by Sean Stone
I called Richards but it went straight to voicemail. I left a message letting him know it was going down and then I left. I took a taxi to Penenden Heath and then waited on the bench by the road. Despite all the evidence I’d seen and heard from other people there was a still huge part of me that doubted the existence of a little gnome who kidnapped children. I’d never encountered a gnome and their existence as a race was still questionable in my mind. I had no doubt that something supernatural was going on, I just didn’t fully believe it was a gnome. There had to be another explanation.
That was all shot to smoke when I saw little Agatha protrude from the bushes across the road. She stepped out onto the patch of grass hand in hand with a tiny little man. A little man who could only be described as a gnome. Panomie. I was too far away to get a proper look at him but I could tell he wasn’t just a little human. I could make out the mane of hair and the exceptionally large nose. That wasn’t what gave him away as not human; there are plenty of hairy big-nosed humans. He just had a vibe to him and even from this distance I could pick it up. He led Agatha across the road and they headed towards the woods. I stood up and followed, pulling my phone out to try Richards again. This time he answered.
“Eddie, I just got out of a meeting. What’s the problem?” He hadn’t had a chance to listen to my message yet. My back-up was going to be somewhat delayed.
“It’s happening right now.”
“`What? You’re sure?” he sounded panicked and so he should be.
“I’m looking at Panomie leading Agatha away. You need to get down here. Now.”
“Eddie, stop him.”
“I’m going to, Richards, but I might need a bit of assistance when the parents realise she’s gone. Also I’ll need a van to get this thing out of here,” I said.
“I’m on my way. I’ll bring back up.” He ended the call. I hoped he wouldn’t be too long.
I continued to follow at the same pace so as not to alert them but as soon as they disappeared into the darkness of the woods I broke into a run. It didn’t take long to make it to the woods but finding them was going to be harder than I’d anticipated. The woods were as black as tar. I had no choice but to cast some light. I held out my palm and blasted a bolt of white light through the trees. The woods illuminated in magnificent light. I could probably have chosen a more subtle amount of light. Panomie and Agatha were a few yards away. The light caught their attention and they stopped walking and turned to face me. He was exactly as Kevin had described. About as tall as a five-year-old with the most hideous face. A wrinkled old man’s face with tiny dead black eyes. Those eyes which held nothing but evil pierced through the light and bore into me. I could feel the malice. He was wearing dirty blue dungarees with a muddy grey shirt beneath. I think what bothered me the most was the lack of shoes on his gigantic feet which were tipped with long talon-like claws. His hands had similar claws on them, only smaller.
“Panomie,” I said in a whisper. There was a flicker of surprise on his face before it returned to its horrid former expression of evil. He let go of Agatha’s hand and began stepping towards me. That’s what I wanted. The woods were pretty big which made trapping him difficult. To counteract this problem I’d placed traps at several locations throughout the area. It was just a matter of getting him into position to spring one. Just a few more steps. Agatha stayed where she was. Her face was expressionless and she made no attempt to move or speak. I guessed she was in a trance of some kind and had no idea what was even happening. It was probably better that way.
He opened his mouth and began to speak in a low gravelly voice that honestly made me shiver. “Do not meddle in my affairs.”
“Affairs? Interesting choice of words for a guy with over six-hundred fiancés. Tell me, have you actually married any of them or do you just take them for some other sick little fetish?”
He stepped forwards and raised his hand and I knew an attack was coming. I twisted my own wrist up at the trees above Panomie. The branches snapped and the iron net fell down. He wasn’t under it. A quick spell pulled him forwards into the path of the net. The combined force of the net and my magic sent him face first into the ground. The heavy metal pinned the little monster down nicely. The net had been expensive but clearly a worthy investment. It was a shame that the other ten had gone to waste. I ran down to my newly captured creature and stood over him beaming with victory. It’s not often that my plans come together so smoothly. I could hear the sirens approaching, the noise sounded like a victory soundtrack.
“Iron chains. Clever huh?” I said proudly.
It took a great effort but he rolled over and gazed up at me from beneath the net. If he had malice in his gaze before now he was purely murderous.
“Clever?” he croaked. The slowness of his voice made my skin crawl. I saw a smile appear in his eyes although his mouth didn’t move. He put the palm of one of his ugly clawed hands on the net. “Iron doesn’t effect gnomes.” I didn’t have time to react. The net flew off him and wrapped itself around me. I screamed in suprise as it took me down to the floor.
“Eddie?!” Richards shouted. He was close.
“Here!” I yelled back. “Quickly!” I struggled against the chains. I tried to blast it off me but it was blocking my magic perfectly. If only I was a gnome. Then Richards was there, pulling it off me. He cast the net aside and helped me to my feet. Uniformed officers were walking out of the trees, torches out and shining around.
“Eddie,” Richards asked, his face wrought with worry. “What happened? Where is she?”
I looked around but neither Panomie nor Agatha was anywhere in sight. “They’re gone,” I said, a mixture of apology and defeat. “He took her.”
