by Maxene Novak
“Miss Sabrina said to tell you she’s fine,” he murmured, talking low so the two other people in the waiting area wouldn’t overhear. “She just passed out from a little anemia. The doctor said she’ll be cleared to perform at tomorrow night’s show.”
Anemia?
Jessie shot me a confused look.
“I’m to drive you back to the arena,” the guard said.
Well, at least we had a ride back to our buses.
We rode with the guard in silence back to the arena, where Jessie and I decided to skip what was fast becoming our usual late night breakfast/dinner together. There weren’t any diners close by anyway in this city. And it was getting late.
“Weird night, huh?” Jessie said as we walked together towards our buses.
I nodded.
“See you at sound check.”
“Make sure you take care of those stitches,” I said as I turned towards the Drakes’ bus. “And try not to butt heads with anyone else for a while?”
Jessie laughed. “Yeah, right.”
CHAPTER 6
Shane
It was weird the next day. Although Sabrina’s bus was late getting to the next arena, and she showed up a couple minutes late for sound check, no one except Jessie and me and her guards seemed to know anything had happened to her last night.
But the media was still having a field day with at least half the story. While they hadn’t gotten any pics of us loading her into the car thanks to the way her bus had blocked their view from the street, they had managed to get a pic of the car with Jessie in the back seat holding his face. And one of them must have had a zoom lens from hell, because they also managed to snap a pic of his bandaged face as he walked through the parking lot earlier today for sound check. So by the time Jessie kicked off tonight’s show, all the social media sites and gossip blogs were speculating that something major had happened. The rumors about the cause for his wound were wildly off base and actually kind of amusing. Some of them thought Sabrina had kicked his ass in some kind of secret, tawdry lover’s spat. Others said I was in love with her and kicked his ass out of a jealous rage.
“None of them have me winning the fight,” Jessie grumbled in the green room as he cooled down from his performance and got ready to do his meet and greet.
That got a laugh out of me, and I shook my head. “Could be worse. They could have said you came onto me and I kicked your ass out of a homophobic rage.”
His eyebrows shot up, making him hiss, wince, and hiss again at the eyebrow movement’s pulling of his stitches. “Son of a bitch, this thing hurts. Anybody ever tell you that you have one hell of a hard head?”
I snickered. “Well obviously, since you’re the only one who wound up with stitches. Comes with growing up with all those brothers.”
Jessie settled for rolling his eyes and grumbling as he finished toweling off. He sprayed on more deodorant, then flashed me a grin on his way out of the green room. “Later, Bruiser.”
I chuckled, checked the time, and rolled up to my feet. Time to get ready for the stage.
***
Sabrina looked her usual perfectly polished self as I took the stage with her for our duet. She wouldn’t look me directly in the eye, though, and her face still seemed pale even with all her makeup on.
How long had she had to stay at the hospital? Was there any danger of her passing out again? What was the emergency plan if she passed out on stage? How was Sabrina feeling?
It was frustrating not to have any answers. And we were walking towards each other now, closer and closer with every step until we were toe to toe and the instrumental part was coming up.
Later, I would never understand what possessed me to do it. One minute I was looking down at her, searching those big brown eyes for some sign that she was truly feeling better. And the next I’d reached out, grabbed her hand, twirled her around and brought her back up against my front like a couple on the dance floor. I used my thumb to click off my handheld mike, and covered her earpiece mike with my free hand as if I were caressing her cheek. Then I ducked my head to whisper in her other ear, “You alright?”
She looked up at me with dazed eyes and nodded.
“I’ll stop by your bus after meet and greet to talk.” I didn’t give her a chance to argue. The instrumental section of the song nearly over, I twirled her the opposite direction out of my arms and clicked on my microphone again to resume singing the final lines of the song with her. To her credit, her voice didn’t waver at all, staying strong and perfectly on note right to the end despite how I’d probably shocked us both with my crazy stupid need for answers.
No, not answers. Reassurance.
Later, after the show during the seemingly endless meet and greet, I tried to rationalize my actions on stage. Of course I was worried about the main act for this tour. Without Sabrina, there was no tour. This was the Drakes’ big break. We needed her to be okay so we could all finish the tour and reach the biggest audience numbers that we could manage.
At least, that was what I told myself.
But when Jessie saw me heading towards the parking lot and fell into step with me after hearing I was going to check on Sabrina, I realized the truth.
Something about Sabrina shook me up from the inside out on the deepest levels. And my need to know she was okay had nothing whatsoever to do with the damn tour.
This time when we greeted a guard outside her bus door, Sabrina didn’t argue about letting us in.
We found her curled up on one of two white leather couches in the front end of the bus. She was once again barefooted and in another of those hoodie lounge suits, this time in pink with all that thick, glossy dark hair loose around her shoulders.
She greeted us with a wry smile that was just short of embarrassed. “Hey.”
“Hey,” Jessie said. “How ya feeling?”
She looked up at his bandaged forehead and winced. “A whole lot better than you probably. My guards filled me in. But…did you two really bump heads so hard you split your forehead open?”
We eased down on the couch opposite her while Jessie laughed. “Yeah, we did. We were both trying to catch you at the same time, and Rock Head here clonked me a good one.”
