by K. F. Breene
"Alright ladies, we’re over at the other side if you wanna join us. Candace and Ty showed up finally." He nodded at me and walked away.
Lump resumed her indifferent face and drank her beer.
“Well, at least there are definitely only two of us chasing Adam,” Flem said.
“One. You. I’m after that brown haired one with freckles,” Claire amended.
“Which?” I asked.
“John? From New York?”
I shrugged. No idea. Everyone else did, too. Claire seemed unperturbed. Flem elated.
I said, "It would be rude not to go meet up with Candace. She is glued to Ty these days, but maybe we can wrestle her away."
Everyone nodded, and we climbed out of the booth, except for Claire who caught the edge of the seat with her shoe and tumbled onto the ground, landing flat on her face. I nearly pissed myself I was laughing so hard. Lump was bending over as well. Flem was pointing.
Some random guy hustled over to help Claire up, thinking it some huge accident. Claire, hauled up by her arm from the helpful man, shook herself free, wobbling to a stop against the table.
“Would ya feck off?” she yelled indignantly. “You’re gonna make a scene, like! Sure, I was just testing my sea legs!”
She pushed past him, laughing as hard as we were. Claire was no stranger to falling on her face. Or passing out at the bar. So far, she was keeping up with Adam drink-for-drink. It was probably just about to unravel, though. Adam, too.
In our wake was a bewildered guy half worried Claire was hurt, and half worried he’d done something wrong. We didn’t bother to notice him confusedly wander away to a chorus of male laughter.
We arrived at the booth were Candace was sitting too close to Ty, her hand placidly resting on his leg. When she saw me she beamed.
“Jessica!” she exclaimed, waving.
Adam surveyed our crew, his eyes resting on Lump for a second longer than normal as a smile flickered. He leaned back in mock relaxation.
Lump noticed but paid him no more attention than the unknown next to him. She thoroughly put the issue behind her, and once she was over it, she rarely let it bother her again.
Adam’s smile extinguished. Apparently he was expecting fireworks only to realize someone pissed on his sparklers.
“You all look so pretty!” Candace yelled, getting out of the booth to hug me.
“Holy hell, Jessica,” Ty said, looking at me, then sweeping his eyes across the rest of the girls. “It’s like a forest made entirely of legs and cleavage.”
Flem did a spit take and sprayed champagne cocktail all over Moose and his girlfriend.
“Sorry!” she said, putting her hand on Moose’s shoulder. She gave Moose’s girlfriend another sorry. “It was funny, though.”
“Shots!” I announced. “Candace, you’re coming with us. Ty, you’re not. Flem doesn’t realize your jokes only get worse.”
“Oh yeah, thanks for ratting me out,” Ty said, looking odd without Candace leaning against his body. The two were freaking inseparable. Which was only cute when you were in high school.
At the bar we did an easy shot, and ordered a Tequila for Adam and the boys. We figured we’d give Claire a fighting chance. Being that Adam was only tipping into drunk, and Claire was firmly entrenched, she didn’t complain.
“Wow, your dresses are so pretty!” Candace said.
“Do you ever have anything negative to say?” Jane asked with a quirked eyebrow.
“Excuse Jane, she is a bit snarky lately,” I tempered.
“And horny. Where did Brad go?” Flem asked.
“He got stuck down at the lower bar with Jim,” Candace made a big show of choking down her shot. “I heard about you girls from the bouncer, then from every single guy that greeted Ty and I on the way up. And they were right, you girls are knock-outs!”
“Nice to know we’ve been talked about!” Lump beamed.
“Let’s go earn our reputation. Dance!” Jane retorted.
We towed Candace to the dance floor, assuring her that Ty would hear where we went from everyone else, then see her from the railing. The fog had come in, and I wasn't at all sure what was going on. I did recognize that the good sir bouncer helped us down the stairs. We were all clutching him and giggling. He probably never had so many girls grabbing onto him at one time. He tried to look all serious the whole time, but that crack in his crater face, when we all reached the bottom and each gave him a kiss on the cheek, gave him away.
