by Fuyumi Ono
Gyokuyou bowed to the statue and continued on towards the back. Two doors--right and left--graced the wall behind the altar. Gyokuyou knocked on the door on the left. And waited several long moments. At length, from the door came the ringing sound of two stone disks being struck together.
She opened the door. Considering the size of the court, there should not be much else beyond that door. But deeper in were still more pavilions.
Urged on by Gyokuyou, Youko passed through the door.
Inside was a temple that was not a temple. The expansive white floor resembled that of the court. In the center was the same altar and the same throne. Except the pearl curtain had been raised.
The two rooms seemed to be copies of each other. But here there was no ceiling. No inner walls. The pure white pillars forming the wall behind the throne were in fact a huge waterfall descending out of infinity. The course of the water was shrouded in mist and fog. Looking up, all that could be discerned were white rays of light shining from a great distance.
On one side of the throne, drenched in the clean, white light, stood a woman. Following Gyokuyou's example and kneeling in obeisance, Youko and the others understood that this was the Queen Mother of the West.
Even Shouryuu had never seen her before. True Gods did not mingle with those of the world below. The other two had never been convinced that the Goddess actually existed.
The beauty of Hekika Genkun's countenance was acknowledged by one and all. Compared to her, the Queen Mother of the West appeared--not ugly--but surprisingly plain.
The wizardesses bearing Taiki laid him down at her feet. Casting her eyes upon him, she sat calmly, not stirring a muscle.
"This is a horrid sight." Her voice was flat, almost mechanical.
Gyokuyou bowed deeply. "As you have observed, this is more than our poor, unworthy hands can handle. We wish to rely upon the Queen Mother and her powers."
"He comes here despised and cursed. I have never before beheld such a self-damned and despised kirin."
Her words suggested not a glimmer of pity, perhaps because the silently falling curtain of water absorbed any lilt or intonation in her voice.
"The shirei have lost the Way and run wild. This is due to no fault of the kirin himself. He has lost his horn, fallen ill, and has not the strength to discipline the raging shirei within him."
"Leave the shirei to me. I shall exorcize them."
"And Taiki?"
Silence fell upon their group. The woman grew still. She appeared to Risai little changed from her stone statue. Nothing moved except for the falling water and rising mist behind her. It looked like a river of fine powder. Dust dancing in the wind.
"Please do not cast him aside," said Risai.
The only evidence of a reaction on the part of the Queen Mother was a slight arch of her eyebrows.
"He is necessary to Tai."
"Even if cured, there is nothing he can do. Do you intend to defeat your enemies with that body of yours?" She spoke without a spark of empathy.
Risai grasped the shoulder of her missing right arm. "No."
"Taiki is much like you. There is nothing more he can do."
"He still matters, nonetheless."
"For what purpose?"
"To save Tai."
"Why do you pray for the salvation of Tai?"
Risai found herself at a loss for words. "The--the answer to that question should go without saying."
"Without saying?"
Risai opened her mouth, but had nothing to say. Why was she so driven to save Tai in the first place?
"Do you love Taiki and the Royal Tai? Do you love the Imperial Court in which you served?"
That is true as well, Risai thought. She revered Gyousou and adored Taiki. She was proud of the fact that they had taken her into their confidence and appointed her to a position of trust. She loved that place where she was treated as "one of the team."
But even Risai understood. What was lost would never be restored as it once was. She had lost many of her own subordinates, and many of the court officials she trusted. Last she'd heard, the disposition of Taisai Kaihaku of the Ministry of Heaven remained unknown. The word was that Chousai Eichuu had died from his wounds. The rumors also said that Ministers Senkaku of the Ministry of Earth and Haboku of the Ministry of Summer had been executed. She had no idea what had happened after she'd parted with Kaei in Sui Province, and was too frightened to pursue the matter any further.