I watched her every movement carefully, wondering how hard it would be to get the truth out of her. “So…what happened last night? They said you were anemic?”
She nodded slowly and swallowed hard, her right hand drifting up to tuck her hair behind her ear. “Apparently I need more red meat in my diet or something.”
And that’s when I realized just how shitty a liar the Princess of Pop was.
“Sabrina, people don’t usually just become so anemic they start falling down bus stairs,” I murmured, staring at her and willing her to open up and trust us. “Look, we’ve all put a lot on the line to go on this tour with you. Not to mention last night’s…fun in saving your cute little backside. So why don’t you fess up and tell us what’s really going on? We deserve to know if we should be worried about any repeat issues.”
The smile faded from her face, her eyes turning large with fear again. Just like before. She licked her lips, her gaze darting all over the place.
“Sabrina?” Jessie murmured, leaning forward with his elbows braced on his knees.
Her hands began to fidget in her lap. Suddenly she jumped up to her feet and turned towards the back end of the bus. “If you really have to know, you’ll have to sign NDA…” Her face went two shades paler as she froze and her legs started to wobble.
Uh oh. Not again.
I jumped up and caught Sabrina. She was still conscious enough to make a fumbling attempt to push me away, but I ignored that and guided her back to the couch. Once she was seated, I gently pushed her head down between her knees. “Just breathe, Sabrina. You’re okay. Just breathe.”
Jessie’s wide-eyed gaze flicked back and forth between Sabrina’s lowered head and me. “Should we call for the car again?”
“Nah. If she’s really anemi
c, then she just stood up too fast.”
After a couple of minutes, Sabrina slowly sat up, giving me a halfhearted scowl. “Gee. Thanks. Again.”
I made a mock solute with two fingers at my temple.
“How’d you know to…” She waved her hand at herself.
It took me a few seconds to understand. “I’ve got a lot of married brothers whose wives keep getting pregnant. Fainting damsels in distress are a regular occurrence at all our family gatherings.”
She leaned back on the couch, carefully dropping her head back.
“Did you just start to say you want us to sign NDAs before you’ll tell us what’s really going on?” Jessie asked, his voice thick with incredulity.
She closed her eyes, appearing weary beyond her years. “When you get to where I am, you learn to be extra careful. Or you don’t, and fall off the cliff like the other has-been rock stars.”
“But what the fuck could be so big you’d need a NDA to ensure we don’t spill about it?” Jessie asked.
“You’re sick,” I answered for her with a guess. “Something major.”
She didn’t say anything, just sat there with her eyes closed, breathing slowly. Only the continual fidgeting of her fingers showed she was still awake.
Her silence was my confirmation.
“Does it require chemo?” I asked.
She swallowed hard. “It’s an option. Not something I’d try during the tour though.”
“But it does require meds to control,” I murmured. “Is there a cure?”
She hesitated then shook her head. “But I won’t necessarily die of it either.”
Jessie stood up and began to pace, and we both watched him curiously.
I sighed. “So it’s incurable, but you won’t die, but it makes you anemic and occasionally pass out—”
Jessie shoved his hands into his hair. “Just tell us what the fuck it is already! Enough with the secrets! We won’t fucking tell anyone.”
“Jessie,” I injected warning into that single word. He turned to look at me. “She’s told us enough. More than we really deserve.”
“But—”
I stared at him, keeping my gaze steady and unwavering. “Jessie, you don’t just force someone to tell you their deepest darkest. Trust is earned.”
Sabrina eased forward, turning at the waist to look at me with slightly raised eyebrows. Was it my imagination, or did her eyes soften a bit?
I patted her back then stood up. “Come on, Jessie. Let’s let her get some rest.”
Jessie stared down at her for a long moment then grumbled something under his breath and followed me to the exit.
“Wait. You don’t…you don’t have to go.” Her voice was so quiet, I wasn’t sure of what I heard.
I turned to face her with raised eyebrows.
“I mean, I don’t think I’m up for the whole hanging with groupies scene. But you two could stay and hang out here. We could…I don’t know. Watch a movie?” She tried a smile, but the vulnerability in her eyes gave her away.
She didn’t want to be alone.
She didn’t need to invite me twice. “Sounds good to me. Jessie?”
“Yeah, I’m in too.”
As we turned and walked back up the steps, she pushed a button on the end of one of the couches then pulled and it slid out into the walkway, becoming an L shaped couch.
“Oh wait. We should get drinks and munchies.” Did she actually sound…excited? She carefully moved into the kitchen and took our drink orders, grabbing sodas for all three of us, and nuked some popcorn in the microwave. She moved slowly and stiffly, wincing occasionally, but quick with a smile again when she noticed us watching from the couches. She seemed to be in a lot of pain but didn’t want us to know it.
Which was weird, because a few weeks ago I would have expected exactly the opposite from her. The so-called Princess of Pop was turning out to be a whole lot stronger than the media and her marketing team portrayed her as. She wasn’t some breakable piece of china or glass. Not if she’d been hiding serious health issues on top of near nightly kick ass performances on tour. This tour would have been an endurance marathon for even healthy artists.