Once on the dance floor, we did some moves that would probably make us sore in the morning. I got my ass grabbed, twice, and I took it as a tribute to my hard work at the gym. Caring was too hard, and I was too drunk. Especially because Lump took it as a green light to punch him in the stomach and then kiss him on the cheek to make the “I just got beat up by a girl” pill go down easier.
It was all going swimmingly for a while. For a while being the operative words.
I knew there was trouble when I saw Adam, William, Moose and Ty heading toward us on the dance floor with warrior faces. William, I knew, was way over protective these days, and Moose and Adam would get riled up if any of our feminine crew was in dire straits, but Ty wasn’t prone to overreaction. Him pissed meant there was real trouble.
I stopped and looked around me. Claire and Flem were with me. The others weren’t.
Where the hell did Lump go?
I couldn’t remember how long it was since she was dancing next to me.
I threaded my way through the grinding bodies in the direction the boys were headed. It wasn’t until I was nearly on the opposite side of the dance floor that I saw more guys from our party. Names unknown. Mostly.
The main focus was Lump, who was talking animatedly to three guys. Candace was trying to get her shirt straightened out, tears streaming down her face, and Jane was rubbing her backside with a helluva scowl. Looks like someone got grabby and Lump was sorting it out before the bouncers got there. No new news.
I headed over, even though I wouldn’t be helpful or needed, and even though I would have rather just kept dancing. Claire and Flem, having followed me, shrugged and followed along, even though they were probably also thinking this was something for the bouncers to deal with instead of us.
Speaking of, where were the bouncers? In L.A., bouncers would be swarming the floor by now. Men were the same in any town, but they acted less foul if they didn't think they could get away with it. It seemed as though here they obviously could.
Which meant it gave Adam, Moose, William and Ty, not to mention all their friends, which numbered a great few, reason to fight.
The last thing a bunch of drunk men needed was a reason to fight.
Claire saw it, too. “Not good, Jess!” she yelled over the music. “We shouldn’t make it worse.”
There was already a crowd gathering when we got within arm’s reach and saw that the star attraction was the guy that groped me earlier.
“Gonna be a fight, Jess,” Claire warned.
“What do we do?” I shouted.
Lump was wasted. She could barely stand. Which meant she was very low on control. Which meant a fight could really, seriously end in permanent damage to whoever touched her. Worse if someone touched any of us. Not good.
What made it worse still was that Candace was crying. You get a lot of drunk, pissed off men together and add a crying girl that has been sexually wronged somehow, then add her boyfriend to the mix...oh man. I wanted to get out of there. Back to a booth and a beer. Or a bed.
I was way too drunk for this. We all were.
And here came the cavalry. Adam walked up right behind Lump, grabbed her by her shoulders as he had done to me once, and put her behind him as he might an oversized doll. She said “hey!” or something to that effect, but was too drunk to do much about it.
Flem and I stepped up, Claire guarding us from whoever was behind.
"What happened?" I asked, desperate to be heard over the loud music. I wanted a quick risk assessm
ent, to collect Jane and Candace, and to get the hell out of there.
Lump answered, "That asshole guy pulled your friend’s shirt down and grabbed her tit. What a dick! He was obviously looking for a fight, though. Where the hell are the bouncers?"
Adam was yelling something. We all turned our attention that way. The muscles in Adam’s shoulders, back and arms were rippling, tensing for action. William was pushed in beside him, putting himself into the fight, with an equally hard and delicious physique. I didn’t know Adam too well, but William I did, and he was two seconds from caving someone’s head in.
“Holy-guacamole, batman. That man is packing,” Lump said, looking at Adam’s taught back with big eyes. “He’s as big as yours.”
“Not the time, Lump,” Flem tempered. “Or the man. I totally called dibs on that, and Jess firmly has the other one.”
“Oh yeah. But that other guy, Moose, is taken. And too nice for me. Him and his girlfriend will never work, though. Mark my words. But that guy, there. Whoooeee, I bet he’s sassy in bed. I like to get my hair pulled.”
