by Moondi, Romi
“Well I’m leaving in September, so I’ll tell my boss next month and I’ll work until the end of August.”
“What do you mean you’re leaving in September?” my mother asked, her voice sounding extra venomous. “When did we give you our permission?”
I tried not to laugh. “I’m thirty years old; I need to make my own choices now.”
“You mean throw your life away!” she cried. “Who will marry you when you come back? NO ONE!” That was enough for my mother, as she threw the newspaper in my direction and stormed off.
My dad still seemed to be in shock, and only managed to utter a few final words. “Why would you ruin your life like this....”
I slowly left the room, hoping he would call me back to say something encouraging, but he didn’t. It hurt not to hear a “good luck,” or even one “congrats” for all the things I had accomplished as a self-published author. It hurt a lot, but all I could do was feel lucky they didn’t pull out a shot-gun. My whole life had revolved around avoiding the proverbial shot-gun, while so many other parents felt pride and even encouraged their children’s dreams. But this was my special life.
It could be worse.
I climbed up the stairs and felt stronger with each step. I’m going to Paris...
***
On a humid day in late July, I leaned against the vent in my cubicle. The cold air blasted onto my skin, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that my insides were burning up.
I wiped my sweaty palms on my tight khaki capris, straightened out the front of my ruffled blue sleeveless blouse, and focused really hard on my Outlook calendar.
It’s time.
I walked to my boss Shawn’s office with careful steps, wearing the highest heels I’d ever worn outside of practice sessions in my bedroom.
Domination is essential today.
When I knocked on the open door he smiled. “Let me just finish this e-mail.”
He typed away furiously, which surprised me since I’d never seen him doing any work in almost a year and a half.
Once he finished, he ran his tiny fingers through his spiky orange hair and smiled. I almost wished he would stand so I could tower over him.
“So,” he said. “You called this meeting...what are we ‘checking in’ about? Is it that presentation I’m doing on Thursday? Because I’d love to get some more of your help on that.”
I tried my hardest not to roll my eyes. I had one objective, and it was quitting this job on the best of terms, so I’d have a first crack at coming back when the money ran out.
“Here’s the thing: it’s been great being on your team for a year and a half.”
His face went translucent-white. “You’re quitting? Is it a competitor? If it’s a competitor I have to walk you out right away, but then I won’t be able to know what’s going on with all the projects you’ve been doing...” He quietly started muttering to himself, liked he’d forgotten I was even in the room.
“I’m not going to a competitor,” I said.
He sighed loudly. “Well where then? And why would you want to leave retail? Are they giving you more money? Maybe we can match that...”
For the first time ever, I started to wonder if Shawn was a cocaine addict. Calm down dude!
“Actually, no one’s paying me more. I’m just taking a year off to pursue writing...in Paris.”
I smiled but he didn’t smile back.
Instead he started laughing. Hard.
After finally catching his breath he raised an eyebrow at me. “Aren’t you too old to be taking a year off to travel?”
Excuse me, asshole?
I cleared my throat. “It’s not like that. I’m actually a pretty successful author, so I figured it’s time to start seeing a bit of the world and---”
“Wait,” he said. “You’re a successful author? Like J. K. Rowling?”
“Well no...”
“That’s the thing. I’ve never even heard of any of your books. And maybe ONE DAY you’ll be successful, but you can’t throw away a career over that. Why don’t you just write on evenings and weekends? Like how most people do with their hobbies.”
Hobby?
“Look,” I said more firmly now. “This is my personal decision, and I’m telling you now because I’m giving you a month instead of two weeks notice. So I can help you transition before I leave.”
Since you’re an idiot and you need all the help you can get.
He rolled his eyes. “Wow...well thank you for that generous month,” he said sarcastically. “And don’t worry; we’ll be able to replace you without a problem.”
Or really?! After everything I’ve done for you?
“Great!” It was my turn to sound sarcastic now.
“Just remember one thing,” he added in a sinister tone. “Once you throw your career away, you won’t be looked upon fondly when you try to come back. So yeah...good luck with all...‘this.’ I hope it works out for you!” He gave me the thumbs-up with his tiny appendages, as I considered taking all five-foot-one of him and body-slamming him into a file cabinet.
Instead I took a deep breath and stood from my chair, towering over him at last. “Okay then, I guess I’ll go see HR to figure out the details. And by the way...I don’t think I’ll have any time to help you with your presentation this week. You know...with so much stuff to wrap up in the transition.”
I tossed him a “fuck you” smile and walked away, promising myself that no matter what happened in Paris, I would never work a corporate job again...
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The heated rooftop patio of one of Toronto’s most exclusive’s hotels was the setting for my going away party. It was all thanks to Amy who knew a guy who worked at Red Bull, and since companies like Red Bull spent ninety-five percent of their time entertaining clients...well here we were with exclusive access.
With Eleanor, Laura, and several other friends from work here to see me off, I was three days away from leaving Canada, and surrounded by the most important people in my life. Even my siblings Sonny and Neema had shown up, along with my quasi-sibling Anil. This quickly made me realize how fun they were when they drank. Why didn’t I discover this earlier?