All these people buried under six years of time. Risai looked down at the feet of the Queen Mother, where Taiki lay. He was no longer the child she once knew. That young Taiki no longer existed.
"Or you simply cannot forgive Asen?"
Of course she couldn't forgive Asen. He'd gained Taiki's trust and then used it to attack him. He had stolen the throne. He had driven Tai into the depths of hell. So many had lost their lives because of him. There was no way such inhumanity could ever be forgiven. That Asen could be permitted to remain upon the throne was a flat repudiation of morality and good sense, charity and good faith--of everything that human beings should hold dear.
"You want to clear your good name? Or is this out of love for Tai?"
Risai couldn't answer. Neither one seemed the right answer. "I don't know."
"So you stamp your feet and carry on like an unreasonable child about how much everything upsets you."
That wasn't it either. Risai lifted her gaze. The white expanse of space reminded her--however painfully--of Tai's snow-swept landscapes. The countless snowflakes blanketing the mountains and fields and villages. Every sound deadened and subdued. Beneath the silent shroud, the world falling into a kind of paralyzed hibernation.
Risai definitely felt the sting of her muddied reputation. She was furious at Asen for doing so. She had sworn revenge upon him for trampling all that was good and right beneath his feet. She had very much resolved herself that if Heaven would not straighten his crooked paths, then she would.
Waiting for the opportunity while roaming about Jou Province, Risai had lost many friends and acquaintances. After suffering so many wounds, she had come to believe that only in overthrowing Asen could she hope for any hope of healing.
And yet with each passing winter, the snow had frozen all those thoughts out of her.
"I don't even know for certain myself." She followed the billowing mists from the waterfall with her eyes. It resembled the smoke arising from the ruins. "Except that Tai will be destroyed if things continue as they are."
"And its destruction is unacceptable to you?"
"Yes. That alone I cannot bear."
"Why?"
Why, Risai thought to herself. The first thing that came out of her mouth was the last thing she expected to say. "Because if Tai falls, it will be my fault."
"Your fault?"
"I don't know how to say it. But that's the way it feels to me." Of course, the ruin of Tai was not something Risai could have done. "If Tai is destroyed, so much shall be lost to me. The kingdom I love. Its realms and territories. Its people. And every memory tied to them. Everything. But I sense I shall lose something even greater than all that. Before longing for what is lost and weeping for what I no longer have, I shall loath what I have become and curse my fate."
She took a breath and let it out. "You're right. I may be acting like a querulous child. At the end of the day, I was willing claw my way out of there in order to escape that pain. Simply in order to preserve the sanctity of my own emotions."
Risai looked down at Taiki, and then turned her gaze to the altar. "This is not something I am hoping for from the Taiho. I'm not looking for any miracles. If the Gods--who could perform such a miracle--are not going to save Tai, how could I expect the Taiho to do so?"
The Goddess raised an eyebrow.
"However, light must be brought to Tai. Lacking that, Tai will truly freeze over and the death and destruction will only continue."
The Queen Mother said nothing. Her face expressed nothing. In her eyes
was reflected a universe of nothing. At last, her eyes fell on Taiki.
"I will exorcize this sickness from him. I promise nothing else." Almost mechanically, she raised her hand. "You may leave now. And take him with you."
As soon as she had spoken, a roaring sound resonated and the waterfall surrounded the throne, swallowing it up in the mist. Before she could even raise her voice in alarm, Risai stumbled backwards, closing her eyes reflexively. Gathering her wits about her, she realized she was at the back of the wide court, standing on the white cobblestones.
The empty expanse of cobblestones reached out to the foothills of the verdant mountains. The quiet sound of the waves from the Sea of Clouds drifted in.
Risai looked around in confusion, at the wizardesses gathered around Taiki, at the dumbfounded Youko and Shouryuu. Gyokuyou alone knelt on the cobblestones. After bowing deeply, she got to her feet and glanced over her shoulder at Risai.