11
“What happened?” Richards asked. His face was white and his voice was weak. I didn’t envy him having to explain this to his superiors. The other officers were keeping their distance, obviously not wanting to get too involved in a supernatural affair. I wondered how much he’d told them about tonights happenings.
“The iron didn’t work,” I said, staring stupidly at the chain that had been used against me. Resistance to iron was rare and it was just my luck that I happened to be dealing with a race unaffected by it.
“I have no idea how I’m going to explain this,” Richards said. He looked around as if the trees were going to provide an answer.
“You!” The furious roar came through the trees. I turned and saw Oscar Lilac stomping towards me. His face was purple and his fists were clenched at his sides. “You took my daughter!” Richards darted to stop him but Oscar took him by surprise and floored him with a single punch from his left hand. “You arsehole! Where is she?!”
Other officers were running to restrain him but it was too late. Oscar reached me and I pressed my palm into his chest. He let out a single high-pitched yelp as I sent a blast of magic into his skeleton. I didn’t give him enough to kill him, just hurt him badly. I withdrew my palm and he collapsed to his knees making a funny little squeaking sound.
“Hey!” one of the officers said. A single look from me stopped all the officers in their tracks, even Richards who was now back on his feet. I returned my attention to Oscar who was on his knees, his lip wobbling in pained surprise. I grabbed a fist full of his hair and wrenched his head back so he was looking at me.
“I did not take your daughter.” I enunciated each word carefully with poisonous emphasis. “I tried to save her. If you’d listened to me when I came to you days ago this could have been avoided. Now your daughter is gone and the only person to blame is you. You pathetic excuse for a father.” Oscar started to cry loudly. His tears filled me with loathing.
“Eddie,” Richards said in disgust. I released Oscar and let the snivelling man curl up on the floor. A head motion from Richards sent to officers to pull Oscar safely out of my reach. “What the fuck was that?” Richards demanded. In his disgust he looked like the Richards from a few months ago; the one who’d been hell-bent on putting me behind bars
.
“If he’d listened to me—”
“How would it have gone differently? Would you have known the iron wouldn’t work?” he demanded the way a teacher demands an explanation from their pupils.
“I suppose not,” I muttered. He made a very valid point.
“So what now? This was your plan. What now? How do I clean this up?”
“I don’t know.”
“They’ll probably go to the papers about this.” He pointed at Oscar who was sobbing into one of the officers’ shoulder.
I wondered if Clara and her friends would let that happen. Did her organisation have anything to do with keeping our kind out of the media? A part of me wanted to let things play out to see. The more sensible part did not want to risk it. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the small phial of memory-erasing potion I carried on me. I handed it to Richards. “Get them to drink this and they’ll forget all about it.”
“Really? That easy?” he said in disbelief.
“Yep. The last few hours of their memories will disappear. They’ll think their daughter is is still playing in the garden or whatever. You just need to wait for the call from them when they realise she’s gone.”
“They’re just going to think you did it.”
“Good thing I’ve got an alibi then. I was with you the whole time.” I gave him small grin which he did not appreciate. “How will you explain why you brought all these cops out here?”
“I dunno. I’ll say it was a prank call or something. They’ll go along with it. They helped me cover up the truth when we arrested Rachel,” he said. When they’d arrested Rachel a few months ago they’d seen me throwing a bit of magic around. That was Richards’ first exposure to the supernatural. It was clever of him to use the same officers again. I hadn’t been able to wipe their memories because Richards wouldn’t let me. Apparently cops are off limits. I chose not to tell him I’d wiped a cops memory in the past, after I was finished impersonating him. Sometimes it’s wiser to keep things to yourself.
“So do they know everything?” I asked him. It seemed a bit risky having so many people knowing the truth.
“They know who you are. Or what you are. They know that when I call them for an operation it’s going to be weird.” He paused for a moment and let out a long sigh. “What now, Eddie? Can you track him down again?”
“I’ll figure something out,” I said.
“Keep me updated,” he said.
I got straight to it the next day. Well, if straight to it means after a shower and a big breakfast, then yeah, I got straight to it. You might be thinking that’s a bit cold of me. My plan fucked up and so I should be getting straight to work on rescuing the kiddie. I suppose you’re right… but I just don’t care. Hang on… yes I do care. I guess it’s that dark part of me that doesn’t care. It’s confusing, you know, trying to figure what’s me and what’s the darkness. I wasn’t exactly heroic even before this whole darkness thing. Anyway, back to it.
Once I finished my breakfast I left Muggs and headed to the Market Buildings which were literally a few metres away. I went to Salamander. How to describe Salamander? It calls itself a gift shop. It sells all sorts of things that could be classed as esoteric: gem stones, tarot cards, incense, you know Wiccan stuff. I get a lot of my supplies from Salamander. It does other stuff too, but nothing I’m interested in.
I stepped inside and caught a massive whiff of the incense burning. The shaggy haired man who looked like he hadn’t yet left the seventies beamed at me. “Eddie, need some more supplies?” he said. He was always pleased to see me. I wasn’t sure whether it was because I was a regular or if he genuinely liked me.
