“That will be unnecessary,” Fudge said as Waldo emerged from the back of the house.
“My apologies,” Gregory coughed. “I did not realize the extent of Althea’s involvement.”
“It is not Althea’s idea. It is mine,” a voice boomed in our heads. “As a Rottweiler, I am frightening to most species and as a large one, am capable of taking down even a bear or wolf. And I have capabilities the youngling does not.”
It seemed odd to have my couple-thousand-year-old familiar referred to as a “youngling.” And it was disconcerting to have another voice in my head. I’d learned a few months ago that Waldo had the ability to speak to anyone’s mind if he chose to do so. But to have the oldest familiar in the world taking an interest in my well-being was enough to make me blush.
“It is not just your well-being,” the voice boomed again. “It is the principle of a paranormal attacking another paranormal which sets my teeth on edge. I will prevent that from happening.”
Oops. He could read minds, too.
Fudge’s familiar voice answered, “He cannot. I relayed your thoughts.”
“And you did that why?”
“It seemed the right thing to do.”
Familiars. There was no figuring them out. But at least I only had one of them digging around in my brain.
So, confident I was fully protected, I made my way down to Ev’s basement, Fudge at my heels. First things first: I had to go upstairs to get water to make coffee, then start the pot to perking. Fudge curled up under my desk as I fired up my laptop and started my day.
Despite the different surroundings, it felt great to have a normal workday. Sally had done a marvelous job of setting things up and I quickly got back into the swing of things: checking emails and voice mail messages, and making a list of things to talk to Ev about when he finally announced he was ready to work.
About an hour later, I heard him bellow from the top of the stairs, “Amy? You down there?”
I hollered that I was and I’d be up to his office in a moment. I refilled my coffee, grabbed my notes and made my way upstairs.
“Who’re all these people and why are there cop cars in my driveway? The neighbors probably think I’ve done something bad,” he asked as I pulled a chair up to the front of his desk and sat.
“They’re paranormal cops. Making sure the creeps I met last night don’t come here and try something. And in case you’re wondering, the Rottweiler is a familiar who’s stronger than Fudge.”
“So what happened last night? Gregory was close-mouthed about it, just telling me you were okay. And that I couldn’t go clubbing last night because of whatever the hell it is that’s going on. It was a boring night.”
To Ev, staying home at night was tantamount to imprisonment. For some reason, I didn’t feel bad. Instead, I gave him an overview of the previous evening, the fact that I couldn’t sleep in my own bed as he had been able to do, and that, hopefully, it would all be over in twenty-four hours or so. Then, to business.
We got everything sorted between us and just before I left to go back to my desk, I reminded him to either use his cell phone or the office line we’d had installed.
“Shit. Thanks. But what do we do if someone calls while I’m on the phone? We don’t have a second line anymore.”
I sighed. He could be such a putz at times. “Voice mail will pick up if the line is busy. Just like it did when both lines were in use in the old office. You’re going to have to make adjustments for the next few months. Use your cell phone if you’re so worried about it.”
Sally arrived shortly after lunch (I missed Cassandra bringing mine to me and foresaw GrubHub getting a lot of business) and we continued as best we could.
Somewhere mid-afternoon, as I was beginning to yawn and contemplating my usual nap, a roar penetrated all the way to the basement. Fudge bounded up the stairs more quickly than Sally or I could. The front door was thrown open and Ev stood on the step. We could see his agitation even with his back to us. My cat was nowhere in evidence.
I shouldered Ev aside so Sally and I could see what had him so tense. On the front lawn, a large Rottweiler and a much smaller dark brown cat had a bear pinned down, the dog sitting on the bear’s chest and my cat on his face. The bear was bleeding from multiple wounds, but still managed to bellow out his anger, or frustration, or whatever.
“Desist or I will destroy you!” Waldo’s voice reverberated in my head. Sally’s eyes widened.
“What the hell was that?” she asked.
“You heard that? And you’re fully human? It’s the Rottweiler,” I replied. “That’s Waldo, the head honcho of all familiars. I guess he’s not bothering to concentrate his voice.”
The bear continued to struggle and roar. In the blink of an eye, it shimmered and vanished from beneath Waldo and Fudge, who casually stepped down as if coming off a platform. They both started grooming the blood off their claws and fur.
The four cops, who had been standing at the four corners of the front yard with their hands raised, lowered them simultaneously, as Gregory came running around from the back.
“What the hell happened?” he yelled.
“An elf just tried to do something, probably bad, to the occupants of this house. He unveiled in the middle of the yard and transformed into a bear. Waldo had us mask the yard from sight and sound while he took care of the intruder,” one of the cops said.
Gregory turned to Waldo. “Well?”
Waldo didn’t stop licking at the blood spots. “I do not know who this was except that it was a fairly young elf. Anyone who feels the need to veil and subsequently shift is a menace. He did not stop his advance with warning and continued to struggle to free himself even after he had been stopped from entering the house. Althea and the others have been notified. You may continue what you were doing. I will stay.”
“Show’s over, Ev.” Gregory motioned him back into the house. Ev kept staring at Waldo.