“Seriously,” Flem said, putting her hand on Lump’s shoulder to emphasize her point, “I called him.”
“Girls,” I placated, noticing William gesturing angrily with a glance back at me, “we are in the middle of a crowd, with disco lights and loud music, with my boyfriend ready to kick some ass, and all you can talk about is Adam?”
“Shut up, hooker,” Flem waved her hand in the air, leaning on Lump, who leaned back. They looked like an A-frame. “You have a hot boyfriend. I want one, too. I called Adam. The power of dibs is absolute.”
“Yeah, but,” Lump said, “that power doesn’t follow you out of the general area.”
“But once I get him, he’s off-limits.”
“But you have to get him.”
“Working on it.”
“Girls!” I shouted. “No one is getting anyone if they all go to jail!”
They both turned and looked at me with bleary eyes. We were all so fucked. No more open bars! We weren’t adult enough to handle them.
Just then a bouncer finally showed up! It was the guy that helped us down the stairs. My favorite. He was asking what was happening.
Candace stepped up and told him that they swarmed her and pulled her top down. Thank goodness Lump stepped in to help her, she said. Lump got them away from her, but apparently got slapped or punched or pushed or some damn thing in the process.
A wall of man turned as one, eyes finding Lump as she leaned against, and was held up by, Flem. Adam stepped closer, their dispute forgotten, and gently tilted her face toward him. Her eyes had been mostly closed, using her lean-to structure with Flem as a means to get a little shut eye, but when she felt hands on her her eyes snapped open and arms went flying. Before anyone knew what was happening, Adam had his arm roughly yanked away and turned around behind his back.
That was about when he realized what was happening and put on the breaks—the breaks being his muscles.
Based on the fact that Lump was so wasted she lost track of what was going on, when the touch was gone, so was her worry. She let go of Adam and went back to leaning on Flem.
Hand on his shoulder, Adam had a shocked, and somewhat shaken, look on his face. It didn’t deter him, though. He leaned close again, careful not to touch, and then pointed out to William a quickly bruising cheek.
“Shit—she must be langers if someone got a hit off,” Claire noticed behind me.
The look of rage that crossed Adam’s face was damn scary. He didn’t like when a woman got hurt. Which was an understatement. I should know.
Losing track of the drama, I let my mind wander. “I don’t feel that drunk.”
I was lightly jostled, realizing William had backed up until he was right in front of me. Playing hero, no doubt. It wasn't my problem at the minute. Keeping on my feet was.
“Really?” Flem asked with nearly crossed eyes.
“Well, not as drunk as her,” I amended as I threw a thumb Lump’s way.
“That’s because we are all the same drunk, so you feel sober,” Claire helped.
The logic was good on that one. Which meant, we were all going to hate our lives tomorrow.
Directly after that thought, William grabbed me, picked me up, and threw me over his shoulder. My dress went flying. I was bounced and jostled, then set down in a seat, at an empty table, a million feet from the dance floor.
“Stay here!” William shouted in my face. He looked mad.
I hope he’s not mad at me!
Lump was set down next to me a second later, trailed by a stumbling Flem.
“I was just carried by your boyfriend,” Lump said with a hazy smile. “Fuck Jess, I am totally wasted. What did you put in those drinks?”
“Alcohol. You got hit in the face, did you know?”
“No, did I? Shit. Did I hit him back?”
“I have no idea.”
“Think so,” Flem mumbled, aiming her butt for the seat next to us, missing mostly, catching the edge then falling in a heap to the ground.
We wheezed out a laugh.
Instead of trying again, Flem continued to lay where she fell. She said, “You got him. Or one of ‘em. Bloody lip.”
“That all?” Lump asked, putting her head on the table.
“I couldn’t focus for any longer than that. I pro’ly need some water. Fuck! Open bars are a bad‘dea. Did I not tell you? Did I not say we needed p’ram’ters?”
