Seizing Control

by Kylie Hillman

  “Yes, I've heard the story a million times.” I narrow my eyes. I hate being reminded of how my father’s meddling opened the door for Brendan to enter my life. Mik also hates hearing about it because my father has created an ongoing family joke about his lack of balls when it came to pursuing me. Hopefully he'll rethink it now he knows the full story.

  “Well can you guess how Beast has reacted to being told I was fucking you behind that piece of shit’s back? After I promised him I'd stay away.”

  The implications sink in and I push myself off the bed. Bloody Benji and his bullshit! How dare he betray me with lies and blame all of his mistakes on Mik. I'm going to set him and my father straight right now.

  Mik pulls me back onto the bed. Holding me tightly, he tilts my head until I'm facing him. The stern look his face silences me almost immediately. He’s so serious with his eyebrows drawn together and his lips held in a tight line.

  “Calm down,” he instructs me. “You're gonna achieve nothing by storming in there and ripping them a new one.”

  “It'll get the truth out there.” I snort. “And it will bloody well make me feel better.”

  “I get ya but my biggest problem right now is the rat problem. Once I've got that sorted, I'm happy for you to come down on Beast and Benji.”

  Rolling my eyes at him, I open my mouth to argue but he pins my lips together with his fingers, making me purse my lips in a ridiculous version of duck face. His voice is hard but slightly pleading as he demands my compliance.

  “Lainey, I need you to promise me that you’ll keep your mouth shut until I tell you it's okay for you to open it! I need you to go…”

  Jerking my head out of his hold, I interrupt what he is telling me when I slap his chest irately and jump to my feet. I lean over him and point my finger in his face, ranting at him loudly.

  “You don't get to tell me when I can defend myself, Mik. I don't give a shit about your rat problem. If my arsehat of a twin is running around telling lies about me, it's my prerogative to put a stop to it right now!”

  Filled with anger, I poke my finger hard into his chest to emphasise my point.

  How dare he think he can boss me around like this? I thought he agreed to stop controlling me? I'm still lost in my anger when with gritted teeth and fury on his stormy face, Mik pushes me out of his face so he can rise to his feet. The intensity of his push surprises and my first instinct is to slap him hard across the face.

  After I hit him, I fall still in shock at my reaction. Breathing heavily, I try to make sense of what just happened. Mik has never touched me in anger before and I'm not sure what I've said that would warrant him pushing me like that.

  I've always been argumentative and feisty but that’s one of his favourite things about me. Intuitively I know that he didn't push me to hurt me—that he only did it to get me out of his way—but I still can't believe it happened. Just like I can't believe I slapped him. What's happening to us?

  As I'm struggling to understand his uncharacteristic behaviour and my reaction to it, Mik grabs me around the waist and slams me onto my back on our bed. Growling savagely, he climbs over me and straddles my hips, pushing my arms above my head and pinning them to the bed with one of his big hands. He holds my cheeks with the other one, forcing me to look into his angry eyes.

  “I need you to keep your fucking mouth shut, Lainey. This is more important than your bloody ego! The whole Club’s being threatened and I need you to stay quiet so I can keep you fucking safe. Let me keep you safe this time! If you draw attention to yourself, I don't know how I can keep you out of it. Angel, I can't let you get hurt again.”

  I can hear Mik's angry voice and in the back on my mind I know it is Mik who is straddling me. I even know, deep down, that while he’s angry at the moment he would never hurt me but I can’t stop the flashbacks from overtaking me. The only thing I am conscious off at the moment is the numerous times that I have been in this exact position with Brendan and my need to get out from underneath him.

  “Get off me! Get off me, Brendan.”

  Kicking and struggling with all of my strength I try to get out from under him. Wriggling furiously beneath him when that doesn't work, I begin gasping for breath as tears run down my face and my panic overwhelms me.

  “Fuck, Lainey calm down. It's me. It's Mik. I'm not him. You're safe.” Mik's voice is strained as he tries to reason with me. “I forgot about your trigger. Fuck, Angel. I'm so fucking sorry. Don't cry, don't cry.”