"You may take him back with you. Taiki will sleep for a while, but as the Queen Mother promised, he will most definitely be cured of this sickness."
Risai looked back at Gyokuyou. Her noble features reminded her of the sad visage of the young woman she had parted with so long ago in Gyousou's home province of I.
"That is all?"
Gyokuyou nodded wordlessly.
Part Seven
he king and kirin of Han were waiting for them when they got back to Kei.
Enkyuu palace had been converted into Taiki's recovery room. Taiki continued to slumber after being brought back from Mt. Hou. But now Enki and Keiki and the other kirin were able to approach him.
Having confirmed this for herself, with a great apparent relief, Renrin as well would be returning to Ren.
"You won't be coming to see him?" Risai inquired.
Preparing for her journey home, Renrin shook her head. "I have seen his face. I know he will be okay. With no other compelling reason to stay, I must be about my kingdom's business."
"But--" Risai was about to say, and hung her head instead. Holed up in Kinpa Palace, Renrin had been spending time in the search for Taiki she should have been devoting to her own people. Risai had essentially stolen Ren's Taiho from Ren. There was no way she could continue to detain her for mere sentimental reasons.
Renrin smiled. "With things getting back to normal, I'm starting to miss my liege. And if I don't get back right away, he's going to get anxious too. We don't want to be out of each other's sight any longer than necessary."
Risai amiably agreed, and saw her off with a deep bow. The next day, Shouryuu returned to En, leaving Enki behind. The first hints of fall began stealing into the quiet West Gardens.
She stayed by Taiki's side. Anything she couldn't handle, Keikei was there to pick up the slack.
"He still hasn't opened his eyes," Keikei said rather grumpily. He always brought a sprig of bush clover with him so that would be the first thing Taiki saw when he woke up.
"His color looks a lot better."
"Yes, it does. The Tai Taiho is a kirin, and yet he doesn't have golden hair."
"That's why he's called the 'black kirin.'"
"I thought his hair turned this color because of his illness, but Youko said that wasn't the case."
"Yes," Risai said with a smile.
"I thought the Tai Taiho was a lot smaller person."
"He grew up. The last time I saw him before now was six years ago."
The kirin sleeping there was no longer a child. She couldn't say it didn't leave her somewhat discomfited. The young Taiki had not returned to her. Those six years had been swept away and would never return.
"It must have been a tough place where he was those six years."
"Tough?"
"I mean, that would explain why he got sick."
"Indeed. That may well be the case."
"It's good to have him back, though."
"Yes," Risai answered.
Taiki's eyelashes faintly fluttered.
"Taiki?"
Keikei leaned forward to get a better look. Taiki opened his eyes, sending him stumbling backward in surprise.
"Keikei, go tell Youko."
Keikei dashed out of the room with a liveliness that stirred the petals on the bush clover next to the bed. Taiki's still dim gaze followed him out of the room.
"Are you conscious, Taiki?" Risai hovered over him and studied his face.
His wavering eyes focused on her. He blinked, as if perceiving a vision before him.
"You've come back. Do you understand?"
He stared at Risai in astonishment. And then nodded. "Risai?" he said in a faint voice. Not the voice of a child. A warm, soft voice.
"Yes." The tears coursed down her cheeks as she embraced the frail body lying beneath the quilts.
"Risai, your arm--" The arms hugging her in turn had detected her missing right limb.
"I lost it due to a bit of carelessness."
"Are you all right?"
"I've never been better."
She started to straighten herself, but Taiki's thin arms detained her. "Risai, I'm sorry."
"Don't be," she replied, though the words were likely lost in the sound of her weeping.
A junior official entered the Outer Palace during the Privy Council meeting and whispered something to Koukan. He nodded. Apologizing, he approached the dais. He said something quietly to Youko, who nodded in turn.
Koukan descended the dais, and returned to the business of the Privy Council. Youko beckoned to Keiki, standing behind her. He leaned forward with a curious look.