“Who is that dog and what did he just do?”
I sighed while shoving Ev in the direction of the door. “I told you. He’s a familiar who’s stronger than Fudge. He just proved it by killing the elf. And you met him last year, anyways.”
Ev looked down at me. “He killed it? As in, didn’t send it anywhere but it’s dead?”
I continued shoving, this time into his office. “Yes. Dead. Better that than you having a brown bear rampaging through your house and/or attacking any of us, isn’t it?”
Ev dropped into his chair, running his hands through his hair. “What the hell is happening around here? First, my office gets burned to the ground, and now an elf, bear, whatever, tries to attack me. What’s going on, Amy?”
I grabbed a Coke from the small fridge in his office and handed it to him. (Ev disdained plain water.) “Drink. And calm down. Somehow, we got on the radar of a group of radicals. Even though we really have nothing to do with them, and nothing to threaten them with, I guess they figure eliminating anyone on the periphery of what they’re doing is better than not. They’re obviously a violent bunch, which is why we have magical protection. For which I’m grateful. You okay now? Can I go back to work?”
Ev wordlessly nodded so I turned to go back to the basement, and ran smack into Sally, who had been standing behind me. She looked a little pale. I grabbed her arm and propelled her toward the stairs.
“Do I need to get something to calm you down, too?” I asked her.
“Um. No. I think I’m good. But what the hell?”
“You heard what I told Ev?” She nodded. “Then there’s your explanation. I’m sorry you’re caught up in it and I’d understand if you want out. All this truly weird crap wasn’t in your job description.”
“I think I can handle it. I’m just a little overwhelmed. Stuff like this doesn’t generally happen to someone like me, y’know? I’ve never had another voice in my head, and never seen a bear in person, much less one that disappeared into thin air.”
I could empathize. The first time Fudg
e spoke in my head was more than a little disconcerting. My heart rate was up, too, because of the elf/bear. Bears belonged either in the zoo or in the wild, according to this city girl. But I was learning to deal with weird shit, which this whole week-plus definitely qualified as.
“Take the rest of the afternoon off, go home, and pour yourself a glass or two of wine. It’s only a…” I looked at the clock on my computer “…little over an hour, anyways.”
She nodded and, reaching under her desk, grabbed her purse. “Thanks. I think that’s a good idea. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I sighed as she headed up the stairs. Good help was hard to find and if these creeps cost me an assistant, I’d be the one doing some ass-whooping. Just then, the phone rang, reminding me I still had a job to do.
An hour later, Gregory hollered from the top of the stairs. “Time to go, Amy!”
“Back to my prison?” I asked as I shut everything down for the night.
“Unfortunately, for at least one more night, yes. Today’s events just highlighted the need for your security,” he replied as I trudged up the stairs, Fudge trailing behind me.
“Someone keeping an eye on Ev?”
“We think you’re the target because of last night. But the police will stay until it’s all over to ensure his safety. He is not pleased because he can’t go out again tonight, even though I’ve explained the dangers.”
That sounded like my boss. As an ogre, regular magic bounced off him and he usually partied at paranormal clubs, where the bouncers could handle anything he couldn’t as far as a physical attack went. He should remember that elven magic didn’t bounce off him, though.
“Poor guy,” I murmured. “Not being able to go partying but still able to sleep in his own bed surrounded by his own stuff. I don’t feel sorry for him in the least.”
“Nor do I. But I feel sorry for me when he finally can go back out. It will be some long nights, to be sure, because he will feel he has a couple of weeks to make up for.”
The ride downtown was quiet. Fudge stood in my lap with his paws on the dash, watching traffic. Gregory sighed several times as traffic thickened but said nothing until we pulled into the parking garage and up to the solo elevator.
“I’ll let you off here,” he told me. “Ed has shanghaied me for tonight, so I have to go to work. I’ll come by your room later if there’s any news.”
Ms. Fitzsimmons and Waldo met us at the elevator. “My apologies for keeping you from your home once again,” she said. “But we feel it’s necessary for your safety.”
I only nodded and turned down the hall to where I knew a room awaited me. They followed, Fudge falling back and trotting alongside Waldo.
As we reached my room, Ms. Fitzsimmons put her hand on my arm. “I know this has been a difficult few weeks for you. I just wanted to tell you that we are proud of the way you have comported yourself, even put yourself in danger for the greater good.”
“I guess it comes with the territory, huh?” I replied. “I have an ogre for a boss, who seems to get himself into pickles all the time and drags me with him. I’m just looking forward to being able to sleep in my own bed for more than one or two nights at a time and getting my routine back. Until the next time he does something stupid.”
She chuckled. “I know several ogres. None of them are quite as, shall we say, accident-prone? as your employer. My hopes are the same as yours because I, too, value my routine.”
Waldo nudged her hand with his head. “We must go. There are things to attend to. Please, make yourself as comfortable as possible and don’t hesitate to ask for anything that will help that.”
Fudge and I went into our room. A second suitcase sat on the bed with a note in Gregory’s handwriting: “Cassandra wasn’t certain how long you’d need to be gone or what you’d want. She packed more for both you and Fudge and asked me to bring it to you.”
