Seizing Control

by Kylie Hillman

  He tries to hug me to him but I push against him, punching and kicking any part of him I can reach. He refuses to let go, taking everything I give him without complaint, instead holding me to him tightly.

  “Don't touch me, get off! Don't fucking touch me!” I tell him, loudly. “You gave him the ammunition he needed to blackmail me. Why would you do that?”

  Timber wrestles Mik off of me and I crumble to the ground. Dad moves in to pick me up, gathering me in his arms and holding me to his chest. Tears well in my eyes but they won't come. I'm beyond tears with his admission. It feels as if he has ripped my heart out of my chest and is walking around squeezing it in his fist. I consider myself a tough woman but the last two days have brought me to my knees. I can't take much more. I'm ready to splinter into a million, unidentifiable pieces.

  The ringing of a phone brings an end to current proceedings. The brother guarding the gate comes sprinting towards us. It's Dad’s phone. He stand me on my feet and walks away from us all.

  “Beast,” he grunts after he connects the call. He’s quiet as he listens to the person on the other end. Relief floods his face before it’s replaced by naked rage.

  “Not fucking likely!” he roars into the phone.

  “That's your final terms?” he asks after listening for a minute or so.

  “It'll do for now but there will be payback. It's up to you what side you choose when it comes.”

  Dad snarls at the response he receives to his proclamation.

  “Yeah, good fucking decision. I’ll be in touch once I’ve checked him over.”

  He ends the call and faces us all with a blank expression.

  “Smiley, I need you and your men to take the two in the shed and leave them at the Maverick’s end of Leeds Parade. They need to be there within hour–the hourho. You don't need to meet with anyone, just dump them and go.”

  Dad directs the President of the Emerald chapter without gracing us with one iota of his attention. I don't understand his order. Why are they taking Brendan and Stu into Mavericks territory?

  “What the fuck?” Mik poses the question on everyone's lips. “You're letting them go?”

  Ignoring the questions, Dad continues. “Unfortunately, they need to be alive so be fucking careful with them. You can leave them in their van. Saves us getting rid of it.”

  Smiley nods and gestures his members to follow him.

  “Deal with the mess in the shed ASAP.” Dad yells after them.

  “Will do, Prez.”

  Dad finally addresses the rest of us.

  “Joel is going to be dropped off at the compound in an hour. We need to be there. Let's get the fuck out of here.”

  He gently clasps my hand in his and looks into my eyes. His earnest expression transmits his love for me in a way he has always been unable to tell me with words.

  “Right now, baby girl, we’ve got bigger fish to fry and here is not the place to do it. I'll help you deal with Mad Dog once I've got your brother safe. I promise you that I'm not letting Mad Dog or Brendan get away with what they've done to you.”

  “I know you won’t, Dad.”

  “Get her helmet and jacket,” he barks at no one in particular.

  He leads me to his bike, both of us ignoring the disgruntled chattering of the assembled brothers who are not happy with the turn of events or that their President has made a deal without letting them know the details.

  "Prez?”

  Smiley beckons Dad from the door of the shed. Dad heads over to him, leaving me by his bike on my own.

  “Princess, you need to believe him.”

  Timber hands me the helmet and jacket I left on Mik's bike.

  “He wanted to tell you so fucking bad. He was going to when you got out of hospital and a heap of fucking times after that. I would tell him not to or Benji would. We both knew you’d shut him out if he confessed.”

  I glare at Timber. We literally grew up together even though he is older than me. It breaks my heart that he has been one of my best friends for a long time yet he is telling me that he helped keep this from me for four bloody years.

  “None of you had any right to keep this from me.”

  I want to strangle all of them but I'm not sure who to start with.

  Mik?

  Benji?

  Timber?

  Kyle?

  Between all of them they have managed to make a bad situation worse. I now know that I can't trust any of them. Their words mean nothing, everything has been a lie to control me.

  “If I chose to shut him or any of you out, it was my choice. Not yours! Not Kyle’s! Not bloody Benji’s! And definitely not Mik's! I’m the one who was hurt!”

  We are drawing stares from everyone so, in true Lainey style, I flip them all off and tell them to take a picture because it lasts longer. The resulting chuckles lighten my mood a tiny bit.

  “I didn't want you to shut him out because you fucking needed him so bad. He put you back together,” Timber continues earnestly. His eyes are pleading with me to listen.

  He is right, I did need Mik but I don't care about that at the moment. The man I agreed to marry, to build a life with, lied to me about something it was really important for me to know. Whether he accidentally caused Benji’s problem or not is only part of the issue. He lied to control me and so I would stay with him which makes him almost as bad as Brendan in my eyes. I have had enough of men trying to control me for their own desires or for what they think is ‘my own good’. I’m not sure if I can forgive this.

  “So what if he did? He helped break me so he kinda had an obligation.”

  The sharp intake of breath I hear behind me tells me that Mik has overheard my horrible declaration. I feel like a bitch but he deserves everything I throw at him. He needs to share some of the pain I'm feeling. If he had just stepped up and told Benji to fuck off, dating Brendan could have become a small blip in my life story instead of a defining event.