  Mik scrambles off of me as he apologizes. The second his body leaves mine, I roll myself into the fetal position and sob uncontrollably. On top of dealing with the residual fear caused by the flashback, I'm overcome with mortification that I flipped out and called him Brendan.

  He crawls slowly onto the bed next to me, approaching as if I am an injured animal that he doesn't want to scare. He strokes my hair in an attempt to soothe me.

  “Breath, Angel. In and out. In and out,” he says soothingly, his words following the rhythm I need to stop hyperventilating. I force myself to follow his voice and little by little, my body begins to relax and I get myself under control. My body is still shuddering as he lies down next to me and gathers me into his arms.

  "I'm so sorry I lost my shit with you. I just lost it when you started arguing about keeping quiet and all I could think about was your stubborn arse getting hurt again. I forgot about your trigger, Angel.” He brushes his lips against my forehead. “Not that any of that's an excuse for what I did. Fuck, I'm so sorry.”

  “It's okay, Mik. We both know I’m too stubborn for my own good sometimes.”

  He chuckles as I confess one of my major faults.

  “I'm sorry I hit you. I didn't even realize I was going to until I'd already done it. It just makes me so mad when you boss me around,” I murmur against his chest.

  My voice is croaky and my throat is sore from my hysterics but I make myself continue, “I really sorry that I called you Brendan and flipped out on you. I wish I could be normal for you.”

  “Fucking hell, Angel. Don't apologize to me. You are the toughest woman I know. The shit you've survived is unreal so, you know what, fuck normal! I love you the way you are. It's my fault for forgetting that being pinned like that is one of your triggers. I'm an asshole for touching you when I'm pissed off.”

  We hug each other tightly for a long moment, each silently forgiving the other for our parts in our latest blow up. The stress and tension that’s permeating the Club and our normally evenly keeled relationship lately is worrying me. We never argue like this. I want everything to go back to normal. Now!

  “Why can't I tell Dad that Benji is lying?”

  “You know I can't discuss Club business with you,” Mik admonishes me gently.

  He strokes my back in long slow strokes, as an apology.

  “I would if I could but I can't this time. I promise I'll fill you in on all the details once it's sorted. I shouldn't have even told you about the rat, Angel.”

  The secrecy and code of silence that the Club requires is my biggest pet hate about the MC. Mik’s usually pretty good about keeping me in the loop but sometimes there’s stuff he won't tell me. I try to accept it but it annoys me.

  “I promise I won't say anything until you say I can but I want to know everything once you've fixed it please.”

  Hot air blows over my head as he releases a long sigh of relief at my acquiescence. He nods in agreement with my request. I really hope he keeps his promise because I get the feeling he is going to need a safe place to decompress once this is over.

  “Whatever is happening obviously affects more than the brothers since you're worried about me?” I subtly pry.

  “I'm not telling you anything else, Lainey. You just need to keep your nose out of this, as hard as it will be for you.”

  I feel his lips curl into a smile against my forehead. He knows I'm fishing and he thinks it's funny. The smarty pants knows me too well.

  “I need you to do one more t
hing for me, Angel.”

  “Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like this any more than I like having to keep my mouth shut for the time being?” I ask him, rolling my eyes. The tentative way he asked me is a dead giveaway that I'm about to be hit with something I won't want to do.

  “I need you to go back to our house tomorrow.”

  “Oh, I can do that. I wanted to go home days ago.” I laugh at his wariness. Why would he be hesitant to ask me to go back home with him? Does he thinks I'm scared?

  “I'm not scared to go home, if that's what you are worried about. I hate lockdown. When can we go?” I sit up and clap my hands with happiness. I can't wait to go home and just be the two of us again. We will be able to fix our problems if it's just us.

  “I'm not coming with you.”

  “WHAT?”

  I move off of the bed and plonk myself into the armchair facing him. I need space if I'm going to get my head around his request.