In the bag was more clothing and Fudge’s favorite toys. He snatched one filled with valerian root out of my hand and started chewing on it while I put the rest of the toys on the floor and the bag in the closet. I kicked off my shoes and lay down on the bed, determined to get a short nap in since there wasn’t much else to do. Fudge hopped on the bed next to me, the somewhat worse-for-wear toy in his mouth. We curled up together.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
It was dark when I opened my eyes, which meant my nap was longer than a “quick” one. The clock on my phone told me it was nearly ten o’clock. My stomach told me it was well past dinner time. I asked the magical phone for a garden salad, ranch dressing, and a small piece of salmon that I shared with Fudge.
“You are the best human ever. You give me more treats than any other witch I’ve had.”
“If by ‘best human’ you mean the one who spoils you the most then yes, I guess I am. But you’ve worked hard the last couple of weeks and deserve a little pampering.”
We’d just finished eating, the plates disappearing when I told the phone we were through, and there was a knock on the door. I opened it to find Gregory and Mr. Bartz, both with grins on their faces.
“Would you care to sleep in your own bed tonight?” Gregory asked.
“Would I? You bet. But how? What?”
“May we come in and tell you what happened over the last three hours?” Mr. Bartz asked.
“Of course.” I opened the door wider. Both men came in. Mr. Bartz went to the phone and ordered three bottles of beer while Gregory sat in one of the chairs and splayed his legs.
When the beer had arrived and the first sips were duly taken, Mr. Bartz started his narrative.
“Thanks to you, we were able to identify all the parties in the room last night, as well as the vampire on the phone. Working with the mundane police, thirty-two members of this little clique have been rounded up and charged with making terroristic threats. Some were even stupid enough to boast of what they were doing on social media.”
“I don’t understand. I mean, I understand making a threat is illegal, but…”
“One of the witches you saw last night was a timid little thing, going along with her boyfriend to make him happy, although she didn’t agree with the violence. She noticed her tail (who has since been reassigned) and confronted her. She’s the one who spilled the beans.
“The Minnesota Senate was in a night session tonight, supposedly for some important vote. It turns out the Majority Leader is a were-coyote and is sympathetic to their ‘cause.’ He’s the one who engineered this evening meeting.
“The idea was to storm the capitol building, use magic to subdue as many senators as possible, and turn them either into weres or vampires. The theory being if they were paranormal beings, and making up a majority, they’d, oh, I don’t know, start making laws to subjugate humans. Or something. What they didn’t think completely through is the Senate usually meets during the day. Vampires wouldn’t be able to be politicians among humans!”
Gregory snorted. “I’m not certain politicians are human, but be that as it may, the plan was set for nine tonight. We were able to set up a trap, utilizing police from every major species but most especially, the elves. When they entered the capitol, there were no human guards at the door but all elves. Were species and magical people were the guards in both the rotunda and chambers. It was a simple matter to subdue them even before they got to the Senate chamber and haul them out. The senators didn’t know what was happening until the Majority Leader was arrested.”
“So that’s the end of it?” I asked.
“Pretty much,” Mr. Bartz said. “You are already under the aegis of the Vampire Council, so none of them will bother you without severe repercussions, which they already know because of your prior run-in with one. There may be a stray elf, were, or wizard, but between your familiar and Gregory, you will be guarded for the next couple of weeks until we’re certain there are no more stragglers. But I honestly think we got them all in one fell swoop.”
I was relieved beyond belief. A small smile crossed my face as
I looked at Gregory. “It’s early. Are you taking Ev out?”
“Are you kidding? I need some sleep, too. I will tell him tomorrow. Now, pack your things and I will take you home.”
I almost cried as we pulled up to my apartment building. I’d only been gone four days, but it seemed like a lifetime.
“I will pick you up at seven-thirty in the morning, okay?” Gregory asked as he helped me haul the two bags filled with clothes, toiletries, and Fudge’s toys down the stairs and into my apartment.
“Okay. But does Fudge have to stay awake all night? That’s tough for him.”
“I can do it if need be, but it is not necessary. There are added protection spells on the building. They feel like elven magic.”
I looked down at my cat, then glared at Gregory. “Wait. Elven protection spells? So they know where I live, too?”
“Nelion thought it prudent. He said he purposely made them to degrade in about a week, which should be plenty of time. If not, he will return and refresh them. I agreed with him, as did James.” James was the owner of my apartment building, and a wizard to boot. “James’ wards won’t keep an elf out. These will.”
I mentally shrugged my shoulders. Nothing I could do about it now. I said as much and bid him good night. I closed the door behind him, then plopped my butt down on my sofa, Fudge hopping up and curling next to me.
“It is good to be home. You need to order more of those smelly candles if I am to accompany you to work each day. They stink but are better than the ogre.”
I gave him a long, massaging back scratch. “You know we’re still figuring out what we need to replace. I’ll add them to Sally’s shopping list.”
He nuzzled me, then moved to the other end of the sofa for bath time. I padded into the kitchen, put my morning coffee together, set the timer, and headed for bed. It was good to be home!
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