Clearly the woman was a fighter and clinging to the need to feel normal still. Which was why I ignored my instincts to jump up and help her.
Even as I felt guilty as hell for being so demanding of her. And borderline insulting too.
Jessie’s hands were fidgeting, like he wanted to help her too and was actively resisting it.
“Hey Sabrina?” he blurted out, apparently unable to help himself. “Maybe we should be the ones to make the snacks?”
She turned and glared at him over her shoulder while pulling out bowls from the overhead cabinet. “I’m sick. Not dead.”
Just as I’d expected.
My laughter slipped out as a snort, and I had to pretend it was a short cough, earning a glare from Jessie. I shrugged and gave him a “you should have followed my lead” look.
“See that tablet?” She jerked her chin at a tablet on the counter nearest Jessie. “You can pick out a movie on there.”
Jessie grabbed the tablet and started looking for a movie for us. Without looking up, he said, “What are we in the mood for? Action? Comedy? Romance?”
“Anything but a tragedy.” Sabrina grinned while pouring the finished popcorn into three bowls.
Since I didn’t care what we watched as long as it was with Sabrina, I kicked back on my couch, stretching my legs across the aisle, and clasped my hands behind my head. It felt good to just sit and relax for a change. No one to jump up and play bartender for. No crazy groupie antics to have to try and ignore. No noisy band members shaking the whole bus running around like monkeys high on Red Bull. Just peace and quiet and easy companionship.
Once we were all settled in with popcorn and drinks, Sabrina showed us how to use the tablet to lower a retractable TV screen from the ceiling along the front wall that hid the driver’s area. After turning off all the overhead lights, she started the movie, grabbed a faux fur blanket to wrap up in, then expanded the end of my couch into another L shape so that now the entire front end of the bus had been turned into a U-shaped couch. She took the spot in the middle, encouraging us to kick up our feet on our sides and lie down to get comfortable. Then we started the movie.
I didn’t last more than ten minutes tops before I crashed hard.
***
Jessie
Halfway through the movie, I turned my head to look at my movie buddies and realized I was the only one still watching the movie. Sabrina and Shane had crashed hard, their heads a few inches away from each other. They looked awfully cute, and I had to remind myself not to be a jerk and violate their privacy by snapping a pic with my phone. Not that I would have shared that pic with anyone else. It just would have made a nice image to look back on this tour with.
Shane must have been cold. He had his arms wrapped around himself in his sleep. Easing up to my feet, I quietly checked the overhead cabinets, found a throw blanket and spread it over him. He mumbled something in his sleep and rolled onto his side, facing the back of his couch, snuggling deeper under the blanket like a cute little kid.
I knew I should probably leave and head back to my own bus. Not that anyone would miss me for hours yet, not until it was time to load up and hit the road again. Until then, no one cared much where I crashed.
All that freedom sounded great, until you actually experienced it. Some people probably were fine being alone all the time. But I hated being alone. Having no one to talk to or hang out with was my idea of torture. If I were ever imprisoned and thrown into a solitary cell, I knew I would never make it. I’d go crazy within days, maybe hours.
Sometimes, though I’d never admit it to anyone else, I hooked up with girls just to have someone to cuddle with afterward.
But even I knew that was pretty screwed up. So I let everyone think I was just a player instead of pathetic and needy.
But staying her
e for a few more hours couldn’t be a bad thing. Sabrina had invited us to stay, and she’d sounded as lonely as I often felt when she’d said it. I seriously doubted she’d be mad in the morning to discover us crashing on her couch.
So, I quietly found one more blanket from the overhead bin, wrapped it around myself, and lay down on my side of the couch. No longer caring how the movie ended, I used the tablet to turn the sound down to faint background noise, left the tablet on the kitchen counter top, then got comfy on my own section of the couch again. And fell asleep within minutes with a smile on my face.
***
The rumble of multiple bus engines starting up outside woke us after what felt like only a few minutes, but turned out to be hours later.
Sabrina was groggy but still got up and walked with us to the door, smiling sleepily.
“Thanks for movie night,” I said on a yawn, pausing in the doorway to stretch the kinks out of my back and shoulders.
Shane reached past me, pushed the door open, and gave me a not too subtle shove in the back. “Yeah. Thanks, Sabrina. It was…nice.”
One dark eyebrow arched. “Nice, huh?”
Shane shrugged and pushed me out the doorway. “Yeah. Peaceful. Quiet. Relaxing. Nice.”
I stumbled down the steps, turning back to flash a grin at her. “And you’re not too bad a face to wake up to, either.”
She snorted. “Wow. Proof that you really never do stop flirting. Even before coffee and everything.” But her cheeks turned a pretty pink anyway, making me grin harder.
“Uh huh. You know you love it. Probably already falling for me too.”
Shane snorted this time. “Come on, Romeo. Let the woman have a chance to get ready for the day before the buses take off.”
Oh yeah. Forgot about that. I waved at her then turned and hurried to walk with Shane for a few yards since our buses were beside each other.
I glanced over at him and was surprised to find him scowling. “Not much of a morning person, are you?”