  Turning my back on Timber, I pull on my jacket and helmet. He pauses for a moment as if he wants to say something before he changes his mind and pats me on the shoulder instead. I freeze him out until he gives up and heads for his bike.

  Dad returns and after I have slipped on his bike behind him, he leads us all back to the compound.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Lainey

  Present Day

  Where is he?

  We’ve been waiting inside the compound for over four hours for Joel’s return. The Mavericks of Mayhem are late and everyone is on tenterhooks. Brendan and Stu were left at the Mavericks drop point on time but we have not received Joel as organised.

  The officers have spent the time locked in the chapel, organising the rest of the chapters to head to Brisbane and calling in favours from allied MC’s, patch overs and other friends with an axe to grind against the Mavericks. The brothers not taking part in the planning have been waiting in the bar with an anxious Wendy and myself.

  The loud rumble of a group of Harley’s finally permeates the tension surrounding us. The officers run quickly into the bar as everyone grabs their weapon of choice and heads for the door.

  As SAA, Timber leads the way out. I've been delegated back to just an Old Lady since our return and have been ordered to stay put with Wendy and my remaining brothers. I was also left with strict instructions not to venture outside no matter what.

  The unexpected commotion that starts outside gains my full attention; it doesn't sound like just a simple drop off. I hear shouting and gun shots before Harley's race away, sounding like rumbling thunder. I edge my way towards the door they left through so I can make out actual words. I need to know what's happening.

  "He's been fucking shot in the gut.”

  “Fuck! We need an ambulance.”

  “They're on their way.”

  Racing outside without thinking, I find five men huddled around the prone body of my little brother. There’s dark red blood pooling beneath him. Mik is performing compressions, yelling at my D
ad to help but he’s frozen, staring with blank eyes at Joel. I elbow two big bodies out of my way and race to him so I can apply pressure to his wound and start resuscitation.

  Mik and I work together like a well-oiled machine until the ambulance arrives. Two male paramedics push us out of the way, picking up where we leave off. Joel has a weak heartbeat but he is barely breathing. I have applied every ounce of first aid training I have to my brother but it's now out of my hands. I send a prayer up to our mother asking that she be looking after Joel today as they load him into the ambulance. I can't lose him.

  After a speedy discussion, it’s decided that Wendy will go with him in the ambulance to the hospital with a two bike escort. I want to go but it's deemed too dangerous so I'm forced to stay. The rest of the family will follow shortly once the group who left to chase who did this have returned and they have enough brothers to secure the compound and the hospital.

  “What happened?” I ask Mik, wrapping my arms around his waist when he returns from cleaning himself up. I burrow into his chest.

  My anger and hurt has evaporated for the moment. I need him to hold me. I need his strength. The strength with which he returns my embrace tells me he needs me just as much.

  “We don't fucking know. They threw him out of a van near the gate, shot him and sped off before we could get to him. Timber’s gone after them with our enforcers but I haven't heard anything yet.”

  He rubs my back as the tears that have been threatening since I saw Joel on the ground finally begin to flow.

  “He’ll be okay. He's the most stubborn of all of us. If anyone can survive this, it's him. You know he'll want to have this out with your father face-to-face.”

  A small smile splits my face at his words, slowing my sobbing. Joel really is stubborn, his tenacious personality an ongoing joke in our family. It's said that he makes me look reasonable. If anyone can get through this, it's him. I pray.

  “You did good, Angel. When everyone else was panicking, you stood firm and looked after Joel. He owes you his life.”

  “He owes you too, Mik. I would have been useless without you.”

  Mik kisses my forehead in response.

  “Lainey, I…”

  Whatever he's about to say is cut off by the roar of motorcycles pulling into the compound. The enforcers are back. Dad comes storming outside, the screen door slamming behind him.

  “Tell me you caught the fuckers?” he howls, completely out of control.

  Timber and the brothers following him park their bikes, two enforcers immediately taking up guard duties with the prospects at our gates. They are all heavily armed and appear ready for anything. I’ve been through lockdowns before but I have never seen anything like this. Something big is threatening the Club.

  “It was the Mavericks but we can't get close to them right now. They’re locked down as well.” Timber replies in a tight voice. “We chased them all the way back. They opened their gates wide enough to let their contingent in but they locked down again straight away. Shot at us when we got too close.”

  “FUCK!”

  Dad kicks over one of the empty kegs from the bar as he roars with anger and frustration. The first keg falling has a domino effect, knocking the rest over one by one. Not satisfied with the wreckage he's already caused, he moves on to kicking the Club’s van as hard as his tree trunk legs will let him.

  I can tell by the blackness in his eyes that he's lost it. He is not in MC President mode anymore, he's all angry father. I nod at Mik and Timber for help. With precision, they work together to pin his arms to his sides and bring him to the ground. They have had to do this before so they are experienced at getting him under control quickly. Even though they moved fast, his strong legs have already made two decent sized dents in the side of the van. I rush over to him and wrap my arms around his neck.

  “Dad, stop it please. You have to stop.”