"Keiki," she said in a small voice, "Taiki is awake."
Keiki couldn't keep the reaction from his eyes.
"Please go and see how he is."
"But--" he said in a tight voice.
"It's okay," Youko smiled. "Go."
After a moment's hesitation, Keiki left the Outer Palace and headed for Enkyuu Palace. When he arrived at Taiki's quarters, he found that Enki had already arrived.
"Kei Taiho."
Keiki did not recognize the voice beckoning him from the bed. The face looking up at him was no more familiar to him than all the times he had come here before to study Taiki's sleeping countenance. And like all those other times, he found himself at something of a loss. He stood uncertainly by the bed.
With a grin, Rokuta left the room, leaving the two of them alone, and Keiki feeling all the more at sea.
"I'm sorry for all the trouble I have put you to."
"Think nothing of it. Are you feeling all right?"
"Yes. I am deeply grateful from the bottom of my heart for all you have done for Risai and for myself."
He spoke in a quiet voice. Keiki grew more perplexed. It was logical that he should look different. But the smile that had once bubbled effortlessly to his lips, and the childlike voice that accompanied it, were gone. That small kirin was gone. The sense of loss weighed heavily on his thoughts.
"Such was not the product of my efforts, but those of Her Highness."
Keiki bowed his head. He couldn't help remembering that the Empress he was serving when he first met Taiki was no longer counted among the living. That many months and years had passed between then and now.
"Is the Royal Kei a taika?"
He must have been told something about the circumstances surrounding her coronation. "Yes. She's been looking forward to meeting you. She's currently conducting the Privy Council. But she should be coming here directly."
"Oh. I see," he answered.
Keiki felt himself losing the thread of the conversation. He didn't know where to direct his attention. His gaze drifted aimlessly across the bed.
A small voice said, "I dreamed a long and terrible dream."
Keiki came back to his senses with a start. A faint smile came to the wan and sickly face.
"You remember, don't you? The first time we met I was a kirin completely incapable of doing anything."
"Ah--yes--"
"You patiently did so much on my behalf, and taught me
so much, and yet I forgot all of it."
"Taiki--"
"In the midst of those painful dreams, I constantly saw visions of Houro Palace. I longed for it so badly, and wanted to go there." He looked at Keiki. "I wonder if I made it in time."
"Taiki--"
"I frittered away so much time. I feel like I've lost so much. But we made it in time, didn't we? I feel there is still so much left for me to do."
"Of course," Keiki said, with as much conviction as he could muster. "That's why we brought you home. The two of us speaking here and now is testimony enough that hope remains alive. Don't worry about it."
"Yes," he said very thoughtfully, and closed his eyes.
Chapter 46
"Taiki?"
"Yes," he said with a nod.
Sitting this close to him, he looked quite haggard. Nevertheless, he managed to come to a half-sitting position, and put on a brave front.
"You are the Royal Kei?"
"My name is Youko Nakajima."
A smile flitted across his lips. "My surname is Takasato."
Youko took a long breath. She was seized by an unexpected sensation that left her almost flustered. "It does feel quite strange, meeting somebody from my same generation in a place like this."
"Same here. You have done so much for me. I am very grateful."
"Nothing you need thank me for," Youko said reluctantly, casting her eyes down. "We haven't done anything worth being commended for. Tai still remains in the same sad straits as before."
"I am thankful that you came to retrieve me."
"Yes, we can both agree on that."
Illustration
Youko found herself at a loss for words. There were so many things she had planned on talking about when they met. Their old home town. This, that and the other thing. But when Taiki was right in front of her, she couldn't think of what to say.
Their old "home town" was a country they could never return to. It had become for Youko a place entirely unrelated to her. Yet touch upon some silly topic and in that sense of poignancy was a still profound sense of loss. The thought of being seized by homesickness and nostalgia if the conversation turned in the wrong direction frightened her.