  “I won't go without you.”

  “I need to find out who the fucking rat is and I need you safely out of the way to do it.” I can tell by his sharp tone and direct stare that he is resolute in his plan and I'm not going to be able to sway him. “I'm sending Murray and Connor to watch you. At the moment they’re the only brothers I- trust outside of Timber. You can't go to work or anywhere else until this is over. I need you to stay put and do what you're told.”

  “I don't understand.”

  Crouching in front on the chair, he grabs my hands. He places his forehead against mine and stares into my eyes.

  “Angel, you are the most important person to me in this whole fucked up world. If I had to choose I would pick you over this Club without question. I don't want to choose so I need to make the Club safe so I can let you near it again. Timber has my back and he agrees that we need to get you out of here. You are my weakness, you are Beast’s weakness, hell Lainey you can be used to hurt every officer of this Club and most of the brothers. Wendy, Matty and Lachie are heading home with the Emerald chapter for protection and everyone else is staying in lockdown. You’re going home, Mo Ghrá. We trust Murray and Connor to stay with you but no one else.”

  “Why can't I stay here in our room while you fix everything? I know everyone in this Club just as well as you do, I can help find the rat.”

  Running his hand through his hair, Mik eyeballs me pointedly.

  “That is exactly why I'm sending you home. You’re gonna get yourself hurt trying to help. I don't give a flying fuck about anyone else but you and anyone with eyes knows that. Who do you think the rat will target with if they work out I'm onto them?”

  Grabbing my hands again, he implores me to agree with his plan using his eyes and his words.

  “I can't take the chance that fucking Brendan might get you again. We have our suspicions but what if we’re fucking wrong? What if we fucking fail? You need to be out of the way so I can pull this shit off. I can't do the shit I need to do without knowing you're away from here and safe.”

  I swallow my arguments as his words sink in. As much as I hate it, he is right. I'm a distraction and a liability.

  Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pull him between my legs and hold him tight to my chest. I kiss him long and hard before I force myself to agree to his plan.

  “I'll go home but I want you to come home to me each night.”

  “My angel, Mo Ghrá, my everything. I love you but I can't do that. We need to put distance between us until this is over.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  Mik

  Present Day

  Vomit rises in my throat at the view in front of me but I force it back down. I can't let my feelings show or this whole plan is going to blow up in my fucking face. I've risked too much for it to fail.

  “Do you like that, Mad Dog?” Sherri asks me in her stupid, put on voice. She's grating on my nerves, her naked gyrations on my lap making me sick. Shadow seems to think she's irresistible and he likes to share. I've avoided fucking her so far, with Timber taking one for the team last night, but I know crunch time is closing in on me.

  The sheer depth of treachery we have uncovered has blown our minds. If I'm to avoid fucking her to prove I'm loyal to Shadow and done with Lainey and her family, I need to put an end to this tonight. It's now or never.

  “Oh yeah baby, you're so hot,” I tell her, even though the exact opposite is the truth.

  She presses her overinflated chest into my face, her sickly perfume making me feel sicker, and rubs herself over my groin. Nothing so much as twitches since there's no fucking way this whore will be able to get me up. I'm not interested in anyone but my woman. The one I sent away over two weeks ago and haven't seen or spoken to since.

  I hate doing this to Lainey but Sherri and Shadow are my only in. I need to find all of the rats and unravel the plan that Shadow and some of my supposed brothers are hatching. We have two of Shadow’s supporters here with us tonight but I know there has to be more than these three. Putting an end to their schemes is the only way I can protect my woman and keep the MC intact.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” Timber roars, pulling me out of my fucked up thoughts.

  I push Sherri off of my lap and onto the floor, jumping to my feet to find that Timber has Shadow pinned face first against the wall. Timber rips his mobile phone from his hands and examines it.

  “Who did you send the photo’s to?” he questions Shadow.

  “My boss needs collateral, brother. I know you two are on our side but he wanted proof of your loyalty.” Shadow shrugs, dismissive of Timber’s angry questions.