With lovely orange lanterns lighting our faces, we sat on expensive outdoor couches in immaculate white. My hair was loosely-curled and falling over one shoulder, matching nicely with a purple strapless top and dark-wash skinny jeans. I was trying to look as good as I felt, because aside from the occasional flashes of Erik that would creep into my memory (down to once a week now), it was really a great time to be alive.
I took a sip of a cool-looking blue martini, drink number three with my buzz growing ever stronger.
“Since I won’t be around, don’t forget to clean Tommy’s litter box EVERY day!” I pointed at Sonny with a serious expression. He simply rolled his eyes and took another swig of beer. One of the saddest things about leaving Canada was leaving my chubby cat Tommy behind; what would I do without his morning cuddles? Slightly pathetic, but I’ll own it.
“So who’s taking you to the airport?” said Neema.
“Dad. At least I think so. I gave him my flight information but he just nodded.”
“Is mom coming to the airport too?”
“Ha!” I said, almost dropping the drink in my lap. “For the last two months she’s been acting like I’m not even leaving. She barely mentioned it once and didn’t even help me pack. I don’t even know if she’ll say goodbye.” I frowned.
“Your parents totally hate you now,” said my brother-in-law Anil.
“Shut up!” I threw a pastry-encrusted cheese ball at him as he laughed.
I rose from the couch and ran my fingers through my hair, hoping I would feel this vibrant when I walked the streets of Paris. I wandered my way over to the couch where the girls were sitting, and took a long look at the CN Tower beyond. This city had shaped so much of my adult existence; boy would I ever miss it. The next thing I knew, Amy and Eleanor had wrapped me in a hug, wi
th Laura squeezing in as well. Dave stood nearby and smiled.
“We’re gonna miss youuu!” said the girls all at once.
As we all pulled away, Eleanor, looking gorgeous as always spoke first. “I can’t believe our wine dates are over; it’s always so much fun talking about loser guys with you!” She elbowed me gently.
“Well you’ll have no trouble meeting more losers, so we’ll just have to do it over Skype!”
Amy was next, as she approached me with a mischievous grin. “Do you know how many guys you’re going to sleep with in a year?” My drink almost exploded in my hand as she went on. What? “Plus it’s tourist central; so you can probably hit up nine or ten nationalities, at least!”
Amy elbowed me just like Eleanor had, only Amy’s was a rock-hard dig that was sure to leave minor bruising.
Despite the pain I couldn’t stop laughing at Amy, until my eye caught a nervous-looking Laura standing behind her. I knew those shifty eyes of hers; she was definitely hiding something.
“What is it?” I said to her quietly.
She quickly shook her head as her face went red. “Nothing!”
I smiled and spoke through gritted teeth. “Whatever it is...you better goddamn tell me before I leave.”
“No really it’s YOUR party...”
I gasped. “What do you mean it’s MY party? Do YOU have something to celebrate too?”
I looked at Dave who immediately avoided my eyes. “Oh my god,” I said, grabbing Laura by the shoulders. “Show it to me; show it to me NOW!”
Her face was now a deep shade of crimson, but despite all the blushing she pulled out a tiny box.
I gasped again as I grabbed it from her. I opened the box and there it was. The ring. In all its round-cut glistening glory.
After a few seconds of being entranced by the shiny rock, I turned to Laura and gave her my warmest smile. “Congrats,” I whispered. “And also,” I went on, “HOLY SHIT CONGRATS!”
Our loud girly moment lasted a good ten seconds as Dave tried to slowly inch away. He wasn’t getting away from me that easily though, as I grabbed him and hugged him too.
“So,” I said, with my arms around both of them now. “When is it?”
“Next June,” said Laura, still looking rather nervous. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything, I just didn’t want you to think I was stealing your thunder!”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh puh-leease, who needs thunder when the both of us put together are a hurricane?!...Or maybe a different analogy that doesn’t involve homes and lives being destroyed in a natural disaster.” I scrunched my nose. “So June, huh?” I thought about it for a second. “Well then I guess I’m flying home next June for a wedding!”
Both of us screamed once more, while Dave once again seemed awkwardly out of place. In the end it was amazing to see how far we’d come; Laura finally had her work-back schedule sorted out, and I was finally ready to live a life without a schedule at all. That should be interesting.
I took a few steps back so I could soak them all in: Eleanor, the feisty bombshell who refused to ever settle on “average;” Amy, the hilarious wild card with the heart of gold, and Laura, the wise best friend who always wore her heart on her sleeve.
The thought of leaving them behind was a tough one, and my eyes started filling with tears. “I will definitely miss you all,” I said in a shaky voice. “But that’s what Skype and cheap flights are for! Just remember there’s always room on my couch. Or I’ll buy an air mattress; whatever you guys need!”
They laughed and we all came together in another hug. Then, like a mutation of four human women entangled as one, we made our way over to the bar, as I realized there could be no Parisian replacement for friends like this...
***
I’d now said goodbye to all my girls except one.