“In a way,” I replied. I was looking more for information than I was supplies.
“What’ll it be? Stones? Powders?”
“I’m looking for more of the back room stuff,” I said.
“Oh,” he said with a knowing nod. “Go on through then.”
“Thanks.” I walked to the back of the store where a wall was decorated from ceiling to floor with several thick tapestries of African wildlife and floral patterns. Most people assumed there was only a wall behind them, those in the know knew that there was actually a door. I grabbed the tapestries, checked that nobody else was in the shop and then slipped behind them.
I know what you’re thinking now. Why didn’t I come here when I had to deal with Killian or Rachel? Well, let me tell you. I needed power to deal with them and you can’t find that here. I only needed information this time and the backroom has information in abundance. I did, in fact, come here to get some help writing the ritual which made Killian invincible, I just didn’t tell you at the time. And no, before you ask, there isn’t anything that can help me destroy the darkness here, I’ve already checked.
Behind the tapestry was a small library. The walls were covered with shelves of books from floor to ceiling. There was another door at the back, almost hidden among the books, but I wouldn’t be needing to go any farther than this room today. In the centre of the room, behind an old antique desk, sat a young man with short light hair. People always expect library-types to be old and I find it refreshing when I visit young Clarke. I wasn’t sure how young he actually was. He looked younger than me but that meant nothing in the supernatural world.
“Eddie, how nice it is to see you,” he said politely. Clarke was always pleasant.
“Likewise, Clarke. How’s it going?” I said.
“Now, now, let’s not waste each other’s time with pleasantries. What do you need?” That was one of the things I loved about Clarke. No bullshit, straight to business. He valued time as much as I did.
“I need to know how to kill a gnome,” I said.
“Gnomes?” he repeated ponderously. “Never had much interest in gnomes.”
“Do you have anything?”
“Let me see.” He opened the ginormous book that sat atop his desk and began flicking through the aged pages. “Let me see, let me see,” he said over and over as he scrolled through. “Ah, here we go.” He stood up and approached the shelves to his right. He pulled out the step ladders and set them up noisily. I waited patiently for him to retrieve the book I needed. He returned to his desk with it and began turning each page carefully. Clarke never let anybody else handle his books. He treated them better than he treated people and he treated people really well.
“Here we go. There isn’t much. It just says that gnomes envy and hate the fairy races. The gnomes have always wanted to be in the fairy circle but were spurned due to their ugliness.”
“Really?” I was surprised. I’d seen a fairy sub-species and it looked pretty much like a hairy lump of snot. Panomie was ugly but he was a princess compared to that thing.
“Really. Apparently they hate imps in particular. It says, when the fairies were deciding which races would be included in the classification the last space was to be given to either the imps or the gnomes and the imps tricked their way in.”
“That is… ridiculous. I’ve heard a lot of strange things in my time but that is without a doubt the worst. It was just a really shit fairy tale,” I said with disdain.
“I didn’t write it.” Clarke shrugged and then closed the book.
“Wait, is that it?” I asked.
“It is.”
“That didn’t help at all!”
“Sorry,” he shrugged again. “You could always find an imp and see if they know how to kill a gnome.”
“I think I’ll give that a miss,” I said. “Thanks anyway.” I turned and departed through the curtain. What I saw on the other side took me completely by surprise. “Ashley,” I said in shock. The woman looking at the gem stones looked around and her eyes widened when she saw me.
“Eddie,” Ashley said quietly. Her voice was as sweet as I remembered. As was her face. She was a fine specimen. I know it’s offensive to refer to women as specimens and I don’t care.
I went to ask how she’d been but was stopped by the shocking sight of a small
child who stepped out from behind her legs. My jaw dropped instead.
12
Logic kicked in pretty fast. The kid obviously wasn’t hers for a few reasons. One, she’d never mentioned having a kid before. Two, I’d last seen her three months ago and she hadn’t been pregnant. Three, the kid was at least five. Four, it looked nothing like her.
“This is my cousin’s daughter, Leah. She’s staying with me for a while,” Ashley explained when she noticed me staring at the kid.
“Mum travels around a lot,” Leah said.
“I see. So you stay with relatives a lot?” I said. I don’t know why I asked that, it wan’t even like I cared but sometimes the questions just come naturally.
“No, usually she takes me with her,” said Leah.
“Must be nice?”
Leah shook her head. “They only travel around England really,” Ashley said.
“Why?”
“She lives in newly built houses. Testing them out and stuff,” said Ashley. I could tell by the way she was standing that she wanted to finish the conversation and get away. I wasn’t going to let her.
“That’s a job?”
“Apparently so.” Ashley looked about awkwardly. “Well, we should be going. Stuff to do.”
I nodded. “Of course.” I won’t lie, I was disappointed. I was hoping she’d ask me to grab a coffee or something. Maybe we could try being friends again but apparently not. “Wait, Ash,” I said as a thought occurred to me.
“Yeah?” she said, turning back to me.