  He’s high as a fucking kite because he's been sucking on a glass pipe all night. I've bided my time, gaining Shadow’s confidence and I think tonight is the night he will talk. He's already filled us in about the meth he deals secretly in the Club, we are just waiting to hear the rest of their plot.

  “He wanted pictures of Mad Dog and a whore. He said it’s so he can send them to Beast and Maddi if he thinks you're fucking with him or his plans.”

  "There’ll be no fucking need for that since I'm done with her and Beast’s shit.” I tell him, acting as if my heart isn't about to pound out of my goddamned chest at the mere thought of Lainey ever seeing those photos. I'll never be done with Lainey but I can't tell this conniving fucker that.

  Once Shadow appears to accept my answer Timber lets him go and returns to his seat, the one where he was pretending to be enthralled with the lap dance he was receiving from a whore.

  I can see he’s just about over this shit and ready to blow. It was a big ask, getting him to help me. He loves Lainey and this Club and pretending that he doesn't give a shit about either goes against everything he stands for. His preferred method of fixing things in banging heads together and torture, not deception and lies.

  "When are you going to introduce us to this boss of yours?” I ask.

  It's time to get to the point.

  “He doesn't want to meet you two until this takeover is over and fucking done with. We need you guys to win over any holdouts. You fuckers need to make the transition go smooth before he'll trust you enough to show his face.”

  I can't believe this shit. I'm not waiting around until my Club is fucked for answers.

  “At least tell me who the fuck I'm dealing with? Keeping us in the dark isn't achieving fuck all, Shadow.”

  I betting everything on the chance that he is high enough tonight to be more talkative than he usually is.

  “The Mavericks, man. That's who we’re dealing with. Fuck you're thicker than I thought.”

  He laughs at me. It takes everything I have in me not to blow my cover and throttle him.

  “Think about it, Mad Dog. We let the Mavericks patch us over and we’ll be fucking drowning in cash and guns and pussy!”

  Sherri rubs herself against me at his words, having finally picked her stoned ass up from the floor.

  “Don't worry I'll make the transition smooth for you, Mad Dog. I'll treat you how
a man like you should be.”

  She unzips me and forces her hand into my pants. I couldn't be more flaccid and unhappiness clouds her features when she realises she has no effect on me. Fucking dumb bitch is dreaming if she thinks she holds a candle to Lainey. I'd rather stick my cock in a blender than her. Probably have the same outcome too.

  “As if Beasts gonna let that happen.”

  Timber interjects as I pull Sherri’s hand from my cock. He’s had enough, it's written all over his face as he pushes to feet and crosses his arms over his chest, glaring at an oblivious Shadow.

  “He won't be a problem. He's gonna be dealt with. Everyone's gonna be dealt with tonight.” Shadow grins at me as if he knows a secret that I don't. Lighting up, he takes another pull on his glass pipe, eyes rolling back in his head as it hits him.

  “What?” I ask.

  I'm missing something here. None of this makes sense.

  "Fuck, Mad Dog, don't you see yet? Your sexy woman is the key. The takeover was funded for the Mavericks on the provision she's part of the deal. I was gonna have to take you out but you came to your fucking senses and joined us.”

  Shadow laughs like a lunatic at me. He's higher than I thought he was if he thinks he's going to get away with this.

  Eyeing Timber, I incline my head slightly so he knows it's time. In one swift movement I push Sherri to the floor and pull my handgun from my waistband, pinning Shadow against the wall with my forearm across his throat and shoving the barrel of my gun against his temple. Sherri starts shrieking but I tell her to shut up and she promptly does.

  As I'm making my move, Timber charges at Elijah and Brick, two of our former brothers who have been part of Shadow’s plan with the Mavericks. They try to push the whore they’re double teaming off of them but Timber has shot them both in the head with his silenced pistol before they have a chance to move. Their whore cowers on the ground with her hands above her head so he moves to subdue Sherri, silencing her with a hand over her mouth and a gun to her head.