The last one to see was long past dead, but lived on in stone as a legend like no other in history.
“Hey,” I said.
Cleopatra nodded in acknowledgement.
But not really.
I cleared my throat for this awkward finale of talking to myself in a museum. At least until I get to the Louvre. “You really took your chances on love, and you always seemed to live in the moment.” I smiled as I thought of Julius Caesar and Alexander the Great, then frowned when I remembered Cleopatra’s tragic end. “Yeah...well...don’t worry, it didn’t work out for me either.”
I wanted to say more but an elderly tour group approached, so I pretended to look at tomb paintings.
Great.
Five minutes, three unsteady canes, and two slow-moving wheelchairs later, they were finally out of earshot.
“Anyway...even though I know I won’t follow in your footsteps with a poisonous suicide, I will always keep living in the moment, whatever that does or doesn’t bring.”
I stroked her stony hair for a final time.
“Thanks for the inspiration.”
***
My dad made the final turn into the Terminal One departures at the airport. I read the signs and much to my surprise, my airline drop-off came up sooner than expected. He pulled over and shut off the van, immediately getting out so he could hand me my luggage. I hopped out of the van right after him to help. Without even looking at me, he went in search of a cart. When he returned and stacked my suitcases on the cart, I readied to say goodbye. Finally he looked my way, his eyes starting to glisten just a bit.
“Good luck,” he said.
At last!
“Thanks,” I said, holding back the tears.
“Go there, work hard, and sell a million books to make our family proud.” He wrapped me in a tight hug, and part of me wished I wasn’t leaving. A moment later he released me and returned to the van, waving quickly then driving off even quicker.
I sighed and started pushing my cart inside, hoping that my father could eventually make my mother come around...the one who’d been too busy to even say goodbye.
***
With an hour left before my flight, and “bon voyage” messages flooding in from Facebook, my phone started buzzing unexpectedly.
I looked at it in shock.
Holy. Effing. Crap.
“Hello?” I said.
“Hello Roms.” I couldn’t help but smile at the only person in the world who was allowed to mispronounce my name.
“What is the nature of this call?” I professionally asked, trying my hardest not to laugh.
“Well this is your captain calling; your flight will be taking an unexpected detour to Barcelona.”
“Haha, very funny James.” I rolled my eyes.
“It’s interesting though,” he said. “We’ll be in the same time zone, at last.”
I smiled. “Who would’ve thought?”
“Perhaps when you’ve settled yourself in Paris, you can take a weekend trip to Barcelona. Whenever it suits you, that is.”
I thought about the life of James, and how I never quite knew where he was at, but how he always seemed to pop up at the perfect time. I also thought about my own life, and how---at last---I was finally on the brink of actually living it. Right now this life was for me and nobody else. “I’ll be taking a lot of weekend trips,” I said. “And Barcelona will probably be one of them. But...for the first little while at least, I want to discover things on my own. Is that fair?”
“That is entirely fair. That’s exactly how a writer should approach things.”
I smiled. “You know what James? Somehow you’re always...here.”
“You mean at the Toronto airport?”
I laughed. “No! I mean...you’re just never...gone.”
“Do you want me to be gone?”
I laughed “No! It’s just...it feels like there will never be a moment when you’ll suddenly cut me out of your life.” I immediately thought of Erik, who months ago had chosen to deal with things by doing exactly that.
“Roms, there will never be a time when I’ll feel the need to cut you out. In fact I don’t do that with anyone
. People fade in and out of your life, but they never have to actually leave. And when they do abruptly leave, that just means something isn’t being dealt with.”
I instantly thought of Erik again. “Well, I’m glad to know you’ll always be around. It’s weird...I never thought an Internet guy would be the only constant in my life.”
“Excuse me, but I’m fairly certain we’ve met before. Or have you so quickly forgotten? Which means the name ‘Internet Guy’ is now expired.”
“Hmm...I guess that means you need a new label.”
“I prefer a life without labels.”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh believe me I know! Mr. ‘Let’s-Just-Enjoy-the-Moment.’”
We both laughed,
“Have a good flight Roms, and do get in touch when it suits your mood.”
“Trust me I will. So...I guess I’ll see you when I see you.”
“That you will.”
I smiled as I hung up, realizing that for the first time in maybe ever, I didn’t need anyone at all. Knowing that I didn’t need it, but also knowing that Paris was the city of love, meant the coming year would definitely be a hell of an adventure.
Readying for take-off, time to start the ride of my life...
To Be Continued...
Note from the Author
Dear Reader,
You just finished reading a book that means a lot to me on a personal level.
I hope you enjoyed it.
It’s always difficult to take moments from real life that mean the world to us, and change them into something fictional for the reader experience. It’s difficult but it’s important, because if I didn’t write about stuff that scared the hell out of me, I doubt I’d be able to connect with any of you.
So...what’s next?
Well...I actually DID move to Paris, I wrote book three, and it was released on September 26th, 2013! It’s called “Never or Forever,” and in it you will see the return of your favourite characters in the backdrop of Paris, along with some new ones too!