  He calms enough to hug me to his heaving chest but I don't signal Mik and Timber to release him just yet. When I spy Matty and Lachie with their heads peeking through the door watching our father’s explosion, I beckon them over to us. We huddle together on the ground with our arms around our now sniffling dad. I nod at Mik and Timber to move away.

  “Dad we’re all here for you. But you need to be here for all of us as well, especially Joel. We will worry about payback when Joel’s better. Losing you temper isn't going to help.”

  “What’s happened to Joel?” Benji’s voice interrupts.

  Everyone swings around in surprise to find my twin standing near us. He is dressed in his football tracksuit with his backpack slung over his shoulder. He has been escorted inside the yard by Connor and Murray, who are armed and pissed off. I didn't even hear a vehicle arrive over the ruckus our father was making.

  "Shit’s gone down. Joel’s been shot,” Mik answers before I can.

  I’m still gazing stupidly at him until it finally sinks in that Benji is here when he should still be in Western Australia. Rising to my feet and dusting myself off, my brothers and father follow suit.

  Dad sends Matty and Lachie back inside with the rest of the wives and kids, though they protest that they are old enough to know what's going on. In this instance I agree with Dad, Matty has just turned seventeen and Lachie is fifteen. They don’t need to know the details of what happened to me and they definitely don’t need to see any further blowouts tonight.

  “What are you doing here? Did you miss your game?” Dad questions him, any sign of welcome or concern for his wellbeing completely absent. Trust Dad to have his priorities straight, he's always been more worried about Benji’s football career than he has been about Benji as a person. I’ve firmly believed for a long time that Dad’s overbearing attitude towards football is half the reason Benji sought solace in drugs. Not that I will ever possess enough fortitude to tell our father that.

  “Ah no, I played. Good to see you were all riveted to the screen in awe of my winning prowess,” he jokes.

  It falls flat since none of us are in the right frame of mind to laugh. His expression sobers as he continues. “This morning, I booked flights for straight after my game because I received a very cryptic message from Joel, telling me I might be needed at home tonight. That was before Connor went all G.I. Joe on my ass after you spoke to him during my match.”

  He digs into the pocket of his tracksuit pants, pulling out a bright green USB. He waves it at Mik and I, his eyebrows rising to his hairline when he gets a good look at my battered face and bruised neck.

  “Plus I had this pushed under the door of my hotel room when I was playing. The shit on it has me thinking that it might be time to come clean about my problem.”

  That reminds me. “I forgot to tell you all last night but there was a USB in our letterbox yesterday as well. It was in my handbag so I don't know where it is now or what was on it.”

  “Fuck, Princess. You should have said. Now we know it's been a setup from the start.”

  I blanch at Timber’s statement. It's definitely starting to appear that way.

  Mik and Timber exchange knowing looks with Benji. I stay quiet, letting Mik tell him what's happened in his absence. I don't have the energy to deal with any further drama today.

  “The Club got one as well so we've already had to fill everyone in about everything, brother. Fucking Brendan had Lainey snatched from our house yesterday.”

  Benji looks stricken at this news. I give him a tight smile as Mik continues to fill him in on what's happened since he flew out for his game yesterday. The anguish creasing my twins face mimics what I have been feeling since I found out I'd been abducted at Brendan's request.

  "Wendy's just sent me a message. Joel's in emergency surgery so we need to get over there to support them.” Our father interrupts, looking a lot more stable than he was five minutes ago.

  Shoving his phone back into his pocket, Dad motions for us to get a move on as he presumably heads inside to organise transport for Matty and Lachie and a security detail
for here and the hospital.

  As Dad disappears, Benji gathers me in a bear hug and whispers in my ear, “Do they know what he did to you or do they just know I'm a druggie?

  “They know everything, Benj.”

  "Fuck Mads, how are you coping with that? I can't believe this shit’s going down again.”

  I deliberately ignore his first question—I don't want to get into specifics yet—instead answering his second in a dry tone. “Me either.”

  Mik motions Benji over to him and I take that as my opportunity to escape. I feel stupid for running straight into his arms the second something bad happened but old habits die hard. My actions don't mean that I am not angry at him or that I have forgiven him in the slightest. I'm afraid that he isn't going to see it that way.

  If I don't get my emotions under control soon, he is going to end up receiving mixed signals and I don't want to be accused of playing games. Quietly heading towards the entrance, I decide I need to organize to get my car brought here so I can get myself and my little brothers to the hospital instead of relying on rides on the backs of motorcycles.

  “Sneaking off are we, Princess?” Timber asks me quietly.

  Shooting him a filthy look, I continue heading inside. He stops me by wrapping a gigantic paw around my arm.

  “I get you're pissed but you are cutting your nose off to spite your face right now. Just remember pride comes before the fall.”

  "When did you become such a dickhead, Timber?"

  “When you decided to react to the news like a silly girl instead of the strong woman I thought I knew.”

  I send him a one finger salute. Fuck him, they're in the wrong not me. It takes all my self- control not to slam the door shut behind me.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Lainey

  Present Day

  “Mik told me that you know he hooked me up with my dealer, Mads.”