“You are always right Flem, yes. Let’s go home,” I said.
I got up with one thing in mind: home. Need to go home. Drunk. Need bed.
It was then that I noticed a giant boxing match on the dance floor. Fists were swinging, bodies wrestling. Through my addled brain, I saw William in the thick of it, holding onto some guys hair and throwing punches.
“William’s fighting. S’not good,” I said to no one in particular.
My favorite bouncer rushed past, dragging someone out. Another group shot past him, yelling and screaming. More people fighting on the dance floor.
“This is a shit show,” I reflected, still to no one in particular. “But I gotta go home.”
“Wait for Jillie, Wess,” Lump mumbled into the table top.
“Why does no one else call him William?” I asked, sitting back down because the exit was blocked by another fight, this time with Adam and Ty in the thick of it.
“Because of how his eyes get all soft when you say it,” Flem said from the floor. “It’s gross. Also, it seems like that name is reserved just for you. Everyone says he is over-the-moon about you, you know. That he is totally pussy whipped, and doesn’t care.”
“Hog wash.” I dropped my head to the table with a thunk. “He gives as good as he gets.”
“They think you rule the roast.”
“Roast?” Lump said, raising her head. “Do you have food? I’m hungry.”
“They don’t blame him, though, from what I’ve heard,” Flem continued. She was talking to herself at this stage. Or just talking because she forgot to shut up. “Fools. But you’re good. You’re a good friend. Probably a great girlfriend to him. Willie sees it. We see it. Still, y’all are gross.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I need to go home.”
I stood up again. I needed my purse. Purse had cab money.
William. Shit. I needed to grab him, too.
I stumbled off toward the far stairs in search of my hand bag, only to be stopped by two giant paws.
“Hands off Daniel-son, or my drunk friend Lump will kick you,” I yelled at the guy blocking my way.
“Jessica, where you goin’?”
I pointed at the floor. “Oh, hello, Adam. I see you wore your old ass boots for a night out. Not that I’m commenting. I need my handbag, my William, and my bed. Drunk.”
“Okay, we’ll grab those things. Willie is just wrapping things up. You gotta go sit down with the rest of the gir—oh shit. Now, where the hell are they goin’?”
“Po
tty mouth.” I turned.
Lump and Flem, leaning on each other again, were heading for the door. Home.
“Those bitches!”
“Jess, are you alright?”
It was Moose with a scratch on his cheek.
“No! Those whores are planning to just walk out of here without my expensive handbags! Last time they borrow from me, I will tell you that!”
“Moose, round up them girls and get ‘em to the booth,” Adam said. “Get that girl Lump to organize it. She’s drunk, but she’ll get everyone set. I’ll get this one. Willie will hang us if something happens to her.”
“I am not a freaking piece of luggage Adam!” I yelled.
The last thing I heard, before Adam scooped me up, was Moose chortling with laughter. Ass!
Chapter Twelve
Some indiscriminate amount of time later, Lump and I were walking through the packed bar on our way out of the club. Before then, all the girls, Moose’s included, had been sitting, or in Claire’s case sleeping, at the booth where Moose, Adam and Ty put us. We were not allowed alcohol, for which I was thankful and Jane was pissed, but were given more water than our bladders could hold. Our jail sentence consisted of drinking water and making trips to the bathroom. It wasn’t very fun, but we were too drunk to do anything about it.
When we were given the green light by a bouncer to head outside to meet the boys, we stumbled our way through the still crowded club. All I heard on our way was, "I keep tellin'em we gotta get more bouncers! An older crowd used to come to this club and there weren't no trouble. With the remodel and this younger crowd, though, fulla piss 'n vinegar, this done keep happenin'. Soon no one’ll want to come here no more!" The bouncer shook his head angrily.
The cold bite of the evening air was a welcomed relief to the hot bar we were leaving. It cleared the head somewhat. I was still mighty drunk, but manageable. I wanted William, my warm bed, and sleep.
Maybe drunken sex. We’d see.
