just under six feet tall, trim and broad-shouldered. He was definitely worth a second look. Lauren quickly introduced them. “Annie, I’d like you to meet Lasse. He is taking me out for my last boat ride before I go home tomorrow. When he asked where I wanted to go, I begged for soft-ice on the pier, so here we are. Lasse, Annie, my cousin several times removed. Isn’t she something?”
“Something,” Lasse agreed with a warm smile. “Nice to meet you, Annie.”
“And you,” she replied. “Lauren speaks so warmly of your family I feel I know you already.”
Lasse acknowledged her kind words, then asked, “Would you rather go for a meal or a drink or is ice cream enough?”
The women looked at each other, then at Lasse. “Just ice cream, then a promenade on Bryggen,” Lauren decided. “I want to soak up the atmosphere one last time.”
Bryggen, the centuries-old Hanseatic Pier adjacent to Zacharias Pier, was a major tourist draw. You couldn’t visit Bergen without stopping there to browse in the shops or enjoy a casual meal or a drink at the sidewalk cafe. There was constant life on Bryggen in summer.
“Then Bryggen it is
,” Lasse grinned and held out both elbows.
The three of them spent an enjoyable hour or so together. To Lauren’s great joy, there was harmony between them. They chatted casually like old friends, and Lasse did not attempt any clever remarks at her expense. This was the Lasse she first knew and had found so attractive all those years ago.
Eventually, the talk turned to their return trip.
“Would you like a few minutes on the water before heading home, Annie?” Lasse asked as they reached the docking area.
Annie shook her head in regret. “I’d like to say yes, but I get seasick.” Then she turned to Lauren. “Thank you for including me tonight. I had a good time.”
“And Lasse was a good sport,” Lauren added.
Annie agreed. “You held up well under the hardship of escorting us both,” she teased. “You’re a brave man.”
Lasse grinned good-naturedly. “Yes, well, Lauren’s a tough one to turn down.”
“I believe you. Goodbye, you two. Safe flight, Lauren.” She gave her a quick hug and was on her way.
They stood by the boat and watched Annie stride off. Her quick, determined pace made Lasse smile. “Nice girl. I like her.”
“I like her, too.” She looked at her companion as they climbed on board. “She is worth getting to know.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
The trip home was harmonious as well. The new understanding between them created a feeling of relaxed, fond friendship, and Lauren said, “Thanks for being such a good sport this evening. I know I dropped it on you, but I am a bit crunched for time and wanted the two of you to meet.”
Lasse didn’t reply, just ruffled her hair and gathered her to his side. A chapter in his life was closing. It wasn’t the ending he would have chosen, but he was honest enough to admit the mistakes made had been his own.
Because of Lauren: A Love Story Page 16
